The Douglas Michael Show with Juul Haalmeyer

Here's a Juultide treat from 2009.SECOND CITY TELEVSION or SCTV in all it’s incarnations (in syndication, on NBC and on Cinemax) is remembered as one of the funniest TV series of all time.This outrageous Canadian sketch comedy import launched the careers of such greats as John Candy, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Rick Moranis, Catherine O’Hara, Harold Ramis, Martin Short, Dave Thomas, Joe Flaherty and a few others – including Juul Haalmeyer. Chances are if you've ever seen a SCTV sketch, you've seen Juul's work.Juul Haalmeyer was SCTV's resident costume designer, who was also featured on the show as the choreographer of Melonville's top dance troupe, the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers, a pathetically incompetent ensemble of variety show dancers made up mostly of writers and crew on SCTV. I consider Juul one of my comedy heroes and a unsung TV legend!!!Over the years, Juul also worked as a costume designer for many movies, TV shows, theatre and concert productions. He's done all the classics from ALL MY SONS to LONG DAYS JOURNEY INTO NIGHT, his designs have dressed everyone from Jack Lemmon to Alice Cooper, from Shari Lewis to Jethro Tull, from Dolly Parton to Anne Murray, from Bobby Vinton to Bobby Bittman! It is with great honor that I welcome my guest, Juul Haalmeyer!!!
DOUG: Hi Juul, first of all let me say thank you for all the laughter you and the folks at SCTV have given me over the years. The show is a true classic. I watched it from the very first episode (on WOR TV channel 9 in New York) to the very last Cinemax episode. In fact I subscribed to Cinemax just to watch SCTV! Now exactly when did you join the show?

JUUL: Well, unfortunately I didn’t do the first season because there just wasn’t enough money; and I thought that there was way too much material to get out per week for me to be able to handle. It just looked too scary and daunting and I thought I’m not going to kill myself over a show! That’s my biggest regret with SCTV because it did turn out to be the most rewarding and enjoyable experience of my career.DOUG: Well, thankfully you we able to join the show for season 2. I read somewhere that it took 100 hours a week to make one of the 90-minute NBC shows. Is that true?

JUUL :Yes it did, and sometimes more. It was a real slog, and after each three month cycle, you just had to scrape yourself off the floor and pray the next cycle would be easier. But it never was; it just kept growing bigger!DOUG: Bigger and BETTER-If you ask me! So who was your favorite character or player to design for?

JUUL: ALL OF THEM! The cast of course were all very special people and each one of their characters were very endearing. The challenge came in the situations they wrote for themselves as to how complicated the sketch would become from a wardrobe point of view. Could not have done it without the incredible help of Luigi, the head cutter at Malabar costumes, Eva Richter, who always had an impossible shopping list, and my mother, Trudy Haalmeyer, who cut and sewed everything on set.
DOUG: With all the crazy folks that passed through the doors of SCTV - was there any character that stands out as being the most creatively challenging? I somehow think John Candy as Divine must have been a case where you had to top what the real Divine was already wearing!

JUUL: Again, it was my support staff that saved my ass on everything; whether it was "Shake and Bake" (twenty nine period costumes in primary colours in three days) or Edith Prickley as Queen Elizabeth (the first with two days notice),Divine as Peter Pan, or Divine On Ice; You name it! The challenge was always the time frame within which we had to get it together, and again, my team deserves all of the credit.

DOUG: That Divine On Ice number - Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me is still one of the most hysterical things I've ever seen. And you and the boys are featured prominently in that segment. So, how did the Juul Haalmeyer dancers come about?

JUUL: Well, you can’t hire people to be as bad as we were, so when Lola Heatherton needed dancers she (Catherine O'Hara) remembered that I had done musical theater. But they would let me sing, turn the light off, and yank me offstage, because I just didn’t move well, as you’ve seen. It became a group of writers, sometimes cast, grips, propmen, whoever was available that day. God, it was fun though. Nice to know that anytime you need a bad actor, loud singer, or really lousy dancer, you can depend on someone on your crew to come through! Voila!

DOUG : Did you ever have any formal dance training?

