RHODA Returns!

In stores tomorrow: our good friends over at Shout! Factory bring us Season Two of RHODA, the popular MARY TYLER MOORE spin-off created by James L. Brooks and Allan Burns. At the request of fans, this season's collection is completely remastered and features all 24 full length episodes!

Guest stars in this season include both John Ritter and Norman Fell , Vivian Vance, Joan Van Ark , Ruth Gordon, Eileen Heckart, Melanie Mayron and Tim Matheson.

It's really good to see our old friend Rho again. And if you are the first reader to correctly answer the trivia question at the bottom of this post, you can WIN your very own copy of RHODA Season Two! UPDATE: We already have a winner!The character of Rhoda Morgenstern first appeared in 1970 as Mary Richards' frumpy and sharp-tongued upstairs neighbor. Since saying to Mary, "Hello, get outta my apartment", Valerie Harper's portrayal has always been one of our favorite TV neighbors. RHODA begins with our heroine returning home to New York after living several years in Minneapolis (where it's cold and she figured she'd keep better).  By the time Rho moved back home, she had lost weight and now dressed in designer duds. The brilliant Nancy Walker and Harold Gould recreated their MARY TYLER MOORE guest roles of Ida and Martin Morgenstern, joining newcomer Julie Kavner as Rhoda's younger, frumpier sister Brenda, a bank teller. (Ignoring Rhoda's other sister - who got married in Episode 75 of MARY TYLER MOORE - which also featured Bret Somers as Rhoda's Aunt Rose).

Ida and Martin were typical Jewish parents. Ida was outrageous, overbearing and manipulative – and she covered her furniture in plastic! And Martin was Rhoda's sweet, dutiful father.

In the very first episode of RHODA, we meet Joe Gerard (the sexy, swaggering David Groh), who seven episodes later would be her husband! The classic hour-long episode "Rhoda's Wedding" aired on October 28, 1974 and featured guest turns by the gang from Minneapolis.

In addition to Mary, Lou Grant (Edward Asner), Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod), Georgette Franklin (Georgia Engel), and Phyllis Lindstrom (Cloris Leachman) all attended the wedding - winning huge ratings in the process.
After the wedding, Rhoda returned to her career as a freelance window dresser by starting her own business called "Windows by Rhoda" with her old high school friend Myrna Morgenstein (the underrated Barbara Sharma).

Like many 1970s marriages, Joe's and Rhoda's did not last, nor did her career as a window dresser. By season 4, Rhoda was divorced and working at a costume company. Perhaps in an attempt to make RHODA different than MARY TYLER MOORE, they may have married her off too soon - and then when they ran out of story ideas for newlyweds - they split them up!

Viewers were unhappy and abandoned the show in droves. What started out a promising run ended mid-way though the show's 5th season when CBS pulled the plug on the show.
Valerie Harper and Mary Tyler Moore were eventually reunited as Rhoda and Mary in an excruciatingly painful two-hour TV-movie for ABC on February 7, 2000. The less said about it, the better.

Valerie received 4 Emmys playing Rhoda, 3 for the MARY TYLER MOORE show and 1 for RHODA in 1975. Julie Kavner also received an Emmy for her supporting role in 1978. RHODA also received two Golden Globe Awards (one for Valerie and the other for the show itself) in 1975.

TRIVIA QUESTION: What was the name of Rhoda's other sister? UPDATE: The answer is "Debbie".

"Baby June" Havoc 1913-2010

Dick Giordano 1932-2010

Robert Culp 1930-2010

PRETTY Season Finale

PRETTY, the web series that I produced through my company, Velvet Candy Entertainment reaches it's season one climax...and you can watch all the drama right here or at prettytheseries.com

87% of Criswell's Predictions Have Come True!

