Diller Memories: THE FAT SPY

A special trip down memory lane with the late Ms. Diller from my 2nd post - way back in 2007!After recently reading Phyllis Diller's autobiography (brilliantly titled Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse), I have decided to seek out her rare appearances in film. In her book, Ms. Diller describes 1966's THE FAT SPY as "one of the worst things ever committed to celluloid, full of lousy jokes and terrible music." With a description like that, I just had to find it!

Well, I found it (via Netflix). I'm just not sure what to say about it. It's basically a beach party movie without Frankie and Annette and without much of a plot. But what it does have is love goddess Jayne Mansfield!!! Our favorite 50s sex bomb (that's right, Marilyn, you heard us). From THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT to THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD... from the TV-movie bio starring Loni Anderson to the awesome Siouxsie & the Banshees song "Kiss Them For Me" - Jayne has always been one of my special guilty pleasures. Phyllis describes Jayne as "overweight, hooked on pills and firmly on the skids." How could you NOT love that? Jayne was Anna Nicole before Anna Nicole was born!

Well, back to the movie. From what I can ascertain, the plot goes like this: there is some island, which is is supposed to be the fountain of youth. An annoying teenage band, The Wild Ones, and their girlfriends, descend on the island for a scavenger hunt — which pisses off the island's owner, who enlists his daughter named Junior(?) (played by Jayne), to evict the kids. Junior 's lover Irving (played by comedian Jack E. Leonard) is asked to "spy "on the rowdy teenagers hence the "Fat Spy" title. Ugh. Irving's twin brother Herman, (also Jack E. Leonard) and his lover, Camille Salamander (Phyllis Diller), also show up - looking for the fountain of youth. In between all this The Wild Ones manage to perform about 100 crappy songs. Oh yeah, and some guy drowns himself so he can live with mermaids!

Phyllis describes the filming of THE FAT SPY on location in Florida as being a nightmare. Between the heat, swarms of mosquitoes and production problems, she often skips over discussing this film and calls 1966's BOY DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER her REAL first film. (Much like how Carol Channing dismisses the LSD musical-comedy SKIDOO).

Any Phyllis fan should check THE FAT SPY out as a curiosity. A friend of ours recently played it at a party and said it became a great conversation piece - definitely a movie that makes you say "huh?". Directed by Joseph Cates. Rating: 7 outta 10 "huhs".

Diller Memories...MAD MONSTER PARTY?

A classic post from October 2008 in memory of Ms. Diller.One of my alltime favorite Halloween treats when I was a kid was when local channel 9 WOR in New York would broadcast MAD MONSTER PARTY? (the question mark is part of the title-who knew?) on their 4:00 MOVIE.This wonderful Rankin/Bass "Animagic" feature was released theatrically in 1969-but really found its legs when it was syndicated to local stations in the 1970s. It's cast boasts a who's who of movie monsters - Count Dracula! The Wolf Man! The Mummy! The Invisible Man! Frankenstein's Monster! Dr. Jekyll! Mr. Hyde! The Creature (from the Black Lagoon)! The Hunchback of Notre Dame! It! (aka King Kong) and Phyllis Diller! The only one missing was John McCain.Boris Karloff voices Baron Von Frankenstein - who assembles these characters (The Worldwide Organization of Monsters) to announce his retirement - and introduce his nerdy nephew Felix and shapely new creation Francesca to the group. Even as a gay kid, I knew Francesca was HOT! I wonder if Francesca was the visual inspiration for MAD MEN's Joan Holloway? Hmmm...With character designs by the great Mad Magazine cartoonist Jack Davis, and some of the best stop-motion imagery ever, MAD MONSTER PARTY? is an absolute must-see for animation lovers. While the story may now be a bit slow-moving, and not as clever as I remember it from my childhood - I'd rather sit through this than the more recent "monster mash" called VAN HELSING any day of the year.MAD MONSTER PARTY also features some great musical numbers...and come on, you gotta love Phyllis Diller - here a pic of me and my husband John with Ms. Diller at her lovely Brentwood home in 2008. She's was 90+ and still a hoot!

For more info about Rankin/Bass visit Rick Goldschmidt's enchanting blog.

THE FAT SPY

After recently reading Phyllis Diller's autobiography (brilliantly titled "Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse"), I have decided to seek out her rare appearances in film. In her book, Ms. Diller describes 1966's THE FAT SPY as "one of the worst things ever committed to celluloid, full of lousy jokes and terrible music." With a description like that, I just had to find it!

