SUPERCHICK

As a Friday the 13th treat, here's a post I originally ran 4 years ago...when I had time to "review" movies...

From the title and poster one would assume that SUPERCHICK was either a WONDER WOMAN parody or a white FOXY BROWN knockoff. In reality, SUPERCHICK has a lot more in common with THE HAPPY HOOKER. A few minutes into the story, we quickly learn that the "joke" of this movie is that things aren't always as they first appear. For instance, at first we see a sexy brunette stewardess...but soon she disappears into a phone booth...and emerges as a sexy blonde in a Black Canary costume. 

Unfortunately the black fishnets do not cover her bruised legs. Ouch. Next we think we are seeing drinks being poured in an elegant restaurant, but the camera pulls back to reveal: it's a bathtub in a fancy suite owned by a brain surgeon who has Thomas Gainsboro "Blue Boy" hanging over his toilet. 

So here we learn that Superchick is sleeping with him in this yellow wallpaper and shag carpeting paradise. I think he asks her to marry him, but I'm not sure since my notes are kinda sloppy tonight. She tells the good doctor - "I feel like an Avon Lady in Sun City." Huh???

From there we see Tom Jones (really Tony Young from POLICEWOMEN as Johnny) in bed with a topless woman who looks like a big-titted Barbara Barrie in her BARNEY MILLER days (actually it's porn legend Candy Samples!). 

Soon Superchick aka Tara B. True arrives in Miami in her stewardess guise. Meanwhile, Johnny puts on a sexy stripe sweater and goes to meet with the Gay Mafia who dress in red and mustard.

They look like plastic condiment dispensers. Johnny gets pissed at them and as they drive away in their fancy car he yells "Fags!" Tara next turns up on Johnny's boat wearing only a fishing net with "floats" on her tits, vagina and ass. Then we think we see skidmarks on Johnny's tighty whities as he mounts her.

This is followed by an endless montage of them doing Miami type things like running on the beach, water skiing, playing tennis, dancing, gambling and drinking. When Johnny asks her to marry him she makes up some Shakespeare quote.

Then Johnny parks in "the white zone" at the airport - and Tara's back in her stewardess uniform (we learn she works for Crown International Airlines - a clever play on the company that distributed the film). 

On the plane, she offers a drink to a rude old man and then fucks a cute marine in the airplane restroom. She arrives at LAX and is greeted by another boyfriend - this one's a rock star who looks like he possibly has Down's Syndrome. Next she's kicking ass in karate class. Huh?

At this point one of my co-viewers declares "I've got no idea what is going on!!!" The rest of us are also confused, so we decide to recount everything that has happened so far...

1) A stewardess gets into a phonebooth and changes.

2) She's brunette, and then she's blonde.

3) She's eating dinner in a bathtub discussing fine art.

4) She flew to Miami.

5) She met the Tom Jones lookalike who was fucking a cow.

6) Tom loses money on dog races and hates fags.

7) He's either a drunk or just tired from the Miami montage

8) She flew to LA to meet the Down's Syndrome guy

9) Oh, she fucked a marine on the plane

10) Oh, she quotes Shakespeare, we think.

11) She met a Chinese guy played by a Hawaiian actor.

We conclude that there is a difference between "actual plot" and "things happening". I think we're all caught up now. But nothing explains this new guy who looks like Norm McDonald playing Burt Reynolds. Then somebody in the movie (I don't remember who) says "Holy shit!" to the camera. He ain't kidding!

At this point, I decide to Google our lead actress Joyce Jillson -pwho turns out to be Joyce Jillson - celebrity astrologer. Joyce was an author of a nationally syndicated astrology column which appeared in nearly 200 newspapers including the LA Times and the NY Daily News! She also was Ronald Reagan's official psychic!!! administration! She died in 2004. Wow...Who knew?

Back to the movie - and her big white stewardess bag. Soon a black guy pays special attention to her. Next we see a woman being whipped - but it's not what you think - it's the set of a porn movie! Tensions are high, especially when the porn actress calls her male lead a "fag". Tara then gets advice from the leading lady "to get into Show Business, you gotta SHOW your BUSINESS!"

