EASTER IS...

One of my many childhood obsessions was oddly enough Lutheran Television. Growing up Catholic, it seemed like our Protestant friends had better choices when it came to TV productions. They had the terrifically soapy THIS IS THE LIFE, we had SUNDAY MASS. They had the claymation duo of DAVEY & GOLIATH, we had SUNDAY MASS FOR SHUT-INS. They had EASTER IS... and we had EASTER SUNDAY MASS.

 EASTER IS...was an animated special about a boy and his dog from the early 1970s that was a sequel to CHRISTMAS IS... (which I also loved and will be covering in December). I recently found both these Lutheran TV classics unwrapped on VHS at a gay thrift shop in Palm Springs! It's an Easter miracle!

 Actress/singer/game show icon Leslie Uggams lent her talents to the production, a few years before her appearance in the disturbing exploitation film POOR PRETTY EDDIE, which also involved a dog.

 Our story focuses on Benjy, a young boy and his poor sense of what it means to be a good pet owner. His sheepdog Waldo wanders around the neighborhood without a leash, gets attacked by bees and is left sitting on the bus stop waiting for Benjy to come home from school. Probably doesn't get his shots either.

 At school, Easter season is in full swing - and everyone knows what that means : girls dressed as pink bunnies while boys point at them, colored eggs and baskets full of candy.

 Benjy's teacher (Leslie) tells the class that they are going to be competing against the other classes in an Easter decorating contest. Think of it as PROJECT: RUNWAY with lots of pastels.

 The teacher assigns Benjy the most important task of designing the poster for the classroom door. She doesn't want it to look like crap, so he's gotta really work hard on this. I mean real hard.

 As his hippie Jesus poster looks over him, Benjy begins to toil away night after night on his Easter poster, ignoring Waldo and becoming more and more obsessed with conveying the true meaning of Easter.

 The following day, Benjy scolds Waldo for being too co-dependant and the poor dog wanders off in a state of distress, only to be attacked by a magical (yes, I said magical) Siamese cat on loan from LADY & THE TRAMP.

 Waldo ends up spending the night on the streets, in a dump, and drinking polluted water.

 Meanwhile Benjy's ignorant parents think that all the boy needs to do is put food outside and Waldo will turn up.
They don't even offer to drive around and look for the dog. Out of sight, out of mind. I really want to smack these two smug assholes.

 Benjy prays to God to bring Waldo home. Maybe he should have thought about getting Waldo a leash and harness at some point and treated him better?

 But God doesn't listen - and Waldo ends up getting captured by a red-headed brat. It's always a red-head. Even Lex Luthor was ginger before he lost his hair.

 Red decides to hold Waldo hostage, thinking that his owner actually cared about him.

 Benjy is told that he needs to come up with FIVE DOLLARS in ransom otherwise he'll never see Waldo again. Great orange phone by the way.

 Rather than going to his stupid parents for help, Benjy decides to steal $3.05 out of the family piggy bank. Luckily his African-American friend is around to help him.

 Benjy and his friend confront the read-headed kidnapper, but its too late-Waldo was attacked by rats during the night and escaped Red's garage...leaving behind a trail of blood!!!

 Oh Hippie Jesus - what is Benjy going to do? What will become of poor neglected Waldo? Where did you get that awesome vest? PROJECT: RUNWAY, perhaps?

 Well, the next day Benjy's dumb-ass parents convince him to go to church for Easter - and Waldo just shows up. All dirty, but not bleeding. The two are happily reunited and all is forgiven. Did Benjy learn his lesson? Did he learn anything at all? I really don't think so.

 Benjy's stoned Sunday school teacher lets him bring Waldo into the classroom. "Like, that dog is so intense!"

 The creepy Sunday School students listen as Benjy and the teacher tell the miracle of Waldo's Christ-like return.

 The next day at Albrecht PUBLIC SCHOOL. (I typed it in all caps for a reason).

 Tim Gunn shows up to judge the Easter-decorating contest - and guess who's class wins?

Turns out that Benjy's Hippie Jesus collage is just what a PUBLIC SCHOOL wants hanging on a classroom door! I guess maybe Tim Gunn thought it was the Brawny Man or some other hunky dude and not Jesus. Well that's where Benhy's story ends...but actually I have a confession...

When this show aired in the 1970s, I loved it so much I mailed away for an EASTER IS...Hippie Jesus poster, which I proudly displayed on my closet door for years, until it was replaced by Lynda Carter. Amen!

Happy (Creepy) Easter

A Basket Full of Easter Cartoons

Here's a quick look at some network animated Easter specials from the 70s and 80s - from when the networks actually aired Easter specials.
A FAMILY CIRCUS EASTER (1982) Based on the beloved comic strip, this NBC special tells the unusual tale of young Billy, Dolly and Jeffy - as they actually trap the Easter Bunny to find out why he delivers eggs for Easter! Sounds a bit scary to me.

BERENSTAIN BEAR'S EASTER SURPRISE (1981) Based on the line of popular childrens books this NBC entry told the story of Papa Bear's adventure with Boss Bunny. Get your mind out of the gutter!

