THE NANNY

Continuing my string of re-posts from 2009...

On the heels of MARY POPPINS, the legendary Bette Davis stars in this tame, but twisted tale out of England's Hammer House of Horror based on a novel by Evelyn Piper (who also wrote the harrowing BUNNY LAKE IS MISSING).

THE NANNY (1965, directed by Seth Holt) is a spooky little chiller that casts Miss Davis as dutiful, dowdy and subdued domestic in a proper household with a deadly secret. Joey (the captivating William Dix), a precocious 10-year-old has just been released from an psychiatric institution and we are told he has developed "a strange aversion to middle-aged females."

From the start Nanny and Joey engage in a wonderfully wicked cat and mouse game. Everything Nanny does to make his return home comfortable is rejected by the bratty, troubled youngster and we feel the pain in Bette Davis' eyes.

The boy's neurotic mother Virginia (the great Wendy Craig, who later starred in the classic Britcom BUTTERFLIES) is on the verge of a nervous breakdown for the past two years, after the drowning death of her adorable toddler daughter Susie (seen in flashbacks).

To top things off, visiting Aunt Penelope (the wonderful Jill Bennett) has a heart condition, so Nanny tries not to ruffle any feathers despite Joey's increasingly hostile antics.

You see, Joey is convinced that Nanny wants to murder him, and suspects that she is responsible for drowning his sister, the reason for him being sent away in the first place. Everyone believes that Joey was culprit.

So Joey goes on a hunger strike, refusing to eat any of the food that Nanny prepares for him. He even refuses to bathe unless Virginia makes Nanny promise to stay away from the bathroom. Boys.

With Joey's dad (the serviceable James Villiers) often away on business, he befriends a sassy upstairs neighbor Bobbie (the charming Pamela Franklin), a mod teen-ager who becomes both confidante and accomplice in pranks he plays on Nanny - like drowning a baby doll in the bat tub.

The suspense builds steadily as we learn the back story of Susie's death and we wonder who's version is more accurate–prankster Joey's or dedicated Nanny's. When Virginia is suddenly stricken with food poisoning and hospitalized, delicate flower Aunt Pen comes to stay in the house for the evening and slowly grows suspicious of Nanny's actions.

Flashbacks recount what actually happened the night Susie died and reveal a shocking secret from Nanny's past leading up to the startling climax where all is revealed. Slight spolier - a visit to an abortion doctor plays into the reveal!

I loved this film. The creepy atmosphere, the wonderful acting and Davis' remarkably restraint performance make it a sheer pleasure to watch. Though it was slow paced, I didn't want it to end. The world that director Holt created was such a fun place to visit.

The scenes with Nanny and Joey are so well acted, you wonder if Davis and the youngster got along at all on set. I give this one a big 10 outta 10.

THE ANNIVERSARY

More fun from 2009! I've seen the publicity photos of Bette Davis wearing a color-coordinated eyepatch (that must have inspired the Nike logo) a million times, but never knew what film it came from–until I watched THE ANNIVERSARY (1968, directed by Roy Ward Baker)!This very black comedy, adapted from a stage play by Bill MacIlwraith, is from the Hammer House of Horror and tells the sordid story of the Taggart family - penny-pinching, inept real estate developers in England who get together annually at the gorgeous family estate in "celebration" of their mother's wedding anniversary to their late father.One-eyed Mother Taggart (Davis) is a cruel, demanding and contemptible woman whose only joy in life seems to be her pleasure in ridiculing her three spineless sons and their families. She knows how to push their buttons and she uses every finger she has to do it. This year, her youngest son Tom (Christian Roberts)—who is handsome until he opens his mouth—brings along his pretty blonde fiancee Shirley Blair to meet the family. Unfortunately things get off on the wrong foot almost immediately when Bette asks the girl to not stand too close to her because she "loathes body odor." She later forces the poor dear to reveal her deformed ears - causing Mother to declare "I have an adversion to anything repulsive".Her middle son Terry (Jack Hedley) has been married to Karen (Sheila Hancock) for a few years and they are planning a big move to Canada with their brood of children. They already have five with a sixth on its way. We learn that Terry was responsible for the shooting accident that left Mother with only one eye. We also later learn that mother gives them one thousand pounds every time they procreate and Karen has been saving up the money in order to pay for their move across the sea. Mother's reaction to Karen's plans? "My God, she's scummy!"The oldest son Henry (James Cossins, later famous for his guest turn as the hotel inspector on FAWLTY TOWERS) is unmarried, a confirmed bachelor who has a thing for silky womens undergarments. We see him ogling a shopgirl's slip, "borrowing" neighbors brassieres and hear him being scolded for wearing them (off-screen). Mother's venomous, but hysterical insults fly out out her mouth quickly and furiously in between puffs from her cigarette. She is vehemently opposed to Tom's sudden engagement, Terry's ridiculous desire to leave England and Henry's abhorrent transvestitism. She announces that she wants to have Henry arrested sent to prison where he'll be rehabilitated.
She will stop at nothing to make sure she ruthlessly neuters her sons and mentally scars the women in their lives. Mother even goes as far as telling Karen that her and Terry's children have been killed in a car accident to make the already anguished woman feel what its like to "lose a son". Meanwhile, the children are safe and sound upstairs. Mother also freaks everyone out when she plants a long, deep kiss on Tom's lips - but doesn't smear her lipstick!
Bette Davis plays a vindictive matriarch better than anyone in film history, commanding our attention as if she would chastise us if we didn't. While not a horror film per se, the feeling of uneasiness that Davis creates almost feels like she is brutally killing each one of the characters one by one.
If you are a Davis fan, and love to see her ravenously chew the scenery, this film serves it up like no other. Unfortunately the scenes without Bette drag the entire production down, so you may want to be prepared for a slightly bumpy ride. I give it an 8 outta 10 for Davis' performance in addition to the smothering atmosphere she helps create.