Next Tara's at a wild hippy party which looks like it's at a disco - but the camera pulls back to reveal - it's somebody's house! Here she and the black dude, let's call him "Jimi Hendrix", finally hook up as he offers her a joint. (There's even a Hendrix poster on the wall behind them) So then they have a deep moment as she sips a Tab from a straw. 

Things get out of hand when the "heat freaks" (aka "cops") show up and bust everyone, but Tara changes back into her stewardess get-up and escapes. Then she gets "flashed". I think.

So, the rock star guy is playing the piano badly, then they fuck inside of it. NOT on top of it, but INSIDE of it, which must hurt. Downs guy wants to marry her too! EVERYBODY wants to marry Tara! Then she rants over Bolero type music and they fuck more.

Next we meet old John Carradine, who is dressed as a Russian Czar. 

There's fight that involves him and his stunt double, but we can't figure out what it's all about. Then the Gay mafia shows up again on a plane and there's a little boy who also possibly has Down's Syndrome just starring at the camera. What is going on here???

Okay, Tara gets off the plane and it's SO WINDY that her tits pop out of her uniform! Suddenly all three boyfriends are there and she tells them she can't marry them - because she loves them ALL! "Life is made up of people, not ONE person". Oh - so that's what this movie was about all along...now I get it. Wow...I love Superchick too.

But why is she called SUPERCHICK? She doesn't have any powers or fight crime...she just fucks a lot of guys. Super.

9 outta 10 - mostly for the AMAZING soundtrack and fabulous outfits.

The Happy Hooker Returns

Here's a post from two years ago...in honor of the late Lynn Redgrave. Since it was Feb. 14th and my other half was out of town, I decided to give myself a special Valentine's Day treat. What's more romantic than Lynn Redgrave as THE HAPPY HOOKER (1975, directed by Nicholas Sgarro)? After GEORGY GIRL, but before HOUSE CALLS the TV series, Lynn decided to star in the first of three theatrical films based on the book by real-life hooker Xaviera Hollander. Interestingly, while her sister Vanessa was appearing in high-profile films like MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS and JULIA, Lynn was playing the world's most famous madame. Wonder if they had the same agent?

The dvd starts off promising with a 20th Century Fox logo, followed by a MGM logo (MGM makes great movies, right?) but then the dreaded Cannon Group logo appears and we know we are in for some good, trashy fun. It starts off with a bang as the title theme song "Put Yourself in My Hands" is sung by Mary Olga and goes like this:
"I can make you happy
I can turn you on
Bring me all your troubles
Soon they'll be gone
Put yourself in my hands baby
Whatever you want me to do...I'll do
Put yourself in my hands baby
I'll know how to handle you"

It's Christmastime at the police station and all the hookers are there including April Jones, May Smith and Aurora Goldberg they all give their address as 328 West 80th, except a weepy housewife from White Plains - and presenting Miss Xaviera Hollander!

Flashback to the origin of The Happy Hooker - several years earlier she arrives in America from Holland, fresh-faced and ready to get married...only she's left waiting at the airport. She tells us in voiceover that she "was just a girl who crossed the ocean for a man". When the man (named Carl Gordon) finally arrives, he's gross and rude. He even makes her carry the heavy luggage.


















Then they have sloppy sex while his mother bangs on the wall of the apartment next door. She serves him tiger's milk and yeast as he admires his ugly self in the mirror. He's also on an all-meat diet. What does young X see in this freak? Okay - his apartment is fabulous with a great view. Carl's mom arrives soon to make the bed and see how long X plans on staying....she tells Mrs Gordon that she's Carl's fiancee. Mrs. Gordon is decidedly non-plussed.

Later, at dinner, we learn that Carl calls his mom by her first name, Cheryl. Carl's dad falls asleep at the dinner table and Cheryl is mean to her maid Rosita...and starts insulting X about her weight. GEORGY GIRL flashback? Rosita tries to serve a raw steak to Carl, while Cheryl continues to insult X about everything including the fact that she's from Holland - Carl decides to stay with mother as X marches out the door in a huff. So much for love and marriage.

