Gonna Party Like It's SPACE:1999

From 2009...but updated today!

I've never been a real sci-fi geek, but I know what I like. In terms of films, I always preferred LOGAN'S RUN over STAR WARS. So freeze me in carbonite. On TV, I liked the original STAR TREK, but can say I've ever even watched any of the revivals. I just never found them that appealing. Sorry. I'm not saying they're bad, I just didn't feel the need to watch 'em. I also can honestly say I've never watched any of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA shows - old or new. I know how the recent show is supposed to amazing and all that, and I may get around to watching it one day - but I just don't have the bandwidth right now. I did absolutely love V - at least the miniseries before it became a weekly, but the ABC revival didn't interest me much. I mean once you know that they're lizards, what's the point?

As a kid, I was quite a bit obsessed with the short-lived British import, SPACE: 1999. My recollections of the show are a bit cloudy, but I do recall that I loved the way it looked, but was a bit bored by the talkiness of the show. After all I was 11 years old at the time.

SPACE: 1999 ran for two seasons from 1975-77. In the show's storyline, there is a totally catastrophic nuclear/lunar accident that takes place on September 13, 1999 (16 years ago today!) that knocks the moon out of its orbit and flings the inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha into the far stretches of outer space. Then the fun begins!

The first season opening title sequence is one of the best in all TV history.

For some reason they decided to mess with greatness and create another totally awesome open sequence for season two. Still great, but not nearly as powerful as the first.

Then-married US TV stars Martin Landau and Barbara Bain (both of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE fame) headlined the show in an attempt to make the show seem more "American".

The show was produced in the UK by sci-fi powerhouses Gerry and Sylvia Anderson (THUNDERBIRDS, UFO, etc.) and distributed internationally by Lord Lew Grade's ITC Entertainment.

Who doesn't get douche chills when they hear or see the famous ITC logo animation?

The syndicated series aired on Sundays at unusual time period of 6:30 PM on WPIX in New York for the two original seasons, with reruns airing in various time slots over the next few years.

Also starring were in season 1 was Barry Morse and the stunning Catherine Schell joined the cast as the fabulous shapeshifting alien Maya in season 2.

Guest stars included international names like Christopher Lee, Joan Collins, Peter Cushing, Judy Geeson, Ian McShane, and Sarah Douglas.
SPACE:1999 was visually the coolest TV show up till that time, with sets, costumes and special effects on par with feature films of that time period.

Apparently the Blu-ray transfers of the show are pretty great - will have to check it out someday soon.

Where's Lucy?

In honor of Lucille Ball's 100th birthday, here's a repost. While many people love Lucy Ricardo and her "Ricky...I wanna be in the show" antics and some people prefer Lucy Carmichael and her ongoing battle with Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon) - I was always drawn to Lucy Carter, the middle-aged widow stuck in a generation gap with her two mod teen-agers.
That's right, America. You can keep your I LOVE LUCYs, LUCY-DESI COMEDY HOURs (now syndicated as WE LOVE LUCY) and your LUCY SHOWs, I'm a HERE'S LUCY kinda guy. Yes, I know the first series is an absolute classic and the hour-long follow-up series is quite charming, but the Lucy I grew up with (I was 4 years old when HERE'S LUCY premiered on CBS) will always be my favorite.

From it's brilliant animated opening sequence to it's ridiculously asinine plots, there's always been something about this version that spoke to me. After the show left CBS in 1974 (when MAUDE took over it's timeslot - something I'm sure made Vera Charles very happy-that's a MAME reference), daytime reruns continued until 1977. Back in those days the 3 networks often reran prime-time comedies as part of their daytime line-ups, usually airing before game shows in the morning or after the soaps in the afternoon.

The show was essentially a continuation of THE LUCY SHOW which ran on CBS from 1962 til 1968. THE LUCY SHOW was #2 in the ratings, but Lucille Ball wanted to make some changes. Having recently sold Desllu, Miss Ball set up her own production company and tinkered with the show's format. Lucy Carmichael became Lucy Carter and now lived in Los Angeles and worked for her brother-in-law Harry at the Unique Employment Agency - thereby giving her many opportunities to interact with guest stars (either playing themselves or characters).

HERE'S LUCY was syndicated in the early 1980s, and in New York it aired back-to-back with the MARY TYLER MOORE show on NBC affiliate WNBC, channel 4 in the 4-5PM slot. Reruns were later relegated to the wee hours of the morning. Often airing at 3 or 4 AM.. After this run, I thought I'd never see the show again.