The Amazing Criswell (1907-1982) was a psychic who was famous for his bizarre and inaccurate predictions...even though the back of his book claims that 87% have come true! Criswell also became famous for appearing in a few films by Ed Wood including the classic PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959), and the unwatchable  ORGY OF THE DEAD (1965). Criswell as also immortalized on screen by actor Jeffrey Jones in the brilliant Tim Burton biopic, ED WOOD (1994).
So, he may have predicted that Reagan would be governor of California and that JFK wouldn't finish his first four years in office–but he also claimed that Denver would be destroyed by aliens, Fidel Castro would be assassinated and there would be HOMOSEXUAL CITIES!!! Yee-haa! (He also prophecized that the world would end on his 92nd birthday - August 18, 1999 - but, sadly, he died when he was only 75).

That's right, HOMOSEXUAL CITIES near Des Moines and Columbus! "Perversion will parade shamelessly" - did that ever happen? Oh yeah, they cities "will be complete with stores, churches, bars and restaurants which will ...(have)...organized orgies"! Wow, Criswell - maybe bars - but ORGIES in stores, churches, and restaurants?! It sounds like a uber-gay version of Walt Disney's original plans for EPCOT. Oh, Criswell if only you were 99% accurate...

PS- The Onion A.V. Club ran a great piece on Criswell back in 1999. Check it out.

Spring is in Vogue

Let's welcome in the season with this VOGUE magazine cover from March 1960 -  FIFTY YEARS AGO!!!

Fess Parker 1924-2010

My "Secret Origin" retold

A while back, someone asked fanboys (of which I guess I am) on the DC Messages Boards to recount their "first time" -meaning their first encounter with comic books. Here at last -because YOU demanded it- I've decided to recount my "secret origin".
I was about 6 or 7 years old - 1970 or 71 and my family was visiting our cousins who lived on Long Island. I was bored with sitting around eating Italian pastries and listening to the adults gossip, so wandered into the basement to find something fun to play with (like my cousin Teresa's awesome Barbie collection). Only this time I found a small cardboard box full of DC Comics. These were the first comics I ever saw. Ever. I remembered they were from the 60s cause of the black & white checkerboard across the covers. As I dug through the pile - my eyes grew wider and my heart raced. Of course I knew who Batman, Superman and Aquaman were from TV, but this was my very first exposure to Green Lantern, Plastic Man, Flash and what was this - THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA??? What the...??? Who are all these other guys who are friends with Batman AND Superman - Hawkman, Atom, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter??? It was like I discovered pizza and Christmas all at once. Unfortunately, my aunt or uncle (don't exactly remember which) quickly took the box from me, claiming that they belonged to my cousin who was away in Viet Nam at the time. Everytime I went back to that house, I asked to see that box of comics and they either denied it's existence OR told me that my cousin took them when he came back from the war. What's up with that?

Years later, as an adult I asked my cousin about the comics. He told me they were probably still in that basement and his parents just didn't want me to see them. To this day it baffles me, and makes me wonder why adults would want to deprive a child of something that I was obviously very interested in. I never forgave my aunt & uncle for that, and probably never will. All I ever wanted to do was escape for a little while and enjoy the treasure that I had discovered.

My aunt and uncle are both long gone, but when I do think of them I remember those comics. But at least now I knew who the JLA were - and there was no turning back. Within a year or two I was buying my own comics, not only JLA - but lots of others (including Marvel!)...and I still am. I'm proud to say that I've never hidden my comics from my nephews, but then again the younger generation seems to have no interest in comic books, which saddens me somewhat - but also makes Uncle Doug's "hobby" all the more special.

Moonlight in Mayo?

Was this float sponsored by Hellman's? Was it made of mayonnaise? Was it representitive of the Mayo Clinic? Who can say?

COACH

This warm Summer-like evening has brought me back to a time when you could find deliciously bad movies on network TV. COACH is one of those movies. Not to confused with the dreadful ABC sitcom of the 90s, COACH (1978, directed by Bud Townsend) is a dreadful PG-rated sexploitation film from my childhood. I remember watching (a surely edited-for-TV version of) it on the CBS Wednesday Night Movie and then talking with my Catholic school friends the next day about how great it was. THAT'S INCREDIBLE's perky Scientologist icon Cathy Lee Crosby stars as Olympic track & field champion Randy Rawlings, who leaves her job as an instructor in a 1970s equivalent to "Curves" to coach a boys basketball team at a private high school.