Back in the present X gets to meet the little ladies of the night in the holding cell. Back to the past, X gets her first apartment and is shown around by a rough young blond who dresses like the Brawny lumberjack who tries to rape her when she offers him a drink. Men are pigs!

Soon X hits the single bars scene where she meets "every Tom, Dick and Harry with a pleasant face and tolerable manner". One her tricks has spent the night. He's dressed like a lawn jockey. Huh?
















Next there's another scene at the city jail where all the tough, sassy black hookers start to harass X as funky soul music plays in the background. Another flashback shows X working at the Dutch consulate - and is trying to type something, but obviously her fingers are meant for other activities. A rich French guy asks her to translate a letter from Dutch for him. "It might as well be Chinese!" If only. I think Frenchie invites X to dinner or something, cause soon they are walking through Central Park and she's dressed like a Pierrot - a French clown! Maybe Frenchie has a clown fetish, because before you know it they are post-coital and embarking on a cruise on his yacht. On the boat we meet Frenchie's snobby, bitchy rich friends - this is starting to remind me of THE LAST OF SHEILA. Wonder who'll get murdered?












Soon X is getting a foot massage from Frenchie and one of his lady friends - Madelaine. After a few days of getting gifts and treats from Prince Frenchie Charming, he gives her an envelope of cash for the pleasure she's given him. "You make me feel like a whore!" and she slaps him. He tells her that she deserves to be spoiled by men. And so, Frenchie gives her number to his friends and she makes the transition "from office girl to working girl".

Tom Poston plays an executive who orders her to get on a boardroom table and strip for him and two other guys as he places money on the table from a suitcase. X is wearing black lace bar and panties with garter belts and fishnet stockings. Her long, stringy hair reminds me of the Sea Hag from Popeye cartoons. He stops her right before she's about to moon him. Then she gives him a stock market report full of double entendres as she slowly puts her clothes back on. He likes this. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.













X rides her bike around the city in various silly outfits. She keeps all her hooker earnings in a cookie jar. A Rutger Hauer-ish looking cop comes to visit her. He inspects her apartment without a search warrant, commenting on her collection of booze and looking for pot. He's on to her hooking ways...and then HE tries to rape her!!! Cops are pigs! Well, men cops, anyway.

Next she dresses real hooker-ish with frosted pink lipstick and fake mole to attend a Park Avenue cocktail party where everyone is dressed in fashion atrocities of the 1970s including one call girl in a macrame dress and another one wearing dozens of pearl necklaces. Not to be outdone, the hostess, Madame Madelaine (played fabulously by the amazingly named Lovelady Powell) dons a stunning sky-blue caftan. We next witness a redhead (the late, great Broadway legend Anita Morris) being made into a human banana split. Madelaine gives X some sage advice: "You don't dress like a hooker in whorehouse!" Best line so far.


















A racist Southern whore (Anita Morris- again?) refuses to do a three-way with a client and a black whore, so X decides to do a slow seductive dance with Aurora to show that she's not prejudiced against blacks nor lesbians (as the sexy song called "One to One" plays). Next X dons a CABARET wig for a hairy client named Harry who dresses in leather, and calls his wife on the phone as X and his German Shepherd bark in the background. A true success, X decides to set out on her own, taking some of Madeline's girls with her and the clients followed. She rides her bike in her fur and leads the hookers in a daily jog. She must be successful, cause she's so eccentric!
















Back in the present - the black hookers yell thing like "bet you ain't got no black ass turning tricks in your high-class fucking house" at X and her posse. New best line so far.
















One of the hookers declares that she thinks Bert and Ernie are fags. Meanwhile, the dirty cop continues to stalk X. Madelaine and X negotiate a business deal over tea and Madelaine announces that she's pregnant from a trick! She asks, "Do you think an old whore could be a good mother?" Okay, newest best line!

