Wednesday, December 5, 2007


Today we bend the rules a bit here as my friend Danny reviews one of the worst (or best) Christmas specials ever - HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - Originally broadcast in syndication in 1985. Presenting for your holiday pleasure Danny's review...Funny thing is, when I watched HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL with a group of drunken, rowdy friends, we suddenly became peaceful and quieter than usual - and I didn't fast forward through this one at all!  It is a Christmas miracle!!!

The story goes something like this: "Orgazmo" went into a cockpit and accidentally launched He-Man's rocket into space. I think. So somehow, Orgazmo in the rocket ends up on the planet Earth. Once on our planet, he runs into two earth children who are about to get crushed in an avalanche, so he uses a spell to rescue them.  These two kids are named Miguel and Alicia. Two Latino children. At least, I suppose they're Latino, based on their names.  Let's see what their parents look like...(Click on photos to enlarge)How the hell did those two end up with those two kids??? Adoption? One thing I'll say for them, at least they kept their natural hair color.  Everyone else in this "movie" dyes their hair!  You can tell 'cause no one dyes their brows.  Anyway, He-Man's friend, "Sidekick Man", brings back Orgazmo and the two wetback kids. (I can say that - cause I'm Mexican!) But they get captured by Skeletor, who I thought was supposed to be a bad ass, but he turns all gay when a puppy licks his face - yeah, GAY! I can say that -cause I'm gay! 

Anyway, He-Man tries to save the kids, but then he's distracted by some sort of sex toy fair and spends some time trying out the equipment he's considering buying. Unfortunately, it's not strong enough to hold him, so he moves on. 

Meanwhile She-Ra (whom I had NO IDEA was He-Man's sister) spends a lot of time fighting a "Beast Monster", very imaginatively named, no?  So Then He-Man and She-Ra team up and save the day! They're really brother and sister?  But he's so much more tan and his hair is orangey-er... But they DO have the same brows. (Click on photos to enlarge)

Anyway, then every one in He-Man/Sha-Ra "world" gets together and celebrates Christmas  which we learn is about presents!!!...and something else too, but mostly PRESENTS!!!My favorites are the two gay guys on the left looking like they'ere just coming home from the Folsom Street Fair 2025.  I wonder what's in their Christmas packages...?

But, I wonder, do the people in the He Man Universe even have any concept who the baby Jesus is or anything of the sort?  Does it really matter? No!! Anyway, the "film" ends with the moral of the story, brought to us by Orgazmo and He Man's alter ego, Adam... "Your brows don't HAVE to match your hair. Am I gay, or what?"

Doug adds - this is beyond the "Huh?" scale - only watch it if you are stoned or Mexican or Gay or like TV shows based on crappy toys from the 1980s. Enjoy!

No comments: