Broom-Hilda

Here's a little post I ran last Halloween season on another blog, HELLO THERE CUTIE, about one of our favorite wacky witches in the world!Comic strip diva Broom-Hilda is a old hag in dire need of a makeover. With green skin, a wart on the end of her nose, and very stringy hair, she could use a bit of a Beverly Hills NIP/TUCK. She always dresses quite fashionably in a little black dress, and accessorizes with a flower on top of her hat. Hilda is rumored to be Attila the Hun's ex-wife(!) and is always unsuccessfully trying to land a new husband. Cougar. Originally Hilda smoked cigars and drank like a sailor, but she seems to have mellowed out a bit in her old age.In our world, Broom-Hilda is a classic newspaper comic strip that began on April 19, 1970. Created by Russell Myers (no relation to Russ Meyers) it is still distributed by the Chicago Tribune Syndicate. You can read the strip every day here.

Before there was RED RIDING HOOD

Here's a "classic" post from 2007.

First of all, if you don't like seeing animals injured or killed - avoid this 1984 film. Not sure if the humane society approved this film or not, but between the wolves, a cow, some pigs, a couple of frogs, a goose and a peacock...not a creature seems to go unharmed. And then there's senior abuses suffered by Angela Lansbury, who appears here as a twisted version "Granny" from SYLVESTER & TWEETY rather than loveable Jessica Fletcher or sassy Auntie Mame.

Here's the story: the movie opens in present day. A young girl in bad Baby Jane make-up has a creepy collection of dolls and stuffed animals. She's having a dream that she's gone "into the woods," where her older sister has just been slaughtered by a company of wolves. After they bury sis, the girl goes to live with her Granny - who decides to cheer up the tyke by telling her tales about werewolves. Charming. It also appears that the girl has either travelled back in time or joined a Renaissance Faire.

In the first tale, a young groom is about to bed his new bride when he summoned by 'call of nature'. I guess he had to pee. He never returns. Men! Several years later, he returns looking like Tina Yothers from FAMILY TIES. The bride has since remarried and has kids. Angered by this development, he rips his flesh off and slowly transforms into his werewolf form (a very graphic - but incredible sequence), but is soon killed by husband number two. Whew!

Then there's a boring subplot about a flirty village boy. Zzzzzzzzzz....

In Granny's second story, a strapping young lad meets the Devil and his disturbingly made-up female chauffeur (who looks like Jon Benet Ransey - forcing us to wonder if her parents saw this film and decided that their daughter should look like this character). The devil gives the boy a potion, which he rubs onto his hairless chest - and suddenly blooms into puberty ...and beyond!

Later, Granny has made a Riding Hood for the girl, who we might as well call Red.
The horny village boy harasses Red again, causing her to climb a tree, where she finds a birds' nest with eggs that hatch tiny figurines of fetuses. Huh? Next we are treated to a scene of a mutilated cow. Huh?

While the villagers hunt down the wolf, Red tells her mother a story that Granny told her. This tale is about a wedding party where everyone is transformed into wolves. Fun!

Later Red's father returns after the villagers slay the cow-killing wolf. When he presents the wolf's paw, it has transformed into the hand of a man!!! Of course they chuck it into the fireplace! Wonder what THAT smelled like.

Soon it is winter and Red is off to Grandmother's house once again (presumably for a holiday visit). On the way she meets a huntsman with a unibrow. (Granny always warned her about guys with one brow!)

Once Red arrives at Granny's house, the huntsman has done away with Granny (in an amazing scene - sorry Rob Herrmann), and is taking her place. Sound familiar? There is a final encounter between Red and the Wolf...followed by another tale. This one is about a girl who looks like Chaka from LAND OF THE LOST.

I will not spoil the ending, since I highly recommend this film (despite the animal and Lansbury abuse). Directed by Neil Jordan (THE CRYING GAME), the film is gorgeously shot, and the sets and special effects are wonderful.

