Davy Jones (1945-2012)

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Don't let high prices make a vegetarian out of you, let reading the ingredients of Hormel products do it instead.

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Heaven: THE MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW in Walt Disney World. Hell: Anita Bryant.

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There's nothing I could say that would be funnier than the text already in this ad. So, just enjoy.

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Okay, I understand that ROOTS was a huge TV hit...but did KBHK-TV channel 44 really need to show LeVar Burton in chains for his appearance on Dinah Shore's daytime talk show?

DEGRASSI Anonymous, Part 3: Everybody Wants Joey...

From 2009: For Day 3 of my DEGRASSI memories, I'll take a brief look at one of my favorite characters. Pat Mastroianni portrayed Joey Jeremiah on almost every incarnation of DEGRASSI. As a teen, Joey was a member of The Zit Remedy (along with his pals Snake and Wheels). Their one song "Everybody Wants Something" was prominently featured in many episodes of DEGRASSI HIGH.

Joey returned to TV as an adult on DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION sporting a sexy shaved head and a smattering of facial hair. It war revealed that sometime after SCHOOL'S OUT Joey married a woman named Julia (the mother of bipolar musician Craig Manning), with whom he fathered a girl named Angela. Julia had died suddenly, leaving Joey a single dad (and available to reunite with Caitlin Ryan).After dating Caitlin and a woman named Sidney. Longtime viewers had hoped that Joey and Caitlin would eventually tie the knot, but after Kevin Smith's infamous appearance on the series, Caitlin left Canada to further her career. Joey was eventually written out of the show after his stepson Craig left town to become a cokehead rockstar. For some sexy, dirty, reason Pat is pictured above wearing a tee-shirt proclaiming "Future Mrs. Craig Manning." Hmmm...

After Joey and Caitlin left DEGRASSI and the series focused more and more on the newer, younger cast members I became less interested. Finally ditching the show after the horrific DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD TV-movie. My memories of the original shows and the first years of the revival will keep this DEGRASSI addict happy for years to come. As Zit Remedy sang, "Everybody wants something, they never give up..."

DEGRASSI Anonymous, Part 2: SCHOOL'S OUT!

From 2009: My disappointment over the shit heap known as DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD led me back to my DEGRASSI HIGH box set to watch the 1992 TV-movie called SCHOOL'S OUT! I missed this 90-minute special when it first aired because the geniuses at WNET in New York chose to air it only once– on Gay Pride Day 1992 – at a time when attending such events was important to me, being a young gay and all.So now, 17 years later (in 2009), with the bad taste of DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD still in my mouth, I decided to give SCHOOL'S OUT a shot.It all starts out in true Degrassi fashion as class valedictorian Lucy Fernandez (Anais Granofsky) delivers a farewell address to the graduating class. Among the students is Caitlin Ryan (Stacie Mistysyn), who has skipped ahead one year to graduate before her boyfriend Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni), who has been left back. At Lucy's graduation party we learn that Lucy and Caitlin will be college roommates. At the party, we actually see Degrassi students drinking beer and smoking weed - with no judgements. Even some of the good students are getting high. Miss Goody Two Shoes Tessa Campanelli (Kirsten Bourne) thinks that her friends are "so boring" when they are stoned. Meanwhile, Joey presents Caitlin with a friendship ring that he's saved all his pennies for. He implies that it could also serve as an engagement ring, but Caitlin is not ready for that kind of commitment. She also isn't ready to have sex with him!Joey is crushed and runs out of the party and into Tessa, and he agrees to give her a "ride home". Before he drops her off, he plants a kiss on Tessa's lips. They later make a date and Joey gets to second base with her. Luckily he works in the pharmacy and has easy access to Shields brand condoms! So virginal Joey may finally get laid this summer, with our without Caitlin. Later Joey's pals gawky Snake (Stefan Brogren) and lesbian-lookalike Wheels (the late Neil Hope) discuss all matter of sexual hi jinks as they work on Wheel's crappy car. Snake is still a virgin too, but hopes his summer gig as a lifeguard will change all that.

So Joey and Tessa have sex...lots of it...so much for Tessa being Miss Goody Two Shoes! Weed=boring, sex=not so boring! While her and Joey continue to do the nasty, Caitlin goes back and forth on whether she wants to still go away to University with Lucy or stay local and be engaged to Joey. Lucy tries to convince to her choose college, but it looks like Caitlin might be giving it a second thought.Then Caitlin decides that she will give Joey what he wants for his 19th birthday, prompting Lucy shows her how to put a rubber on a banana (which she calls "Joey"). Then Caitlin puts her hair up and a condom in her purse and before you know it - they've had sex too. After the momentous event, Caitlin cries and Joey gets out of bed...
I'm sure my readers would like to see that again...(Click to enlarge even more!)
Anyways, after the sobbing and the amazing butt shot, Joey climbs into his grampa's boxers.
Meanwhile, Tessa pays a visit to the local Women's Health Clinic. Guess what? She's totally preggers - so she orders up one abortion - to go!!! Later, the whole gang is getting together one last time by the lake...and tensions are growing between Wheels and Snake. Snake is all pissy cause Wheels spent his whole summer drinking beer and working on his shitty car. Their argument includes some un-Degrassi-like words such as "shit" and "asshole." They actually come to blows, and Lucy takes Wheels outside for some air.
Things go from bad to worse when Snake accuses Joey of "fucking" Tessa while dating Caitlin...just as Caitlin walks in! What happens next is the best Degrassi line ever...

