coming tomorrow...

The first in a series of looks at my kind of music divas.

How I Spent a Hot Summer Weekend

I'm a bad gay. While most of my friends were out in the hot, smoky Los Angeles night watching Liza shriek and croak her away through her two nights at the Hollywood Bowl, I was at home in the air conditioned comfort of my living with a few good friends watching great stuff like GRIZZLY (1976) and MAUSOLEUM (1983).

You see, I've seen Ms. Minnelli perform live throughout the 80s, 90s and even the early 2000s, and I feel I have already seen her at her best. Her triumphant run at Carnegie Hall and her post-Results tour were her glory days, and I will forever cherish seeing those performances.

Having met her and talked to Liza on a few occasions, I have nothing but admiration and respect for the lady whose flawless talent will forever be preserved in her films, TV specials and in my memories. I'm glad others now have gotten their turn to see her, but I'm so glad I sat this one out. Reviews of GRIZZLY and MAUSOLEUM to come soon.

Return to THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ

With so many blogs and websites running tributes to THE WIZARD OF OZ on it's 70th Anniversary, I've decided to re-post a look at a little-known sequel that my good friend Danny wrote way back in 2006. Take it away, Danny...

It all started innocently enough with a wonderful dinner from Kung Pao Bistro, then something went horribly wrong!!!!

For the next 70 minutes I was horrified to be watching THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ, a 1969 "sequel" to THE WIZARD OF OZ directed by Barry Mahon, also known for such classics as SANTA AND THE THREE BEARS, SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY

and I WAS A MAN: THE TRUE STORY OF ANSA KANSAS, AN HERMAPHRODITE (It's true - look it up on IMDB.com).

If I was naughty as a child, surely this movie was my comeuppance!!! It was just Awful! The cardboard sets, the bad lighting, the horrible singing, the crappy story, the abominable acting and the purple papier-mache cow couldn't keep me from admitting that it was leaps and bounds better than Disney's Broadway crapfest known as TARZAN.

Anyway, this surreal movie goes beyond any description, but here goes; imagine THE BRADY BUNCH is putting on a fundraiser show in their backyard.

They've chosen to do THE CRYING GAME using leftovers from Alice's old crafting night class, Carol's discarded wardrobe and costumes from an abandoned AUSTIN POWERS sequel.

And since there are so many Brady kids, they have to just throw in some other characters, including the lying translator for Cindy to play. The Story, well it's the CRYING GAME , you know, for kids.

Um, this kid, Pit (the writer/director's son) makes a Pumpkinhead, it scares the witch (who looks like a DAWN OF THE DEAD background actress) who uses her magic powders to bring it to life.

Then they sing a song. Badly. Then the witch tells Pit she's gonna turn him into a stone statue so he sings a song about not wanting to be a statue. Badly.

With the help of Pumpkinhead (read: African American slave), he escapes and goes to the emerald City where the gay Scarecrow rules, but the cattle call girls from the abandoned AUSTIN POWERS sequel led by a drum majorette, attack the City and take over, but regret that none of them knows how to make breakfast.

Anyhoo, Tip, his slave & gay fag friend go to the Tin Woodsman, who's getting a hot lube/rub job from some smokin' chicks, for help.

Then, they meet up with Glinda who sings a random song decently, then takes them all back to the witch to get her help in finding Ozma, the princess and rightful heir to the stool, I mean throne.

So the witch brings the whole crying game thing in by revealing that Tip isn't really a boy, he's Ozma, a girl! Just like Ansa Kansas, only opposite! The wizard transexualized him so that Ozma would not be found. Glinda says she's gonna bring Ozma back and Tip is all, "But I don't wanna die!" and well, maybe the ACTUAL DIALOGUE would explain it best...

GLINDA: "It is not exactly that you are going to be a girl. You're going to remain Tip. The girl is Ozma. You are not exactly Ozma now, you have grown into an adventurous boy. When I transform you, Ozma will be the girl, and Tip will be your spirit, a wonderful, adventurous spirit, that will float out into the land beyond, and become a part of every little boy."

Ozma comes back and the AUSTIN POWERS rejects go to Denny's for a hearty breakfast.

Oh yeah, there was a disturbing purple cow that was late on ALL of its cues. I imagine the director (sic) saying, "Moo! That's all you have to say! One word! When he stops talking, you say "Moo!" Alright, I get that you may not be able to tell he's actually talking, but when his lips stop being slightly open, you say MOOOOOOOO!!!"
This movie should be avoided at all costs. Doug (who watched it WITH Danny) rates this a 3 outta 10. Only true OZ completists need to see it - if only to see how NOT to make an OZ film.

DEGRASSI done right: SCHOOL'S OUT!

