Liz Taylor 1932-2011

Let's celebrate the life of the great Liz Taylor by representing a post from four years ago when this blog was called MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU SAY 'HUH?' and I inducted Ms. Taylor into the first "Huh? Hall of Fame".
Well, you just gotta love Liz Taylor. She was a friggin' legend - living a glamourous public life and starring in some of cinema's greatest films like GIANT, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?– not to mention cherished classics like LASSIE COME HOME, NATIONAL VELVET and FATHER OF THE BRIDE. Outside of film, Dame Elizabeth's devotion to ending the AIDS epidemic is truly inspiring and she really is a INTERnational treasure.

Then there's the other Ms. Taylor, the Liz that mades me say "Huh?". This is the Liz Taylor that was friends with Michael Jackson, (Editor's note: this post originally ran in 2007) markets crappy perfume...and the one that married Larry Fortensky. This is the Liz that starred (or appeared in) some of the worst films ever made. The Liz that played Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES movie. A casting choice so bizarre and inept, that many years later and it still makes me say "Huh?" I mean look at the evidence: I rest my case.

But the craziness did not start in Bedrock in 1994. Let's turn the clocks back a bit to 1960 and BUTTERFIELD 8. Liz actually won an Oscar for this film in which she plays a slutty, drunken "fashion model" (aka prostitute) who falls in love an alcoholic son of a working class family who has married into money. Liz made the film to get out of her contract with MGM, so she could jump over to 20th-Century Fox to star in the epic CLEOPATRA (more on this one later). Taylor's conditions for agreeing to make BUTTERFIELD 8 included shooting the film in New York, having control over costumes, hair and giving husband Eddie Fisher (freshly divorced from America's sweetheart Debbie Reynolds) a supporting role. She publicly campaigned against the film: "I hate the girl I play, " she told the press, "This is the most pornographic script I have ever read!" The public, titillated by Taylor and the provocative subject matter, made the film a hit. "I still say it stinks" recanted Liz. After finishing production on BUTTERFIELD 8, Taylor, and freed from MGM's clutches, shew flew to London to begin work on CLEOPATRA, the biggest budgeted film up till that time.

In 1963, Liz also became the highest paid movie star AND worked with future husband Richard Burton (who was cast as Mark Antony) for the first time. The press had a field day when Taylor and Burton began an torrid and scandalous affair during filming – both stars were married to other people at the time!!! The Vatican even accused her of "erotic vagrancy"!!! That's pretty damn cool The production itself was plagued by many problems, and director Joe Mankiewicz' original cut was six hours long. Fox demanded that two hours be cut, which they were, thankfully. When the film was released historians criticized it's inaccuracies, critics attacked the disjointed script and the over-the-top acting was laughed at universally, causing filmgoers to wonder how a film maker could get such great actors to act so badly.

After a string of better films in the mid-60s, Liz and Dick returned to Huh?-ville in 1968 with a little something we like to call BOOM! Freely adapted from Tennessee Williams' play "The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore", BOOM! is the oddest, most pretentious "art film" ever made. It's almost indescribable. But if you EVER get the chance to see it - Run!!!

Liz spent much of the 1970s making mediocre films for theaters and TV, appearing on talks shows, Bob Hope specials and playing herself on HERE'S LUCY. In 1978, she showed up in - of all places - a musical! In A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC, Liz delivers a poorly dubbed rendition of "Send in the Clowns". Isn't it rich?

In 1981, during the peak of the daytime soap opera fad, Liz showed up for a short stint on GENERAL HOSPITAL, playing Helena Cassadine. The character has lived on, though Liz has never revisited the role. After THE FLINTSTONES debacle, Liz participated in an ill-concieved ABC TV-movie aimed at gay men who missed THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Entitled THESE OLD BROADS, this "event" gathered together for the first (and LAST!) time: Liz Taylor, Debbie Reynolds (Liz's longtime nemesis) , Shirley MacLaine (who had played Debbie in POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE) and Joan Collins (who took over the role of Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES sequel). I can recall this being among the two of the most painful hours ever spent in front of the TV - rivaling the infamous MARY & RHODA reunion movie. To top it all off, poor Liz delivered all her scenes from a sickbed!!!

Well, in spite of it all - we still love her and were were proud to have Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor as first inductee into the "Huh?" Hall of Fame! She was an angel and she will be missed.

