Monday, April 18, 2011

Why I Hate Birthday Parties

From 2009: I had only one damn birthday party when I was a kid...and my siblings mortified me during the "pin the tail on the donkey" portion of the festivities. I spent most of the party hiding under my grandmother's bed. If I only had this book back then...
I also hate the song Happy Birthday to You and refuse to sing it.
How many of these copyright protected characters can YOU name?

I had another birthday party when I was a teen for my 16th or 17th...
My parents actually allowed us to have beer! (But it was lite beer if I recall correctly).
Look at all these other great party books...
As an adult, I actually enjoy throwing parties-but never birthday parties. I like cocktail parties. My parents had a liquor cabinet that had the same bottles of booze in it for my entire childhood. They never once threw a cocktail party. They never had friends come over for drinks.
But they did have an absolutely groovy collection of drink mix guides for some reason. Maybe one day they planned on finally letting loose and enjoying the Nite-Life?
Maybe they wanted to be like the people in those drink recipe books.
Young, sexy, hip with not a care in the world. That would have been nice.
On a similar note, I used to fantasize that my parents were really Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson.Burt & Angie would pour each other glasses of Martini & Rossi and lounge around our Malibu home on the shag carpet and cuddle in front of the crackling fireplace on a chilly autumn evening.

Maybe Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme would come over one night to hang around the piano while Burt tickled the ivories. 

Or maybe they'd all go out on dad's boat.  How romantic. Ah - the glamourous life I could have had. Well I think we should all pour ourselves a nice glass of Martini & Rossi and "say yes". Just don't sing Happy Birthday to me.


Deep Dish said...

Burt & Angie, Steve & Eydie, now that's a groovy party I want to go to. Have a fabulous day, Doug!

laura weiss said...

I used to fantasize that my parents were really Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson.

And in one sentence, you managed to demonstrate why I love you so.

I used to dream that my folks were the Brady parents, or Buddy and Sally (but never Rob and Laura...I was such a weird kid). I wanted to have one of those great cocktail parties that the Petries always had with their fabulous showbiz friends and Millie and Jerry.


Birthday Cards said...

Your story is very interesting huh..

Danny in WeHo said...

I hope your Birthday was enjoyable!!

I used to fantasize that my mother and father were my mother and any man.

dark said...

I just had to do the Copyrighted Characters Quiz!

Captain Kangaroo and Bunny Rabbit
Batman & Robin (what looks to be the Saturday morning variety. Maybe Super Friends)
Yogi Bear
Huckleberry Hound "I was SO gay, but I couldn't tell anyone."
Road Runner
Three Little Pigs
Little Lulu
Donald Duck
Casper (or Richie Rich's ghost)
Charlie Brown
The Banana Splits (Fleegle, Drooper, Snorky and Bingo)
Mickey Mouse
Bugs Bunny
Lucy Van Pelt
Bozo the Clown
Fred Flinstone

There ya go. Happy Birthday!!