The movie opens with a soundless montage of Cathy running track, until she bursts through the finish line and steps up to receive her Gold Medal as The Star-Spangled Banner plays. (It's public domain, so no royalty fees like that pesky Olympic music). Meanwhile, in the sleepy town of Granger, Keenan Wynn (or was it Denver Pyle? - I always get those crazy old coots mixed up!) is perplexed by his grandson's high school basketball team and their perpetual losing streak. So Keenan gets the schlep-y, non-athletic looking coach fired and selects his replacement through some amazing futuristic "computer" program. The computer determines that the Olympic track star Randy Rawlings has just the right qualifications. When Randy arrives, Western Union telegram in hand, everyone discovers that this star athlete is a woman!!! Not only that but, a sexy, liberated, blonde woman who doesn't own a bra! Prevented from firing her due to certain newly-passed anti-discrimination laws, Randy is given a chance to turn the teen-age losers into winners. But her job hinges on delivering a perfect season. If the team loses even one game, shes out on her sexy tight ass! Keenan later instructs his grandson to give her nothing but trouble.

Well, the boys (well, I'll call them "boys" despite that the actors look to be about mostly in 25-35 years old range) at Moose Knuckle High (according to our friend John W., a "Moose Knuckle" is the male equivalent of "Camel Toe"), don't take to kindly to having a woman coach, and they berate her with sexist remarks and gestures. She's the CTLF ("Coach They'd Like to Fuck"), but they don't want her telling them what to do. Always a pro, our Randy ignores their shenanigans and tells them she's there to kick some ass. She's even wearing an outfit that looks like her WONDER WOMAN costume from the aborted 1974 TV-movie pilot.

The team is a bunch of freak and geeks who don't have a clue how to win. There's the bookish nerd with glasses, the lanky scarecrow, the black guy, the albino with a receding hairline, the mildly-retarded rich kid and of course the school stud, Jack (future TERMINATOR star Michael Biehn), her star player and future sex partner. She earns the boys' respect by walking in on them while they are all naked in the shower and turning off the hot water, and forcing them stay under ice cold water for a minute. She learned this from her former coach, Alberto Gonzalez.

Then she proceeds  to "coach" them by bringing in her superstar NBA buddy (or drug dealer) to teach the guys some professional moves. Before you know it, the team is playing better and Jack is playing WITH Randy's boobs! Never mind that's he's supposed to be like 17 and she's at least 35...and the fact that she's abusing her role as an adult in charge of  "kids" by having sex with one of them. This issue never even comes up, as she and Jack fall in love through a series of montage images set to cheesy 70s music. Soon the rest of the boys grow to like Randy. Why they even let her join them in the "Hey Lahdy Lahdy" sing-along on the team bus.

Meanwhile, there's an embarrassing and tedious subplot involving hypnosis, and how the boys are able to help get their gawky teammate to get better grades and play better ball whenever he hears the word "Jabberwocky". When Randy finds out about it, she tells the boys that if he can play like a pro under hypnosis, he can do it without it! But later when the team is losing a big game, she leads the entire gymnasium in chanting "Jabberwocky" so they can win. So basically, she sends the message that's it's okay to cheat. Great coach, what's next, steroids?

For a PG-rated film, we see plenty of flesh, including at least 4 pairs of females nipples (when co-eds flash the boys at a dull house party), a bunch of naked male butts (during the shower torture-scene) and lots of moose knuckles in satin shorts and tight jeans. I give this one 6 outta 10 just for it's spunkiness. It's basically an ABC Afterschool Special about statutory rape, without the drama, moral judgement and legal repercussions. In other words, it's just good, clean fun for an cougar to bed one of her students!

CHICO'S ANGELS all over...again!

Dougsploitation is pleased to announce that his friends over at CHICO'S ANGELS have a hot new web series and you should check it out here.

