NBC 1974 Line-Up, Part 2

A few months back I posted some of my SLIDESHOW slides - which was a parody of the 1974 NBC primetime line-up. As a treat to ME, here's a few more just for shits & giggles...

Well, 1974 is a season that will have people turning their heads to NBC. Let's start with Monday night... which we like to call "Freedom Night". Kicking the night off is a family show that is sure to bring in BOTH animal lovers AND music lovers. Remember that sweet film from a few years ago about the family that lived in the wild with a pride of lions...well, the lions are back....joined by Swedish supergroup ABBA for...
BJORN FREE - Yes, Bjorn Free...as free as the wind blows. Join Frida, Agnetha, Benny and Bjorn as they learn to get along with each other and the wild animals of the African jungles. An adventure series with an emphasize on preserving wildlife & European pop songs, the show follows the couples as they move from Sweden to Kenya with their adopted lioness Ingrid. Think of it as THE MONKEES meets "the monkeys"!

Tuesdays start off with an old favorite, but this season, we've added a new twist...
Yes, ADAM 12 becomes ADAM 12 INCHES - Well, it's not what you are thinking ladies - This year Officer Pete Malloy gets struck by lightning and gains magical powers that enable him to shrink down to 12 inches tall - and then the action really begins! Speaking of action, there's none whatsoever in our next show...but PLENTY of belly laughs...Yes, introducing a fat, homosexual clown...AND her roommate Mombo, who works in a circus in MOVE OVER MOMBO. TV's newest odd couple is sure to make everyone guffaw til the cows come home. Our special guest stars will include some of the biggest names in showbiz.

Next up is last year's biggest hit, UNDERCOVER NUN - Sister Patty packs heat for another sinful season of captivating Catholic crime conundrums! With her deadly rosary bead nunchuks & her baptismal brass knuckles, there's no match for this hot & holy cop with a crucifix. Research shows that even the Jews love this one.
On Thursdays we have DICK. DICK IN A WHEELCHAIR that is. Starring Raymond Burr as a handicapped detective...We hope viewers will find it as captivating as we do- that's why we've added a hypnotic element to make sure they watch it.

Garry Marshall, the man who transformed the play & film THE ODD COUPLE into a hit series has done it again - introducing...TOWERING INFERNO: THE SERIES!You only thought the fire was out at the end of the film...but the drama and flames linger on in this weekly series featuring a cast on par with the theatrical original. An all-star cast week after week... catching on fire and running for their lives. Viewers will want to watch this one again and again. If there was only a way to videotape TV shows! But there isn't. And sadly, there never will be.

Fridays we have...CUCHI & THE MAN - That's right Jack Albertson just loves Chicanos! The show is set in East Los Angeles and focuses on a brothel owned by a sweet cranky old bigot called "The Man", where Cuchi aspires to work. The two just can't along, so that's where the comedy begins! Join Jack and Charo this season with outstanding guests like Ruth Buzzi, the guy who played Dr. Smith from LOST IN SPACE, The New Zoo Revue and musical sensation Yoko Ono! This one has prostitutes AND minorities.

Also on Fridays we the unusual mystery series: THE AMISH GRANNY'S CRIME FILES...Each week Granny Sarah Stoltzfus jumps into her buggy and solves the most grisly murder mysteries you could imagine in Pennsylvania. It's like "Helter Skelter"... in a pretzel factory... without electricity... or running water..

You know Saturday night TV is very boring. CBS has four really dull sitcoms on...snooze city. That's why we've moved the award-winning DOCTOR'S MEMORIAL MEDICAL HOSPITAL CENTER to start things off for us at 8PM...
The show that won whole shitload of Emmys last season due to its super-realistic examination scenes. Speaking of realistic–poverty remains a great concern for Americans. That's why NBC thinks you'll want to gather all the young'uns around for GRANDPA BUCK'S HILLBILLY HOE-DOWN GOODTIME VARIETY HOUR.
Who needs those cornball hippies Sonny & Cher when you've got Grandpa Buck and his bucktooth clan???