Well, I found it (via Netflix). I'm just not sure what to say about it. It's basically a beach party movie without Frankie and Annette and without much of a plot. But what it does have is love goddess Jayne Mansfield!!! Our favorite 50s sex bomb (that's right, Marilyn, you heard us). From THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT to THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD... from the TV-movie bio starring Loni Anderson to the awesome Siouxsie & the Banshees song "Kiss Them For Me" - Jayne has always been one of my special guilty pleasures. Phyllis describes Jayne as "overweight, hooked on pills and firmly on the skids." How could you NOT love that? Jayne was Anna Nicole before Anna Nicole was born!

Well, back to the movie. From what I can ascertain, the plot goes like this: there is some island, which is is supposed to be the fountain of youth. An annoying teenage band, The Wild Ones, and their girlfriends, descend on the island for a scavenger hunt — which pisses off the island's owner, who enlists his daughter named Junior(?) (played by Jayne), to evict the kids. Junior 's lover Irving (played by comedian Jack E. Leonard) is asked to "spy "on the rowdy teenagers hence the "Fat Spy" title. Ugh. Irving's twin brother Herman, (also Jack E. Leonard) and his lover, Camille Salamander (Phyllis Diller), also show up - looking for the fountain of youth. In between all this The Wild Ones manage to perform about 100 crappy songs. Oh yeah, and some guy drowns himself so he can live with mermaids!

Phyllis describes the filming of THE FAT SPY on location in Florida as being a nightmare. Between the heat, swarms of mosquitoes and production problems, she often skips over discussing this film and calls 1966's BOY DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER her REAL first film. (Much like how Carol Channing dismissess the LSD musical-comedy SKIDOO).

Any Phyllis fan should check THE FAT SPY out as a curiosity. A friend of ours recently played it at a party and said it became a great conversation piece - definitely a movie that makes you say "huh?". Directed by Joseph Cates. Rating: 7 outta 10 "huhs".

MAD MONSTER PARTY?

One of my alltime favorite Halloween treats when I was a kid was when local channel 9 WOR in New York would broadcast MAD MONSTER PARTY? (the question mark is part of the title-who knew?) on their  4:00 MOVIE.This wonderful Rankin/Bass "Animagic" feature was released theatrically in 1969-but really found its legs when it was syndicated to local stations in the 1970s. It's cast boasts a who's who of movie monsters - Count Dracula! The Wolf Man! The Mummy! The Invisible Man! Frankenstein's Monster! Dr. Jekyll! Mr. Hyde! The Creature (from the Black Lagoon)! The Hunchback of Notre Dame! It! (aka King Kong) and Phyllis Diller! The only one missing was John McCain.Boris Karloff voices Baron Von Frankenstein - who assembles these characters (The Worldwide Organization of Monsters) to announce his retirement - and introduce his nerdy nephew Felix and shapely new creation Francesca to the group. Even as a gay kid, I knew Francesca was HOT! I wonder if Francesca was the visual inspiration for MAD MEN's Joan Holloway? Hmmm...With character designs by the great Mad Magazine cartoonist Jack Davis, and some of the best stop-motion imagery ever, MAD MONSTER PARTY? is an absolute must-see for animation lovers. While the story may now be a bit slow-moving, and not as clever as I remember it from my childhood - I'd rather sit through this than the more recent "monster mash" called VAN HELSING any day of the year.MAD MONSTER PARTY also features some great musical numbers...and come on, you gotta love Phyllis Diller - here a pic of me and my parter John with Ms. Diller at her lovely Brentwood home last year. She's 91 and still a hoot!

For more info about Rankin/Bass visit Rick Goldschmidt's enchanting blog.

