Showing posts with label CBS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CBS. Show all posts

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Remembering BEACON HILL



Due to the success of both DOWNTON ABBEY and the overall revival of interest in period drama- witnessed by shows on both PBS and cable - NBC gave a bright green light to Julian Fellowes’ THE GILDED AGE - a serialized drama set in late 19th Century New York City and focusing on the rising and plunging fortunes of “the princes of the American Renaissance.” The show was announced in 2012 and Fellowes will finally begin writing it later this year when his work on DOWTON ABBEY wraps up.

This news led me to recall BEACON HILL, what was considered by many to be one of the biggest flops of the 1970s. BEACON HILL was CBS's costly (the pilot reportedly cost a million dollars!) and overhyped attempt to recreate the magic of the original UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS. 




The series dealt with he Lassiter family in 1920s Boston, a wealthy Catholic clan. and their staff of servants. The show opened on Prohibition Eve, January 15, 1920 as The Lassiters celebrated with their last drinks. Subplots dealt with brothels, affairs with professors and dalliances with between Lassiters and their staff.


Rather than filmed, the show was videotaped like a sitcom or daytime soap, much like many PBS imports from England. Ratings for the August 26th premiere were healthy (25.4 rating/44 share), but subsequent episodes nosedived, and despite  John Hawkesworth, the producer of UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS, being called over from Britain to assist.




The patriarch was Benjamin Lassiter (Stephen Elliott, later Douglas Channing on FALCON CREST) - a self-made businessman who dabbled in the corrupt Boston politics of the day.



Benjamin’s wife was Mary Lassiter (Nancy Marchand, later the matriarch of THE SOPRANOS) - an elegant society woman who was past her best years.



The Lassiters had five children:



Maude Palmer (Maeve McGuire, later Countess Elena DePoulignac on ANOTHER WORLD) a conventional mother of four, married to the pleasant Richard, who had an interest in yachting (played by the versatile Edward Herrmann).



Emily Bullock (DeAnn Mears, later Judge Maria Gance on LAW & ORDER) was a caustic, jealous beauty. She was married to Trevor (Ray Cooper) who was "old Boston, old money".



Betsy Bullock (TV-movie stalwart Linda Purl) was Trevor and Emily's spoiled 18-year-old daughter.



Fawn Lassiter (daytime soap graduate Kathryn Walker) was artsy, freethinking and sexually liberated - and engaged in an scandalous affair with an Italian piano teacher.




Rosamund Lassiter (Kitty Winn from EXORCIST 1 & 2) was an “old maid” at age 29 - she had a keen business sense and was sleeping with the family chauffeur (Paul Rudd, later Earl Trent on KNOTS LANDING).



Robert Lassiter (David Dukes, later Joseph McPhee on DAWSON’S CREEK) - the lone male heir - had returned from France after the Great War minus an arm and full of bitterness. In one controversial plot, Robert visited a black brothel.



Arthur Hacker (British Music all star George Rose) was the family butler, and like his UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS counterpart, Mr Hudson, he was a father-figure below stairs.



He was married to  Emmeline (Beatrice Straight, later Queen Hippolyte on WONDER WOMAN) a poker-playing Irish housekeeper.



Emmeline’s niece, Maureen Mahaffey (Susan Blanchard - later Tina in the notorious MR. T. AND TINA) was also employed in the house as a maid.



The Lassiter cook, William Piper was African-American (Richard Ward - who later played Steve Martin’s father in THE JERK).



There was a footman named  Terence O'Hara (played by David Rounds, Mel’s cousin Wendell on ALICE) as well as maids Kate  (Lisa Pelikan) and Eleanor (Sydney Swire).



Also appearing: Ken Kercheval (DALLAS), Robert Prosky (HILL STREET BLUES), Michael Nouri (FLASHDANCE) and Holland Taylor (TWO AND A HALF MEN).



The series was produced by the Robert Stigwood Organization with music by Marvin Hamlisch (A CHORUS LINE). It was never rerun, never syndicated, and never released on home video. The show was put out of its misery after only 11 of the 13 episodes had aired. Let’s hope THE GILDED AGE has a better fate.

Friday, August 29, 2014

What's My Line? (Again)