I'll give it an 8 outta 10 because with it's mix of dreams, nightmares, stories within stories - it still gives you many reasons to scratch your head. Oh yeah, and Angela doesn't even get to sing! Wonder if Lucille Ball was behind that... (inside joke)

Witch Hazel & A Couple of Rag Dolls

Here's another vintage Halloween-themed post.CBS seemed to be the network that had the most and more frequently repeated animated Halloween specials. In the 1970s, CBS was also the home of Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Warner Bros., Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies characters, so it seemed pretty natural that a Bugs Bunny-themed Halloween cartoon would eventually air. Bugs Bunny was already a popular Halloween costume and starred in numerous Halloween comic books.In 1977 BUGS BUNNY'S HOWL-OWEEN SPECIAL debuted. This was not a new cartoon - in fact it was a "clip show" made up of 10 Bugs Bunny theatrical one-reelers.
Many of the shorts featured a scene-stealing character named Witch Hazel who Chuck Jones created in 1954 as an adversary for Bugs in Bewitched Bunny. Hazel proved so popular with audiences that she returned two years later in Broomstick Bunny and again in 1959's A Witch's Tangled Hare. A Disney character with the same named appeared earlier, but had little in common with Chuck's Hazel other than voice actress June Foray who voiced both. (Only after Bea Benaderet was unavailable to return for the second short).
Hazel also appeared briefly in 1963's Transylvania 6-5000 and then took on Daffy Duck and Speedy Gonzales in 1966's A Haunting We will Go. She later resurfaced in the dreadful feature Space Jam (1996) and in several episodes of WB cartoon shows.

Airing after Bug's annual outing was RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY IN THE PUMPKIN WHO COULDN'T SMILE - that's a mouthful! Ann & Andy were introduced to the public in 1918 and 1920 as storybook characters in a series of books written and illustrated by Johnny Gruelle. They made the leap to animation in the 1940s in three theatrical shorts. In 1977, a feature film called RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY: A MUSICAL ADVENTURE met some success - enough for former Bugs Bunny animator Chuck Jones to adapt them for television with June Foray (!) providing the voice of Ann! Is there nothing this woman cannot voice?!

This special continued to air on CBS for a few years, and later on the Disney Channel.

Having never seen it, I'd be interested to see what life Jones was able to breath into these ragdolls. For more on the history of Raggedy Ann & Andy go here and here.

THE FLINTSTONES turn 50...

In honor of the occasion, here's something I first posted a couple of years ago.

Presenting FLINTSTONES Bubble Club Fun Bath (that's a mouthful!) - which I guess was some sort of bubble bath potion that sold for 39 cents. This chlorinated soap was so powerful it even washed the ginger right outta Pebbley Poo's red locks and made her into a bleach blonde!Well, Pebbles seems to be having a gay old time while the world's strongest infant, Bamm-Bamm merely looks embarrassed - or like he just made some bubbles of his own. What's the most disturbing about this package is the SPECIAL PICTURE OFFER that is featured on the back of the box. What kind of perverted pictures are these bubble bath manufacturers foisting upon their customers? I don't know - but if the title of this book tells us anything...I'm calling Bedrock Dept. of Social Services.What was the witch going to do with all that jizzle anyway? And did Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm fill their buckets with it? THIS JUST IN - For those of you who think the above book cover is a fake, here's another edtion of the same book that I just found online: Apparently I'm not the first blogger to come across this oddly-titled children's book. Colleen Kane over at Baton Rogue is the New Bklyn blogged about it last year. She even pictures a THIRD edition of the book featuring a MORE GRAPHIC cover which shows the man-ish "witch" and Bamm-Bamm stirring up a bucket of green goo. Witch jizzle? Ewwww...To cleanse of palate of such putrid pre-historic pornography, here's something adorable...
Doesn't that just melt a wicked witch's jizzle-free heart? Also available on vinyl.As a friend of teen-age Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm, Bad Luck Schleprock would say, "Wowsie, wowsie, woo-woo."

