Sooner or Later: The Special Edition

Here's another "rerun" post from the old days (2007) -enhanced with new images!Imagine a 13-year-old Julie Kavner lookalike named Jessie. Now imagine Jessie reading a trashy romance novel in class when she's supposed to be watching a slide show about the birds and the bees. You see, Jessie's a bit mature for her age and her teacher Lynn Redgrave knows this. Lynn also knows how to put in a plug for the original BIONIC WOMAN series, which had just jumped to NBC the very season that SOONER OR LATER originally aired.After school, Jessie makes a trip to the local mall with her nerdy blonde friend (we will call her Penny Pingleton because I don't think they ever say her name!). Once at Gimbels, Hollywood relic Vivian Blaine gives Jessie a makeover that transforms her into a 16-year-old whore. Then Viv charges Jessie $10 for a jar of Pond's Cold Cream. Outside of the mall, Michael Sky (Rex Smith) his Sky Band are giving a free concert. Jessie rushes to the stage and stares at Rex with his Leif Garrett hair, Godspell suspenders and camel toe. We can tell she's already smitten.

Next up we see Jessie in her bedroom, teaching herself to play guitar. Penny thinks she sucks, and tells her to get real lessons. Oh, then Penny tells Jess how she wants to makeout with her dentist. This gives me the creeps. Especially when we see her dentist - he looks like Larry from THREE'S COMPANY. Jess decides Penny is right and takes the bus crosstown with her guitar, fending off all the mean folks who ride the bus. She arrives at the Eddie Nova Guitar Institute, where TV Land survivor Morey Amsterdam charges her $10 bucks for a guitar lesson - taught by...guess who? Michael Sky! With his lion's mane of hair, shirt wide open and ultra tight jeans, Jessie's putty in his hands. I think we learn that he's 17. Once back home, we meet Jessie's cool mom (Barbara Feldon), who we will call "99".For her second lesson , Jess decides to dress to impress and starts to tell Rex lies about herself, saying she's 16, goes to Catholic High School and likes to jog. Rex drives her home, where she wipes off here make-up in time to light some candles in an obviously Jewish ceremony. We now meet Jess's dad - Judd Hirsch from TAXI!The next day, Jess goes jogging (wearing an ascot!) as "You Take My Breath Away" by Rex Smith blares over the soundtrack. Jess meets up with Rex and pretends to twist her ankle to have him pay more attention to her. Afterwards, Rex takes his friends for a ride and we meet a slutty redhead who wants to get in Rex's pants! Later Jessie is seen putting on her makeup on the bus...and then sneaks into a crowd of high school girls so Rex will think she's as old as them when he picks her up.
At a Sky Band rehearsal, slutty redhead tells Jess that she was wondering if Rex was gay! After the rehearsal, Rex offer Jess a beer and then forces her to perform a song with him in front of all his friends. She does and they kiss!

Next, Jess is back home for a boring Jewish dinner. Grandma complains that the soup is too salty - AFTER she eats most of it! Then Judd puts in a plug for DAYS OF OUR LIVES. (wow that makes two NBC references that are both still relevant!! Editor's note: the new BIONIC WOMAN has since been cancelled) Next Judd & 99 share an uncomfortable discussion about sex and who is gonna tell Jessie all about it. Grandma then takes upon herself to tell Jessie about her love for an older boy when she was a teen. The next day, Rex asks Jess out to see MANDINGO!!! Holy shit - MANDINGO!!!

While he readies himself for a date with 99, Judd treats us all to "Sunrise, Sunset" from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF - Wow they really are Jewish! Jessie is all impatient with her parents because she wants them to leave so she can sneak out with Rex. The parents and Granny leave, and Rex picks up Jess and takes her to the drive-in. Jess nervously orders EVERYTHING from the snack bar and eats it all. They then make out and Jess tells Rex that she's loved him since the shopping mall. Rex can tell she is hiding something from him. She confesses "I'm not Catholic...and I'm 13".
Rex freaks out and drives her home. She tells him she loves him and she didn't mean to be a tease. He drives away and she proceeds to eat an entire Sara Lee chocolate cake...and cries. She really is a young Julie Kavner! Meanwhile Rex buys a beer and redhead slutty girl tries to get all up on him. He rejects her...again. The next day, Jessie is sad, 99 tries to talk to her about sex -but there's nothing this little bitch doesn't already know, after all she's seen MANDINGO! Then 99 tells her about the older boy at sleepaway camp. Hmmm...first Grandma, then 99, then Penny now Jess...all young girls LOVE older guys!!!