Oh, at 10, we've got a news show. BOR-ING!! 

Isn't there anything for the cool kids on the block to watch? That brings us to Sunday - Starting at 7 with Disney's Psychedelic World of Dementia. This season we've got treats like "The Invisible Dentist Returns," "The Computer That Solved Everything for Us So All We Had to Do Was Order a Pizza," and the heartwarming "Raisins Don't Have Wings".You want sci-fi adventure? First NBC brought you STAR TREK (then we cancelled it)... now on Sundays we'd like you to meet... "The Man from A.N.U.S." a show that probes deeply into the Atlantic Nautical Underwater Seatown.

How's about a nice SLIDESHOW?

For the past three years, there's been an incredible fun (and cheap!) thing to do in LA called SLIDESHOW. It happens once a month in a cool space called THE FAKE GALLERY (4319 Melrose Avenue in Hollywood, CA 90028). Well on Friday, October 17th, Steve Silverman's cult hit turns the BIG THREE! If you haven't seen it (or been in it, like me) - this is your chance to experience one of the most unique theater/performance art/stand-up comedy/monologue things in town.Basically a bunch of performers (sometimes famous, sometimes not) tell you a story (often times hysterically funny, sometimes poignant) while clicking through accompanying and almost always appropriate slides. The subjects range from topics as diverse as the performers themselves. Some of my favorites included a collection of department store kiddie portraits, a tragic Hawaiian honeymoon and a sordid tale of a horny teen-age gay stalker. Like I said - something for everyone! My "performance" was a parody of the NBC 1974 line-up...here's a few samples of my slides with commentary (I will post more if there's a clamoring for them...)This year Monday Night at the Movies features a stellar line-up of movies in which child star Linda Blair is imprisoned and assaulted repeatedly, becomes an alcoholic, runs away, steals things and finally–gets possessed! 
Yes, LITTLE WHOREHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE - sure to warm the heart with tales of cowboys & sexually transmitted diseases...and soon to be a Broadway musical...BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.
Following the whores is a bold new show that combines the star of a great musical film with the premise of an action thriller. It's CABARET meets DIRTY HARRY in...THE EQUALIZA! Oscar winner Liza Minnelli takes the law into her own hands and sings her way through the mean streets of San Francisco, cleaning up the city scum with 45 calibers worth of jazz hands and Fosse-inspired dance steps.
We proudly present an ensemble cast of eight rising young actors who are ready to do whatever it takes to rescue those in need. Introducing Chad, Max, Randy, Cody, Ridge, Conner, Ben and Ryan...THE RANGERS IN THE WILD. These 8 handsome young rangers will patrol the Sierra National Park, charged with keeping the park clean and supervising the ever-growing number of tourists who come to enjoy it. An average episode involves protecting half-naked campers from bears, rescuing lost campers and enforcing very strict regulations.
Get me THAT SLUT COP! She's a tramp working undercover for the Los Angeles Police Department... Is that Angie Dickinson? Who else can pull of slutty and coppish. I'd like to see Bea Arthur try THAT in a muu muu!!

Eight all-time favorites (Bobby Banuelos, Hutch Foster, Stacy McQueen, Elizabeth Payne, Amanda Philipson, that guy Steve Silverman, Terri Simmons and Mari Weis) will be returning to load up Steve's state-of-the-art 1974 Kodak Carousel Slide Projector and deliver what the LA Times calls "Shockingly honest stories" and "Downright magical!" To make it a real party - they even got FREE FOOD, FREE DRINK, and HUGE PRIZE GIVEAWAYS! If you miss the 1970's - and WHO DOESN'T? - then DON'T MISS SLIDESHOW'S Third Anniversary Show! Call 323-692-3086 for more info and to make a reservation! Tell 'em Dougsploitation sent ya!