Diller Memories...HAPPILY EVER AFTER

In the wake of the two recent SNOW WHITE feature films, here's a little gem from 2008 - reposted for your reading pleasure!From the creative geniuses at Filmation that brought us the HE-MAN/SHE-RA CHRISTMAS SPECIAL  comes HAPPILY EVER AFTER (made in 1988 - but released in 1993) an animated feature that thinks it's a sequel to Disney's 1937 classic. With voice talent like Carol Channing, Phyllis Diller, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sally Kellerman and Tracey Ullmann - one expects to be in for a treat - or at least a camp classic. One should not have such great expectations.First off, the much-loved Dwarfs have been replaced here by a group of mismatched grotesque female trolls called (believe it or not) Dwarfelles (all idiotically named: Muddy, Sunburn, Blossom, Marina, Critterita, Moonbeam and Thunderella) and the fierce Evil Queen is replaced by her fey brother Lord Maliss (Malcolm McDowell, CALIGULA), who looks like every Scooby-Doo bad guy rolled into one. Jolly Dom DeLuise is the voice of the magic mirror, who recounts the entire plotline of SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS as this film opens. This is actually the best part.Meanwhile, cigar-smoking Scowl the Owl (voiced by Ed Asner) and a bunch of bats, rats and ogres are celebrating the death of the Evil Queen, when her shape-shifting brother arrives looking for his sister. The mirror tells him that the Queen is now dead and Snow White (Irene Cara of FAME fame) is to blame! He asks the mirror, "Who's the pretty boy she's with?" Hmmmm...Maliss (or Malice) then declares himself all fabulous and vows to "control the laws of nature and bend them to (his) will!"  Then he transforms himself into a big, blood-engorged red dragon and leaves.Scowl the Owl then begins rapping about being the "Baddest". And he's right. You have not lived until you've heard Ed Asner do hip hop. At this point I consider ejecting the dvd and using it as a coaster, but alas, it belongs to Netflix and not I. Meanwhile, because Evite doesn't exit yet, Snow White and her Prince are traveling on horseback to deliver invitations to the Dwarfs for their wedding. Maliss in his dragon form attacks them - first capturing Snow White, but the owl helps her escape. Maliss then tells the Prince that he "has something VERY special in store for him". I'll bet. ;)Snow White flees "into the woods", where the Dwarfs used to live, only they've gone "bye, bye" and their female cousins are now in charge. Each Dwarfelle (I can't believe I'm typing that word!) magically and inexplicably controls an aspect of nature - Muddy (Channing) makes earthquakes, Blossom (Gabor) grows flowers, butch lesbian Sunburn (Kellerman) controls sunlight and Thunderella (Ullman) manages the weather. They all report to Mother Nature (Diller). After we meet all the gals, Ullman warbles a horrible song that sounds like it was played on a Casio keyboard. Okay, I think I'm really done with this now, when someone I like is forced to sing a dreadful song - it's time to hit STOP.To be honest with you, the animation is so bloody awful, even worse than the usual Filmation crap , I could barely watch it. Every character seems like they were drawn in a different amateur-ish style and the unimaginative backgrounds and murky colors don't help at all. All-in-all a very feeble attempt at trying to fool audience into thinking that Snow White's story continues to unfold in this horrific way. So I FFWed. In the end, the troll women defeat the villain and Snow White and the Prince are reunited. Big surpise. They then invite all the Dwarfelles and Dwarfs to their royal wedding! And they all lived...well, you know what.If you have kids and want to punish them HAPPILY EVER AFTER is highly recommended. Otherwise, steer clear and watch any Disney original instead. FYI...Filmation also made A SNOW WHITE CHRISTMAS (though there seems to be no continuity between the two projects whatsoever).

Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

My favorite Republican Atheist has taken her final bow. Goodnight, Ms. Diller.

More Diller Memories - Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number!

God I loved this movie as a kid - a silly sex comedy with Bob as a nervous husband, Elke Somer (before her feud with Zsa Zsa Gabor) covered in bubbles and my favorite atheist Republican Phyllis Diller playing (essentially) herself. What a riot. What's not to love?

Apple Valley Inn

When I found this TV GUIDE ad, I had to find out more about The Apple Valley Inn.

The Apple Valley Inn opened on Thanksgiving Day 1948. This establishment was a hotel and restaurant built to attract wealthy land buyers to the southern California desert town of Apple Valley CA. The Inn, located on US Highway 18, originally allowed only white Christians as patrons, prompting legendary singer Pearl Bailey to purchase a ranch property a few miles north near Bell Mountain, establishing a small colony of black artists.

In 1965, white Christian movie star Roy Rogers and his white Christian wife Dale Evans leased the Inn and restaurant, which was then renamed Roy Rogers' Apple Valley Inn.

Bob Hope visited frequently, in fact Cabin #153 is dubbed "The Bob Hope Cabin". Other famous visitors (mostly white and Christian) included June Allison, James Arness, Gene Autry, MacDonald Carey, Bob Cummings, Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh, Phyllis Diller, Errol Flynn, Joan Fontaine, Billy Graham, Hedda Hopper, Louella Parsons, Jerry Lewis, Fred MacMurry, Dean Martin, Donald O'Connor, Gregory Peck, George Reeves, Dale Roberson, Caesar Romero, Jane Russell, Barbara Stanwyck, Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood, John Wayne, Johnny Weissmuller, Lawrence Welk and Jonathan Winters. Wonder how Atheist Diller and gay Latino Romero somehow snuck in. 

