MAD MEN returns August 16 on AMC

Farrah in LOGAN'S RUN

These are for a reader named "interzone " who thought I confused LOGAN'S RUN with SATURN 3.

Gale Storm 1922-2009

THE ANNIVERSARY

I've seen the publicity photos of Bette Davis wearing a color-coordinated eyepatch (that must have inspired the Nike logo) a million times, but never knew what film it came from–until I watched THE ANNIVERSARY (1968, directed by Roy Ward Baker)!This very black comedy, adapted from a stage play by Bill MacIlwraith, is from the Hammer House of Horror and tells the sordid story of the Taggart family - penny-pinching, inept real estate developers in England who get together annually at the gorgeous family estate in "celebration" of their mother's wedding anniversary to their late father.One-eyed Mother Taggart (Davis) is a cruel, demanding and contemptible woman whose only joy in life seems to be her pleasure in ridiculing her three spineless sons and their families. She knows how to push their buttons and she uses every finger she has to do it. This year, her youngest son Tom (Christian Roberts)—who is handsome until he opens his mouth—brings along his pretty blonde fiancee Shirley Blair to meet the family. Unfortunately things get off on the wrong foot almost immediately when Bette asks the girl to not stand too close to her because she "loathes body odor." She later forces the poor dear to reveal her deformed ears - causing Mother to declare "I have an adversion to anything repulsive".Her middle son Terry (Jack Hedley) has been married to Karen (Sheila Hancock) for a few years and they are planning a big move to Canada with their brood of children. They already have five with a sixth on its way. We learn that Terry was responsible for the shooting accident that left Mother with only one eye. We also later learn that mother gives them one thousand pounds every time they procreate and Karen has been saving up the money in order to pay for their move across the sea. Mother's reaction to Karen's plans? "My God, she's scummy!"The oldest son Henry (James Cossins, later famous for his guest turn as the hotel inspector on FAWLTY TOWERS) is unmarried, a confirmed bachelor who has a thing for silky womens undergarments. We see him ogling a shopgirl's slip, "borrowing" neighbors brassieres and hear him being scolded for wearing them (off-screen). Mother's venomous, but hysterical insults fly out out her mouth quickly and furiously in between puffs from her cigarette. She is vehemently opposed to Tom's sudden engagement, Terry's ridiculous desire to leave England and Henry's abhorrent transvestitism. She announces that she wants to have Henry arrested sent to prison where he'll be rehabilitated.
She will stop at nothing to make sure she ruthlessly neuters her sons and mentally scars the women in their lives. Mother even goes as far as telling Karen that her and Terry's children have been killed in a car accident to make the already anguished woman feel what its like to "lose a son". Meanwhile, the children are safe and sound upstairs. Mother also freaks everyone out when she plants a long, deep kiss on Tom's lips - but doesn't smear her lipstick!
Bette Davis plays a vindictive matriarch better than anyone in film history, commanding our attention as if she would chastise us if we didn't. While not a horror film per se, the feeling of uneasiness that Davis creates almost feels like she is brutally killing each one of the characters one by one.
If you are a Davis fan, and love to see her ravenously chew the scenery, this film serves it up like no other. Unfortunately the scenes without Bette drag the entire production down, so you may want to be prepared for a slightly bumpy ride. I give it an 8 outta 10 for Davis' performance in addition to the smothering atmosphere she helps create.

Remembering When TV Didn't Suck

20 television icons from the '50s and 60s will be honored on a set of first-class postage stamps, "Early TV Memories" to be released Aug. 11 by The U.S. Postal Service.

The stylish set consists of stamps depicting (as seen above) Milton Berle; I LOVE LUCY stars Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance; host Red Skelton; goofy puppet Howdy Doody; DRAGNET star Jack Webb; canine superstar Lassie; William Boyd, also known as HOPALONG CASSIDY; YOU BET YOUR LIFE host Groucho Marx; the ever-lovely Dinah Shore; Sunday night legend Ed Sullivan; Kukla, Fran and Ollie; Phil Silvers of SGT. BILKO fame; The Lone Ranger (Clayton Moore) and Silver; PERRY MASON star and gay actor Raymond Burr; Director and TV host Alfred Hitchcock; The wonderful George Burns and Gracie Allen; the iconic Ozzie and Harriet Nelson; TV mastermind and host Steve Allen; TWILIGHT ZONE creator and host Rod Serling; and THE HONEYMOONERS, with the stars Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. Yes, they left out some classics (Jack Benny, WHAT'S MY LINE? and others), but I'm hoping this is just the first of many sets.

The Day After

It's a strange feeling to lose 2 influential pop culture icons in one day. To cleanse the palate here's a colorful old detergent ad from the days gone by.

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

While I was never a Michael Jackson fan, it is very sad and unexpected that he has died on the very same day as Farrah Fawcett. My favorite memories of MJ were of the Rankin-Bass JACKSON 5IVE animated TV series which ran on ABC from 1971-73.

