Karen Valentine's Day

Celebrate VALENTINE'S DAY with Karen and a post from 2009.

When I was a kid, Friday nights were one of my favorite nights of television. THE BRADY BUNCH, THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY, THE ODD COUPLE and LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE were all among my favorite shows. But somewhere in the middle of the night lurked the black hole known as ROOM 222.

The thing about ROOM 222 was that it was supposed to be a comedy (the first episode even had a laughtrack) - but it wasn't funny. In fact, it was depressing. Who wanted to watch a show about an inner-city high school on a Friday night???

I recently tried watching an episode to see if the show was any funnier or less depressing. Guess what? No, it wasn't.

The main focus of the show was the American history class held in Room 222 of Walt Whitman High School in Los Angeles, CA. The class was taught by Pete Dixon (Lloyd Haynes), a preachy and idealistic teacher. Pete's patient girlfriend Liz McIntyre (Denise Nicholas) was the guidance counselor. Principal Kaufman (Michael Constantine) and sweet student-teacher Alice Johnson (Karen Valentine) rounded out the cast.

Lovely Valentine later starred as Gidget in the TV film GIDGET GROWS UP, and in her own short-lived series KAREN (1975).

Karen also guest-starred on many series, including LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE and LOVE BOAT.

ROOM 222 aired on ABC from September 17, 1969 to January 11, 1974, for 112 episodes and won a bunch of Emmy Awards. The show featured appearances by many actors who went on to become stars, including Bernie Kopell, Cindy Williams, Teri Garr, Jamie Farr, Rob Reiner, Anthony Geary, Richard Dreyfuss, Kurt Russell, Mark Hamill and the late Bruno Kirby.

The melancholy theme song was by film composer Jerry Goldsmith. Here it is to depress us all...

SUSAN SLADE

Here's another re-post from 2009...

Almost as if it was written today, SUSAN SLADE (1961, directed by Delmer Daves) is a glossy melodrama about the dangers of premarital sex and disgrace of being an unwed mother.

The story goes like this: family man Roger Slade (wooden cue-card reading Lloyd Nolan), his upstanding wife Leah (the lovely, but soft-focused Dorothy McGuire)

and sickeningly sweet daughter Susan (kittenish Connie Stevens) take a cruise on The Love Boat, which is traveling from South America to San Francisco.

Susan meets a fellow passenger “the handsomest man on the ship” Conn White (Grant Williams), a dashing mountain climber who wants to mount Susan's slade.

Conn romances (or cons) his way into Susan's heart (and lower) as the theme from Daves' other film A SUMMER PLACE (1959) plays, reminding us that Troy Donahue is about to enter our story.

After Susan sins with Conn in his cabin, he promises to marry her–but only after he returns from Alaska, where he is going to climb Mount McKinley. Right.

Meanwhile, the Slades hobnob with the snobby super rich Corbett family (Natalie Schafer aka Mrs. Howell is the mother) including their dashingly handsome son Wells (TATTELETALES host Bert Convy). The Corbetts gift the Slades with a gorgeous new Asian/modern house in Monterey.

Painfully good-looking Hoyt Bricker (Troy Donahue) is the son of a former Corbett employee, who blames his father's death on papa Corbett. Hoyt is now a stable boy, and Susan is quick to put him in his place, even after he saves her from a horse accident.

Susan has not heard from Conn, but begins to worry about him. While visiting a doctor in San Francisco, she learns she's knocked up! Hoyt begins to look more attractive to Susan after he tells her that he aspires to be a famous writer just like Robert Lewis Stevenson or John Steinbeck.

The Slades throw a snazzy cocktail party, and Susan still hasn't heard from Conn. Was he indeed a con man? During the party Conn's father calls to tell Susan that her groom-to-be was killed in a climbing accident. Oops. There goes the wedding plans.

This news causes Susan to furiously pull her dress off and want to miscarry her bastard child—so she saddles up a horse and rides out into the ocean in an attempt to drown herself and the baby. Unfortunately Hoyt rescues her.

After she confesses her "sin" (The film is based on a novel called The Sin of Susan Slade) to her parents, rather than get an abortion they concoct a plan to move to South America for two years and then return with the baby - and say it's Leah and Roger's child! So, without appearing pregnant at all, Susan soon gives birth to her baby “brother” Rogey (Ragi?), but has a hard time letting go of him. Mrs. Howell notices that Susan is more mature and oddly attached to her infant sibling. Then grandpa Roger suddenly drops dead.

Susan and her mother return to Monterey with baby Rogey and there is much tension between them, especially when absent-minded Leah leaves her cigarette lighter lying around. Now that Conn is long forgotten, Susan finds she now has two men to choose from: filthy rich Wells Corbett, who proposes to her and pathetic stableboy Hoyt Bricker, whose ass looks great in white jeans.