In 2004, Shout! Factory released a 24-episode "best of" set which featured episodes from the series entire run as well as many fun and informative extras. It was great to see Lucy Carter, her kids Kim (Lucie Arnaz) and Craig (Desi Arnaz Jr.) again along with their cantankerous Uncle Harry (again, the usually over-the-top Gale Gordon) and the cavalcade of guest stars that parade through Lucy Carter's living room. This collection kept me wanting more, but it seemed like Shout! Factory didn't plan on following up with any further releases, so I had to suffice with my memories of the rest of the series' episodes.

Later MPI gained the rights to the series and began putting the show out in season sets.

With guest stars including Jack Benny, Jackie Gleason, Shelley Winters (in a story about her weight!), Eva Gabor, Wayne Newton, Vivian Vance, Wally Cox, Carol Burnett, Van Johnson and Cesar Romero - the show is a star-studded exercise in stunt-casting. The outrageous plotlines, corny pop culture references and silly sight gags add up to a noisy, but lovable treat.

In many ways, HERE'S LUCY was a bridge between the innocent sitcoms of the 50s and 60s and the youth-oriented shows of the early 70s. Having her talented teens on board for the series gave the show plenty of reasons to invoke references to pop music of the day and other youth-oriented fads and trends. In the first 20 episodes, there have been at least three references to spies and/or secret agents.

You have to hand it to Lucy. She found a way to keep her show fresh, but yet familiar enough to not scare away her loyal fans who still tuned in for her hilarious hijinks and predictable pratfalls. Ms. Ball was 57 when the series began and was supposedly playing a character in her 40s. There's even a joke in one episode referring to the actress in YOURS, MINE & OURS (played by Lucy) being too young to cast opposite Henry Fonda. Yes, Lucy was a bit long-in-the-tooth to be doing some of the same schtick she had been doing almost 20 years earlier, but the gal had spunk. Though the character Lucy Carter can sometimes be exasperating and shrill, the show is somehow comforting. I'm not sure if it's the garish mustard furniture in Lucy's home or the well-place antique props in Uncle Harry's office, but the detail to production design was something that I remembered noticing even as a child.

Episode #18, filmed entirely on location at Los Angeles Airport, is a standout because it looks like a short film rather than a typical sitcom episode. Now if someone would only put LIFE WITH LUCY out on DVD! For more Lucy fun, check out STONE PILLOW.

Selections from My Library: YARGO

Yes, Jacqueline Susann of VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, THE LOVE MACHINE and ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH fame wrote a science fiction novel!  It was published posthumously in 1979. I've searched used books stores for at least 20 years and finally came across a copy last year in Palm Springs. It now holds a special place in my library of pop culture oddities.

HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Today we bend the rules a bit here as my friend Danny reviews one of the worst (or best) Christmas specials ever - HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - Originally broadcast in syndication in 1985. Presenting for your holiday pleasure Danny's review...Funny thing is, when I watched HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL with a group of drunken, rowdy friends, we suddenly became peaceful and quieter than usual - and I didn't fast forward through this one at all!  It is a Christmas miracle!!!

The story goes something like this: "Orgazmo" went into a cockpit and accidentally launched He-Man's rocket into space. I think. So somehow, Orgazmo in the rocket ends up on the planet Earth. Once on our planet, he runs into two earth children who are about to get crushed in an avalanche, so he uses a spell to rescue them.  These two kids are named Miguel and Alicia. Two Latino children. At least, I suppose they're Latino, based on their names.  Let's see what their parents look like...(Click on photos to enlarge)How the hell did those two end up with those two kids??? Adoption? One thing I'll say for them, at least they kept their natural hair color.  Everyone else in this "movie" dyes their hair!  You can tell 'cause no one dyes their brows.  Anyway, He-Man's friend, "Sidekick Man", brings back Orgazmo and the two wetback kids. (I can say that - cause I'm Mexican!) But they get captured by Skeletor, who I thought was supposed to be a bad ass, but he turns all gay when a puppy licks his face - yeah, GAY! I can say that -cause I'm gay! 

Anyway, He-Man tries to save the kids, but then he's distracted by some sort of sex toy fair and spends some time trying out the equipment he's considering buying. Unfortunately, it's not strong enough to hold him, so he moves on. 