At X's Christmas party, Carlos (super-hot Guillermo Irizarry in his one and only acting role to date) the whore house boy entertains us by wearing tight pants and a half shirt, while Vincent Schiavelli gets entertained by a whore who sings "The Happy Hooker" song to him. Meanwhile, Anita Morris gets covered with whip cream, which is washed off by champagne. Three guys wearing Christmas corsages (one has a unibrow) turn out to be undercover cops and bust the girls even after X tries to make it seem like all she serves is drinks. Nice try, X. This is actually a great scene and Lynn's performance here is outstanding.

So back to the present - the hookers are bailed out of jail and a group of little kids follow them down the street "You're all little boys," X says to the shopkeeper who chases the kids away...as "Put Yourself in My Hands" returns to amuse us one last time. After all, it is Christmas! The end.

I gotta say, this was far better than I expected it to be. Lynn Redgrave is so much fun to watch and despite it being about sex workers, there is very little sex and nudity in the film. Actually all the sex scenes take place after the actual sex has happened, and the only two nude scenes feature Anita Morris.



















I'm sure the real true story of Xaviera Hollander (pictured here with Lynn) is a bit more racy and must have had some dark moments, but THE HAPPY HOOKER actually made me feel "happy". Far better than PRETTY WOMAN, but not as good as THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS. I give it 7 outta 10 big hooker with a heart of gold "Huhs?" Happy Valentine's Day! SWAK!

"Your high-class fucking house". Still laughing out loud.

POLICEWOMEN

Another previously posted review. No - not POLICEWOMAN, the awesome nipple-filled NBC TV series from 1974-78 starring Angie Dickinson - but POLICEWOMEN - a groovy nipple-filled exploitation flick from the same year!







































The story starts at a women's prison - where a jailbreak is set in motion. One of the female guards is pretty redhead who resembles the love child of Marcia Cross and Dixie Carter. She takes control of the situation by putting some karate moves on the would-be escapees. A few of the girls make it out and manage to strip naked and change into sexy skin-tight black outfits. After the women guards call in the male officers for help, the girls throw a grenade at them and set off tear gas. Then they head for the roof and blow something up - escaping down the side of the building. Whew! Did I mention one of the girls has a giant Afro?






Then the credits role...we see Sondra Currie, POLICEWOMEN modeling her uniform, a bikini, a raincoat, a dance outfit and an evening gown. This is one of the best opening title sequences...ever!

After the credits we meet the entire Akerfield, CA police department - three dumb cops - Black Cop, Hunky Honky Cop and Fat Cop. They are all sexist pigs who call our hero, Lt. Lacey Bond "honey," "girl" and "troublemaker". Lacey tells the three piggies that she wants to find out what "gut police work is all about" by going on special assignment for them. They doubt that she's capable of handling the case - so they devise a series of tests for her to pass - similar to what Queen Hippolyta came up with to find an Amazon worthy to come to Man's World. So they test her...

Lacey excels at target practice - so much that she blows the head off the target dummy. She then passes the driving test with flying colors after she drives a police car at 40 MPH backwards!!! If that's not enough, she must take on a martial artist named Bill McLardy, who looks like an extra from CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC. At first Bill kicks her ass and then calls her "honey", but then she goes all KILL BILL on him - kicking him in the balls, knocking him down repeatedly and breaking his tooth. So she passes the tests - and they tell her her assignment: she must infiltrate a female mafia that has been smuggling gigantic amounts of gold into the country! Huh? Then a professor (he wears a lab coat and glasses so you know he's smart) gives her a compact that's also a radio and a cigarette lighter that's a micro-miniature transmitter. Cool, just like Q! They tell her they will have the three pigs monitoring her at all times. She's says she's on her own - and she that's just the way she likes it!

Soon, she's on a stakeout with the pigs. We learn that 70 year old Maude Anderson and her 30 year old lover, Doc are behind the whole gold thing. There's a string of indictments against them, but so far no conviction. Looks like Lacey has a challenge ahead of her.