In the end, Morey tries to teach Jess some fancy guitar moves, but then Rex shows up at the music school wearing gold cowboy boots and proclaims that he loves her back - and then they pledge to "take it real slow"...
Wow - what an epic love story. Denise Miller is really charming as young Jessie, and the film is highly watchable, despite the underlying creepy subtext about young girls and older guys. Penny even has a framed photo of Burt Reynolds in her bedroom - and she's overjoyed when she develops a cavity -another excuse to visit her sleazy dentist!

Special thanks to Brett Freedman for lending me this dvd. I can see why he loves it so much. This one's a keeper! 10 out of 10 "Huhs".

Rutlemania!

Here's a re-post from 2011.

The Rutles were born over 50 years ago when Ron Nasty met Dirk McQuickly in Liverpool. They soon hooked up with guitarist Stig O'Hara, and they formed a trio. After finding drummer Barry Wom living in their van, the Rutles were born. A fifth member named Leppo joined, but disappeared after crawling inside a trunk. They soon became known as 'The Prefab Four'.In 1961, one-legged chemist Leggy Mountbatten discovered the boys playing in a club. He disliked their music, but enjoyed the cut of their tight trousers. He soon became their manager, signing them to Parlourphone Records. Their first single was I Must Be In Love.They recorded the first album in 20 minutes and by 1963 were a huge success in the United Kingdom. In 1964, Rutlemania exploded internationally, including the states, the group's first film, A HARD DAY'S RUT was released later that year.
Their success continued as they became stars on record, in movies and on magazine covers. The film OUCH! followed in 1965.
In 1966, Ron Nasty was quoted incorrectly as saying that the group were 'bigger than God'. However, he had actually said they were bigger than Rod Stewart.Teen-age girls loved The Rutles and teen-age boys wanted to be them.
In 1967 the Rutles masterpiece Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band was released, though rumors quickly spread that they wrote it under the influence of tea, which Bob Dylan introduced to them. TRAGICAL HISTORY TOUR followed featuring the hits W.C. Fields Forever and I Am the Waitress. In 1968, a 'Stig is Dead' rumor spread quickly, prompting Barry Wom to stay in bed for a year.
The group's final release, Let It Rot. was recorded in 1969. The band soon fell apart when McQuickly sued Nasty and O'Hara, Wom suing McQuickly, Nasty suing O'Hara and Wom, and O'Hara ended up accidentally suing himself.
A retrospective TV documentary called ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on NBC in 1978 ushering a new wave of 'Rutlemania'.A sequel, RUTLES 2: CAN'T BUY ME LUNCH was released in 2007.

Karen Black (1939-2013)

3:30 or 4:30 - The Afternoon Movie Rocked!!!

From 2010...

Growing up in New York, we had the WABC 4:30 MOVIE, while folks in L.A. had KABC's 3:30 MOVIE. Same concept, different time, different coast. The 4:30 MOVIE was best known for it's amazing opening titles sequence and it's theme weeks: PLANET OF THE APES week, Super-Hero Week, Disaster Movie Week, Sci-Fi Week, etc. Sure, most were "edited for television" 90-minute condensed versions of two-hour films, but remember this was way before Blu-ray, before DVD, before VHS, before Laser Disc, before BetaMax, before Satellite, before pay-per-view... even before Cable TV. This was the only way to see movies...other then at the movies. They often mixed in TV-movies to make thing interesting. So here's a typical line-up..."Close Encounters of a Strange Kind" week - THE GARGOYLES starring Cornell Wilde, NIGHT SLAVES starring James Franciscus, THE OMEGA MAN starring Charlton Heston, THE STRANGE WITHIN starring Barbara Eden and the one, the only PSYCHO! A 109 minute film, chopped down to 72 minutes to fit a 90-minute time slot? Blasphemy! Wonder how much of the shower scene made it to broadcast.

Random TV GUIDE Ad - Liberace

More Random TV GUIDE Ads - THREESOME

The year is 1984 and CBS airs this provocatively-titled TV-movie. Having never seen it (or actually heard of it until I came across this tawdry TV Guide ad) - I can only assume that the three actors pictured here never actually take part in a "three-way". In fact, I'm willing to bet my TV Guide collection that the concept of them all sleeping together doesn't even come up. Of course this should not be confused with THREESOME, Andrew Fleming's 1994 amusing theatrical film where Lara Flynn Boyle and Josh Charles DO have a three-way...with pre-Born Again Christian Stephen Baldwin. Praise Jesus!

More Random TV GUIDE Ads - DIXIE: CHANGING HABITS

No, this isn't the true story of Dixie Carter's conversion from a Democrat to a Republican, but a wacky TV movie about nuns and hookers - two of my favorite things starring two of my MTM favorites the late Suzanne (BOB NEWHART SHOW) Pleshette and the amazingly ageless Cloris (MARY TYLER MOORE, PHYLLIS) Leachman. This is one that I'm gonna have to hunt down because what's funnier than a whore in a convent? NOTHING! Why this wasn't turned into a weekly series, I just don't know. If I ran CBS this would have been the cornerstone of an entire line-up built around both nuns and prostitutes. They could private eyes, crime scene investigators, roommates - every tired cliche could be turned on its proverbial head with a little injection of DIXIE. All "heaven" could have broke loose indead!