This week in TV GUIDE

While continuing my spring cleaning, I came across a couple of great old TV GUIDE ads that happen to relate to some very recent Dougsploitation posts, so I decided to scan them and share them all with you guys. I've included links back to the posts in case you need to refresh your memories.

First up, the original ad for the broadcast premiere of THE STRANGER WITHIN. You can read my post about this TV-movie classic here. And you can purchase this made-to-order dvd from the Warner Archive Collection here.

Next, Dinah Shore welcomed the cast of RHODA to spend an hour on her chat show. For my piece on Season Two of RHODA go here. You can purchase RHODA directly from Shout! Factory here.

How's about an ad for the TV Premiere of the sexy Cathy Lee Crosby dramedy COACH? For my oft-repeated review go here.

 And finally, here's a little something for my buddy Phil G., the ad for the television premiere of H.P. Lovecraft's THE DUNWICH HORROR followed by a reprint of my review from a few years ago. Enjoy!

THE DUNWICH HORROR is based on a story by horror legend H. P. Lovecraft . This 1970 curiosity stars Sandra Dee (A SUMMER PLACE), Dean Stockwell (BLUE VELVET), Ed Begley (SR., not JR.), great character actor Sam Jaffe, and Talia Shire (Coppola).

Following the trippy-iest animated opening titles I've seen in a long time (with a fantastic musical score by Les Baxter), we meet Professor Henry Armitage (Begley) and two librarians Nancy (Dee) and another one. We also learn about The Necronomicon (?!) - an ancient book filled with mystical secrets. As they return the valuable book to its display case in the library, a young man named Wilbur Whateley (Stockwell) asks to see the book and Nancy readily agrees to let him —even though she was told how rare and priceless the book is! Armitage reappears and is annoyed at everyone, declaring the book needs to be put back in it's case. Wilbur states that there had once been another copy of the book belonging to his his great-grandfather, who had been hung and burned for practicing witchcraft. After this revelation, Armitage takes a sudden interest in the young Wilbur. Then they all go out for dinner. Bennigan's?

Nancy offers to drive Wilbur home after dinner. Once at the beautiful, yet spooky house, Nancy decides to snoop around (while Wilbur makes sure her car doesn't start). She knocks over some modern glass sculpture...then he slips her a mickey and Nancy falls into a deep sleep, dreaming that she's being attacked by some sort of tribe. This is the first of many ROSEMARY'S BABY - inspired nightmare sequences.

Things continue to get creepier as we meet Wilbur's cranky Grandpa (Jaffe). But there's still some fun ahead when a snobby Christian couple gets devoured by THE DUNWICH HORROR and when a security guard battles Wilbur in a BATMAN-like POW-fest that ends with someone impaling themselves. Oh yeah, and Nancy is offered up as a sacrifice in a Satanic ritual. The monster itself, doesn't appear til the very end, reminding me very much of SIGMUND (from...& THE SEA MONSTERS fame).

Sandra Dee once again plays the innocent girl who falls for the bad boy. Though Sandy gets to show a little flesh in the climax of the film this time. Dean Stockwell sports a very bad mustache and at times is mistaken by me for Mike Brady. Begley Sr. looks too much like a cross between Garry Marshall and Commissioner Gordon to be taken seriously, especially when he uses his red bat-phone! (Honestly - he has a red phone!) Sam Jaffe bears an odd resemblance to Whitman Mayo, who played Grady on SANFORD & SON and its various spinoffs. And yes Lloyd Bochner from DYNASTY has a small role.

Overall, I found DUNWICH to be a colorful treat for the eyes and ears. It may move a bit slow for today's horror crowds, but for it's style alone I give this baby a 9 out of 10.