My recent disappointment over the shit heap known as DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD led me back to my DEGRASSI HIGH box set to watch the 1992 TV-movie called SCHOOL'S OUT! I missed this 90-minute special when it first aired because the geniuses at WNET in New York chose to air it only once– on Gay Pride Day 1992 – at a time when attending such events was important to me, being a young gay and all.So now, 17 years later, with the bad taste of DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD still in my mouth, I decided to give SCHOOL'S OUT a shot.It all starts out in true Degrassi fashion as class valedictorian Lucy Fernandez (Anais Granofsky) delivers a farewell address to the graduating class. Among the students is Caitlin Ryan (Stacie Mistysyn), who has skipped ahead one year to graduate before her boyfriend Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni), who has been left back. At Lucy's graduation party we learn that Lucy and Caitlin will be college roommates. At the party, we actually see Degrassi students drinking beer and smoking weed - with no judgements. Even some of the good students are getting high. Miss Goody Two Shoes Tessa Campanelli (Kirsten Bourne) thinks that her friends are "so boring" when they are stoned. Meanwhile, Joey presents Caitlin with a friendship ring that he's saved all his pennies for. He implies that it could also serve as an engagement ring, but Caitlin is not ready for that kind of commitment. She also isn't ready to have sex with him!Joey is crushed and runs out of the party and into Tessa, and he agrees to give her a "ride home". Before he drops her off, he plants a kiss on Tessa's lips. They later make a date and Joey gets to second base with her. Luckily he works in the pharmacy and has easy access to Shields brand condoms! So virginal Joey may finally get laid this summer, with our without Caitlin. Later Joey's pals gawky Snake (Stefan Brogren) and lesbian-lookalike Wheels (Neil Hope) discuss all matter of sexual hi jinks as they work on Wheel's crappy car. Snake is still a virgin too, but hopes his summer gig as a lifeguard will change all that.

So Joey and Tessa have sex...lots of it...so much for Tessa being Miss Goody Two Shoes! Weed=boring, sex=not so boring! While her and Joey continue to do the nasty, Caitlin goes back and forth on whether she wants to still go away to University with Lucy or stay local and be engaged to Joey. Lucy tries to convince to her choose college, but it looks like Caitlin might be giving it a second thought.Then Caitlin decides that she will give Joey what he wants for his 19th birthday, prompting Lucy shows her how to put a rubber on a banana (which she calls "Joey"). Then Caitlin puts her hair up and a condom in her purse and before you know it - they've had sex too. After the momentous event, Caitlin cries and Joey gets out of bed...
I'm sure my readers would like to see that again...(Click to enlarge even more!)
Anyways, after the sobbing and the amazing butt shot, Joey climbs into his grampa's boxers.
Meanwhile, Tessa pays a visit to the local Women's Health Clinic. Guess what? She's totally preggers - so she orders up one abortion - to go!!! Later, the whole gang is getting together one last time by the lake...and tensions are growing between Wheels and Snake. Snake is all pissy cause Wheels spent his whole summer drinking beer and working on his shitty car. Their argument includes some un-Degrassi-like words such as "shit" and "asshole." They actually come to blows, and Lucy takes Wheels outside for some air.
Things go from bad to worse when Snake accuses Joey of "fucking" Tessa while dating Caitlin...just as Caitlin walks in! What happens next is the best Degrassi line ever...

"Tessa Campanelli? You were fucking Tessa Campanelli?" CLASSIC!

Things continue to spiral outta control when Snake has to put his lifeguard training to the test to rescue Allison Hunter (Sarah Holmes) from drowning just as Wheels puts his drunk driving to the test - killing a small child and putting Lucy in critical condition! Holly shit!
Wheels winds up in prison for vehicular manslaughter and Lucy ends up blind in one eye and walking with a cane (as witnessed in the premiere episode of DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION). The whole story winds up months later at the wedding of Alexa Pappadopoulos (Irene Courakos) to Simon Dexter (Michael Carry). Not attending are Wheels, Lucy and a few others. Snake shows up at the wedding with his new girlfriend, Pam.

At the reception, Snake's future-wife Spike (Amando Steptoe) mentions to Caitlin that her daughter Emma is now in pre-kindergarden (setting the stage for Emma to become one of the central characters in DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION in 2001). The film ends with Joey asking Caitlin to dance. Awww... What a totally enjoyable and satisfying conclusion to the series and the perfect bridge to the next series. I cannot recommend this highly enough to Degrassi fans everywhere. And if I need to remind you why, there's always this...

The End.

Mary Marvel Copies a Cowboy?

In addendum to my look at SHAZAM & ISIS, I recently came across this interesting comic book fashion advertisement from the 1940s starring a very butch Mary Marvel.All these clothes are guaranteed washable! Shazam!

Ellie Greenwich 1940-2009

More Found HORIZON

Following up on my post from last Tuesday and also posted on Hello There Cutie.In 1973 Disneyland Records released a kids version of the Lost Horizon soundtrack, disguising the much-maligned Burt Bacharach/Hal David musical as a It's a Small World knock-off. I, for one, find the songs cute and charming. They also added in songs from other musicals to round out the album. It is now my mission to hunt down this rare gem.

The Return of The Doom Patrol!

One of my favorite DC Comics superhero teams, The Doom Patrol recently returned to the DC Universe. The Doom Patrol first appeared in My Greatest Adventure #80 (June 1963).

