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This 1980 remake of the Al Jolson classic (first mounted on stage in 1925 and filmed 1927) is actually the fourth film version of the story. Here, following in the footsteps of MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY's Danny Thomas...
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and THE NUTTY PROFESSOR's Jerry Lewis...
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...recording superstar Neil Diamond takes on the demanding role of synagogue cantor Yussel Rabinovich (aka Jess Robin) and proves that he is not a triple-threat, or even a double-threat - just a threat.
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Interesting side note: this film was directed by Richard Fleischer, also known for Disney's 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA and the cult classic MANDINGO. Talk about range! 
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For 29 years, I've avoided this film, but something finally drew me to it - perhaps the spirit of multiculturalism that is in the air with tomorrow's inauguration or maybe a "bad movie" angel tapped me on the shoulder? Well, either way...bring on it, Neil!
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It would be offensive, if it wasn't so damn ridiculous. So Neil and his band are performing in front of an all-black audience, but the gig is over when someone in the audience notices that his hands are caucasian! A fight breaks out and everyone gets arrested. Luckily Neil's Cantor papa, Laurence Olivier (!) comes to bail him out, and then follows with the question of the day "It's not tough enough being a Jew?". Papa is upset that Yussel is going by the name Jess-denying his heritage and birthright. I think.
Next Neil goes to visit his Jewish girl, who, of course, is a Herbew teacher. It it turns out she's his wife - Rivka! We soon learn that his band has a gig in L.A., but Jess doesn't join them because of his responsibilites at the temple. After helping a teen prepare for his Bar Mitzvah, Neil sings Love on the Rocks...
and then he gets a call from his black friend (Bubba, played by comedian Franklyn Ajaye) telling him that a powerful producer wants to record that very song - the next day!
He tells Rivka that he's gotta go to L.A. cause he's gonna have a hit song. Talk about jumping the gun! What's Papa gonna say? Before Jess can tell Papa, about his L.A.trip, Papa satrts lamenting to Jess about a bad dream that he had in Jess leaves him and doesn't come back. Let the guilt begin! Then Jess tells him about L.A. trip and Papa has a crying tantrum- but Jess quickly cheers him up by singing Hava Nagila - the classic Hebrew folk song (translation: "Let us rejoice").
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So Jess books a gig opening for popular stand up comic Zany Gray - but his wife Rivka gives him a guilt trip over the phone. He starts his set by playing an harmonica and gets heckled by an audience member who calls him a "turkey". Harsh. Jess then breaks into a lounge-y ditty called Summer Love - suddenly his wife Rivka shows up! Like, she just jumped on a plane and knew exactly where to find him! She introduces herself to Molly backstage and asks her if they've slept together. Molly says he ate pizza, but didn't touch her. Rivka's pleased.
By the second song, the auidience is in his hands - he gets a standing ovation.
For just two songs? Highly unlikely. After the show, Rivvy (what he calls her) tells him she wants him to come home to NY to her and Papa - and they have the most polite argument ever filmed. She leaves, he stays. The next day Molly introduces Jess to her hairy friend named Tommy who she's planning on sailing to Mexico with. Jess gets jealous - leading to a calypso-themed montage of them falling in love. Through the montage, we learn that Lucie is just like her zany redhead mother after all - because she cooks him a ham! Oh Lucie!!!! They also attend a recording session, ride a bicycle built for two...
and then she puts a schmata on her head and holy lights candles just like Lucy in MAME during Open a New Window! They kiss. Then they do it. And just when things seem to be going good for Jess, Papa shows up in L.A.- at Molly's house- to give Jess a guilt trip! Oy vey! Jess introduces Papa to Molly - and he immediately starts crying! Again with the waterworks? "No, No!!!!!!!" he excalims and then he begins tearing at his clothing as the music swells. Apparently when a Jew tears at their clothes - they are in mourning. Who knew? Then Jess records a song called When Does Jerusalem Close? More like - When Does This Movie End????
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All this family drama causes Jess to become super cranky, and to make things worse we learn that Molly is pregnant! But before she can tell Jess, he takes off on a road trip – driving out into the desert until his car breaks down.
Then he hops on a bus to Laredo, Texas - missing his big chance to be on Zany Gray's big TV special. Oh well. Over the course of time Jess grows a beard, hitchhikes, smokes and wings up in a bar. A bartender (who I think is Charles Durning) asks him to sing You Are My Sunshine and the next thing you know he's on stage performing with a Honky Tonk Band. Still not jazz. Of course, Bubba miraculously tracks him down–without the help of Twitter. He tells Jess that Molly had his kid and named him after Charlie Parker. Jess then goes back to LA to see Molly and meet his bastard son. Wonder if the kid is circumcised? Hello Again soars.
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So, he decides to honor his father and returns to New York - then after 20 minutes of Hebrew songs-he tells Papa that they have to talk. I begin to wonder where Rivka is. So, on the day of atonement, all is forgiven and Jess performs America to standing ovation - including Papa and Molly. The End. I just wanna know two things: where's the promised jazz and...where the hell is Rivka?
5 comments:
Wait, so the Orthodox Cantor finds his son to tell him that he's had a bastard child??? Oy vey
x o
sherri
PS
Good translation on Hava Nagila...
Proof of how bad the Golden Globes are:
Nominated: Best Actor - Motion Picture Musical or Comedy (oh wait, maybe comedy is what it was nominated for...)
Neil Diamond as the Adulterous Cantor
Nominated: Best Supporting Actress - Motion Picture
Lucie Arnaz as the Shiksa Slut
-Amelie in SF
And my question, which is the same asked by Jess:
"What about THE GROOVE, man? I mean, we go on Zany's show tomorrow night! What about THE GROOVE?"
Well, I have another couple of questions, actually:
So are we to believe that the lovely Lucie (who is the only watchable thing in this abortion of a movie) just takes Jess back with open arms after he disappears for what, at least a year?
I mean, think about it: she must be in the first trimester when she tells Bubba that Another Rabbit Bit The Dust, and when Lucie is out on the beach with Charlie Parker, Jr. (NOT to be confused with Ray Parker, Jr.), we see that the tot is roughly six months. Uh, yeah, sure...you disappear, I have to send a psychic black comedic relief character all the way to Texas to find you, please, come back into my life, hug my child, and welcome back to Full Vaginal Privileges.
And yes, what of Rivka? I mean, yeah, she's annoying and beige and boring and Lucie's all sparkly and purple and 1980, but she gets the shaft from her husband of many years after TWO WEEKS?
And lastly, Doug my dear, WHAT ABOUT THE GROOVE?
Cuppla other thoughts:
Dude, Bubba was in Car Wash and Convoy...basically playing his signature role of Wacky Black Sidekick Filled With J.J. Walker-esque Wisdom!
One of the very few highlights in this film is Neil's crooning "Love On The Rocks" when he first arrives in LA. You may not ever understand the allure of Jess Robin, but that song and that song alone explains why Neil Diamond is a legend (albeit a lousy actor with a penchant for choosing terrible scripts).
Love, love, LOVE the floral hairpiece Lucie rocks at the very end of the movie, when she applauds Jess alongside the man who, just a year earlier, basically blamed her for every STD known to mankind.
I'll try to answer all the questions.
Sherri - no, Bubba his black friend finds him in Texas.
Laura - yeah, Lucie just takes him back, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. WTF? She's been raising the kid on her own without a job.
I guess it took Bubba a while to find him. Texas is BIG!
Rivka needs her own sequel - I'm just not satisfied with how her story just ended.
The Groove? The Groove is in the heart!
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