Susan decides she can't walk down the aisle in a soiled wedding gown because she's no longer pure. Soon afterwards, Susan is babysitting Rogey, when Hoyt comes by to tell her that his book is going to be published. Hmmm, maybe he's not a loser after all!

While they are celebrating, Rogey somehow climbs out of his crib gets hold of Granny's cigarette lighter and sets himself on fire!!!! This scene is totally over the top and must be seen to be believed.

At the hospital, Susan reveals that Rogey is her baby and Wells rejects her. Hoyt, it turns out, is okay with burned bastard babies. Then we learn that Rogey is going to be just fine–well, eventually...

What a ridiculous movie! I laughed out loud a bunch of times, but at 2 hours in length, the laughs didn't come as quickly as they should have. I give it a 6 outta ten. Connie was no Sandra Dee, Dorothy Maguire was no Constance Ford and SUSAN SLADE is no SUMMER PLACE.

Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

From 2009: 

Basically Saturday night TV is a dumping ground and graveyard for failing shows and reruns of hits from other nights. This was not always the case.

Once upon a time, Saturday nights hosted some of the best and/or popular TV that ever was. From YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS and JACKIE GLEASON in the 1950s,to LEAVE IT TO BEAVER and GUNSMOKE in the 1960sto MARY TYLER MOORE and THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW in the early 1970s,to LOVE BOAT and FANTASY ISLAND in the late 1970s.The 1980s brought hits like GOLDEN GIRLS, AMEN, EMPTY NEST and 227. But after those shows ran their course, people started renting movies, watching cable or actually going out on Saturday nights and the networks got lazy and filled the night with cheap programming like news shows, theatrical movies, "reality" TV and reruns. Lots and lots of reruns.

I really miss Saturday night TV. It is very doubtful that the networks will rethink their weekend strategy. Maybe if they aired shows that people actually want to watch - then people would tune in!

Here's an odd & rare ABC Saturday-night line-up from my youth that I fondly remember:

HERE WE GO AGAIN starring Larry Hagman, A TOUCH OF GRACE starring the terrific Shirley Booth and wonderful  THE JULIE ANDREWS HOUR. Ah - if I could turn back time...

SUPERTRAIN returns!

This is a repost from 2008 (and 2010).

In the past few seasons NBC has brought back both BIONIC WOMAN and KNIGHT RIDER, which forced me to recall the another terrible NBC show about a futuristic vehicle–SUPERTRAIN! A failed attempt by the peacock network to launch it's own LOVE BOAT-type franchise, SUPERTRAIN is one of the most critically lambasted TV shows ever. While the train itself was mighty impressive (There was a disco and a swimming pool on board!), the series lacked several things that viewers were looking for at the time - big name guest stars and comedy. SUPERTRAIN premiered February 7, 1979 at 8PM and limped along for a few weeks before it was "retooled" and rescheduled to air in more "adult" the Saturday 10PM slot. I remember watching it a few times and thinking that it really sucked, excepted for the train. I always hoped that it would at least stay on the air long enough to inspire a cool line of toys. That never happened, in total, only 9 episodes aired.
Well, maybe NBC will revisit the concept since they seem to have been mining the NBC archives with revivals for the past few seasons (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, THE BIONIC WOMAN, AMERICAN GLADIATORS, KNIGHT RIDER). With V turning up as a revival on ABC, Can SUPERTRAIN be that far behind? Thanks to Tony Cook for posting some great SUPERTRAIN clips on YouTube .

Thank God It's Friday the 13th

Here's a fun & funky Friday flashback!
My other half recently told me that in addition to chocolate bunnies, his parents gave actual Easter presents every year. In the late 70s, one of his gifts was the THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY soundtrack album - which he still has and sometimes forces me to listen to (today, for example, all THREE discs). In celebration of that odd holiday memory, we watched the movie version of the album as well.
I first saw THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY at a drive-in in New Jersey when I was about 14. Everyone was hoping for another SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER. I remember thinking back then that the film was more like an episode of THE LOVE BOAT instead of an actual movie. Except THE LOVE BOAT usually had more plot and bigger name actors. I was a very wise 14 year old.

When a film starts with the Columbia logo lady disco dancing, you know you're in for a "good" time. While not as cool as the Wilma Flintstone version of the Columbia logo (from THE MAN CALLED FLINTSTONE) - this is pretty cool.As the credits roll, and the theme song blares, we see a montage of "getting ready scenes" that would make my friend Brett's head explodes (he LOVES movies with "getting ready scenes" - like ROLLER BOOGIE, for example). As all our characters are preparing for their night out we see that Jeff Goldblum and Debra Winger are among the cast...and Donna Summer (who gets special billing) as Nicole! Let's see if I can accurately report on what actually does happen in this film.