CHICO'S ANGELS has been an underground cult hit on the Los Angeles theater scene for over half a decade. Their current stage show is titled Chico’s Angels 1: Pretty Chicas All in a Row and runs until April 18. The gals are getting all dolled up to solve another case and here's a tasty interview I did with them last summer.

CHICO'S ANGELS are Kay Sedia (the pretty one), Chita Patrol (the smart one) and Frieda Laye (the “friendly” one). These three glamorous ladies have been solving crimes, breaking hearts and making us laugh on stage for six years now–and there's no stopping them as they continue to skyrocket to fame as internet superstars.
Recently, the Angels filmed three mini-episodes to premiere exclusively on their Dotfilmz website.
Doug: Ladies, Wow! What can I say? I've been a fan for a long time. You all look spectacular. Thanks for being my first three-way, um interview.

Kay: Aye! don be so nasty all the tines!!
Frieda: Oh, that's called a manage a trough!
Chita: Hi and stuff!
D: Let's start with your look. Each one of you has a unique and individual style. Who was your inspiration?

K: Rosarita, from Rosarita beans.
F: I would have to say Farrah Faucett & Goldie Hawn in a paintball fight with Cleopatra Jones.
C: All the sexy Latinas that came before me.

D: I've noticed that all good things (and some bad things) come in threes. Angels,

Brady children of the same sex, Star Wars movies, etc. Did you ever consider have a fourth Angel? If so, who?

K: Only if she's fat and has no chi chi's so that Chita doesn't feel so lonely.
F: Well, there my sister Juana Laye, but she's too mush of a slut to work with us.
C: No way, I can barely put up with the other two!D: With you three appearing all over Hollywood lately, any celebrity crushes or on-set romances to report?

K: Crushes? I prefer Fanta.
F: Aye jes, I always had a thing for Jason Statham, Huge Jackman and Cantinflas.
C: I'm in love with ...... What's today?....oh yeah.....Jake Gyllenhal.

D: As Latina role models, is there any advice you can give to young chicas out there?

K: Make chure it's tight and shiney!
F: Learning to talk Enlitch good, 'cause the peoples will judge ju and think ju don't know nothing.
C: Use a Sharpie #4.

D: I just noticed that your initials add up to KFC - is that an happy accident?

K: No accident, were a bunch of breast , thighs, and dumstick (that's not misspell!)
F: Aye, no! ...but I can tell ju about accidents...
C: No, cause we're tender and finger lickin good!D: What can you tell me about your upcoming webisodes? Any juicy spoilers?

K: Lot's of shirtless men's! And me getting the boys!
F: I'm not allowed to say nothing, cause I signed a competency agreement, but I will say they sexy, sexy and action pack!
C: Kay getting the boys, I hate her!!
D: Any other places fans can catch the Angels? Any trade shows? Parades?
Supermarket openings? Tupperware Parties coming up?

K: I'm on the Garden Grove and Pacioma Tupperware tour at the moment. An ju can find me on my web site . Oh and in the basement of a Mexican restaurant doing our thing!
F: In addition to the webs, facebook, myspace and the chicosangels.com, I can be found around Santa Monica & Orange depending on the hour.

C: The show has been extended thru August 2nd. You better come or I'll kick you in the shins!
D: Ow, Chita! Okay - I will be there this weekend. Thanks so much for chatting with me, I hope the next time I see you gals will be on primetime TV - because I think you're all more talented that most of what I see on the boob tube these days.

K: Oh, ju chould see Chita wearing a tube top! So funny when et's around her knees!!
F: Aye, thank ju! Now tell me more about these boobs that are like tubes....
C: Thank ju! We hope to be spreading the Chico's Angels love all over the world!