Meanwhile She-Ra (whom I had NO IDEA was He-Man's sister) spends a lot of time fighting a "Beast Monster", very imaginatively named, no?  So Then He-Man and She-Ra team up and save the day! They're really brother and sister?  But he's so much more tan and his hair is orangey-er... But they DO have the same brows. (Click on photos to enlarge)

Anyway, then every one in He-Man/Sha-Ra "world" gets together and celebrates Christmas  which we learn is about presents!!!...and something else too, but mostly PRESENTS!!!My favorites are the two gay guys on the left looking like they'ere just coming home from the Folsom Street Fair 2025.  I wonder what's in their Christmas packages...?

But, I wonder, do the people in the He Man Universe even have any concept who the baby Jesus is or anything of the sort?  Does it really matter? No!! Anyway, the "film" ends with the moral of the story, brought to us by Orgazmo and He Man's alter ego, Adam... "Your brows don't HAVE to match your hair. Am I gay, or what?"

Doug adds - this is beyond the "Huh?" scale - only watch it if you are stoned or Mexican or Gay or like TV shows based on crappy toys from the 1980s. Enjoy!

THE DAY TIME ENDED

So this 1979 movie starts out with an at least four-minute shot of outer space with some guy babbling endlessly about something... then suddenly we see a few shooting stars head towards Earth. I imagined the opening notes of ELO's "I'm Alive" and hoped we'd soon see 9 fabulous muses streaking across LA. Unfortunately all we get is a little town (which I dubbed Tatooine) that gets showered with stardust.

Meanwhile, at LAX Jim Davis (aka Jock Ewing from DALLAS) pulls up to the curb and greets his futuristically dressed family, which includes his wife Miss Ellie (played by Dorothy Malone of PEYTON PLACE because Barbara Bel Geddes was busy). We soon meet his annoying granddaughter Jenny (who I will call "Punky Brewster") who is visiting with her mom and dad. Dad's working on some top secret project, so he won't be spending as much time with the family.

The family drives out to the dessert, where we first see grandpa Jock's solar-powered Monsanto House of the Future. Then Jock gives Punky a pony. Punky shows her Holly Hobbie doll to the pony and it runs away. When Punky calls for her pony, it does not respond, instead she is drawn to a green glowing pyramid...which she begins to chat with about her pony! Then she hugs the pyramid and her pony reappears. What the fuck???

Meanwhile, inside the house, Jock, Dorothy, their daughter and teen-age son discover that the house has been ransacked! They suspect some local bikers...but are distracted by little Punky who wants to show them the glowing pyramid. Of course it's gone when Punky brings the family to see it. After they leave she discovers it's shrunk to the size of an Everlasting Gobstopper - so she picks it up and puts it in her pocket! Nice going, Punky!

When Punky goes to wash up for dinner a cracked mirror suddenly repairs itself! Then the lights and bathroom water turn on and off by themselves! This is the house of the future! Or is it haunted by the past? After Miss Ellie eats some corn, her and grandpa Jock stroll along in the night desert and notice a bright light in the distance. Before you know it, 2 donut-shaped UFOs zoom over their heads. They practically ignore it and head inside.

I have decided that this family is not fazed by anything.

After Punky uses the toilet and doesn't wash her hands, she sees smoke in her bedroom - followed by the appearance of a pixie-like Claymation alien. The alien does a little ballet for her and then the two of them disappear. Then the alien visits Grandma. She screams. What the fuck...again???

Then there's a small earthquake - and they realize that Punky is missing. Not to worry, they soon find her outside where she was "playing with her friend".
Doesn't faze anyone. Okay, this family is just plain creepy.

Then the family car won't turn off - until Punky tells it too. Punky's mom wants to leave, but Grandpa assures everyone that he'll protect them with his pistol. Punky is then visited by a robotic flying toaster oven that burns a hole in her bedroom wall. Punky's missing again (I think - she goes missing a few times), but Jock's still got his pistol.

Suddenly there is a battle of Ray Harryhausen dinosaur creatures outside the house. What the what the fuck???

Meanwhile, Punky's dad tries to buy gas and the attendant gives him a hard time. He eventually gives in and charges him 65 cents a gallon - talk about inflation!

Back at Tatooine, Jock and his teenage son let some horses out to distract the monsters - and then the monsters chase the horses. I'm totally NOT making this up. I swear. After that the sky is suddenly ablaze with a bad fireworks display that reminded me of Fantasmic! at Disneyland.