We see wacky dental assistant named Jackie who takes a deep inhale of nitrous oxide and puts on a pink wig - eventually dressing like a whorish clown for her drug-infused night out. It's interesting how the film is very non judgemental in her recreational use of drugs, but the poster makes her sound like she's a refugee from VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

We see Donna (in her first "acting" role) as she begs a shopkeeper to stay open because she wants to buy a special dress - presumably to wear for her big night out at the disco.
We see two awkward high school girls (Frannie & Jeannie) stumbling off a bus in platform shoes - and we learn that they want to win the big dance contest so they can buy KISS tickets (the film was co-produced by Casablanca Records).  Jeannie is played by Terri Nunn, who later went on to greater fame as the lead singer of Berlin.

We see a married yuppie couple (Dave & Sue) celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary - only he's an uptight cpa and wants her to go home and play with his wooden pepper mill, but she wants to go to the disco and really let loose.

We see two JAPs - Maddy, who spills a cola all over her flat chest and Jennifer (Debra Winger) who sponges it up with a burger! (No photo available)

We see two kinda gay-ish nerds (Carl & Ken) smoking pot as they drive to the disco. Carl is played by songwriter Paul Jabara.  Ken is wearing a yellow sweater.

We see a young, dashing Jeff Goldblum as Tony DiMarco, the owner of The Zoo - a real ladies man with a snazzy sportscar. His Christmas colored suit looks like a Joker costume. Note: Because the club is named The Zoo, a guy in a gorilla suit runs the elevator! Zany!

There's all sorts of silly parking lot chaos outside the Zoo disco, resulting in Tony's precious car taking a few hits - while inside we meet DJ Bobby Speed - who's all psyched because tonight's show is being broadcast live on the radio. Donna sneaks in to see him, and begs him to play her record tonight. He tells her the Commodores (featuring Lionel Ritchie) are tonight's big attraction, not her.

Meanwhile, the high school girls keep getting denied entrance again & again while nerdy Carl declares that the Zoo is "like Disneyland with tits" and then he and Ken put on lip gloss to attract chicks. Huh? Then a guy is shown in drag shaving his chest in the mens' room, but he later gets rejected by dragaphobic Ken.

We soon meet a mismatched computer date couple: a fat trash-collecting asshole named Gus and a pathetic tall bookworm named Shirley. He wants nothing to do with her, but she can't stop clinging to him. At this point I realize that this is LA - but everyone has thick New Yawk accents!

Showing up next is Marv Gomez the Leatherman. Don't ask. The high school girls latch on to Marv and beg him to help them get into the club, so he sneaks them in through the men's room window. Only a Leatherman would think of that!

At some point Donna barges into the booth and starts singing "Love to Love Ya Baby" over the mike and pisses off DJ Bobby. Meanwhile, some roadie dude named Floyd is lost with the Commodores' instruments - and he eventually gets pulled over by the cops, twice - and is accused of stealing the instruments - so he has to demonstrate each one, twice. Racial profiling at its worst.

Some sleazy guy comes onto klutzy Jennifer, but she rejects him. Then Maddy keeps cockblocking her. (Does that word work here? I guess...) The married couple argue and decide go their own ways at the club: Sue gets romanced by Tony, who plans on fucking her, while Jackie the Hygienist Junkie gets Dave to pop pills with her.After striking out with some gals, Leatherman gives Carl & Ken a lesson in how to be gay with a ridiculous dance number in the parking lot.Something happens that makes Bobby the DJ says "the N word" and the he finally gets security to drag Donna away. Shocking!

Back to our blinddate mismatch couple: Shirley is following Gus around. Calls her an "old maid" - then she punches him - and he falls for her. Awww...just like THE LOVE BOAT!

Sue notices that her husband is having a good time and reacts by calling Jackie "a hippie!" Now she wants to go home and Dave doesn't! Tony wants her to stay too–so he can have his filthy way with her! Besides, he has a bet with DJ Bobby that he'll land her!

High school girl Frannie enters dance contest - and somehow suddenly Donna starts singing "Last Dance" over the music, noise & yelling. The DJ likes it - of course - and Donna brings down the house.

The Commodores finally perform when their instruments show up. After Carl gets locked in a stairwell, Debra Winger and Ken hook up. Everybody is doing poppers and dancing. Then the most unorganized dance contest begins. Who's judging? Who's hosting? Gays with tambourines (not Carl & Ken) get disqualified first. What's up with that?Dave (renamed "Babbakazoo" by Jackie) is now high as a kite and he swings across the club on a Tarzan vine - Frannie wins the dance competition and a giant trophy! She declares that "We're Disco Queens Now!" and then she and Jeannie join Marv at another disco for the 1AM dance contest.The married couple reunites, while out in the parking lot, Tony's sportscar self-destructs. As Jennifer and Ken share the last dance, Donna comes back to the booth to fuck the DJ. The end. Can I go home now???

Does any of this make sense? It's all just a silly excuse to have a three-LP soundtrack. I just wonder why no one ever turned it into a weekly TV series. Imagine the possibilities....