Soon, a chick in a Cadillac convertible attracts Lacey's attention - and she decides to chase her! Huh? The chick is beeping her horn at an old couple in a red Volvo, but she's cut off by the white van, and her car tumbles over a cliff and explodes! The pigs arrive and tell Lacey that the trunk of the car was laced with heroin and that she's responsible for killing the driver. Huh???

After a heated argument with the pigs, Lacey tries to make peace with them, but they are just not having it. Meanwhile, the two escaped convicts pop out of the trunk of another Caddy. We next meet Maude - who looks like a butch cross between Ruth Gordon and Grandma Walton. Maude is sitting in her backyard counting her money while her scantily clad girls frolic in the background. It's like a twisted HODGE PODGE LODGE. The two prisoners are introduced to Maude. When she learns that the Pam (the girl with the Afro) was a hooker, who escaped using a fake pistol - Maude asks "Since when do whores make guns and get involved in jailbreaks?" Hmmm....since when indeed.








Suddenly a crazy Asian girl shows up and begins the most insane racist tirade I've heard since Marge Schott. This is what she says: "I don't want any blacks around here. Blacks are lazy. They spill their guts when they get caught. They have sore feet and big asses. They shuffle and sing spirituals. They stink. I don't give a god damn shit for n******s!" Pam responds "Why honey, I've always said nice thinks about g***s." This was a scene I just needed to watch over and over again.

These two they have a HUGE fight - knocking each other all over the lawn furniture while the rest of the girls cheer them on. Pam beats the living daylights out of the Asian racist girl - and we are happy. Maude is pleased as well, responding "Okay black girl, you got yourself a job." Then we meet Maude's body-obsessed boyfriend, Doc - who is like the gross bastard child of Owen Wilson and Larry the Cable Guy.















After the girls go to their barracks, Doc rambles on about the girls to Maude and how he thinks they are all c***s. This guy is quite a catch, Maudie. Later she yells at him, telling him to stop lifting weights cause he's starting to look like a "dod damn gorilla!" Doc responds by telling her he wants to fuck, but she has a headache AND a sore throat!!! Ewwwwwww...

Meanwhile Lacey wins the pigs over by bringing them food and dressing like a stewardess. Then Lacey and the Hunky Honkey guy Frank are assigned to an undercover mission on Catalina! Back at girl camp, the other escapee (Janette) gives Pam a makeover while another girl slips into the shower with Doc. He resists and she calls him a fag. I'm calling GLAAD tomorrow. We're off to Catalina where Frank and Lacey play tourists - riding bikes, sailing a catamaran, eating shrimp cocktail, riding horses, eating wieners, swimming, drinking cognac - all as romantic music plays in the background. Then they fuck and drink Asti Spumanti and have "pillow talk" where he tells her that she's "a lady with a mission"...and a trick pelvis! Later they are tanning and drinking Tabs when Frank notices a call girl that's he's arrested before on another boat! Huh? Then the hooker notices him!!! From another boat- without binoculars!!! Is this possible at all? So then we have a high-speed game of chicken, which ends with Frank jumping on the other boat. The girls soon gang up on him, hitting him with oars and chains. Hot.

Lacey comes to Frank's rescue with her karate-chopping ways. She kicks ALL their asses very handily, takes the 5 girls prisoner and calls for help on her compact! Then a Paul Lynde look-a-like calls Maude to give her some information about the cops closing in on her. Maude is annoyed that she has to leave her tennis match - but escapes in a VW and then a seaplane! They manage to lure Lacey to their lair, where Doc ties her up and beats her mercilessly. Maude declares "that's enough, for now."

The two escaped cons (Janette and Pam) then recognize Lacey - but think she's one of them! Maude offers her a job - and she accepts! The girls then have a party, and over dinner Janette realizes that Lacey's a cop...and SO IS PAM!!! That's why the title is POLICEWOMEN, not POLCEWOMAN!!! Then Pam and Janette have fight and Janette falls off a cliff. Did I mention Pam is wearing a "Black Pride" tee shirt?