THE DAYDREAMER Dreams Again

THE DAYDREAMER (1966) is a recently re-discovered obscure feature by *Animagic* inventors Rankin-Bass (of RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER fame). The film opens with a likable title song by recently deceased Las Vegas crooner Robert Goulet and some great Al Hirschfeld caricatures of the all-star cast.

After the song (in a live action segment), we discover it's 1801 Denmark and we meet pathetic Papa Andersen the shoemaker (commie "witch hunt" victim Jack Gilford) and his young son Chris (15 year old Paul O'Keefe of THE PATTY DUKE SHOW) - who we soon discover ALWAYS wears the same snug red polyester tights and suspenders, even underneath his nightshirt! Papa is visited by Elmira Gulch herself when Margaret Hamilton comes a knockin' looking for her shoes, only Papa's such a rotten shoemaker that they are not fixed yet. We also suspect that Chris' mom left Papa cause he's such a loser. Gilford, usually very charming, seems as though he's reading from cue cards here.

After Papa tells him of the legendary Garden of Paradise, narcoleptic Chris is visited by an animated version of the Sandman (voiced by Cyril Ritchard)- who tells him that in order to be happy and successful he MUST find the Garden of Paradise. So Chris falls asleep on a boat - and is transformed into an living, breathing Animagic character! Only it doesn't last too long because his boat crashes and he drowns. The End.

So Chris is dead, and The Little Mermaid (voiced by Disney sweetheart Hayley Mills) discovers his lifeless body. After her father (Burl Ives, phoning it in as Father Neptune) tells her that there's no hope for Chris, she makes a deal with the fabulously goth Sea Witch (Talullah Bankhead, giving Pat Caroll's Ursula a run for her money) who brings Chris back to life. They then swim around and the "Ariel" falls in love with the formerly dead boy. He tells her to fuck off cause he's just not into her, besides he's got a garden to find. So he breaks her heart and wakes up all wet in a boat.

Back in the real world, Chris next befriends an ugly duckling. But then he falls asleep again, this time falling in with two conniving tailors (voiced by Terry Thomas and Victor Borge) who are busy designing the Emperor's New Clothes. Chris and the tailors pull a fast one on the narcissistic king (Ed Wynn), but get exposed themselves when a little kid alerts the townsfolk to their scheme. Chris then awakens (in the real world) and gets arrested for poaching a duck!!!

In the most bizarre live action sequence in the film - Chris is tied up bondage style and dragged through town while singing a show tune about being unlucky while back-up dancers perform an elaborate Fosse-like routine around him. The scene MUST be seen to be believed!

So Chris falls asleep again, this time he meets up with Thumbelina (voiced by Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara). Thumby shrinks him down to her size and the two meet up with a Rat (Boris Karloff) who pimps her out to a Mole, who plans on marrying Thumby. Meanwhile, they find a dead sparrow and Thumby touches it and covers it with her sweater. Didn't she ever hear that children shouldn't play with dead things??? Disturbing. Following a musical number by bats - the dead sparrow comes back to life because of Thumby's sweater. Huh? Somehow the wedding doesn't happen and Chris learns the valuable lesson that "your size has nothing to do with your true happiness." Hmmm...that's not what all those emails in my in-box say...

So eventually Chris gets to his Garden of Paradise - where there are cotton candy trees, monotone peacocks, butterflies, blue marshmallows and the Tree of Knowledge!!! He is told (by an off-screen voice) that he must not eat EVER the blossoms from the tree. This story is starting to sound awfully familiar.

After pledging that he won't eat the blossoms, Chris does a little dance - and is visited by a horny and devilish version of himself. Of course Horny Chris convinces our hero to eat the thing. So he eats it and after a fiery apocalyptic finale - he's banished to The Land of Nothingness!!! Wakes then up in reality, where Papa is arrested and shackled to Chris. Papa saves them both by bribing the warden with his wife's wedding ring. Guess Mama Anderson's not coming back after all. We then learn that Chris grows up to become Hans Christian Andersen!!! Wow...I did not see that coming!