Farrah Fawcett 1947-2009

In February of this year I ran a birthday tribute to California blonde superstar Farrah Fawcett, who turned 62 on February. We now very sadly mourn Ms. Fawcett's passing after a long illness. Farrah appeared in some of my favorite films, including 1970's MYRA BRECKINRIDGE.In 1976, Farrah was seen the sci-fi classic LOGAN'S RUN.
Her fresh breezy style helped her land a lead role on CHARLIE'S ANGELS.
But her bathing suit nipple poster made her into an icon.
Her image could be seen everywhere. From coloring books to Halloween costumes and fashion dolls.
Farrah shocked critics and gained legions of new fans when she scored the lead role in the controversial NBC TV-movie, THE BURNING BED. Suddenly, Farrah was a highly sought after actress!After a few more acclaimed film and TV roles, Farrah pulled a 180 and decided to pose nude for Playboy magazine.
The Playboy spread and accompanying body paint videos erased some of the credibility that she had established over the previous few years.
Sadly personal tragedies and illness have plagued Farrah over the past few years, but our fond memories of her golden years will live on. It is truly an end of an era.

6 Months Til' Christmas

I'm just saying.

Ed McMahon 1923-2009

Rex

Last month I worked as the production designer on an hysterical pilot for a TV series called REX starring Simon Rex, Paris Hilton, Jamie Presley and Lance Bass. Here's the trailer:

REX - Trailer from The REX Team on Vimeo.

Judy Garland 1922-1969

Forty years ago today.

What's New Mister Magoo?

From my recently reacquired childhood book collection.I'll blog about my love for Mister Magoo one day soon.

Dougsploitation: The San Francisco Treat!

As a child I fell in love with the city of San Francisco. Not even knowing where exactly it was on the map, I often declared that it was a place that I wanted to live. I think my first exposure to the city by the bay was a famous commercial for a noodle product.
Over the years many TV shows I watched were set in the city of cable cars, including several seasons of THE DORIS DAY SHOW.Every week when I saw this classic opening, I knew it was where I wanted to live.
A few years later, PHYLLIS moved from Minneapolis to SF–therefore making my desire to live there even greater.Another TV show from the 1970s that fueled my desire was the Quinn Martin production, THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO.
Many other dramas also took place in SF, notably cop shows like IRONSIDE and McMILLAN & WIFE, soapy shows like FALCON CREST and HOTEL and doctor shows like TRAPPER JOHN, M.D. and PRESIDIO MED. Did anybody ever watch that last one?
Other famous sitcoms that were based in the city included TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT, MY SISTER SAM and FULL HOUSE (which to this day, I'm proud to say, I've never seen one episode of!)
But the show that really pushed me over the top was the original 1993 PBS adaptation of Armistead Maupin's TALES OF THE CITY. Having read the first five books, I was already in love with Maupin's wonderful cast of characters. But seeing them come to life in the city that was a much a character as the people themselves drove me to move to the city in 1995, making it my home for six years.

Since then, there were 2 very good TV sequels for Showtime, plus a dreary film adaptation of Maupin's tangental spin-off, The Night Listener. A 6th Barbary Lane novel, the wonderfully melancholy Michael Tolliver Lives was published in 2006. I find the recent news that Jake Shears (from the Scissor Sisters) is writing the music for a Broadway musical adaptation of the first book very exciting.

So why am I writing about my favorite city in the USA (and possibly the world) now? Because I am heading back there for a visit today and I'll be blogging very minimally over the next few days. Oh, by the way, if  you're wondering...nobody in San Francisco eats Rice-A-Roni. Ever.

Bob Bogle (1934-2009)

Bob Bogle, of the Ventures, the instrumental rock band whose hits included "Walk Don't Run" and the classic "Hawaii Five-0" theme song, has died. 

CHANGE OF HABIT

CHANGE OF HABIT (1969, directed by William Graham) is a movie I've been aware of my entire life, though for some reason I've never seen until now. Me of all people, who loves movies about nuns!

The film starts off promising with a great typeface super-imposed over our three "brides of Christ".
Elvis Presley gets top billing-but he's not the reason I'm watching this.
Yes - the magnificent Mary Tyler Moore, one year before her hit sitcom debuts.
And who else is in this promising little film?
OMG! Barbara McNair - one of my favorite singers of all time!
And introducing future soap diva Jane Elliot! Through the opening title montage (and Elvis song) we see our three sisters transform from wimple-wearing women to stylish young ladies who arrive in some nameless city ghetto and attract much attention from the locals. The men are turned on and the women are jealous.
Meanwhile, Elvis is having a party , surrounded by all sorts of inner-city folk.
But Elvis is not just a handsome singer–he's a doctor at a free clinic!
The free clinic where Sisters Michelle (Mary), Irene (Barbara) and Barbara (Jane) have been assigned to assist Dr. John Carpenter (Elvis) with his busy practice.