NBC Fall 1984 - Mondays

Monday nights on NBC in the fall of 1984 were a mixed bag. It all started off with a special called the NBC ALL-STAR HOUR , the biggest party of the year! This hour-long clip show featured over 100 stars and a million laughs. That's 16,666 laughs per minute! Holy shit - that's one funny show!!! As I mentioned yesterday, TV's BLOOPERS & PRACTICAL JOKES premiered earlier in the year and became a big hit for the network. Combining elements stolen for Allen Funt's CANDID CAMERA with clips of actors goofing up their lines, this cheaply produced show was co-hosted by the late Ed McMahon and the formerly ageless Dick Clark.ABC's knock-off FOUL-UPS, BLEEPS & BLUNDERS followed, paving the way for all sorts of horrible shows including LIFE'S MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS, AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS, TOTALLY HIDDEN VIDEO and PUNK'D. BLOOPERS continued on NBC in various timeslots until the late 1990s, occasionally showing up as a special thereafter.
NBC MONDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES followed at 9PM, with a assortment of theatrical film premieres and original TV-movies. Many of NBC's movies from this period were created to give TV stars the opportunity to stretch their acting muscles by taking on meatier roles. Witness HIGH SCHOOL USA (which actually aired as a special on a Friday night).
Here sitcom stars Nancy McKeon (FACTS OF LIFE), Michael J. Fox (FAMILY TIES) and DIFF'RENT STROKES costars Todd Bridges and the late Dano Plato teamed up with Nick at Nite regulars Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver (both of DOBIE GILLIS), Elinor Donahue (FATHER KNOWS BEST) and Tony Dow (LEAVE TO BEAVER). Hilarity ensued.
ONE DAY AT A TIME star and future weight-loss guru Valerie Bertinelli played a horny nun who found herself falling in love with a priest (David Morse) in SHATTERED VOWS. I need to see this one for sure!
SILVER SPOONS brat and future animal killer Ricky Schroeder took on a dramatic role in MY LIFE, YOUR LIFE. I believe this aired under the title A REASON TO LIVE. DAYS OF OUR LIVES / ELECTRA WOMAN & DYNA GIRL star Deidre Hall played his mom. Peter Fonda played the dad.
Former CHARLIE'S ANGEL and K-Mart designer Jaclyn Smith took on the role of history's most famous nurse in FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE. This historical epic ran three long hours!
DYNASTY diva Joan Collins teamed up with KNIGHT RIDER star and future drunken reality-show judge David Hasselhoff in something called THE CARTIER HEIST. I think it was a comedy. Other made-for-TV movies and miniseries airing during the season included:• I DREAM OF JEANNIE: 15 YEARS LATER - Barbara Eden returned, Larry Hagman did not. Wayne Rogers was a poor substitute Major Nelson.
• THE BURNING BED - the amazing film that made people finally take the late Farrah Fawcett seriously as an actress.• A.D. - 12 hours of the Roman Empire with a cast that included the great Susan Sarandon along with Ava Gardner and James Mason!• EVERGREEN - 6 hours of Lesley Ann Warren as a Polish immigrant flocked by Armand Assante and Ian McShane. Is it me, but weren't Assante and McShane in just about EVERY miniseries in the 1980s??? Tomorrow: the Tuesday-night line-up!

The Return of THE DOLLAR TREE Double Feature

From September 2007.On a visit to the local Dollar Tree Store, I found an entire endcap of TWO FOR A DOLLAR dvds. After digging through hundreds, I actually found only two worth buying...and reviewing. Ladies and gentlemen I bring you The Dollar Tree Double Feature.

First up...EVEL KNIEVEL! Ever wonder how (the late) motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel got his start? Well director Marvin J. Chomsky attempted to tell us all about it in this 1971 biopic which combines unintentional laughs as George Hamilton (looking a lot like Count Chocula) wears the helmet and real chills with clips of actual stunts (most of which end up with Knievel in the hospital). The film traces real events from Evel's life, from his early years as troubled young man to his success as the man with more broken bones in his body than anyone else.

There's plenty of white trash antics as we flashback to Evel's roots, and his career as a unsuccessful bank robber. At times I felt like I was watching an episode of MY NAME IS EVEL. The best scene involves young Evel busting into the all-girls home where his lady Linda lives. The den mother (let's call her Mrs. Garrett) seems more concerned that "there's a man in the house" than the fact that he's driving his cycle up and down the staircase and hallways looking for his gal. Another highlight is the decor of the apartment that Evel shares with his lady: one wall was black, one wall a brilliant blue and the third wall: wood paneling. The sofa? yellow leather! I kid you not. Just for that set decoration alone, this one gets 8 out of 10 "Huhs?". Also - there's a terrible theme song that we are treated to at least three times throughout the 90 minutes.