While I enjoy my holiday weekend, here's a post from 2008.WHAT'S MY LINE is the greatest panel game show on TV ever. Sure the two other Goodson-Todman classics were TO TELL THE TRUTH - which had an awesome theme song (and the great Kitty Carlisle) and I'VE GOT A SECRET, which had the future Mrs. Pamela Vorhees (Betsy Palmer) on its panel- but WML?, which ran on CBS in primetime from 1950 through 1967 and in syndication from 1968 to 1975 is the granddaddy of all guessing games. THE MATCH GAME, which I love, is in a different category altogether.
Oddly I only discovered WML? only about 7 years ago when it was airing as part of the Game Show Network's vintage Sunday night line-up. I do kinda recall seeing the syndicated version when I was a kid, but it didn't really leave a great impression on me. Reruns of the B&W classics still air weeknights at 3AM on GSN and have been a fixture on my dvr for the most of the Bush years. I have now seen each episode at least three or times each - and I still cannot stop watching. It's "comfort TV" in a sea of loud, abrasive game shows that populate today's TV landscape.
The original version, for most of its run, aired LIVE weekly on Sunday nights from New York City with filmed playbacks airing a week later on the west coast. Hosted by honored ABC newsman John Charles Daly, the show was low on glitz, but big on smarts.
The game itself was simple - contestants came on and the four panel members tried to determine what they did for a living through a series of "yes" and "no" questions. The big prize of $50 was awarded to players who could stump the panel. A special feature, usually the third round of the evening, was a "mystery guest" who the panel would try to identify while blindfolded. These individuals were usually showbiz folks who had a movie or show to promote, but sometimes were politicians, athletes or newsmakers of the day. Fun!
The panelists changed little over the years. The main players were:
Broadway gossip columnist Dorothy Kilgallen - an uptight old-school conservative with a vicious determination to win the game. Miss Kilgallen was dubbed "the chinless wonder" by her nemesis Frank Sinatra and also co-hosted a radio chat show with her husband Dick Kollmar while carrying on a torrid affair with bisexual crooner Johnny Ray. Dorothy died suddenly of a drug overdose in 1965 while investigating the JFK assassination. Hmmm... An account of her life and death was published in 1979. A fictional account of her affair with Johnny Ray followed in 2002 and A film based on her story has recently been optioned. The lovely Arlene Francis was a Broadway and film actress and a daytime talk-show hostess. Her honest sweetness and delightful humor were a direct contrast to Dorothy's seemingly constant discomfort and stern, guarded personality. Arlene was also quite a fashionista, often dressed to the nines, while at sixes and sevens was Dorothy. Miss Francis was sheer class - but not a prude. Some of the show's sassiest double entendres came from her lips. Arlene appeared on the syndicated version into the 1970s. Miss Francis' memoirs were published in 1978, she passed away in 2001 at the age of 93."Is it bigger than a bread box?" came from the tirelessly witty and then uber-liberal Steve Allen, who was an early panelist, though he left to pursue other endeavors (like creating THE TONIGHT SHOW). His replacement was sourpuss comedian Fred Allen (no relation) who sat on the panel from 1953 until his death in 1956.
Steve returned on occasion after Fred's death, and rotating celebs filling this spot included the ever-spiffy Tony Randall, smart-guy Robert Q. Lewis and the likable Martin Gabel (Mr. Arlene Francis). Other memorable guest panelists include the brilliantly insane Groucho Marx, the entertaining Ernie Kovas and the exasperating Victor Borge. The final regular panelist was Bennett Cerf, who's day job was running the Random House publishing empire. Bennett was always making corny jokes, awkward remarks and odd non-sequitors. He was like having a charming, but embarrassing "grandpa" on the panel. He died in 1971. His collection of reminiscences, AT RANDOM, was collected in 1977.Part of the fun of WHAT'S MY LINE? is watching these people interact. It's as if there was a weekly cocktail party where five friends played a parlor game and the viewer was invited to watch. While the occupations of contestants are sometimes un-PC ("lady lawyer" ,"lady chiropractor", etc.) or downright offensive ("bullfighter") it's very interesting from a historical perspective to see what REAL men and women were like during the 1950s and 60s. Producer Gil Fates wrote a wonderful account of his 25 years with WML? in 1978.
Some recurring popular "mystery guests" include Jack Lemmon (8 appearances),
Jerry Lewis (7), Lucille Ball (6), Joan Crawford (5) and Bette Davis (5). Other memorable guests include Carol Channing, Judy Garland, Jacqueline Susann, Ethel Merman, Sal Mineo, Doris Day, Phyllis Diller, Barbara Streisand and The Supremes.
The syndicated version was hosted by Wally Bruner and then by Larry Blyden. Just as this edition was coming to a close, a 25th Anniversary Special aired on ABC in 1975. Unfortunately most individuals involved with the show have now passed on, with panelist Martin Gabel passing in 1986. Host John Charles Daly and panelist Robert Q. Lewis both died in 1991. Steve Allen died in 2000, after sadly having become quite conservative in his old age and the ever-classy Tony Randall died in 2004. (Before he died, Tony forbid Bush and Cheney to attend his funeral - gotta love that!)

A live stage version of WML? hosted by J. Keith Van Straaten ran in LA for a few years, and later in NYC. It was tons of fun, and I was in the audience almost every week. Some cool panelists and mystery guests were featured. I suspect that it will be back one day.
Rumors of a new primetime revival on NBC surfaced earlier this year, with David Hasselhoff attached to host. I think I'd prefer to play a home game like this one:or even this one:That's all for now, but there's so much more to the WHAT'S MY LINE story to tell...maybe some day.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

LIFEGUARD

More recycled Dougsploitation.