So - turns out Pam is working for the Secret Service - tracking Maude's gold shipments. We find out that the gold is coming in via stock footage of submarines!!! Soon the girls are unloading the gold from the sub and dressing in army uniforms - but Doc discovers that Lacey has a tracking device...the lighter! Maude pulls a gun on them and tells them they are going shove them off a cliff. Lots of cliff in this film, no?

In the back of a convoy of Army trucks, Lacey kicks Doc's ass and Pam grabs the gun from Maude. Then Lacey gives a karate chop to the driver...and they jump from truck to truck, hijacking the convoy. Lacey next takes on the racist Asian chick - getting the final word on that one.

Later, Lacey tells the pigs where the rest of the gold is and Frank tells her that hey are going to be working together again soon. Set up for a sequel??? Then they fuck in a cop car. Meanwhile, Maude is hauled off to jail - and tells Doc that next time they'll try diamonds!

This one's a winner. 9 outta 10 in my book. Rent it, buy it, love it.

THE DAYDREAMER Dreams Again

THE DAYDREAMER (1966) is a recently re-discovered obscure feature by *Animagic* inventors Rankin-Bass (of RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER fame). The film opens with a likable title song by recently deceased Las Vegas crooner Robert Goulet and some great Al Hirschfeld caricatures of the all-star cast.

After the song (in a live action segment), we discover it's 1801 Denmark and we meet pathetic Papa Andersen the shoemaker (commie "witch hunt" victim Jack Gilford) and his young son Chris (15 year old Paul O'Keefe of THE PATTY DUKE SHOW) - who we soon discover ALWAYS wears the same snug red polyester tights and suspenders, even underneath his nightshirt! Papa is visited by Elmira Gulch herself when Margaret Hamilton comes a knockin' looking for her shoes, only Papa's such a rotten shoemaker that they are not fixed yet. We also suspect that Chris' mom left Papa cause he's such a loser. Gilford, usually very charming, seems as though he's reading from cue cards here.

After Papa tells him of the legendary Garden of Paradise, narcoleptic Chris is visited by an animated version of the Sandman (voiced by Cyril Ritchard)- who tells him that in order to be happy and successful he MUST find the Garden of Paradise. So Chris falls asleep on a boat - and is transformed into an living, breathing Animagic character! Only it doesn't last too long because his boat crashes and he drowns. The End.

So Chris is dead, and The Little Mermaid (voiced by Disney sweetheart Hayley Mills) discovers his lifeless body. After her father (Burl Ives, phoning it in as Father Neptune) tells her that there's no hope for Chris, she makes a deal with the fabulously goth Sea Witch (Talullah Bankhead, giving Pat Caroll's Ursula a run for her money) who brings Chris back to life. They then swim around and the "Ariel" falls in love with the formerly dead boy. He tells her to fuck off cause he's just not into her, besides he's got a garden to find. So he breaks her heart and wakes up all wet in a boat.

Back in the real world, Chris next befriends an ugly duckling. But then he falls asleep again, this time falling in with two conniving tailors (voiced by Terry Thomas and Victor Borge) who are busy designing the Emperor's New Clothes. Chris and the tailors pull a fast one on the narcissistic king (Ed Wynn), but get exposed themselves when a little kid alerts the townsfolk to their scheme. Chris then awakens (in the real world) and gets arrested for poaching a duck!!!

In the most bizarre live action sequence in the film - Chris is tied up bondage style and dragged through town while singing a show tune about being unlucky while back-up dancers perform an elaborate Fosse-like routine around him. The scene MUST be seen to be believed!

So Chris falls asleep again, this time he meets up with Thumbelina (voiced by Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara). Thumby shrinks him down to her size and the two meet up with a Rat (Boris Karloff) who pimps her out to a Mole, who plans on marrying Thumby. Meanwhile, they find a dead sparrow and Thumby touches it and covers it with her sweater. Didn't she ever hear that children shouldn't play with dead things??? Disturbing. Following a musical number by bats - the dead sparrow comes back to life because of Thumby's sweater. Huh? Somehow the wedding doesn't happen and Chris learns the valuable lesson that "your size has nothing to do with your true happiness." Hmmm...that's not what all those emails in my in-box say...