BUGS BUNNY EASTER SPECIAL (1977) 5 classic Warner Bros. cartoons (including "Knighty Knight Bugs" and "Robin Hood Daffy")surrounded by some new animation about Bugs and Granny auditioning replacements for the Easter Bunny. This ran on CBS through the 1980s.

DAFFY DUCK EASTER SHOW (1980) Daffy came to NBC with three new shorts, including "Daffy Flies North". The success of this special led to a Saturday morning series on the Peacock network. The special moved to CBS in the mid-80s.

FAT ALBERT EASTER SHOW(1982) Bill Cosby's Saturday-morning kids came to primetime in this CBS outting as the chubby dude and pals spread good cheer throughout their neighborhood.More to come tomorrow...

A Basket Full of Easter TV Treats

Here's a timely pastiche of old posts dealing with Easter-themed television. It seems like Easter was once a much bigger deal on TV back in the 1970s. Not only did the three major networks air a slew of animated specials, but regular series also aired special Easter-themed episodes!
THE LIFE & TIMES OF GRIZZLY ADAMS was one such series. This NBC family adventure series about a hairy dude (play by future drug afficinando Dan Haggerty) who lived with bears was quite popular during it's two-year run. Grizzly was loosely based on a real person, a bear handler in P.T. Barnum's circus during the early 1980s. This 90-minute holiday episode guest-starred Western legend John Wayne's less than legendary son Patrick. This show should not be confused with BJ AND THE BEAR - which starred Greg Evigan and a monkey named "Bear."

From bears to killer whales...Perry Como, the famously bland singer, hosted a batch of holiday specials on the networks through the 1970s. Joining Perry for this splashy outting - taped at San Diego's Sea World (nothing says Easter like killer whales) are the equally bland duo Grammy-winning Grizzly Adams lookalike Kenny (The Gambler) Rogers and Debby (You Light Up My Life) Boone. The fact that this snoozefest aired at 10PM must have alienated the elderly and grammar school audience that it was meant to attract. I mean who else loves water parks and squeaky-clean easy-listening music but people who are in bed by 9PM?

Speaking of easy-listening, regular readers of Dougsploitation know that when I was a kid I was obsessed with The King Family. The King Family was this humongous group of clean-cut, mostly-blond, well-dressed white folk who sang cover versions of songs made famous by other people. These were mostly showtunes, spirituals and patriotic songs like Climb Every Mountain, He's Got the Whole in His Hands and America the Beautiful. Sometimes they all dressed alike and sometimes they even dressed like royalty!

The King Sisters (Donna, Yvonne, Louise and Alyce) and their extended musical family had their own ABC prime-time variety series from 1965-66. It was sort of like THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW if Lawrence had fathered everyone.

In all, some thirty-seven members of the King family, ranging in age from seven months to 79 years, were featured on the show. I wanted to be one.

A short-lived 1969 revival, also on ABC, focused on the younger, hipper King Cousins. Don't they look cool?

This special, HAPPY EASTER WITH THE KING FAMILY may have just been a syndicated repeat of an Easter-themed episode of their weekly show, or it may have been an all-new hour-long King-fest. I'm not sure, There was a great King Family Christmas clip show that airs on PBS each holiday season. I heard a follow-up on their non-Christmas shows will be made as well.
Wow! What a star-studded eggstravanga this was! Poor Frankie, first THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR now an Easter Special from around the same time with an unimpressive line-up of guest stars. Very sad. Brings to mind one of my favorite lines from GREASE, "Would you pull that crap with Annette?"

Small Fry Easter Paraders

Easter used to be fun. I think.

My Letter From The Easter Bunny

From 2009: It's finally Easter season, and time for the holiday that tries so damned hard to be another Christmas - but I personally just can't get past all the ugly pastel decorations. While going through a box of old cards and letters recently I came across this curious artifact from my sordid  past...an actual letter from the Easter Bunny - addressed to me from a P.O. Box in Wilkes-Barre, PA.Apparently, this rabbit (aka my good friend) lives in Bunny Land and can take time out from his duties–preparing for this long trip–to write to ME. He knows I've been good? He also dispenses free medical advice as you can see for yourself below.

Well, I never did get baskets of candy after I figured out it was all a lie - but somehow this letter has magically stayed with me throughout the years as a reminder of that childhood innocence and gullibility that we all lose somewhere along the way to adulthood. Happy Easter season, kids – enjoy the Peeps and the hollow rabbits. It's gonna be over before you know it.

It's the Easter Beagle (again) Charlie Brown

Premiering on CBS in April 1974 - this popular Peanuts holiday special, like all in the series, features several subplots: Peppermint Patty tries to teach Marcie how to decorate eggs; Snoopy dances with the popular and adorable Bunny-Wunnies,Yes, the Bunny-Wunnies; Woodstock gets a new birdhouse; Lucy decides to throw her own egg hunt; and Linus, not defeated by the disappointment of the Great Pumpkin - tells Sally she doesn't need to color eggs because the Easter Beagle will bring them.

IT'S THE EASTER BEAGLE, CHARLIE BROWN moved to ABC in 2000,

where it has aired more or less every year. I believe it's padded with newer, inferior material to fill an hour timeslot. Not sure if ABC is even airing it this year, but you could always buy it on DVD.