JUUL: What are you smokin' dude?????? Of course not! I did take a Dancercise class one year to get some excess poundage off, which worked, at The Roland and Romaine Academy of Dance,but they always made me move to the back of the class because I always farted with the first bend down in the warmups!
DOUG: That's hysterical. What makes you think I was smoking something while watching SCTV? LOL. It's great that people all over the world are rediscovering the magic of Juul Haalmeyer!JUUL: I'm on Facebook now (I had never heard of it before), and guess what turned up? A Juul Haalmeyer Dancer fan club based in ICELAND! I hope they're not just now getting SCTV! I have gotten more notoriety from the bad dancing than anything I have ever done as a costume designer in the last 40 years.
DOUG: Iceland! How cool is that? Do you keep in touch with any of the cast members?

JUUL: Not really. It was great to see all of them at a very generous 'Benefit of Laughter' reunion show they did last year to set up an SCTV alumni fund for ailing participants of the show. I did get to work on the Disney film COOL RUNNINGS (1993) with John–which was a real privilege and an absolute blast. Ten weeks of poker and dominos in the sun!DOUG: Aside from the charity performance, do you think there would ever be a SCTV REUNION SPECIAL? And if so, would the Dancers come out of retirement?

JUUL: I don’t think that’s in the cards, with everyone’s careers as diverse as they are, but it would be nice. As for the dancers, I don’t think we can get enough day passes issued out of retirement homes at the same time to let all of the dancers come together again! Although I hear that Ellen Degeneres wants to challenge us to a Dance Off!

DOUG: LOL - I'd love to see you and Ellen go at it! So, what have you been up to since SCTV left the air? Are you still doing wardrobe these days?

JUUL: In a way. I still have my costume company, Homemade Tarts, and I rent out vintage clothing to the movies, but I don’t do any designing anymore; couldn’t handle the stress of it all. Back in those days they were all wonderful people to work for who appreciated your craft, but now the shows are mostly in the hands of bean counters, who just want to get it done as cheaply as possible, to heck with creativity. I stopped about nine years ago after I won an Emmy for NODDY AND FRIENDS, a childrens show for PBS.DOUG: That's awesome. Belated congratulations on that Emmy! And lastly, is there any truth to the internet rumor that you are going to be on DANCING WITH THE STARS?

JUUL: Ha Ha! That was a very clever and funny piece someone posted and I got over one hundred e-mails from people who actually believed it! Had a lot of fun with that one! Found the guy who wrote it and he’s just a big fan of the show.

DOUG : Well, you never know with internet rumors. Once something is out the in the universe, it could very well happen! Thanks again for being a guest and being so entertaining!
JUUL: Thank you, It’s been great talking with you!

King Family Revisited

Last night I met Cam Clarke, son of the great Alyce King. Here's a rerun of a post from Easter 2009.When I was a kid I was obsessed with The King Family.The King Family was this humongous group of clean-cut, mostly-blond, well-dressed white folk who sang cover versions of songs made famous by other people. These were mostly showtunes, spirituals and patriotic songs like Climb Every Mountain, He's Got the Whole in His Hands and America the Beautiful. Sometimes they all dressed alike and sometimes they even dressed like royalty!

The King Sisters (Donna, Yvonne, Louise and Alyce) and their extended musical family had their own ABC prime-time variety series from 1965-66. It was sort of like THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW if Lawrence had fathered everyone.

In all, some thirty-seven members of the King family, ranging in age from seven months to 79 years, were featured on the show. I wanted to be one.

A short-lived 1969 revival, also on ABC, focused on the younger, hipper King Cousins. Don't they look cool? Back in 1969, channel 11 in LA ran a special Thanksgiving themed hour featuring the King Family - right after an hour of THE BARBARA McNAIR SHOW! Man, sometimes I wish I had a time machine. Actually, I do - it's called PBS.
After this blog post original ran in April 2009 I received several emails and comments from people who also grew up watching the King Family. additionally, a producer of a King Family Christmas special for PBS contacted me.  Visit their officiall website here for more info about the talented clan. Also the DVDs of the shows and specials are available through Cam Clarke, son of Alyce King. Visit his website for more info.

THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

A classic post. This may be the 4th time I'm running it. What has been heralded as one of the worst hours of television ever - THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL has got to be seen to be believed. This ABC special originally aired once in 1976, but after years of showing up a bootleg copies, it's finally available on DVD.The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negative media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where Pinky Tuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discotheque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits.
This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?

Doug's TV Time Machine: Variety Edition

A while back I began hosting informal monthly gatherings at my house where a bunch of us guys sit around watching old TV. Not just any old TV, not your run-of-the-mill TV Land reruns, but rare, odd and intriguing TV shows. I invited a select few friends and told them to bring any old, cool TV shows or clips that they might wanna share. These nights have now been dubbed TV TIME MACHINE and are now just about my favorite thing in the world. Where else but in my own living room could I be entertained by gems from TV's past like these...

PINK LADY AND JEFF - The notoriously bad NBC variety series that aired on Friday nights in the spring of 1980. This six-episode concoction from the warped minds of Sid & Marty Krofft has given me more laughs over the years than just about anything. From it's deer-in-the-headlights hostesses Mie and Kei to their "round eyed" co-host Jeff Altman, this DONNY & MARIE-like hour was designed to entertain us as we laughed along with the trio as they grow accustomed to each other and their traditions. Unfortunately, the offensive pandering makes the duo (who were chart-toppers in their native Japan) seem like awkward victims of a cruel prank. My lord, they even made them wear tee-shirts with their names on them so audiences could tell them apart! Celebrity guests included Bert Parks (he must have been real big with the kids in 1980), Sherman Hemsley, Sid Caesar (another teenybopper favorite), Donny Osmond, Larry Hagman (Jeez - how did they ever get HIM?), sex monkey Greg (BJ & THE BEAR) Evigan, Hugh Hefner (WTF?), Lorne (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) Greene, Boomer (NBC's answer to BENJI), Red Buttons, Florence ("I'll do anything as long as I get to sing" Henderson, Jerry ("Is this a telethon?") Lewis, Alice Cooper, Roy ("Pretty Woman") Orbison and Bobby ("Blue Velvet") Vinton! Ernest (Jim Varney) even shows up in a few episodes. Blondie "appears" in Episodes 1 and 4 via their videos for "Shayla" and "Eat to the Beat" as does Cheap Trick with "Dream Police". The highlight of each episode is when the gals attempt to phonetically sing popular English-language songs like "Boogie Wonderland," "You Needed Me," "Le Freak," and "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". The forced comedy moments between the duo and painfully unfunny Altman are only topped by the gratuitous hot tub scene at the close of each hour. Pure trash TV nirvana. I recall asking a girl in high school if she watched this show and her response was, "Doug, are you gay?"

A couple of notches above PINK LADY on the quality ladder is THE LOLA FALANA show. The Vegas superstar headlined a series of ABC specials during the mid-1970s which highlighted her vocal prowess and sexy body. Along with guests like Bill Cosby, Billy Dee Williams and Redd Foxx - Lola's show was the hippest place in town. Odd comedy sketches featuring Pat Morita are unwatchable, but the musical numbers featuring absolutely amazing costumes and wildly inventive choreography place these four crowd-pleasing hours up on the mantle of must-see TV. At a recent screening, even the token straight guy was yelling out "fabulous1"

Mitzi Gaynor is the queen of the TV Variety Special. I've blogged previously about the PBS special which featured clips from all her network outings. Now, thanks to a friend, I have seen two of those specials in their entirety.

Mitzi: A Tribute to the American Housewife (1974) and Mitzi...and a Hundred Guys (1975) are two incredibly entertaining hours of television. Packed with great guest stars, over-the-top costumes and brilliant dance numbers that showcase the barrel of dynamite that Mitzi was (and still is!). For my birthday tribute to Mitzi from last fall, go here.

All joking aside, Cass Elliot was a tremendous talent. From her years as a member of The Mama & The Papas to her great performance in the PUFNSTUF film - Cass was on the brink of superstardom when she tragically died. Her groovy 1969 ABC special, THE MAMA CASS TELEVISION PROGRAM featured wonderful performances by Cass and guests like Joni Mitchell and the late Mary Travers (looking beautiful here). This here is a "flower power" variety hour.