So eventually Chris gets to his Garden of Paradise - where there are cotton candy trees, monotone peacocks, butterflies, blue marshmallows and the Tree of Knowledge!!! He is told (by an off-screen voice) that he must not eat EVER the blossoms from the tree. This story is starting to sound awfully familiar.

After pledging that he won't eat the blossoms, Chris does a little dance - and is visited by a horny and devilish version of himself. Of course Horny Chris convinces our hero to eat the thing. So he eats it and after a fiery apocalyptic finale - he's banished to The Land of Nothingness!!! Wakes then up in reality, where Papa is arrested and shackled to Chris. Papa saves them both by bribing the warden with his wife's wedding ring. Guess Mama Anderson's not coming back after all. We then learn that Chris grows up to become Hans Christian Andersen!!! Wow...I did not see that coming!

(Not sure if the above photo of Danny Kaye has anything to do with this production, but I'm including it anyways).
I was really hoping to love this film. After recently watching MAD MONSTER PARTY? for Halloween and looking forward to my annual viewings of their Christmas TV classics, Rankin-Bass usually can do no wrong. But I think the uneven performances and choppy storytelling really make parts of this unwatchable. They probably thought they were making the next WIZARD OF OZ or MARY POPPINS - but ended up making something that would alternately bore and frighten little kids, their target audience. I'll give this one 6 outta 10 on my scale mostly for the awesome bondage musical number.

Two interesting notes: In another WIZARD OF OZ nod, Ray Bolger has a brief cameo as The Pie Man. Parts of THE DAYDREAMER were filmed on location at the Denmark Exhibit at the 1964 New York World's Fair.

Liza & Rosie Cartoon Show (The Parody Returns)

It's been a year since the much-maligned ROSIE LIVE! TV special aired on NBC. This was a horribly conceived and executed ego trip for hostess Rosie O'Donnell. Our friend Marc over at Deep Dish has already dissected it admirably last year. Rosie's first guest of the evening Liza Minnelli was one of the few bright spots of the hour. Seeing Liza and Rosie together brought back memories of a little-known project these two odd gay icons did a few years back.

Yes-THE LIZA AND ROSIE CARTOON SHOW, a hidden gem from the Hanna-Barbera vault. The show only lasted six episodes, so it's not as well-loved as classics like CLUE CLUB or FRED & BARNEY MEET THE SCHMOO, but the show has it's small, loyal cult of fans.

The premise of the show is this: Liza gets out of rehab and all her gay ex-husbands and boyfriends have gone on tour with JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS, so she turns up on the steps of her good friend Rosie, the "queen of nice" - who gladly takes in the dynamic diva. Hilarity ensues as the two learn to get along despite Liza's zany antics and Rosie's "niceness".Episode # 1 "The Puss-Hide-Ing Adventure" - Liza has a gig performing on a cruise ship, and Rosie wants to join her - only she can't afford a ticket cause she was fired from from her latest TV show. Rosie and her conservative kitty Hasselbeck become stowaways, but things get turned upside down when Rosie trips over her pussy and causes the ship to flip over. Liza saves the day by singing "There's Got to Be a Morning After".Episode #2 "The Flowering Inferno" - Liza plants a poppy garden, but loudmouth Rosie accidentally lights it on fire while practicing fire-eating for her gender-bending stage role as Gene Simmons in a production of "KISS Me Kate".Episode # 3 "I Dream of Sweeney" - After a freak accident Rosie acquires the powers of a genie, BUT she can only turn things into meat pies. Luckily Liza is having a soiree to honor Stephen Sondheim-only he's allergic to meat! Rosie has a hair-brain scheme to save the day! Will she succeed?Episode #4 "Rosie's Panic Room" - When Jodie Foster stops by on her way to the Dinah Shore golf tournament, Rosie accidently locks her in a panic room. Who's gonna host the pool party now???Episode #5 "Liza Gets Her Mountie" - On a visit Canada to purchase over-the-counter drugs, Rosie backs out of her commitment to "mule" and, as a cover-up, Liza has to recruit the locals to perform a rousing number from "The Rink."