Our second feature has the unfortunate title IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME. Which of course, prompts one to ask "What time was that?". John Trent directed this 1976 Canadian romp which features John Candy (in his first film role) prominently displayed on the cover - despite him being in only two or three scenes.

The plot goes something like this: Anthony Newley (Joan Collin's real-life ex) plays a washed up writer is still shagging his ex-wife money-hungry Stefanie Powers, who is unhappily remarried to a wealthy construction contractor, who's sole aim seems to be to tear down her mother's house! Are you following this? Georgia then decides to support a candidate for mayor (Llyod Bochner, who married Collins on DYNASTY) by screwing him. Newley pulls a assortment of stunts in order to attract Stefanie's attention. Somewhere along the way, there's a crazy kidnapping scam, and two dopey cops (one played by Candy) show up to save the day. There's a madcap finale involving cops dressed as garbage men. Oh boy! Issac Hayes appears as Newley's artist friend and Yvonne DeCarlo (aka Lily Munster) has a few scenes as Stef's mother.

This is the kind of wild film farces that Americans and Brits made in the 1960s - it took our friends up north a bit longer to catch on. The tiresome slapstick is a bit much to take at times, as is seeing Newley with his shirt off. This one rates only about 5 out of 10 "Huhs?" - meaning it's bad, but not worth your time and effort to watch it. Even though it might seem like a good idea at the time...

The HUH? Hall of Fame: LIZ TAYLOR

Well, you just gotta love Liz Taylor. She's a friggin' legend - living a glamourous public life and starring in some of cinema's greatest films like GIANT, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?– not to mention cherished classics like LASSIE COME HOME, NATIONAL VELVET and FATHER OF THE BRIDE. Outside of film, Dame Elizabeth's devotion to ending the AIDS epidemic is truly inspiring and she really is a INTERnational treasure.

Then there's the other Ms. Taylor, the Liz that makes me say "Huh?". This is the Liz Taylor that's friends with Michael Jackson, markets crappy perfume...and the one that married Larry Fortensky. This is the Liz that starred (or appeared in) some of the worst films ever made. The Liz that played Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES movie. A casting choice so bizarre and inept, that 13 years later and it still makes me say "Huh?" I mean look at the evidence: I rest my case.

But the craziness did not start in Bedrock in 1994. Let's turn the clocks back a bit to 1960 and BUTTERFIELD 8. Liz actually won an Oscar for this film in which she plays a slutty, drunken " fashion model" (aka prostitute) who falls in love an alcoholic son of a working class family who has married into money. Liz made the film to get out of her contract with MGM, so she could jump over to 20th-Century Fox to star in the epic CLEOPATRA (more on this one later). Taylor's conditions for agreeing to make BUTTERFIELD 8 included shooting the film in New York, having control over costumes, hair and giving husband Eddie Fisher (freshly divorced from America's sweetheart Debbie Reynolds) a supporting role. She publicly campaigned against the film: "I hate the girl I play, " she told the press, "This is the most pornographic script I have ever read!" The public, titillated by Taylor and the provocative subject matter, made the film a hit. "I still say it stinks" recanted Liz. After finishing production on BUTTERFIELD 8, Taylor, and freed from MGM's clutches, shew flew to London to begin work on CLEOPATRA, the biggest budgeted film up till that time.

In 1963, Liz also became the highest paid movie star AND worked with future husband Richard Burton (who was cast as Mark Antony) for the first time. The press had a field day when Taylor and Burton began an torrid and scandalous affair during filming – both stars were married to other people at the time!!! The Vatican even accused her of "erotic vagrancy"!!! That's pretty damn cool The production itself was plagued by many problems, and director Joe Mankiewicz' original cut was six hours long. Fox demanded that two hours be cut, which they were, thankfully. When the film was released historians criticized it's inaccuracies, critics attacked the disjointed script and the over-the-top acting was laughed at universally, causing filmgoers to wonder how a film maker could get such great actors to act so badly.

After a string of better films in the mid-60s, Liz and Dick returned to Huh?-ville in 1968 with a little something we like to call BOOM! Freely adapted from Tennessee Williams' play "The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore", BOOM! is the oddest, most pretentious "art film" ever made. It's almost indescribable. But if you EVER get the chance to see it - Run!!!

