SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS

As I continually deal with my lack of free time to blog, I proudly represent one of my very first posts from way back in 2007.
So, imagine THE ODD COUPLE if Felix sometimes dressed in drag, had a crush on a hunky bi-sexual hippie Oscar and murdered every young woman who literally tries to unzip Oscar's snake-skin jeans. Well - that's what SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS is all about.

Set in suburban Miami, this 1971 campfest is full of slutty, horny stoned pizzeria waitresses and nurses with small tits and big Eva Gabor wigs who are trying to fuck Stanley (our sloppy roommate) and one by one, they disappear after his manly Aunt Martha pays them a visit.

You see, Paul is "protecting" Stanley from the police since he's convinced Stanley that he was responsible for killing Mrs. Johnson for her jewels. Paul has been disguising himself (with bad wigs, blouses, skirts, and orthopedic shoes) as Stanley's elderly Aunt Martha (but looking much like Stockard Channing as Rizzo), in an effort to hide from the authorities. The nosy neighbors (one who is very pregnant) are a constant annoyance to Paul - especially when they mention how attractive Stanley is.

Stanley, despite being a slob AND never changing his clothes ever (much like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character) - even though the film takes place over several days and nights - is very sexy. Paul, on the other hand, looks like the illegitimate child of Karl Malden and Judd Hirsch. Stanley, sadly never does get naked - though there are are at least three scenes where women attempt to get into his pants, but he freaks out.

Things veer off in several directions including subplots involving a blackmailing heroin junkie from Baltimore who becomes an unwelcome third roommate and several encounters with Stanley's group of beer-drinking, pot-smoking, coke-sniffing friends - one of which is totally buff and always shirtless (save for a little leather vest) and looks like Steve Perry from Journey.

There's a disturbing turn of events involving the pregnant neighbor and a predictable climax that takes place on (of all places) a movie set!!! MARTHA is a bit slow at times, but its blend of campy humor and horror shocks kept me interested despite the homophobic undercurrent. Directed by Thomas Casey.

If MARTHA is your cup of tea - you can purchase it from the incredible Five Minutes to Live website. Rating: 8 outta 10.