Episode # 6 "The Old Soft Shell" - When Liza's tap dance instructor gives her a wicked case of crabs, so she must fumigate the house. Only Rosie's Tom Cruise & Koosh Ball Enthusiasts Society meeting is scheduled for the same afternoon! Could this be the last straw for these mismatched roommates??? I certainly hope not!!!

PUFNSTUF Revisited

Isn't summer supposed to be about reruns anyhow? Having just re-watched the PUFNSTUF movie, now that it is officially released on dvd, I've decided to repeat my original post from way back in 2007 (with some added extras!)Based on the smash hit Saturday morning kiddie series, PUFNSTUF brought the trippy Sid & Marty Krofft creation to the big screen in 1970. Hollingsworth Morse, who directed the TV series (and later many episodes of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD) expanded on the formula of bright colors, fast edits, sped-up film, and LSD-inspired musical numbers that made the NBC series so successful. To appeal to parents and gay men, they added Mama Cass Elliott and Martha Raye to the cast. Yay!This story begins with Jimmy (played by Jack Wild of OLIVER! fame), a young English runaway, frolicking near the edge of a river with his flute. Suddenly the flute comes to life and begins talking - naming itself "Freddie". It also transforms into gold and grows diamonds on it's um, shaft. Jimmy them hops aboard a beautiful magic talking boat that wants to take him out to sea. Of course, Jimmy decides to take "the trip"...not a drug reference in any way, shape or form.
We learn that this boat actually belongs to Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes - giving her performance 1000%), who then turns the pretty boat into a dark, evil boat (i.e. a "bad trip") that traps Jimmy! Jimmy somehow manages to escape from the boat and is aided by a magical go-go boot wearing talking dragon named Pufnstuf (sounding here like Huckleberry Hound) and two "cops" named Cling & Clang (don't ask). Jimmy ends up on the shores of Living island - where everything is alive!
We soon discover that Witchiepoo is after Freddie the Flute to impress Boss Witch (Raye) and her friend Witch Hazel (Cass) - who are coming to visit for an annual witches' convention! What follows are actually some terrific musical numbers- the best being the anthemic "Different" by Mama Cass and "Zap the World" (which sounds amazingly like the WONDER WOMAN theme song, also written by Charles Fox). Oh - there's also a scene with Jimmy in drag. Very, very disturbing. For that alone I give it 9 out of 10 on my scale.

Overall, not a great film for today's kids (who would not have a clue who or what Pufnstuf is), but if you grew up watching the TV show, this is certainly a curiosity worth checking out. I was actually not a big fan of the show - something about the mix of real people and oversize puppets interacting always freaked me out. I preferred my weekly Krofft dosage in human form like ELECTRA WOMAN & DYNA GIRL and DR. SHRINKER, thank you. Also, I was never really sure what Pufnstuf was supposed to be - he looked more like Mayor McCheese than any dragon I ever saw. I also had it in my head that the show wasn't made in Hollywood - but in some strange European country where things weren't quite right. Oddly enough, the shows were show right here in the San Fernando Valley.

Exhibit A: Do these this theme song lyrics make ANY sense? "H.R. Pufnstuf, Who's your friend when things get rough? H.R. Pufnstuf Can't do a little cause he can't do enough." I rest my case. Besides, characters are always singing the praises of Pufnstuf as if he's some sort of messiah, but he actually doesn't do much more than hang around and look creepy.On a side note, any true Cass Elliot fan should seek out this movie, since it was her only big-screen appearance. One wonders what would her career had been like if she didn't die so tragically young? Would she have made more films? Would she have become what Bette Midler eventually became? Would she have attracted legions of gay fans and made Disney films? Would she have hosted her own Sid & Marty Krofft variety series? Would she have played Mama Rose on Broadway? Or would PUFNSTUF become the high point in her post-Mamas & the Papas career? Sadly, the world will never know...

HBO's MR. SHOW did an excellent parody of the Pufnstuf called "The Altered State Of Druggachusetts". You can watch it here.