Requisite guest stars include loud-mouth comic Buddy Hackett and the then-married Martin Landau and Barbara Bain (stars of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and later SPACE: 1999). An odd, yet enjoyable hour.

Speaking of odd. LUCY CALLS THE PRESIDENT - more of a sitcom special than a variety special - is a strange hour indeed. Rather than revisit any of her previous Lucy characters, here Ms. Ball casts herself as Lucy Whittaker, a housewife who is expecting a visit from President Jimmy Carter. Along for the ride are familiar cohorts like Vivian Vance (sadly performing with a post-stroke slur), Gale Gordon (as a staunch Republican), Mary Jane Croft, Mary Wickes and newcomer Ed McMahon (as Lucy's husband).

There are a few genuine laughs along the way, mostly at Gale's expense, and Lucy's standby physical schtick always manages to resurface. Two other 1970s specials: LUCY GETS LUCKY (with Dean Martin) and THREE FOR TWO (with Jackie Gleason) are also curiosities best viewed with the fast forward button pressed. Lastly, in the variety category, we were treated to a 1969 episode of THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW.

This episode featured veteran World War II performers Martha Raye and Betty Grable as guests and is notable because it was the first appearance of AS THE STOMACH TURNS, the long-running soap spoof.

Oddly, the sketch was about the LAST episode of the soap, and how the show tied up it's loose ends. In the real world CBS's AS THE WORLD TURNS ended in 2010 - 40 years after Carol's "prediction". Well, that's my TV Time Machine trip for today.

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour

Here's a blast from the past...

I'm a Brady buff from way back. I watched every version of the show RELIGIOUSLY. From the original run of the show on ABC Friday nights to the terrible BRADYS GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE TV-movie on Fox - if it had BRADY in the title, you can bet that I'd be there watching.

Somewhere in between Filmation's BRADY KIDS cartoon and the underrated BRADY BRIDES there was a little blip in the Bradyverse called THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR. This surreal Sid and Marty Krofft concoction from 1976-77 was a glittering dream come true for this Brady fan - it had everything I loved about TV at the time. Bradys! Tight pants! Musical numbers! Synchronized swimming! Guest stars! Fake Jan!

Yes, that's right, Fake Jan - Ms. Geri Reischl, who sang and danced her little heart out trying to make us forget about Eve Plumb. Geri almost did, and paved the way for Fake Cindy (Jennifer Runyon) and Fake Marcia (Leah Ayers) in later reunion shows.

I recently had to opportunity to watch a 45-minute compilation of episodes that a co-worker at Warner Bros. had converted to DVD. This "best of" tape features everything that so great and horrible about the VARIETY HOUR all in one place. It features highlights (and lowlights) from the original special plus the 8 subsequent episodes.

About a week after I watched this amazing DVD, I got an mind-blowing book, LOVE TO LOVE YOU BRADYS as a gift. This book details everything you would EVER want to know about the BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR. Written by cast member Susan Olsen (Cindy) and co-author Ted Nichelson, this tome is a must-have for any serious Brady lover.

Behind-the-scenes dirt includes how musical theater veteran Florence Henderson (Mrs. Brady) took the show VERY seriously, how Barry Williams (Greg) thought he was going to be the star of the show, and how high on cocaine Maureen McCormick (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia) was during many of the tapings!

Other great stories include how they hid Robert Reed's lack of musical-comedy talent and how "special guest star" and devout Christian Ann B. Davis (Alice the maid) blatantly ignored her gay co-star Rip Taylor the minute when the camera wasn't rolling.

Ironically, a week after I got the book, another friend lent me a copy of the same compilation tape and I recently re-waatched it with other friends. It just gets better and better.

Sure, the show made no sense in the Brady universe - why on Earth would an architect and his family host a variety show???

It was named the worst variety show in the history of television in the book BAD TV, by Craig Nelson and TV GUIDE once crowned it the 4th Worst Show of All-time, but that just makes me love it and the Bradys even more. In addition to the book, check out this groovy website.