More Random TV GUIDE Ads - MADAME SIN

The legendary Bette Davis starred in this madcap pilot for a weekly series that never materialized. The reference to a Bond villain in the headline is no coincidence since this British-produced thriller was designed to TV's version of 007. Davis' supporting cast included Robert Wagner and a bevy of Brits including Denholm (A ROOM WITH A VIEW) Elliot, Gordon (UPSTAIRS,  DOWNSTAIRS) Jackson and Catherine (SPACE: 1999) Schell. It would have been interesting to see Bette chew the scenery each week as a madwoman achieving world domination. Note: this was many years before Oprah took on this role.

Dougsploitation Before Photoshop (& the Internet)

Yes, children there actually was a time before Photoshop when graphics had to be created the old fashioned way. I recently came across a file of dumb old magazine and advertisement parodies that I made when I was in high school and "that year I took off before college". I thought it would be fun to post some of them and review them through my seasoned Art Director's eye.

************

Exhibit A: The Hollywood Squares gossip column by Mildred Snatch and The TV Answer Man by Belvedere Thib. Originally published in the August 1981 issue of National People Magazine.

Well, first of all, Mildred Snatch and Belvedere Thib are great names. Wonder where I came up with those? The idea of a gossip column being about one particular show - a game show no less - is pretty genius. Notice how I used mixed media here. Actual clippings from TV Guide combined with real typewriter type. Very fancy.

**********

Exhibit B : No Frills Granny advertisement, originally published in the January 1982 issue of Ladies' Life Magazine .

Wow! Completely hand-drawn type with a photo stolen from somewhere. I guess my obsession with fake NBC shows can be traced back to here. Spazzola Productions was a recurring entity in these ads.

**********

Exhibit C: "I Can't Believe It's A Jockstrap!" from The March 1983 issue of Playhouse, The Sophisticated Mens' Magazine.

Infecto Laboratories created many unique products that pertain to the genital region.

Once again, completely hand-drawn type - including the Infecto logo!

******

Exhibit D: "I Can't Believe It's a Tampon!" from the January 1982 issue of Ladies' Life.

Once again, Infecto Industries creates something unmentionable in polite conversation. Notice celebrity spokesperson Juliet Prowse. Poor dear.

**********

Exhibit E : Best Little Whorehouse on the Prairies from TV Guard magazine (circa Spring 1982)

Ah! I've discovered Press Type! And I've created a new network, SBS! Poor Laura, I always know al that whoring would lead to trouble. I've revisited this concept years later in my Slideshow presentation.

**********

Exhibit F : The Natalie Wood Story circa 1982

What can I say? My design skills have improved greatly as I was using Press Type like there was no tomorrow, plus actual clip art! Pamela Sue Martin and Erik Estrada? Why not? "The neglected swimming lessons!"  - I'm sorry, Natalie.

**********

Exhibit F : "Planet Eartha" from Persons magazine (Fall 1982)

More Press Type with clips from real movie ads. I wish someone really made this movie. In Dolby Stereo and 3-D!

************

Exhibit G: Gimme a Bust! also from Persons magazine.

A mix of clips and Press Type and a great photo of the late, great Nell Carter!

************

Exhibit H - Equaliza circa 1983

Okay, now we're talking. This was actually a photo stat composite of a real TV Guide ad and a photo of Ms. Minnelli. (Happy Birthday Liza!) Pretty soon after this I'd be employed and designing actual TV Guide ads - only those were not as much fun. I hope you all enjoyed this twisted trip down my memory lane.