"Tessa Campanelli? You were fucking Tessa Campanelli?" CLASSIC!

Things continue to spiral outta control when Snake has to put his lifeguard training to the test to rescue Allison Hunter (Sarah Holmes) from drowning just as Wheels puts his drunk driving to the test - killing a small child and putting Lucy in critical condition! Holly shit!
Wheels winds up in prison for vehicular manslaughter and Lucy ends up blind in one eye and walking with a cane (as witnessed in the premiere episode of DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION). The whole story winds up months later at the wedding of Alexa Pappadopoulos (Irene Courakos) to Simon Dexter (Michael Carry). Not attending are Wheels, Lucy and a few others. Snake shows up at the wedding with his new girlfriend, Pam.

At the reception, Snake's future-wife Spike (Amando Steptoe) mentions to Caitlin that her daughter Emma is now in pre-kindergarden (setting the stage for Emma to become one of the central characters in DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION in 2001). The film ends with Joey asking Caitlin to dance. Awww... What a totally enjoyable and satisfying conclusion to the series and the perfect bridge to the next series. I cannot recommend this highly enough to Degrassi fans everywhere. And if I need to remind you why, there's always this...

The End.

DEGRASSI Anonymous, Part 1

From 2009: My name is Doug and I must confess that I am a DEGRASSI fan. And I am not alone, this Canadian import, in all its various incarnations became something of a cult favorite among my circle of friends and we still talk about it to this day.
I first discovered the earliest show, THE KIDS OF DEGRASSI STREET (produced 1979-86) during my high school years, but really became hooked once PBS began airing DEGRASSI JUNIOR HIGH on Sunday mornings in 1987. During its three seasons, this "kids" show tackled topics such as child abuse, rumored lesbianism, drug addiction, unprotected sex, interracial relationships, alcoholism, teen pregnancy, wet dreams, depression, molestation, gay relatives, animal rights and eating disorders. How could you not love that?
Though I was now college age, DEGRASSI seemed smarter than any kids show I had ever seen and more adult than anything the US networks were showing at that time. The fact that the show didn't talk down to its audience or get all preachy was a refreshing change from what we were used to.Popular characters included the adorable star-crossed lovers Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni) and Caitlin Ryan (Stacie Mistysyn), unwed teen mom/punk Christine 'Spike' Nelson (Amanda Steptoe), gawky goofball Archie 'Snake' Simpson (Stefan Brogren), mega-nerdy Derek 'Wheels' Wheeler (Neil Hope), future filmmaker Lucy Fernandez (Anais Granofsky) and the Farrell twins (Angela and Maureen Deiseach). There were also some annoying and cheesy characters too, but we tended to ignore those.
DEGRASSI HIGH came along in 1989, and unlike its US counterparts like BEVERLY HILLS 90210 and SAVED BY THE BELL the actors were actually high school age and were hardly teen models. These kids were realistic looking and acting teens. Further topics covered in the two seasons: abortion, sexism, abusive relationships, prejudice, HIV, sexual abuse and suicide.Another aspect of DEGRASSI HIGH was its tendency to show its male characters in various states of undress. Blonde himbo Simon Dexter (Michael Carry) got to reinact the PSYCHO shower scene in an episode called "It Creeps". And popular bad boy Joey Jeremiah took a stroll through the Degrassi corridors sans clothes to raise money to buy a car.After DEGRASSI HIGH ran its course, a controversial 90-minute TV-movue entitled SCHOOL'S OUT was aired and a documentary series titled DEGRASSI TALKS followed (in Canada only).
Almost a decade later, DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION arrived via the MTV-owned cable network The N. Spike's baby girl Emma Nelson (Miriam McDonald) was now a teenager and soon became the lead character of the show. Spike was now in a relationship with Snake, and the two later married. Joey and Caitlin were also back, and dated for a while. Other characters from the old show made appearances early on, but were phased out as the series continued. The show also inspired a series of manga-style comic books.This version of DEGRASSI has thus far dealt with some heavy topics including online predators, sexual identity, date rape, school violence, cutting, STD's, murder and other heavy topics. In fact a two-part episode about abortion was not aired in the US, and all references to the procedure were edited out of subsequent episodes.