(Not sure if the above photo of Danny Kaye has anything to do with this production, but I'm including it anyways).
I was really hoping to love this film. After recently watching MAD MONSTER PARTY? for Halloween and looking forward to my annual viewings of their Christmas TV classics, Rankin-Bass usually can do no wrong. But I think the uneven performances and choppy storytelling really make parts of this unwatchable. They probably thought they were making the next WIZARD OF OZ or MARY POPPINS - but ended up making something that would alternately bore and frighten little kids, their target audience. I'll give this one 6 outta 10 on my scale mostly for the awesome bondage musical number.

Two interesting notes: In another WIZARD OF OZ nod, Ray Bolger has a brief cameo as The Pie Man. Parts of THE DAYDREAMER were filmed on location at the Denmark Exhibit at the 1964 New York World's Fair.

ELVIRA: Mistress of the Dark

While I'm still outta town, enjoy this repeat from last Halloween season.Ever re-watch a movie that you thought you loved and discovered that maybe you didn't love it after all. ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK is that kind of movie. I remember seeing it shortly after it was released in 1988 (directed by James Signorelli) and thinking, "Hey, this is actually better than I thought it would be." 20 years later, I'm thinking, "Hey, this is NOT actually even as good as I thought it would be the first time I saw it, when I thought it was gonna be bad!". Well, having said, it's not terrible. It does have it's comedic moments, mostly supplied by great character actors like Edie McClurg (most famous as Mrs. Poole on THE HOGAN FAMILY) and Pat Crawford Brown (now known as Ida Greenberg on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES).

The story concerns the curvaceous Elvira (Cassandra Peterson), a local TV horror hostess who dreams of playing Vegas. After she is fired from her job, she learns that the casino that she booked needs $50,000 upfront before they'll let her perform. Within minutes, news that her Great Aunt Morgana has died and has possibly left her an inheritance, gives her (and us) hope that she will make it to Vegas.

Buxon beauty Elvira drives cross country in her awesome convertible to Fallwell, MA (tee-hee), the most conservative town this side of Harper Valley. Once there, she meets the locals - all prim, proper and highly bigoted. What follows is an unending series of breast and penis jokes. Our busty goth gal soon discovers that she has a Great Uncle Vincent (which would have been great if Vincent Price played the part), who despises her as well. Turns out, the full-figured Elvira inherits her great aunt's decaying Mansion on the Universal backlot and a mysterious book of "recipes." Uncle Vinnie, who inherits nothing– is not amused.

Her creepy uncle goes to all sorts of extremes to get the book out of Elvira's possession, including hiring sleazy Jeff Conaway and some other goon to abscond it. Various subplots involving bosomy Elvira's crush on the local hunky movie theater owner (could he wear his jeans any tighter-or higher?), her "new wave" makeover of Aunt Morgana's dog Algonquin (poor thing!) and her titillating friendship with the local teens all play out as silly as can be expected. The voluptuous vixen is fun to watch at times, but her wisecracking "valley girl" schtick wears thin pretty quickly. McClurg's Chastity Pariah has a few great lines when a local outdoor fair turns into an orgy thanks to our little chesty witch.

Along the way, our ample heroine learns that she's inherited some magical abilities and can now use them to great effect. The climax of the film is the best part, as she is about to be burned at the stake by the townsfolk. I will not spoil it for those who have not seen it. Suffice to say, she makes it to Vegas in time to performing a Cher-meets-Divine dance number that includes some outrageous pastie twirling. Overall a very mixed bag, but fun to watch if your expectations are very low...low-cut and lowbrow.

Using my old "Huh?" scale - I'd give this one a 5 outta 10.

