Happy 50th Birthday, Kristy McNichol

Here's a post from a few years back, slightly updated. To me, September 11th will always be remembered as Kristy McNichol's birthday. Born 50 years ago today in Los Angeles, Kristy is best known for her roles as tomboy 'Buddy' Lawrence on the ABC drama series FAMILY (1976–80) and later as tomboy-ish Barbara on the NBC sitcom EMPTY NEST.Kristy's first TV series was the CBS drama APPLE'S WAY (1974). The short-lived family series was unfortunately scheduled Sunday evenings at 7:30PM opposite the still-popular THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY on NBC.
Then came FAMILY, the highly acclaimed series for which McNichol won two Best Supporting Actress Emmy Awards. I remember watching this show with my parents, and wishing that my family was more like the Lawrences.

In 1977 and 1978 McNichol appeared on two Carpenters Christmas specials. Following in Karen and Richard's footsteps, Kristy and her brother Jimmy recorded an album, Kristy & Jimmy McNichol, and released a single covering the Chiffons 1963 hit "He's So Fine".
Also in 1978, she starred in the acclaimed NBC TV-movie SUMMER OF MY GERMAN SOLDIER and had a role in the hit Burt Reynolds comedy THE END. I still think THE END was the best film Burt ever starred in.Then came LITTLE DARLINGS. This dirty little 1980 teen comedy co-starred teen rival Tatum O'Neal. Kristy and Tatum played high school girls away at summer camp involved in a contest to lose their virginity to Matt Dillon.
I cannot tell you how much I loved this film when I saw it in high school. I so wanted to be friends with slutty girls like Kristy and Tatum...and boys like Matt.After the success of LITTLE DARLINGS, Kristy appeared with Dennis Quaid and Mark Hamill in THE NIGHT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA (1981), based on the wacky Vicki Lawrence song from the early 1970s. From what I recall, the film does not tell the same story as the song.
Later that year, Kristi co-starred with Marsha Mason in Neil Simon's ONLY WHEN I LAUGH and was nominated for a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress.
McNichol's next project was the ill-conceived musical THE PIRATE MOVIE, co-starring THE BLUE LAGOON's frequently naked gay icon Christopher Atkins. This film was a crazy Gilbert & Sullivan mash-up that I tried watching about a year ago and it made my head hurt.
Next up came WHITE DOG, a controversial and highly acclaimed 1982 drama directed by Samuel Fuller, based Romain Gary's 1970 novel of the same title. The film depicts the intense struggle of a dog trainer named Keys (Paul Winfield), trying to retrain a dog that is trained to attack any black person. The film carries a powerful anti-racism message, but due to its sensitive subject matter it received very minimal release. It is currently out on dvd as part of The Criterion Collection.
When McNichol stormed off the set of the film JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, rumors of alleged drug use made Kristy a tabloid darling. She was diagnosed with clinical depression, and she eventually completed the film, but her professional reputation was damaged.After taking a few years off, Kristi was ready to work again. In 1988, she was cast in EMPTY NEST, a spin-off from the huge Susan Harris hit, THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Kristi seemed happy, healthy and looked great. But unfortunately her on-set behavior soon became an issue and was she let go from the series 1992 when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She did return to the series for the final episode in 1995, which became her last screen appearance to date.Since 1995, Kristy has only taken voiceover roles. Her last public statement was in June 2001, when she said: "A lot of people have wondered what I've been up to. I retired from my career after 24 years. My feeling was that it was time to play my biggest part — MYSELF! I must say that it has been the best thing that ever happened to me. So many fans are disappointed that I'm not currently acting, however some may not realize that the process I'm in at this time is necessary and vital for my personal happiness and well-being."

Happy Birthday Kristy, this fan hopes to see you on screen again one day soon.

"Confetti" or "When Wonder Woman Met Judy Garland"