At first I resisted getting into this new version of my old favorite, but the charming and talented cast eventually won me over. Standout characters from the first season included pregnant teen Manuela 'Manny' Santos (Cassie Steele), school mascot and eventual martyr James Tiberius 'J.T.' Yorke (Ryan Cooley), overachiever Liberty Van Zandt (Sarah Barrable-Tishauer), otter-in-training Tobias 'Toby' Isaacs (Jake Goldsbie), troubled Sean Cameron (Daniel Clark), cute goth wannabe Ashley Kerwin (Melissa McIntyre), eventually bisexual bad girl Paige Michalchuk (Lauren Collins), basketball star James 'Jimmy" Brooks (Aubrey Graham) and lovable bad boy Gavin 'Spinner' Mason (Shane Kippel). Joining the expanded cast for Season 2 were bipolar musician Craig Manning (Jake Epstein), self-abuser faghag Ellie Nash (Stacey Farber) and fabulous gay role model Marco Del Rossi (Adamo Ruggiero). Each new season welcomed a new batch of attractive young actors to the show, as older characters began to move on. Troublemaker lesbian Alex Nunez (Deanna Casaluce) and sleazy Jay Hogart (Mike Lobel) began as supporting players and took on more prominent roles in later seasons. The show "jumped the shark" when writer/director Kevin Smith guest starred for a story arc involving his tiresome Jay and Silent Bob characters and a movie shoot at his school with aspiring actress Manny cast in a role. The series still airs, but most of the best of the cast are now gone, as their characters graduated high school and left for college, and a largely generic group of younger characters has taken over.

A new TV-movie called DEGRASSI GOES HOLLYWOOD reuniting the main characters of THE NEXT GENERATION earlier seasons will aired on August 14, 2009 - proving that something jump the shark TWICE!

For more info on DEGRASSI go here.

Neil "Wheels" Hope (1972-2007)

"Wheels" is dead. He died in 2007 - but the news was released today. Weird.

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SUPERTRAIN returns!

This is a repost from 2008 (and 2010).

In the past few seasons NBC has brought back both BIONIC WOMAN and KNIGHT RIDER, which forced me to recall the another terrible NBC show about a futuristic vehicle–SUPERTRAIN! A failed attempt by the peacock network to launch it's own LOVE BOAT-type franchise, SUPERTRAIN is one of the most critically lambasted TV shows ever. While the train itself was mighty impressive (There was a disco and a swimming pool on board!), the series lacked several things that viewers were looking for at the time - big name guest stars and comedy. SUPERTRAIN premiered February 7, 1979 at 8PM and limped along for a few weeks before it was "retooled" and rescheduled to air in more "adult" the Saturday 10PM slot. I remember watching it a few times and thinking that it really sucked, excepted for the train. I always hoped that it would at least stay on the air long enough to inspire a cool line of toys. That never happened, in total, only 9 episodes aired.
Well, maybe NBC will revisit the concept since they seem to have been mining the NBC archives with revivals for the past few seasons (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, THE BIONIC WOMAN, AMERICAN GLADIATORS, KNIGHT RIDER). With V turning up as a revival on ABC, Can SUPERTRAIN be that far behind? Thanks to Tony Cook for posting some great SUPERTRAIN clips on YouTube .

Enough with the Dead Celebrities...Let's Fly Away

Man, they are dropping like flies, aren't they? Things are so bad I'm forced to lighten things up with a blog post I was originally planning way back in September 2011 - when PAN AM was the hottest thing on TV. Remember PAN AM?

Well, I for one was very excited about this show. When I first heard about it, I thought it would be right up my runway. After all, I've been a fan of Pan Am - the vintage airline - since as far back as I could remember. In fact I've been crazy about flight attendants since I was a wee lad.

After all, what's not to love about Pam Am stewardesses?

Well, after watching about 2.5 episodes of PAN AM...I realized I'd rather look at old ads from the 60s than watch a painfully annoying show about bland characters.

Like this one.

Other TV shows and films tried to capture the thrill of the airline experience.

Films like COME FLY WITH ME (1963).

How great is this poster? Even in French...

And then there's BOEING, BOEING (1966)...

And the awful Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle VIEW FROM THE TOP (2003). What a stinker!

.

A much better film which used Pan Am as production element was Spielberg's CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (2002), which I believe is currently having a second life as a big splashy Broadway musical.

On TV, there was the adaptation of the saucy novel COFFEE, TEA OR ME? (1973)

The ABC MOVIE OF THE WEEK version was a bit tamer.

Starring Karen Valentine and John Davidson.

Looks like the original book has been re-issued by Penguin. Didn't they used to publish classics?

Another attempt by network TV to capture the stewardess experience was the CBS dramedy FLYING HIGH (1978-79).

Starring Connie Selleca, Pat Klous and Kathryn Witt.

It was called a "jiggle show" or "CHARLIE'S ANGE:LS in the air."

Looks intense.

Apparently it's still popular somewhere...

Years later, FOX gave us THE CREW... 

 Yes, THE CREW (1995-96) from Marc (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES) Cherry starring soap icon Lane Davies.

A little more racy was the British series MILE HIGH (2003-05)...

Which was kind of a throw back to the sexploitation flicks like...THE STEWARDESSES (1969)...which was in 3D.

 Or STEWARDESS SCHOOL (1986) featuring Donny Most, Judy Landers and Sherman Hemsley!

I'm not gonna go into the AIRPORT series of films, but I really must mention that the all-time best Airplane movie is, of course AIRPLANE! (1980).

But by all means, avoid the sequel...

...and avoid PAN AM. Is that show still even on?