The team was created by writer Arnold Drake (who also wrote the screenplay for the awesome film WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR?) and artist Bruno Premiani. Some have noticed that a few similarities exist between the Doom Patrol and Marvel Comics' X-Men. Both teams first appeared in 1963 (X-Men #1 debuted three months after the Doom Patrol), both feature misfit superheroes shunned by society and both are led by men confined to wheelchairs.The first Doom Patrol consisted of three super-powered rejects: Robotman (Cliff Steele), Negative Man (Larry Trainor), and Elasti-Girl (Rita Farr). The Chief (Dr. Niles Caulder) assembled the team to use their powers to combat evil. The series was such a success that My Greatest Adventure was retitled The Doom Patrol beginning with issue #86. Beast Boy, later a Teen Titan, was a junior member of the team and his father, Mento also became part of the mix.The series was eventually canceled in 1968, and Drake chose to kill the entire in the final issue, Doom Patrol #121 (September 1968).Writer Paul Kupperberg, and artist Joe Staton introduced a new team in Showcase #94 (August 1977). It was revealed that a woman named Arani Desai, had married Niles Caulder previously and when she found out that was killed, she recreated the Doom Patrol. New members were feisty Russian cosmonaut Valentina Vostok, who became Negative Woman; and Tempest aka Joshua Clay. It turned out that Robotman was the only survivor of the explosion that killed his teammates, and Dr. Will Magnus of Metal Men fame built him a new body. This new team followed its three-issue Showcase run with a series of guest appearances in various DC titles.In the early 1980s, Robotman appeared in the Marv Wolfman/George Pérez New Teen Titans series, where he joined Beast Boy (now known as Changling), and the Titans in finally bringing the murderers of the original team to justice.
Comics superstar John Byrne drew Secret Origins Annual #1, published in 1986, which retold the origins of the two teams.
The series was soon relaunched, by Kupperberg and artist Steve Lightle. The team now included new members: the magnetically-powered Lodestone; psychic powered Karma, and a dude named Scott Fischer. After issue 18, Kupperberg left the series and an up-and-coming writer named Grant Morrison on the task of writing the poor-selling title.Celsius and Scott Fischer died before issue #18; Karma left the team to become a member of the Suicide Squad; the Negative Spirit left Valentina's body; and Lodestone was placed into a coma, where she would remain for many issues. Tempest became the team's physician.Morrison took a throw-away character from issue #14, Dorothy Spinner, an ape-faced girl with powerful "imaginary friends" and made her a member of the team.Other new characters included the multiple personality-afflicted Crazy Jane and Danny the Street. Morrison's Doom Patrol incorporated bizarre secret societies, elements of Dada and surrealism. With all this weird stuff, the series quickly gained a cult following. Issue #53 was a wonderful homage to the creations of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
Morrison left the book with issue #63, and Rachel Pollack took over as the series became part of the publisher's more adult Vertigo imprint. One story featured a sexist supervillain character called The Codpiece who had a deadly device implanted in his crotch area. Characters in Pollack's run included Cliff Steele, Niles Caulder (now a disembodied head kept on a tray filled with ice) and the lovable Dorothy Spinner. New characters included The Bandage People, the Inner Child, the Identity Addict and the transsexual hero called Coagula. Pollack continued writing the title until its cancellation with issue #87, in February 1995.After appearing in a crossover series called The Silver Age, writer John Arcudi and artist Tan Eng Huat launched a an all-new Doom Patrol series, as the title returned to the DC Universe for 22 issues starting in December 2001.It was revealed that Dorothy Spinner had a mental breakdown and accidentally killed most of the team members. After falling into a coma she created a new Robotman, who became a part of a new Jost Enterprises-owned team. The team also consisted of new members Fast Forward, Kid Slick, Fever and Freak. Cliff Steele eventually returned and became a member of the Doom Patrol yet again.
In August 2004, DC launched a yet another new short-lived Doom Patrol series! After debuting in JLA, John Byrne controversially rebooted the series, eliminating ALL the previous Doom Patrol continuity. Retroactively eliminating Beast Boy's origins and all Doom Patrol appearances in other DC titles. Three new characters (Nudge, Grunt and Vortex along with JLA recruit Faith) were now part of the team along with the original four members. DC cancelled this series with issue #18.Thankfully, the events in DC's Infinite Crisis crossover were able to restore the Doom Patrol's full continuity, with inclusion of all previous incarnations. Two former members of the Teen Titans: Mal Duncan, now code named Vox, and his wife (Bumblebee) became members of this new Doom Patrol team.
Writer Keith Giffen's current revival of Doom Patrol promises to focus on the core members Elasti-Woman, Negative Man, Robotman and the Chief. Bumblebee is now eight inches tall. Nudge was killed in the line of duty and Grunt took off afterwards. No word on the whereabouts of Fast Forward, Kid Slick, Fever, Freak, Vortex, Faith or Vox. The current team operates out of the Oolong Island, a popular resort town in the DC Universe.