From 2009, and in honor of Judy Garland's 90th birthday, I proudly re-present one of my most popular blog entires..."Confetti" or "When Wonder Woman Met Judy Garland".  Yes - that's right - for two issues (226 and 227 of her original series) Woman Woman, everybody's favorite Amazon got to pal around with a dead ringer for Judy Garland, everyone's favorite tragic songbird! Courtesy of writer Martin Pasko and artists Jose Delbo and Vince Colletta, this epic meeting of two gay icons could only be rivaled by the year Comic Con and San Diego Pride occurred on the same weekend! The sad story goes like this...singer actress Julie Gabriel is infamous for being late to movie sets and for throwing temper tamtrums–but somehow the people, the fans still love her. Sound familiar?
Her put-upon husband/manager tries to talk her out of quitting her latest gig–a film about the United Nations. She shows him who's boss by downing some pills! Oh no, Julie!!!
After evil fire god Hephaestus (the guy with the flaming fist pictured on the cover of Issue 226) causes chaos on the film set, Wonder Woman shows up and saves the day! Afterwards in her secret identity of U.N. representive Diana Prince, she makes friends with Julie, who invites her for a drink. Suffering Sappho!!!
After a cliffhanger, things pick up in the very next issue as Julie rehearses for her big night at Carnegie Hall with her gay choreographer.
After some gay-bashing humor, Julie gives Diana two tickets for her Carnegie Hall concert!Diana when pays Julie a surprise visit before her show, she gets accused of being "a little meshugginah"! Then she transforms into WW before Julie's eyes! Oh no, anytime Diana reveals her secret identity to someone, trouble follows!!!
I'm not sure if Julie is wearing pants in these scenes as WW compels Julie to give a mediorce performance! Great Hera!!!
And then the big show begins. Diana takes Steve Howard as her date (He's really Steve Trevor, who was recently brought back to life by the gods). JULIE! JULIE! JULIE!
Despite Diana's spell, Julie's fans love her just the same, and they begin to clamor for her to sing her signature tune, "Confetti"...but soon the stage catches on fire thanks to old cranky Hephaestus!

So, as the crowd cheers and screams in horror–Julie gives the performance of her career as the theater burns to a crisp around her!

"Confetti" concludes, Hephaestus is captured by WW and poor Julie is reduced to a pile of ashes.The End. Too bad Julie didn't rise from the dead during BLACKEST NIGHT.

A Basket Full of Easter TV Treats

Here's a timely pastiche of old posts dealing with Easter-themed television. It seems like Easter was once a much bigger deal on TV back in the 1970s. Not only did the three major networks air a slew of animated specials, but regular series also aired special Easter-themed episodes!
THE LIFE & TIMES OF GRIZZLY ADAMS was one such series. This NBC family adventure series about a hairy dude (play by future drug afficinando Dan Haggerty) who lived with bears was quite popular during it's two-year run. Grizzly was loosely based on a real person, a bear handler in P.T. Barnum's circus during the early 1980s. This 90-minute holiday episode guest-starred Western legend John Wayne's less than legendary son Patrick. This show should not be confused with BJ AND THE BEAR - which starred Greg Evigan and a monkey named "Bear."

From bears to killer whales...Perry Como, the famously bland singer, hosted a batch of holiday specials on the networks through the 1970s. Joining Perry for this splashy outting - taped at San Diego's Sea World (nothing says Easter like killer whales) are the equally bland duo Grammy-winning Grizzly Adams lookalike Kenny (The Gambler) Rogers and Debby (You Light Up My Life) Boone. The fact that this snoozefest aired at 10PM must have alienated the elderly and grammar school audience that it was meant to attract. I mean who else loves water parks and squeaky-clean easy-listening music but people who are in bed by 9PM?

Speaking of easy-listening, regular readers of Dougsploitation know that when I was a kid I was obsessed with The King Family. The King Family was this humongous group of clean-cut, mostly-blond, well-dressed white folk who sang cover versions of songs made famous by other people. These were mostly showtunes, spirituals and patriotic songs like Climb Every Mountain, He's Got the Whole in His Hands and America the Beautiful. Sometimes they all dressed alike and sometimes they even dressed like royalty!

The King Sisters (Donna, Yvonne, Louise and Alyce) and their extended musical family had their own ABC prime-time variety series from 1965-66. It was sort of like THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW if Lawrence had fathered everyone.

In all, some thirty-seven members of the King family, ranging in age from seven months to 79 years, were featured on the show. I wanted to be one.

A short-lived 1969 revival, also on ABC, focused on the younger, hipper King Cousins. Don't they look cool?

This special, HAPPY EASTER WITH THE KING FAMILY may have just been a syndicated repeat of an Easter-themed episode of their weekly show, or it may have been an all-new hour-long King-fest. I'm not sure, There was a great King Family Christmas clip show that airs on PBS each holiday season. I heard a follow-up on their non-Christmas shows will be made as well.
Wow! What a star-studded eggstravanga this was! Poor Frankie, first THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR now an Easter Special from around the same time with an unimpressive line-up of guest stars. Very sad. Brings to mind one of my favorite lines from GREASE, "Would you pull that crap with Annette?"