The show's extended run goes until April 18th - with 2 Sunday matinees added on April 4th and 18th at 3:00pm Shows are Thursday and Sunday @ 8PM, Friday & Saturday @ 9PM. Tickets on sale here. Location: Cavern Club Theater inside Casita Del Campo Restaurant 1920 Hyperion Los Angeles, CA 90027

MORE ABOUT THE ANGELS:

Kay Sedia: Born in Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico, Kay is the youngest of 18 children and the prettiest of them all. Chico discovered her from an ad for girdles in the Penny saver Magazine. When not being chased by hunky hotties and creepy criminals Kay finds time to make a modest living selling Tupperware . Kay’s job title is detective/model/Tupperware sales lady, but any crime she uncovers is always by accident. Kay thinks of herself as voluptuous and the pretty Angel.
Frieda Laye: Fredida was born in what is known as La Frontera de Chihuahua, Ciudad Juarez Mexico, or as it's come to be known across the border, J-Town. Frieda was left under the door mat of a convent, Las Hermanas de la Madre Guadalupe de los Chavos. She realized that her destiny was to be one of Chico's Angels and that she was to use her special abilities to fight crime as a private investigator. ...and to supplement her income as a private dancer as well. Frieda is proud to be one of Chico's Angels, and while she may not have the brightest halo, it is the blondest.

Chita Parol: She was born in East Los Angeles, California as a first generation Mexican/American. As the smart one, and angry about it, Chita keeps focused on the job, except for those small moments, far and in between, where she gets to shine. She never seems to get the guy, mainly due to her anger management issues. She’s working on that, and getting better. Now she only hates everyone just a little bit. Chita fancies herself the pretty one.

Peter Graves 1926-2008

PRETTY Bloopers

While we await the Episode 5 Season Finale...here's some silly stuff from out new web series hit, PRETTY...

ALICE SWEET ALICE

Here's a Friday flashback to a post from 2007. Recycling is good for the blogosphere!
ALICE SWEET ALICE (1976), directed by Alfred Sole was originally released as COMMUNION but returned to theaters two years later to cash on the fame of child-actor Brooke Shields. The film is set in 1961 for some reason and has many references to JFK, Jackie and even to PSYCHO. It's also known as HOLY TERROR - but I'd like to rename it PROBLEM CHILD: THE BEGINNING.

The film opens with some real groovy titles - then we visit a rectory where a hunky priest named Father Tom (Rudolph Willrich) lives. Single mom Catherine Spages (played by Jackie Gleason's daughter Linda Miller) and her two daughters Alice (19 year-old LIQUID SKY actress Paula Sheppard playing a prepubescent teen!!!) and Karen (a very young Brooke Shields) are paying a visit.

Angelic Karen will soon make her first holy communion, and the sexy priest gives his late mother's crucifix to her as a gift. I sense some sexual tension between Catherine and Tom. Karen's bratty sister Alice is jealous, and wanders about the rectory - scaring the wacky Italian housekeeper Mrs. Tredoni (Olympia Dukakis lookalike Mildred Clinton) with a really creepy Halloween mask.
Later Alice (who sort of resembles the Downs Syndrome girl "Jill" from the infamous menstruation education film ALL WOMEN GET PERIODS) is seen terrorizing Karen by abusing her toys and locking her in a room. Mom Catherine doesn't seem to react to her daughter's morbid hobbies, possibly because she's distressed about her failed marriage. Things soon go from bad to worse when Karen is strangled at her first communion - by a stranger in a yellow rain slicker and Halloween mask! And I thought vomiting at MY first communion was bad! (This is true - I threw up and they thought I was possessed!)

After Karen is killed, her body is stuffed into some sort of bench, her crucifix is stolen and then her corpse is set on fire with a church candle. Jeez! Where was the Catholic League when this was released???

When Mother Superior sees smoke, she opens the bench and screams - attracting the attention churchgoers including Catherine and her meddling sister Annie (the very effective Jane Lowry). A funeral follows and Catherine's handsome
ex-husband Dom shows up to help. Annie decides to stay with Catherine to help her through this difficult time and to attempt to discipline Alice, who has only gotten more bratty since Karen's murder. Alice then recruits her chubby cousin Angela to taunt the reclusive and extremely overweight landlord Mr. Alfonso (possibly the most disgusting character since Divine played his own rapist in FEMALE TROUBLE). Suffice to say, people who piss themselves should NOT wear white!