Liz spent much of the 1970s making mediocre films for theaters and TV, appearing on talks shows, Bob Hope specials and playing herself on HERE'S LUCY. In 1978, she showed up in - of all places - a musical! In A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC, Liz delivers a poorly dubbed rendition of "Send in the Clowns". Isn't it rich?

In 1981, during the peak of the daytime soap opera fad, Liz showed up for a short stint on GENERAL HOSPITAL, playing Helena Cassadine. The character has lived on, though Liz has never revisited the role. After THE FLINTSTONES debacle, Liz participated in an ill-concieved ABC TV-movie aimed at gay men who missed THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Entitled THESE OLD BROADS, this "event" gathered together for the first (and LAST!) time: Liz Taylor, Debbie Reynolds (Liz's longtime nemesis) , Shirley MacLaine (who had played Debbie in POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE) and Joan Collins (who took over the role of Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES sequel). I can recall this being among the two of the most painful hours ever spent in front of the TV - rivaling the infamous MARY & RHODA reunion movie. To top it all off, poor Liz delivered all her scenes from a sickbed!!!

Well, in spite of it all - we still love her and are proud to have Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor as our first inductee into the "Huh?" Hall of Fame! Cheers!

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

Time for another family-friendly holiday treat from Barry Mahon - the genius filmmaker who brought us THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ (previously reviewed by Danny). This time we have a wonderfully inept retelling of the storybook classic, JACK AND THE BEANSTALK from 1970.

The movie opens as we meet Jack and his poor white trash family: his mother who looks like a cross between Nannette Fabray and Jean Stapleton and dresses like an orange pilgrim and his greedy and trampy-looking sister Rosemary – who is complaining that no one will EVER want to marry her because she has no dowry. Mom reassures Rosemary that since she's pretty good at doing housework that eventually someone will want her. Thanks for the positive re-inforcement, Mom. Really, thanks.

Jack, meanwhile is a teenage gay-in-training, much like UGLY BETTY's nephew Justin - and he dresses in a plethora of snazzy outfits featuring wide brown stripes and suede with fringes. He's really working the "Peter Brady during puberty" look. The family is distraught cause Papa is dead and they've apparently squandered everything that he left them. Oh, not everything. There were some things that Jack's dad invented like a mechanical goose that can lay golden eggs, a talking golden harp and some other golden crap - but somehow someone stole these things, depriving Rosemary of her oft-mentioned dowry.

Mom then announces it's time to sell the family cow because it gives very little milk these days. So, rather than doing it herself, she enlists Jack to take the cow to town to sell it. Jack then sings a wretched song, looking as if he's as bored as I was.

In a town where the backdrop looks like it was painted by a junior high theater class, we meet Honest John - Used Cow Salesman. Honestly. For some reason Honest John (to be hereafter referred to as "HoJo") dresses like Little Lord Fauntleroy while all the townsfolk got their duds from the 1970 JC Penney catalog. Then HoJo "sings" some terrible song and gets Jack to accept a handful of "magic" beans instead of cash for the cow. HoJo then proceeds sells the cow to Cat Stevens for $30.

Meanwhile, back home, Rosemary is still complaining about NEVER getting married. Oh shut the FUCK up already! When Jack returns home he tells them about his great magic bean deal with HoJo and Mom and Rosemary basically call him a stupid asshole - which he is.

Next we see HoJo walking around some cave trying to decide where to hide his "Used Cow" sign. This goes on for about five minutes until Jack and his sister, obviously spelunking, come across the cave and his sign. Then they go home. Huh?

A cuckoo clock on fast-forward tells us that time has passed. Mom - still in her orange gown from yesterday - opens up the dining room shudders to reveal a bad oil-painting of a landscape! Rosemary then shows up in her same clothes from yesterday...eww. Mom's so pissed at Jack and the whole bean situation that she chucks them out the window- where they instantly sprout into a big vine made up of fake ivy from Joann's Fabrics. Jack of course decides to climb it while singing another dreadful song - not even noticing the painting of a castle behind him. Then he turns, sees it and decides to head towards it - in a manner that could be described as "a spastic shuffle". Was it a long distance to travel or was the cloud-cover ground all sticky? We'll never know. He repeats this odd way of "walking" several times throughout the movie. Making me scream "Huh?"!

Meanwhile, Mom beats herself up for scolding Jack and letting him go up the beanstalk. Too late, Mom.