Liz Taylor 1932-2011

Let's celebrate the life of the great Liz Taylor by representing a post from four years ago when this blog was called MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU SAY 'HUH?' and I inducted Ms. Taylor into the first "Huh? Hall of Fame".
Well, you just gotta love Liz Taylor. She was a friggin' legend - living a glamourous public life and starring in some of cinema's greatest films like GIANT, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?– not to mention cherished classics like LASSIE COME HOME, NATIONAL VELVET and FATHER OF THE BRIDE. Outside of film, Dame Elizabeth's devotion to ending the AIDS epidemic is truly inspiring and she really is a INTERnational treasure.

Then there's the other Ms. Taylor, the Liz that mades me say "Huh?". This is the Liz Taylor that was friends with Michael Jackson, (Editor's note: this post originally ran in 2007) markets crappy perfume...and the one that married Larry Fortensky. This is the Liz that starred (or appeared in) some of the worst films ever made. The Liz that played Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES movie. A casting choice so bizarre and inept, that many years later and it still makes me say "Huh?" I mean look at the evidence: I rest my case.

But the craziness did not start in Bedrock in 1994. Let's turn the clocks back a bit to 1960 and BUTTERFIELD 8. Liz actually won an Oscar for this film in which she plays a slutty, drunken "fashion model" (aka prostitute) who falls in love an alcoholic son of a working class family who has married into money. Liz made the film to get out of her contract with MGM, so she could jump over to 20th-Century Fox to star in the epic CLEOPATRA (more on this one later). Taylor's conditions for agreeing to make BUTTERFIELD 8 included shooting the film in New York, having control over costumes, hair and giving husband Eddie Fisher (freshly divorced from America's sweetheart Debbie Reynolds) a supporting role. She publicly campaigned against the film: "I hate the girl I play, " she told the press, "This is the most pornographic script I have ever read!" The public, titillated by Taylor and the provocative subject matter, made the film a hit. "I still say it stinks" recanted Liz. After finishing production on BUTTERFIELD 8, Taylor, and freed from MGM's clutches, shew flew to London to begin work on CLEOPATRA, the biggest budgeted film up till that time.

In 1963, Liz also became the highest paid movie star AND worked with future husband Richard Burton (who was cast as Mark Antony) for the first time. The press had a field day when Taylor and Burton began an torrid and scandalous affair during filming – both stars were married to other people at the time!!! The Vatican even accused her of "erotic vagrancy"!!! That's pretty damn cool The production itself was plagued by many problems, and director Joe Mankiewicz' original cut was six hours long. Fox demanded that two hours be cut, which they were, thankfully. When the film was released historians criticized it's inaccuracies, critics attacked the disjointed script and the over-the-top acting was laughed at universally, causing filmgoers to wonder how a film maker could get such great actors to act so badly.

After a string of better films in the mid-60s, Liz and Dick returned to Huh?-ville in 1968 with a little something we like to call BOOM! Freely adapted from Tennessee Williams' play "The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore", BOOM! is the oddest, most pretentious "art film" ever made. It's almost indescribable. But if you EVER get the chance to see it - Run!!!

Liz spent much of the 1970s making mediocre films for theaters and TV, appearing on talks shows, Bob Hope specials and playing herself on HERE'S LUCY. In 1978, she showed up in - of all places - a musical! In A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC, Liz delivers a poorly dubbed rendition of "Send in the Clowns". Isn't it rich?

In 1981, during the peak of the daytime soap opera fad, Liz showed up for a short stint on GENERAL HOSPITAL, playing Helena Cassadine. The character has lived on, though Liz has never revisited the role. After THE FLINTSTONES debacle, Liz participated in an ill-concieved ABC TV-movie aimed at gay men who missed THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Entitled THESE OLD BROADS, this "event" gathered together for the first (and LAST!) time: Liz Taylor, Debbie Reynolds (Liz's longtime nemesis) , Shirley MacLaine (who had played Debbie in POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE) and Joan Collins (who took over the role of Pearl Slaghoople in THE FLINTSTONES sequel). I can recall this being among the two of the most painful hours ever spent in front of the TV - rivaling the infamous MARY & RHODA reunion movie. To top it all off, poor Liz delivered all her scenes from a sickbed!!!

Well, in spite of it all - we still love her and were were proud to have Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor as first inductee into the "Huh?" Hall of Fame! She was an angel and she will be missed.