Thursday, September 10, 2009

Entertaining - Dougsploitation Style

I've been thinking about entertaining lately. I'm not sure if it's because of recent acquisition of my mother's old cookbooks and entertaining guides, or seeing JULIE & JULIA, or my little obsession with The Food Network, but something about the quickly approaching season of Autumn makes me want to entertain more than usual. I wonder if those old books can help me out...
Hmmm...I wonder what "The Surprising Difference" was? Let's see, Susie's a California blond in a yellow kitchen, talking on a yellow phone. Her yellow and orange apron matches the wallpaper behind her. She just finished frosting some yellow cupcakes and it looks like a gelatinous "St. Joseph's Aspirin for children" flavored bundt cake is on the counter in front of her. I would guess the "The Surprising Difference" is that the pot of coffee is the only non-citrus item allowed in her kitchen?
I know, not really funny.
Meanwhile, in the rec room downstairs, the triplets (Midge, Kitty and Bitsy) have invited a few cleancut young lads over to a) listen to records b) play the guitar c) dance d) stuff their faces at the buffet. Check out that sexy surfer poster on the wall!
Later that night, with the triplets already in bed. Susie dons her avocado evening gown (you know, the one that came with the matching candles) for a romantic dinner with - hey who's that dude? That's not Bill! Bill's away on a business trip with Uncle Stan.
Well, whoever that guy was - he stayed for dinner AND breakfast the next morning. Susie has baked some fresh muffins and poured some of that coffee from yesterday.
She had time to put her hair up and to give her gentleman friend a gift - a yellow sweater to match her outfit and the "muffin cozy" to a t!
Meanwhile, in a different time zone, Bill is making friends with a lady in red. Uncle Stan has found him a new friend too. These guys really know how to "enjoy the Lively Life!" while they are away on business. Wonder if they can put hookers on their expense reports? So what have I learned so far? Wear lots of yellow, always have a handy buffet nearby and if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
Thanks, Susie (and Stephen Stills).


Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Very cool site you've got here, Doug!

I realize that the times we live in are just too damned weird to focus any degree of attention on a rock 'n' roll band that released its final recording forty-years-ago last month - two of whose members are gone from our midst. Think about it. In 1969, at the height of all that was going on then, any columnist who would have devoted a entire page to the greatness of the Paul Whiteman Orchestra would have been laughed out of the business. But this isn't just any band we're talking about here. With the exception of the President's address to a joint session of Congress last night, I didn't spend much time yesterday focusing on affairs of state. September 9, 2009 belonged to the Beatles.

Yesterday marked the long-awaited release of a box set containing all fourteen albums recorded by the Fab Four between the years 1962 and 1970. What makes this package different from what has previously been available is the fact that the engineers at EMI (the studio in London where they did most of their work) have digitally remastered the recordings from the original multi-track tapes. It was like listening to them for the first time all over again. The Beatles have never sounded better - I didn't even think that was possible!

Let me attempt the impossible and sum up the Beatles' message in one sentence: We are the makers of our own dreams. That works for me.

Dream. Dream away.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

laura linger said...

Frothing at mouth, eyes rolling back into head.

Too much vintage goodness in one place, my friend.

p.s. Don't denigrate your comedy writing. You are really good.

p.p.s. Rob and Laura Petrie are my real mom and dad.