A classic post. This may be the 4th time I'm running it. What has been heralded as one of the worst hours of television ever - THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL has got to be seen to be believed. This ABC special originally aired once in 1976, but after years of showing up a bootleg copies, it's finally available on DVD.The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negative media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where PinkyTuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discotheque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits. This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?
With the legalization of gay marriage in New York and Pride celebrations continuing this month all over the place - I thought it was time to share this odd little pamphlet that an old friend gave to me a few years ago.
What might a first seem to be pro-gay propaganda, this many-fonted curiosity is actually a anti-gay diatribe from the Word of Life Fellowship in Schroon Lake, NY. Published in 1973, this bible quote filled booklet states "Not only do you find the Gays being worked into the scripts of popular radio and television shows, they even have their own programs!" In 1973? What was this guy Jack Wyrtzen watching? THE ODD COUPLE? SESAME STREET? THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW? Oh, thats right THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW aired on ABC back then.
He says that its not his intent to condemn homosexuality, though then he goes on for 13 pages about God creating Adam and Eve, not "another man" and that "in God's eye's this was sin" and "when man ignores God and flaunts what God calls evil, God sometimes takes violent action". He then states that tolerance should not be allowed. So Christ-like. Wyrtzen died in, 1996, after leading the giant freak Tiny Tim to Born Again Christianity. Jack left behind eight children and 55 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I hope at least 10% of the Wyrtzens are big flaming homos like Paul Lynde. Thanks for liberating us, Jack.
Casting director for THE PAUL LYNDE COMEDY HOUR: Hey, I've got a way to really "butch up" Paul's next special. How about we bring in that old guy from M*A*S*H, the broad from that Sal Mineo movie and the dame from the tampon commercials? ABC Executive: Great! Now we'll grab just about every demographic group imaginable. Terrific work fella, give yourself a raise!
Go here to view FULL EPISODES of the original, classic HOLLYWOOD SQUARES! Did you ever wonder what it looked like backstage? Pretty cool, huh? Here's a shot of host Peter Marshall... And here's a candid glimpse of Shirley Jones, master zinger Paul Lynde and someone who looks like Dinah Shore! So check out the link and enjoy one of the al;l-time classic game shows!
Yes, children there actually was a time before Photoshop when graphics had to be created the old fashioned way. I recently came across a file of dumb old magazine and advertisement parodies that I made when I was in high school and "that year I took off before college". I thought it would be fun to post some of them and review them through my seasoned Art Director's eye.
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Exhibit A: The Hollywood Squares gossip column by Mildred Snatch and The TV Answer Man by Belvedere Thib. Originally published in the August 1981 issue of National People Magazine.
Well, first of all, Mildred Snatch and Belvedere Thib are great names. Wonder where I came up with those? The idea of a gossip column being about one particular show - a game show no less - is pretty genius. Notice how I used mixed media here. Actual clippings from TV Guide combined with real typewriter type. Very fancy.
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Exhibit B : No Frills Granny advertisement, originally published in the January 1982 issue of Ladies' Life Magazine .
Wow! Completely hand-drawn type with a photo stolen from somewhere. I guess my obsession with fake NBC shows can be traced back to here. Spazzola Productions was a recurring entity in these ads.
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Exhibit C: "I Can't Believe It's A Jockstrap!" from The March 1983 issue of Playhouse, The Sophisticated Mens' Magazine.
Infecto Laboratories created many unique products that pertain to the genital region.
Once again, completely hand-drawn type - including the Infecto logo!
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Exhibit D: "I Can't Believe It's a Tampon!" from the January 1982 issue of Ladies' Life.
Once again, Infecto Industries creates something unmentionable in polite conversation. Notice celebrity spokesperson Juliet Prowse. Poor dear.
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Exhibit E : Best Little Whorehouse on the Prairies from TV Guard magazine (circa Spring 1982)
Ah! I've discovered Press Type! And I've created a new network, SBS! Poor Laura, I always know al that whoring would lead to trouble. I've revisited this concept years later in my Slideshowpresentation.
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Exhibit F : The Natalie Wood Story circa 1982
What can I say? My design skills have improved greatly as I was using Press Type like there was no tomorrow, plus actual clip art! Pamela Sue Martin and Erik Estrada? Why not? "The neglected swimming lessons!" - I'm sorry, Natalie.
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Exhibit F : "Planet Eartha" from Persons magazine (Fall 1982)
More Press Type with clips from real movie ads. I wish someone really made this movie. In Dolby Stereo and 3-D!
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Exhibit G: Gimme a Bust! also from Persons magazine.
A mix of clips and Press Type and a great photo of the late, great Nell Carter!
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Exhibit H - Equaliza circa 1983
Okay, now we're talking. This was actually a photo stat composite of a real TV Guide ad and a photo of Ms. Minnelli. (Happy Birthday Liza!) Pretty soon after this I'd be employed and designing actual TV Guide ads - only those were not as much fun. I hope you all enjoyed this twisted trip down my memory lane.
'Tis the night before Halloween, when all through my home
Not a creature was stirring, not even a gnome;
The pumpkins were placed by the fireplace nook,
As I settle down cozy with a real trippy book.
I'd love a blow-up painting of this 1970 Authorized Edition by William Johnston. Notice that "Durwood" is Dick Sargent and not Dick York! Apparently this is the only
BEWITCHED memorabilia that features the likeness of Darrin #2. What a perfect way to usher in the spookiest day of the year!
What has been heralded as one of the worst hours of television ever - THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL has got to be seen to be believed. This ABC special originally aired once in 1976, but after years of showing up a bootleg copies, it's finally available on DVD.The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negetive media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where Pinky Tuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portrals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discothèque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits. This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?
The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.
After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negative media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...
Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where Pinky Tuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?
Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discotheque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".
Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits.
This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?
