Where do I begin? At 8PM - short & sassy Olympic skater DOROTHY HAMILL with Gene ("Xanadu") Kelly brought to you by MetLife and Clairol! At 9PM - short & simple JOHN DENVER with The Starland Vocal Band, Joanne ("Three Faces of Eve") Woodward and the shark from "Jaws", sponsored by Timex. What the fuck? And at 10PM, short & Aussie OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN with Elliot ("M*A*S*H") Gould, Rona Barett, Lynda ("Wonder Woman") Carter, Lee ("Six Million Dollar Man") Majors and Nancy (director of "Can't Stop the Music") Walker!!! This is the most insane trio of variety specials...ever.