Dom begins to work with the cops to solve his daughter's murder, and tries to call Father Tom, but Mrs. Tredoni interferes, with the intention of protecting the priest from getting too involved. Tom later tells Dom that the police suspect Alice is the killer. Back at the Spages' home Alice drops a bottle of milk and Aunt Annie has a shit fit and tells her it's time to go back to school. Alice then puts on her yellow slicker and pays Mr. Alfonso and his cats a visit. After she wrinkles the rent check, Mr. A. tries to feel her up - she responds by picking up one of his cute kitties and throws it across the room, killing it. What a little bitch!I sure hope the Humane Society was there for that scene!

We see that Alice has built an altar in the basement - where she has candles, her mask, her raincoat, a two-face doll, ballet sleepers and other assorted creepy items. This girl needs therapy in a big way.

Aunt Annie heads out during a storm, but as she walks down the stairs she is suddenly attacked by a masked figure who stabs her repeatedly in her legs and feet. She fights back as best as she can, yelling out Alice's name and attracting Mr. A as a witness. Catherine finds her sister lying in a pool of blood on the sidewalk just as Dom and Rev. Tom drive up. Good timing, guys!

Later at the hospital, Annie tells her milquetoast husband Jim that Alice tried to kill her. Soon Alice is taken in for a lie detector test. She kinda fails when she tells the cops that she saw KAREN attack her aunt. Huh? Karen's dead...I think. Another disturbing scene follows when two cops discuss Alice's breasts. What the fuck - she's supposed to be like 11 or 12. We later learn that Alice has has her first period. This IS just like the Jill video - except Jill doesn't kill anyone from what I remember.

Catherine and Dom are convinced that Alice is innocent - Catherine thinks Annie just wants to pin it all on Alice because she has always hated the born out-of-wedlock child - and Dom thinks Angela (Annie's daughter) is the slasher. Sparks begin to reignite for the divorced couple, until a phone call from his new wife serves as a cold shower for Dom. Dom then receives a suspicious call from Angela. But the voice on the phone is an adult's - and Dom doesn't notice. Huh? "Angela" tells Dom that she has Karen's crucifix and wants to meet him in an abandoned building. Okay... After believing for an hour that Alice was the slasher, I began to wonder just WHO the masked killer was. Could it be Catherine? Could it be Annie's husband Jim? Could it be Alice? Angela? The sexy priest? One of the cats? I'm stumped!

Dom arrives at the warehouse and is attacked by the slasher (wearing the Halloween mask and the yellow raincoat.) He is soon stabbed in the shoulder and then hit in the face with a brick. Dom is then tied up and pushed out of window. This is so not a good week for the Spages family!

Finally the slasher takes off the mask and is revealed to be...XXXXXXX!!!! HUH??? Wow - I did NOT see that coming! XXXXXXX declares that Dom and Catherine are sinners. During Dom's autopsy, they find Karen's crucifix lodged in his throat, apparently he tried swallowing it to keep it away from the killer. Thanks, we were wondering where that went.

It's soon time for Sunday mass. Alice first stops by Mr. Alfonso's apartment to put cockroaches on his stomach as he sleeps.
Nice. Meanwhile, XXXXXXX packs a knife in a shopping bag and stops by the Spages' apartment. Mr. A wakes up and spots XXXXXXX - and thinking it's Alice, he grabs the killer, who then pulls out her knife and stabs him!!! Well, that's one character I can live without.

Later at church, just as XXXXXXX is about to receive Holy Communion, the slasher pulls out the knife and stabs Father Tom in the neck. The priest falls on the altar and into XXXXXXX's arms. Chaos ensues. In the final shot, we see Alice as she walks away from the altar carrying the shopping bag. Then she pulls the bloodied knife out of it and stares blankly into the camera!!! SUPER CREEPY!!!!

What else can I say about ALICE SWEET ALICE? This movie is fan-fucking-tastic! 10 outta 10. Scary, funny, crazy, sacrilegious - this one's a keeper with or without little Brooke. Thanks to my buddy Mike for helping me recall some of the details on this one.