The End of Brenda Starr

Today, the final BRENDA STARR comic strip was published.

I ran a blog post last year on the character's history, and found out that Wikipedia is using it as an official reference. How cool is that?Brenda Starr, Reporter was always one of my favorite comic strips. Its creator, Dale Messick, was a woman in a world of full of men - much like her creation. The strip has been running continuously since June 30, 1940.The character of Brenda Starr is a newspaper woman who works for The Flash. Her soap opera-style strip chronicled both her exotic career and her steamy love life - sometimes at the same time! This pulp fiction fashionista always had the right outfit for the right adventure, and paper dolls were often featured in the Sunday edition.Brenda Starr is a a totally modern woman - smart, glamorous and determined. Brenda has traveled the world solving mysteries, unearthing scoops and breaking the heart of almost every man she encounters. Bold, sassy, sexy, competitive, yet also romantic.

Her mysterious beau was named Basil St. John — whom she eventually married in 1976. Basil is tall, dark and handsome and sports an eye patch. Much of Basil’s life is consumed by the search for a cure for his deadly illness, which can be extracted from the rare black orchid. Brenda had Basil's baby. The child was a girl - and she was wincingly named Starr Twinkle St. John. This precocious youngster was also lost to Brenda when a plane went down in a jungle, carrying both Basil and Starr Twinkle. Starr Twinkle subsequently reappeared in the comic strip. After few years, Brenda and Basil were reunited, and then divorced, but fate could not keep them apart. Later, Brenda discovered Basil had a son, named Sage, whose mother was revealed to be Brenda's friend,  talk show host Wanda Fonda!
While Brenda's supporting cast has changed over the years, several key players have remained: Hank O'Hair is The Flash's razor-sharp city editor and Brenda’s best friend and confidant, whose sage advice is seldom followed by Ms. Starr.Hard-nosed, yet soft-hearted, smart, cynical, sarcastic, and blunt. Lesbian? Perhaps...

Mr. Livwright is the blustering, cigar-chomping managing editor of The Flash. He's stubborn, often at odds with Hank and Brenda, though he admires their uncanny journalistic abilities.
Brenda Starr, Reporter started out as a weekly Sunday strip, but expanded to daily in 1945 in conjunction with the release of the Columbia Pictures released a serial, BRENDA STARR, REPORTER with Joan Woodbury in the title role.Over 30 years later, Brenda was ready for primetime, but maybe not so much.
Jill St. John played her in BRENDA STARR, an ABC TV movie that aired May 8, 1976. This was a pilot for a series that never happened.

A second pilot, BRENDA STARR, starring the sexy, sultry Sherry Jackson was produced for syndication in 1979. Sadly, this also never made it to series.

A feature film, BRENDA STARR, was produced in 1988, but released in the US on April 15, 1992 with Brooke Shields in the title role and Timothy (James Bond) Dalton as Basil. Believe it or not, I've never seen this film. Maybe someday soon?Leaping from the funny pages into the world of four color comics is often a unsuccessful road taken by comic strip characters.
Brenda headlined her own comic book series from Superior Comics (1948-49), a Charlton revival followed in 1955and finally a 1963 effort from Dell. A Big Little Book also supposedly exists, though I have never actually seen it myself.

Reprints of rare early strips and comics were made available in the 1980s.You may still be able to find these at your local comics shop.

Dale Messick retired from drawing in 1980, only to be replaced by the great Ramona Fradon, who previously drew many of my favorite DC Comics' titles, including Aquaman, Plastic Man, Super Friends and The Freedom Fighters.When Ramona Fradon retired in 1995, she was followed by Linda Sutter and June Brigman. Brigman's credits include Power Pack for Marvel Comics and Supergirl for DC. Here's a Sunday strip from last year:The strip's final writer is Mary Schmich, who is also a columnist at the Chicago Tribune. June Brigman continued as the artist. 

The wonderful Ms. Messick received the National Cartoonists Society's Story Comic Book Award in 1975 and the Milton Caniff Lifetime Achievement Award in 1997 for her work on Brenda Starr. Dale Messick passed away in 2005 at the age of 99!

In 1995, Brenda Starr one of 20 famous characters included in the "Comic Strip Classics" series of U.S. postage stamps.
How could anyone NOT love Brenda Starr, Reporter?
Goodnight Brenda, thanks for 70 sensational years!