The Inn closed in 1987, reopening in November 2003 as a business center, with the main building converted into a brain injury rehabilition center.

THE MISMATCH GAME Returns!

Where else could you see legendary stars like Charles Nelson Reilly, Phyllis Diller, Ricardo Montalban and Shelley Winters interact LIVE on stage with today's top personalties Miss Piggy, Rosie O'Donnell and Jessica Simpson? Plus - throw Margot Kidder, Karen Black, Evie Harris and the Virgin Mary(!), into the mix - and it could only be Dennis Hensley's THE MISMATCH GAME!

With Your Host, Dennis Hensley, and All-Star Cast featuring (scheduled to appear) Tony Tripoli, Jackie Clarke, Felix Pire, Jack Plotnick, Tom Lenk, Maile Flanagan, Drew Droege, Willam Belli and Patrick Bristow! Plus you can be a contestant - and win prizes!!!

FRIDAY, JULY 24 - 8 PM • SATURDAY, JULY 25 - 8 PM • SUNDAY, JULY 26 - 7 PM
The Renberg Theatre • 1125 N. McCadden Place, Hollywood

Tickets $15 • Call 323-860-7300 • By tickets online here.

Married...With Christmas

After snuggling up with a cup of Rice Nog and a crackling fire to view a batch of old Christmas specials-I realized that there was actually a theme–they all were hosted by married couples! The first show in my mini-marathon was CAPTAIN & TENILLE: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW from 1976. For those unfamiliar with Daryl Dragon and Toni Tenille-they were a Grammy-winning duo who rose to fame with the instant pop classic "Love Will Keep Up Together," followed by a string of other memorable light tunes. They created quite a media sensation for a year or two. Little girls wanted their hair to look like Toni's and gay boys wanted to play with dolls that looked like The Captain.They were like a funkier version of The Carpenters, only married. As their fame grew, ABC awarded them with their own primetime variety hour which was highlighted by Toni's Southern charm and Daryl's "I didn't sign on for THIS" look in his eyes.This holiday-themed episode features an appearance by the very talented Pointer Sisters (back then it was four, later three-and now, sadly two) but to balance things out, the decidedly less talented Tenille Sisters also perform. The hour crawls by and we can't help feel sorry for the Captain, who never seems at ease when the camera is on him. Well, he must have gotten used to it because 30 years later, he's still performing Christmas with Toni! Love has kept them together!Next up I watched 3–count 'em 3–SONNY & CHER Christmas episodes. What can be said about Sono Bono and Cher Sarkissian that hasn't been said already? He was a talented Italian-American songwriter (the classic "Bang Bang") and she was a beautiful Armenian-American (among other things) singer with great comedic chops as well. Their marriage ended - and she became a solo superstar, cosmetic surgery disaster and gay icon, winning an Oscar ® along the way. He played a bigot in the original HAIRSPRAY, became a Republican senator and died by crashing into a tree on skis. Their daughter Chastity grew up and out to become a lesbian activist. The end.
Their first Christmas show from 1972 features guest William Conrad (CANNON, JAKE & THE FAT MAN) playing - who else? Santa! The highlight is an animated segment featuring the Three Dog Night song, "Black and White".For the second show, from 1973, Conrad returns, and there's another cartoon–this one set to Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground". There's also an entertaining medley of Christmas carols set in an old-fashioned Christmas village, with Cher singing an amazing rendition of "O Holy Night."
The third show in the trilogy is from 1976 after Sonny and Cher were divorced and the guests are Bernadette Peters, Captain Kangaroo and a certain duo we like to call Shields & Yarnell. These semi-annoying street mimes were discovered by Marcel Marceau (...or so the legend goes) and before you know it they were appearing on virtually every variety and talk show of the 1970s. Robert Shields and Lorene Yarnell thrilled millions with their act - creating several unique characters that at times won over people who normally who hate mimes (I have no scientific data to prove this). They even hosted their own semi-popular CBS series in 1977-78 - and appeared on the cover of Dynamite magazine!

In 1978 - the still-married duo (they divorced in '86) hosted NBC's CHRISTMAS IN WALT DISNEY WORLD, not to be confused with CHRISTMAS IN DISNEYLAND. 