Okay, After the fireworks end, the house is surrounded by a bunch of damaged vehicles - a plane, a train, an automobile, a truck..all sorts of shit. Then I think there are more fireworks and some crazy slow-motion shots of Punky and Jock running towards each other super-imposed over the fireworks. I think Punky goes missing again, this time with her mom. What the friggin' fuck???

Meanwhile, after crashing his car, Punky's dad is strolling through a field of yellow flowers - then he comes across a horse - could it be one of Jock's?

Jock declares that they are stuck in a "time space warp" with "...strange things and strange creatures" - and some vortex may have taken Punky and her mom. Jock and Miss Ellie look up to see two suns in the sky - just like on Tatooine!

The family then naps, but is awakened by a giant sun - which makes a small green pyramid. Don't ask. Punky's mom reappears - and she's suddenly at peace with the universe. She starts spouting something that I swear sounds like Dianetics - and she tells everyone that Punky is safe - in fact she's with her dad.

Then everyone is reunited and they look into the horizon to see...Oz! Yes - a beautiful crystal city awaits them and their "new way of life"!

This one was also known as EARTH'S FINAL FURY - but i'd like to call it EARTH'S FINAL WHAT THE FUCKING FURY. 10 outta 10 "Huhs?"

THE WILD, WILD PLANET aka CRIMINALI DELLA GALASSIA

First let me say that this Italian sci-fi epic from 1965 is a production design dream come true for me. Clean, streamlined miniature sets with beautiful old school Tomorrowland-style architecture, funky futuristic furniture, mod fashions, amazing hairdos and some far-out vehicles. You name it - it's the future that I wish we were living in right now. So I highly recommend this film to anyone who is a fan of this style of design.



As for the storyline, I'll try to convey it the best I can: It's the future and Earth is ruled by evil transnational corporations (think Haliburton). Aboard a space station we meet Cmdr. Mike Halstead and biochemist Dr. Nurmi of the Chembiomed corporation (aka CBM). Nurmi and his staff have set up a laboratory on the station in order to cultivate replacement human organs for transplants. Halstead doesn't like Nurmi and his experimental organs - and isn't too thrilled that doctor is after his slutty sexpot of a girlfriend, Lt. Connie Gomez. Mad scientist Nurmi invites Connie to join him for a spontaneous holiday getaway. Connie first refuses to go, but them he gets her drunk and she's like - yeah, okay, I'll go.

We are soon treated to a crazy minimalistic dance performance. Then Halstead gets a call from Earth asking him to investigate a situation involving some strange disappearances. You see some voluptuous big-haired women and mysterious bald sunglass-wearing Zombie-men in black trenchcoats (did this look inspire THE MATRIX?) have been roaming the planet, shrinking people down to Barbie doll size!!! One such attempt goes awry when they only manage to shrink an old man down to midget-size, but only after they kill his young bratty granddaughter. They also attack a studly male gymnist who is wearing a skimpy brilliant blue leotard and they try to kidnap Halstead's apparently Asian nephew - but his non-Asian mom intercedes. Later, Halstead discovers a briefcase full of miniaturized victims, a four-armed (!) dead zombie man, and a bunch of the big-haired women. What does this all mean??? I just don't know.

When Halstead comes across a list of the victims, roads start to lead back to CBM and the wild, wild planet Delphus - where CBM conducts most of their research...and just happens to be where Nurmi took Connie for their little getaway! Once on Delphus, Halstead confronts Nurmi, who reveals his ultimate goal is to create a new master race of perfect people. Beautiful women and physically perfect men. He's doing this by kidnapping them and shrinking them down to doll size and then blowing them back up to normal size. I'm not sure what the heck this all has to do with the zombies and the replacement organs that they grow. Am I missing something here? Maybe I fell asleep and didn't know it.

It turns out his plans for Connie are even more evil - Nurmi wants to somehow "merge" himself with her to form the perfect person. Halstead and his men decide it's time to kick Nurmi's ass and all sorts of chaos ensues- ending with gallons of not-quite-gelled Jello-O bursting through the walls of the CBM complex. Complex indeed.

This movie had me asking "huh?" quite a bit - mostly because it sometimes felt I was watching more than one movie and that I was accidentally flipping channels. Everytime it seemed like something finally made sense, something strange would happen that would make me go "Huh?" again. For all that plus all the fabulous imagery, I have to give this one a big 8 outta 10. Apparently there are three sequels out there!!!