LIFEGUARD stands out in my mind for two reasons: it was another PG-rated, but sexy film that that premiered on the CBS Wednesday Night Movie (see COACH) and it was an iconic teen-age masturbatory fantasy for gay boys everywhere. What's surprising is that this movie came from Paramount Pictures (and now on DVD from the Warner Archive Collection) - not Crown International or American International or New Line or New World. This was a real Hollywood movie...with music by the legendary Paul Williams (PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, and that very special episode of THE ODD COUPLE where Edna Unger and her dad Felix argue over Paul's sex appeal).
As the titles roll, we meet our hero, young Sam Elliot, who even at 35 (?) seemed kinda old - but yet sexy. He's putting up a flag, and "intern" lifeguard and Scientologist Parker (HARDY BOYS and BAYWATCH) STEVENSON is helping him. Then a bunch of half-naked teen boys who all look like Carrot Top come up to them and tell them how they plan on getting laid this summer. Right.
Sam then puts on his tight rainbow tank top because his lady friend - a blonde stewardess(!!!) who looks like Sarah (REAL PEOPLE) Purcell coming over for a booty call.
PS- she is carrying the same "stew bag" that Tara B. True used in SUPERCHICK! And she gets to shows her tits and ass...in a PG movie!!! Holy shit - the MPAA would never allow this today. After the fucking, pillow talk between them turns dramatic when she tells him that he's not as good in bed as he thinks he is. He would be better if he loved her. He's like..."whatever" Back at the beach, a teenage girl who looks like a mildly-retarded Kristy McNichol needs a band-aid for her finger. So Sam helps her out. Later, while a dwarf photographer is taking snapshots, Sam and Parker talk about sex. A lot. Which is hot. Then they talk about sex with underage girls. Which is creepy.
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Then there's a boring bar scene which reveals to us that Sam is a "player". A guy that knew Sam 10 years earlier sees him at the bar and the two begin to chat. The guy - who looks like both the ABBA guys rolled into one - tells Sam that he now is a Porsche salesman, and that Sam should consider getting in the car biz.
Stalker teen, I'll call her "Tarzana" shows up again and tells Sam that she has no friends cause girls are snotty and boys are creeps. Then she splashes water on him and he chases her. He gives her a towel and they talk about marriage. Huh? Then she tells him she wants to get better at sex, and she wants him to fuck her. He thinks she's only 14, but when she says she's 17, he figures what the hell...and it does it! "Tarzana" is actually a played by a 22 year old Kathleen Quinlan!

The next day, Sam goes to visit his parents. We wish that it was Sam playing all three characters like Eddie Murphy does. Maybe in the sequel?


Back at the beach, Sam rescues some drowning kids and has to deal with a Cary Grant lookalike who is "showing his privates". We wish Sam and Parker would show each other's privates! Parker can't deal with the old guy cause he looks too much like his dad. Okay, ewww. 

"Tarzana" the Statutory Stalker shows up at Sam's apartment (She followed home!!!). Gulp. He can't make love to her because tonight's his 15 Year High School reunion - making him almost 30!!!

At the reunion, another Scientologist, Anne Archer and WONDER WOMAN's friend Etta Candy (Beatrice Colon) are there! During "Moon River," Anne shows him her kid, but what she really wants to show him is her "kid-maker".

Then there's a triathlon competition and of course "Tarzana" is cheering him on. Sam spits up water for five minutes. He must be too old for this??? A teammate jokes about it and Sam goes nuts. Speaking of nuts, the announcer has big ones. Ewww...

Before you know it Sam's teaching Anne's kid how to swim and how properly wear Groucho glasses.


He shows Anne a pamphlet of women he hasn't fucked yet, and she's in it - but not for long. It's light reading. Then they get it on. There's slo-mo closeups of various body parts. No nipples or balls, just fleshy parts. Soon she's smoking in bed. Must have been good.

The next day Sam goes to see the car dealer guy. Later, "Tarzana" shows up again and asks Sam if they are ever gonna do it again. He tells her no. And then she asks "Is it cause I'm jailbait?" No, she's cause you're crazy. Then she starts crying cause...SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY!

Later, Anne makes lasagna because her Mexican housekeeper can't be trusted with pasta. Sam comes by to tell her that he got a job as a Porsche salesman. Then a song by Paul Williams, the poor man's Elton John, serenades us as Sam drives around LA and says "goodbye" to the beach.

Only he spots someone out swimming where she shouldn't be swimming...and of course it's "Tarzana"! LET HER DROWN!!! But no, he rescues her and gives her a sailor suit to wear. Did a trick leave it behind? He tells her she's crazy. FINALLY! She tells him she LOVES him. Then he puts her in her car and sends her home. Is it really a good idea to put someone who just tried to kill herself behind the wheel of her car?

He tells Anne about Syndy when he visits her at her job (an art gallery). Anne is very supportive, but then he goes and spoils it all by doing something stupid like yelling at a potential art buyer and probably getting Anne fired from her job - or at least embarrassing the crap out of her! By the way, she looks pissed.

It's the next day, Parker's last before he heads back to college (he's gonna make something of his life - not just be a dumb lifeguard). Then the ABBA/Porsche guy comes by to see if he's gonna take the salesman job, and Sam says "no!"...besides there's a pervert hiding in the ladies room and somebody's got kick him out! It's tough out there for a lifeguard. Wonder if "Tarzana" made it home alright...
"Huh?" - 7 outta 10 - mostly cause of all the smokin' hot 70s man flesh. Oh, the guy pictured above isn't in the movie. Buy it today!