Cassandra Peterson herself gets a perfect 10 in my book. Her commitment to causes such as gay rights and animal welfare have earned her legions of fans outside of the horror movie world. Playing the same character in all sorts of media (TV, films, radio, music, theme parks, video games, comic books, etc.) for over 25 years, she has created a larger-than-life persona that continues to entertain new audiences internationally and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Check out her website for her latest appearances.

PUFNSTUF Revisited

Isn't summer supposed to be about reruns anyhow? Having just re-watched the PUFNSTUF movie, now that it is officially released on dvd, I've decided to repeat my original post from way back in 2007 (with some added extras!)Based on the smash hit Saturday morning kiddie series, PUFNSTUF brought the trippy Sid & Marty Krofft creation to the big screen in 1970. Hollingsworth Morse, who directed the TV series (and later many episodes of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD) expanded on the formula of bright colors, fast edits, sped-up film, and LSD-inspired musical numbers that made the NBC series so successful. To appeal to parents and gay men, they added Mama Cass Elliott and Martha Raye to the cast. Yay!This story begins with Jimmy (played by Jack Wild of OLIVER! fame), a young English runaway, frolicking near the edge of a river with his flute. Suddenly the flute comes to life and begins talking - naming itself "Freddie". It also transforms into gold and grows diamonds on it's um, shaft. Jimmy them hops aboard a beautiful magic talking boat that wants to take him out to sea. Of course, Jimmy decides to take "the trip"...not a drug reference in any way, shape or form.
We learn that this boat actually belongs to Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes - giving her performance 1000%), who then turns the pretty boat into a dark, evil boat (i.e. a "bad trip") that traps Jimmy! Jimmy somehow manages to escape from the boat and is aided by a magical go-go boot wearing talking dragon named Pufnstuf (sounding here like Huckleberry Hound) and two "cops" named Cling & Clang (don't ask). Jimmy ends up on the shores of Living island - where everything is alive!
We soon discover that Witchiepoo is after Freddie the Flute to impress Boss Witch (Raye) and her friend Witch Hazel (Cass) - who are coming to visit for an annual witches' convention! What follows are actually some terrific musical numbers- the best being the anthemic "Different" by Mama Cass and "Zap the World" (which sounds amazingly like the WONDER WOMAN theme song, also written by Charles Fox). Oh - there's also a scene with Jimmy in drag. Very, very disturbing. For that alone I give it 9 out of 10 on my scale.

Overall, not a great film for today's kids (who would not have a clue who or what Pufnstuf is), but if you grew up watching the TV show, this is certainly a curiosity worth checking out. I was actually not a big fan of the show - something about the mix of real people and oversize puppets interacting always freaked me out. I preferred my weekly Krofft dosage in human form like ELECTRA WOMAN & DYNA GIRL and DR. SHRINKER, thank you. Also, I was never really sure what Pufnstuf was supposed to be - he looked more like Mayor McCheese than any dragon I ever saw. I also had it in my head that the show wasn't made in Hollywood - but in some strange European country where things weren't quite right. Oddly enough, the shows were show right here in the San Fernando Valley.

Exhibit A: Do these this theme song lyrics make ANY sense? "H.R. Pufnstuf, Who's your friend when things get rough? H.R. Pufnstuf Can't do a little cause he can't do enough." I rest my case. Besides, characters are always singing the praises of Pufnstuf as if he's some sort of messiah, but he actually doesn't do much more than hang around and look creepy.On a side note, any true Cass Elliot fan should seek out this movie, since it was her only big-screen appearance. One wonders what would her career had been like if she didn't die so tragically young? Would she have made more films? Would she have become what Bette Midler eventually became? Would she have attracted legions of gay fans and made Disney films? Would she have hosted her own Sid & Marty Krofft variety series? Would she have played Mama Rose on Broadway? Or would PUFNSTUF become the high point in her post-Mamas & the Papas career? Sadly, the world will never know...

HBO's MR. SHOW did an excellent parody of the Pufnstuf called "The Altered State Of Druggachusetts". You can watch it here.