So Jack makes his way to the castle, opens the door and sees a kindly woman cleaning up. Then we see the "giant" - who's really just a Silver Lake Bear - a chubby, hairy guy who shouts a lot to get attention. The giant (to be hereafter referred to as "The Bear") sits in an oversized chair, and uses oversize utensils - making him seem rather small. Wait... shouldn't his hand props be SMALL to make him look BIG? Oh never mind. Another big "Huh?" Oh then he sings a horrendous version of "Fee Fi Fo Fum" for the first of three times.

So after he eats his meal, his "wife" brings The Bear his golden goose (a papier-mâché blob about the size of a chicken). It then lays him a golden egg! Jack decides this must be his father's invention and steals it as The Bear takes a nap. When Jack carries the goose it's suddenly a turkey-size papier-mâché blob, meaning that the giant isn't really that much bigger than Jack. Jack slowly climbs down the stalk in the first of several long uncomfortable shots that seem to linger on his very tight, form-fitting trousers. When The Bear awakes he announces that "if I find him - I'll crush his balls" - or at least that's what I heard.

The family welcomes Jack home and the goose lays a golden egg for them. Yippee! It's like winning Lotto...with a stolen ticket. Meanwhile, HoJo tells Rosemary he's starting a new business - selling Magic Beans. She tells him to get lost cause she's now engaged to be married. Huh? Then a couple who look like Joan Collins and Sonny Bono refuse to buy HoJo's beans. We then learn that HoJo gets his beans cheaply and upsells 'em! Boo! Hiss!

We next meet Rosemary's hunky boyfriend, who first tells her that her lack of a dowry doesn't matter - but it would help if she were rich because then they could buy an inn and run it together. So they send Jack back up to steal more gold shit from The Bear.

This time The Bear is eating fried "Creepy Crawlers". After his meal, his poor wife brings him his magic harp, which sings to him as he counts his gold. What the heck does he spend his gold on anyway? Are there any other people up in giant land? Where does his wife shop? Costco? Big Lots? Giant Depot?

Jack makes it back home with The Bear's gold in time for a party - Mom's gone all Martha - serving finger sandwiches, punch and a Red Velvet wedding cake. Everyone is dressed in fancy pajamas and nightgowns, as all the townsfolk dance to accordian music. It's like THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW meets the birthday party scene from PINK FLAMINGOS. Meanwhile, The Bear is rigging a trap for Jack, in case he ever comes back to steal something else!

Time passes and Rosemary and her husband (?) are discussing whether or not to serve liquor at their bar. Huh? Meanwhile, HoJo continues to piss off the townsfolk - so they decide to have a meeting about getting rid of him. It's about time, people. More time passes, and we learn that the Inn isn't doing well because there's no "live entertainment". So Rosemary and this other girl get a plastic cup and fill it with - oh wait. Wrong video.

So, finally Jack decides to grab the damn singing harp to help out his miserable thankless bitch of a sister once more. Then HoJo gives a boring soliloquy about something and that's the last we see of him. Jack manages to grab the harp, but The Bear wakes up and starts climbing down the vine...oh no!!! Will the townfolks meet The Bear face-to-face?

No way - cause Jack runs out, chops the vine down and The Bear falls to his death. Then the entire cast crawls out of the woodwork for a song about "happy endings"...and Jack mentions that he fells bad for the wife because she happened to "hook up with the wrong guy". Huh?

Wow - did I mention this was only 63 minutes long? Worth watching if only to see how misguided an attempt at modernizing a classic fairy tale with no budget, painfully bad songs and first-time non-actors could turn out. It's THAT bad. 5 out of 10 "Huhs?"

HOW AWFUL ABOUT ALLAN

Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Olivia DeHavilland, Shelley Winters, Agnes Moorehead, Tallulah Bankhead, Geraldine Page, Ruth Gordon - these were the women of Grand Guignol - macabre cinematic tales of subtle terror and sudden shocks starring faded Hollywood stars who were ripe for a comeback vehicle. But what if a man starred as the victims in one of these twisted tales?

That would bring us to Anthony Perkins starring in HOW AWFUL ABOUT ALLAN, directed by Curtis Harrington ( also WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HELEN? and WHOEVER SLEW AUNTIE ROO?) and produced by Aaron Spelling for the ABC MOVIE OF THE WEEK.