At first he thinks all three are there for abortions! He asks them, "All three of you? Just out of curiosity, was it the same guy?"
You see, Dr. Elvis and the local Amy Winehouse lookalikes must not know that they are nuns. These penguins are on an undercover mission!!!
Their new neighbors include two spinsters who are convinced the trio are hookers. They even point out that one is "black as the ace of spades"! Sister Michelle comments that the ladies may be Catholic, but they are not "Christian". Amen, sister.
The trio try to make the most of things while they wait for their furniture to arrive.
The next day, Sister Michelle helps Dr. Elvis with a patient who stutters. Julio also has a fondness for shiny, sharp objects like scissors. Michelle promises to give him extra attention.
Meanwhile at the apartment, Sister Barbara uses her feminine wiles to get some local men to help her carry the furniture into the apartment.
Back at the clinic, Sister Michelle diagnoses a "deaf" girl as autistic, pissing off Dr. Elvis.
The furniture movers get "touchy" with Sister Barbara, but she is saved from a possible gang rape by a mysterious fat white guy named "The Banker".
Returning to the clinic, Dr. Elvis examines a 17-year old Desiree, who complains of a pain in her "left chest".
After work, Dr. Elvis pays the gals a visit and tries to examine Sister Michelle's left chest while she strums his guitar.
He then corners her in the kitchen and is puzzled by her lack of attraction towards him.
The next day, Amanda the autistic girl is back and Dr. Elvis decides it time to cure her. By holding her and telling her that he loves her while Sister Michelle holds her feet. 
This scene goes on for about five, long, painful minutes until the girl is screaming and finally "cured". Who knew?
After the miracle cure, Dr. Elvis tries to cure Sister Michelle of her virginity, but she's not having it. Apparently in real life Mary Tyler Moore also turned down Elvis' advances as well.
Meanwhile, Sister Irene has a confrontation with some other African American characters and she tells them "I musta said a million ‘Hail Marys’ to get out of a neighborhood just like this" and then she uses "the N word"!
The next day, Elvis takes Michelle and Autistic Amanda to the park where he spontaneously performs a tune on the Merry-Go-Round. Oh-this is a musical too? Cool.
Then Elvis plays football with Sister Barbara. Must be nice to have a day off! No autism to cure today?
Aren't they the cutest couple?
Back in the ghetto, Sister Irene witnesses a brutal beating. It is revealed that "The Banker" is the crime boss behind it all!!!
The next day, the trio is called into the parish priest's office and they are read the proverbial riot act for living too much like "normal" people. They now must wear their habits in public. Everyone now shows them honor and respect, even the neighborhood sluts.
Sister Barbara uses her new popularity to start a picket of a local grocer who is over-charging customers.
Sister Michelle at last reveals to Dr. Elvis why she is giving him blue balls.
This is a scene that isn't in the film, but is a great publicity shot.
At the food market, Ed Asner shows up. He's not looking for Mary, he's there to eat a banana and hang out with Dr. Elvis.
The next day, the nuns host a carnival in honor of a Puerto Rican saint. Autistic Amanda makes her puppet say "the N word" to visiting Mother Joseph.
Then, Sister Irene incites a riot–exposing "The Banker" as the cause of all the problems the locals are having!
After Officer Ed Asner breaks up the riot, trampy Desiree thanks Sister Michelle for the dress she gave her, even though she altered the hemline a bit.
Then Sister Barbara tells Sister Michelle that she's leaving the nunhood because she could do so much more to fight social injustice as a regular person.
After they hug goodbye, Sister Michelle undresses for bed in front of an open window, as Julio the stuttering scissor collector watches her. OMG-a stalker plotline!!!
Then Julio manages to get into the apartment and attacks Sister Michelle, beginning to undress her and forces himself onto her!!!
Luckily Dr. Elvis is within earshot and he rescues her...and knocks Julio flat on his crazy raping, stuttering ass. Sister Michelle is traumatized.
Time passes and Dr. Elvis goes to visit Sr. Michelle at the convent where he proposes to her.
She turns him down (just like Mary) and basically tells him, she's already married to Christ. Later at church, Elvis performs a rockin' "Let Us Pray" as Desiree debuts her new, conservative look.
Sister Michelle sits in her pew and ponders. Who will it be...Elvis or Jesus? Elvis or Jesus? Elvis or Jesus?
SPOILER: The movie ends without us knowing what her final decision is. I wonder if they shot multiple endings?
I am so glad I finally saw this ridiculous, cheesy but ultimately great film. First of all, it was RATED G and had two attempted rape scenes, "the N word," the words "faggots" and "bitch" plus all that sexual heat between Elvis and Mary. I wonder what the MPAA was really watching that day? Secondly, it's interesting to see "liberated" nuns battling sexism, racism, poverty, intolerance and fighting for social justice. It was certainly a product of its time, but ahead of its time in many ways. I give it a big holy 10 outta 10 because any movie where Elvis assumes nuns want abortions, cures autism, plays football and breaks out into song is totally awesome in my book. It was worth the wait.