This unbearable hour of torment features barely any cohesiveness and guest appearances by Avery Schreiber (as Gepetto), Phyllis Diller (a highlight, as always)and WHAT'S HAPPENING's Danielle Spencer (a low point-did this child ever learn how to deliver a line?). My advice to anyone who loves Disney: avoid this at all costs. I'd opt rather for 1966's DISNEYLAND AROUND THE SEASONS (available on dvd) or 1962's HOLIDAY TIME AT DISNEYLAND (rare and hard-to-find).So there you have it - an evening of Captain, Tenille, Sony, Cher, Shields and Yarnell. And once again, I've watched them all so you don't have to!

'Tis The Season of Variety!

Another 2008 post re-purposed for your holiday reading pleasure. Having a "day job" has really been a detriment to my blogging lately.After snuggling up with a cup of Rice Nog and a crackling fire to view a batch of old Christmas specials-I realized that there was actually a theme–they all were hosted by married couples! The first show in my mini-marathon was CAPTAIN & TENILLE: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW from 1976. For those unfamiliar with Daryl Dragon and Toni Tenille-they were a Grammy-winning duo who rose to fame with the instant pop classic "Love Will Keep Up Together," followed by a string of other memorable light tunes. They created quite a media sensation for a year or two. Little girls wanted their hair to look like Toni's and gay boys wanted to play with dolls that looked like The Captain.They were like a funkier version of The Carpenters, only married. As their fame grew, ABC awarded them with their own primetime variety hour which was highlighted by Toni's Southern charm and Daryl's "I didn't sign on for THIS" look in his eyes.This holiday-themed episode features an appearance by the very talented Pointer Sisters (back then it was four, later three-and now, sadly two) but to balance things out, the decidedly less talented Tenille Sisters also perform. The hour crawls by and we can't help feel sorry for the Captain, who never seems at ease when the camera is on him. Well, he must have gotten used to it because 30 years later, he's still performing Christmas with Toni! Love has kept them together!Next up I watched 3–count 'em 3–SONNY & CHER Christmas episodes. What can be said about Sono Bono and Cher Sarkissian that hasn't been said already? He was a talented Italian-American songwriter (the classic "Bang Bang") and she was a beautiful Armenian-American (among other things) singer with great comedic chops as well. Their marriage ended - and she became a solo superstar, cosmetic surgery disaster and gay icon, winning an Oscar ® along the way. He played a bigot in the original HAIRSPRAY, became a Republican senator and died by crashing into a tree on skis. Their daughter Chastity grew up and out to become a lesbian activist and is now in the progress of transitioning to become a transgendered man named Chas.
Their first Christmas show from 1972 features guest William Conrad (CANNON, JAKE & THE FAT MAN) playing - who else? Santa! The highlight is an animated segment featuring the Three Dog Night song, "Black and White".For the second show, from 1973, Conrad returns, and there's another cartoon–this one set to Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground". There's also an entertaining medley of Christmas carols set in an old-fashioned Christmas village, with Cher singing an amazing rendition of "O Holy Night."
The third show in the trilogy is from 1976 after Sonny and Cher were divorced and the guests are Bernadette Peters, Captain Kangaroo and a certain duo we like to call Shields & Yarnell. These semi-annoying street mimes were discovered by Marcel Marceau (...or so the legend goes) and before you know it they were appearing on virtually every variety and talk show of the 1970s. Robert Shields and Lorene Yarnell thrilled millions with their act - creating several unique characters that at times won over people who normally who hate mimes (I have no scientific data to prove this). They even hosted their own semi-popular CBS series in 1977-78 - and appeared on the cover of Dynamite magazine!

In 1978 - the still-married duo (they divorced in '86) hosted NBC's CHRISTMAS IN WALT DISNEY WORLD, not to be confused with CHRISTMAS IN DISNEYLAND.

This unbearable hour of torment features barely any cohesiveness and guest appearances by Avery Schreiber (as Gepetto), Phyllis Diller (a highlight, as always)and WHAT'S HAPPENING's Danielle Spencer (a low point-did this child ever learn how to deliver a line?). My advice to anyone who loves Disney: avoid this at all costs. I'd opt rather for 1966's DISNEYLAND AROUND THE SEASONS (available on dvd) or 1962's HOLIDAY TIME AT DISNEYLAND (rare and hard-to-find).So there you have it - an evening of Captain, Tenille, Sony, Cher, Shields and Yarnell. And once again, I've watched them all so you don't have to!