Perkins plays Allan, who has been blinded in a fire that killed his brilliant father and left his sister Katherine (Julie Harris) disfigured. Allan is in a hospital and declares that he doesn't want to see anyone. Has he forgotten about his blindness? After 8 months, he's released from the hospital and goes home to live with Katherine, who wears a big pink plastic patch over her burn scar. She tells Allan that she has been renting out rooms to students to help pay the bills. She has closed off the room where Daddy got cooked. Allan begins recording a diary about all the fun he's having since his return home. He seems to spend most of his time drinking coffee and modeling pajamas for his ex fiancee Olive (Joan Hackett from THE LAST OF SHEILA - dressing like Eliza Doolittle here).

Allan's sight still isn't perfect (he sees things as if he were looking through a bumpy piece of frosted glass) and the new whispering "roomer" Harold Dennis makes him as uncomfortable as the wallpaper in the house makes us. I've decide to nickname this film I HEARD A ROOMER.

Allan decides to find out more about this college student, so STILL PARTIALLY BLINDED, he gets behind the wheel of his car and drives to the nearby campus, causing a few accidents. Back home, Allan figures out that the student isn't real , but maybe he's Katherine's lover Eric Walters! Lots creepy shadows appear inside the house (ghosts?) and then Allan cuts his hand on a carving knife. Olive the ex comes to his rescue.

Later, there is a storm and blind Allan winds up outside in the rain - and pinned under a downed tree. We now flashback to his childhood and witness the abuse and torment foisted upon him by his father and sister! What a couple of evil bastards those two are!

The whole thing leads to a climax that is a homage to PSYCHO - right down to the swinging light fixture -and the killer and his/her motives are revealed. Shocking! Not.

ALLAN is fun little footnote that is worth watching (if you can find it). It probably would have been a lot more fun with a old woman in the lead role, but I guess Aaron Spelling hadn't hooked up with Joan Collins yet. I'll give it 7 out 10 "Huhs?"

The Dollar Tree Double Feature

On a recent visit to the local Dollar Tree Store, I found an entire endcap of TWO FOR A DOLLAR dvds. After digging through hundreds, I actually found only two worth buying...and reviewing. Ladies and gentlemen I bring you The Dollar Tree Double Feature.

First up...EVEL KNIEVEL! Ever wonder how motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel got his start? Well director Marvin J. Chomsky attempted to tell us all about it in this 1971 biopic which combines unintentional laughs as George Hamilton (looking a lot like Count Chocula) wears the helmet and real chills with clips of actual stunts (most of which end up with Knievel in the hospital). The film traces real events from Evel's life, from his early years as troubled young man to his success as the man with more broken bones in his body than anyone else.

There's plenty of white trash antics as we flashback to Evel's roots, and his career as a unsuccessful bank robber. At times I felt like I was watching an episode of MY NAME IS EVEL. The best scene involves young Evel busting into the all-girls home where his lady Linda lives. The den mother (let's call her Mrs. Garrett) seems more concerned that "there's a man in the house" than the fact that he's driving his cycle up and down the staircase and hallways looking for his gal. Another highlight is the decor of the apartment that Evel shares with his lady: one wall was black, one wall a brilliant blue and the third wall: wood paneling. The sofa? yellow leather! I kid you not. Just for that set decoration alone, this one gets 8 out of 10 "Huhs?". Also - there's a terrible theme song that we are treated to at least three times throughout the 90 minutes.

Our second feature has the unfortunate title IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME. Which of course, prompts one to ask "What time was that?". John Trent directed this 1976 Canadian romp which features John Candy (in his first film role) prominently displayed on the cover - despite him being in only two or three scenes.

The plot goes something like this: Anthony Newley (Joan Collin's real-life ex) plays a washed up writer is still shagging his ex-wife money-hungry Stefanie Powers, who is unhappily remarried to a wealthy construction contractor, who's sole aim seems to be to tear down her mother's house! Are you following this? Georgia then decides to support a candidate for mayor (Llyod Bochner, who married Collins on DYNASTY) by screwing him. Newley pulls a assortment of stunts in order to attract Stefanie's attention. Somewhere along the way, there's a crazy kidnapping scam, and two dopey cops (one played by Candy) show up to save the day. There's a madcap finale involving cops dressed as garbage men. Oh boy! Issac Hayes appears as Newley's artist friend and Yvonne DeCarlo (aka Lily Munster) has a few scenes as Stef's mother.

This is the kind of wild film farces that Americans and Brits made in the 1960s - it took our friends up north a bit longer to catch on. The tiresome slapstick is a bit much to take at times, as is seeing Newley with his shirt off. This one rates only about 5 out of 10 "Huhs?" - meaning it's bad, but not worth your time and effort to watch it. Even though it might seem like a good idea at the time...