Mitzi Gaynor: A Dougsploitation Diva

Just came back from seeing (and meeting) the legendary Mitzi Gaynor!

Born Francesca Marlene de Czanyi von Gerber, Mitzi began dancing as a child and hasn't stopped yet.

This shapely, shimmering superstar has had a career that spans film, stage and television.

She appeared in many films, including THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS (1954) alongside Ethel Merman (her showbiz "mom") and Marilyn Monroe,

LES GIRLS (1957) with Gene Kelly and in the film version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's SOUTH PACIFIC (1958).

On February 16, 1964, Gaynor performed in between two sets by The Beatles when they made their second appearance on THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. On the show, Mitzi performed a nine-minute medley including Cole Porter's "Too Darn Hot".

Throughout the 1960s and '70s Gaynor starred in a string of popular TV specials.

Each broadcast was an energetic was a mix of song, dance and comedy with guest stars galore–not to mention a fabulous array of Bob Mackie gowns!

The specials, originally broadcast on NBC and CBS were...

* The Kraft Music Hall:The Mitzi Gaynor Christmas Show (1967)

* Mitzi (1968)

* Mitzi's 2nd Special (1969)

* Mitzi: The First Time (1973)

* Mitzi: A Tribute to the American Housewife (1974)

* Mitzi...and a Hundred Guys (1975)

* Mitzi...Roarin' In the 20's (1976)

* Mitzi...Zings Into Spring (1977)

▪ Mitzi...What's Hot, What's Not (1978)

Mitzi also recorded two albums for the Verve label and soon became a top attraction in Las Vegas showrooms and Vancouver nightclubs.

Last November MITZI GAYOR: RAZZLE DAZZLE a new documentary celebrating Miss Gaynor's TV specials was broadcast on PBS and released on DVD, including some of the best showstopping moments from the rarely seen shows.

Gaynor is currently touring with her one-woman show, Razzle Dazzle: My Life Behind the Sequins. You can visit Mitzi here.

Happy 65, Bowie

Why I Hate Birthday Parties

From 2009: I had only one damn birthday party when I was a kid...and my siblings mortified me during the "pin the tail on the donkey" portion of the festivities. I spent most of the party hiding under my grandmother's bed. If I only had this book back then...

I also hate the song Happy Birthday to You and refuse to sing it.

How many of these copyright protected characters can YOU name?

I had another birthday party when I was a teen for my 16th or 17th...

My parents actually allowed us to have beer! (But it was lite beer if I recall correctly).

Look at all these other great party books...

As an adult, I actually enjoy throwing parties-but never birthday parties. I like cocktail parties. My parents had a liquor cabinet that had the same bottles of booze in it for my entire childhood. They never once threw a cocktail party. They never had friends come over for drinks.

But they did have an absolutely groovy collection of drink mix guides for some reason. Maybe one day they planned on finally letting loose and enjoying the Nite-Life?
Maybe they wanted to be like the people in those drink recipe books.
Young, sexy, hip with not a care in the world. That would have been nice.
On a similar note, I used to fantasize that my parents were really Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson.Burt & Angie would pour each other glasses of Martini & Rossi and lounge around our Malibu home on the shag carpet and cuddle in front of the crackling fireplace on a chilly autumn evening.

Maybe Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme would come over one night to hang around the piano while Burt tickled the ivories. 

Or maybe they'd all go out on dad's boat.  How romantic. Ah - the glamourous life I could have had. Well I think we should all pour ourselves a nice glass of Martini & Rossi and "say yes". Just don't sing Happy Birthday to me.

BLOODY BIRTHDAY

For Earth Day (and my birthday week), here's something recycled from last year. Renjoy!

For my friend Tony's birthday, we got together with him and a bunch of his painfully cute friends to eat pasta and watch BLOODY BIRTHDAY, a little-known 1981 horror film directed by Ed Hunt. (The director of such gems as UFOs ARE REAL, STARSHIP INVASION and one episode of NBC's GREATEST HEROES OF THE BIBLE).    The story begins in 1970, as three babies are born during a total eclipse. Apparently when the sun and moon team up to block Saturn - any infants that a born instantly become "demon seeds" - without a conscience. Good to know.Fast forward to 1980 and the three babies have now blossomed into the brattiest kids in town. As preparations begin for their big 10th birthday party, strange things begin to happen in the town of Meadowdale or Fernwood or whatever. Think VILAGE OF THE DAMNED on a smaller scale.

First a teen-age couple are brutally killed while having poorly-lit sex in a cemetery plot, setting off a string of ghastly random and Rube Goldberg-esque deaths. Then we meet our unsavory trio : Curtis, a young Stephen Colbert lookalike; Debbie, a dead ringer for a child beauty pageant loser; and some quiet, bowl-cut blond kid who takes orders from the other two. These three madcap mini-MacGyvers manage to turn any found object (jump ropes, skateboards, shovels, baseball bats, etc.) into a murder weapon and soon the deaths begin to add up. Debbie is quite the young entrepreneur, as she charges the neighborhood boys a quarter to watch her sister Beverly (Julie Brown - who goes full T & A) dress and undress through a peep hole. Debbie's dad is the local sheriff, but not for long - as he becomes victim number two. Two constant targets of the trio's shenanigans are camel-toe sporting amateur astrologist (and sometimes school teacher) Joyce and her misunderstood little brother Timmy. The whippersnappers try to run Joyce over in a junkyard with a remote-controlled car (thanks to the bespectacled young inventor Curtis), and then try to make her seem crazy and paranoid when four-eyed Curtis makes her believe that he poisoned the birthday cake frosting with ant killer. It looks just like the Skinny & Sweet!

Daughter of acting legend Lee - Susan Strasberg of MANITOU fame- makes a brief appearance as a schoolteacher - who looks just like Andrea Thomas from ISIS, but sadly, she never gets the chance to transform into the Egyptian goddess before she's shot to death by Curtis- with the gun he stole from Debbie's dead dad. He's very clever, cause he wears glasses.There's a few other deaths, including Julie Brown's encounter with the wrong end of a bow & arrow - and another teen sex scene in bad lighting.

Overall, a pretty creepy and somewhat fun example of early 80s low-budget horror. It definitely helps to watch it with a gaggle of attractive young men. On my old scale of 10 "Huhs" - I'd give BLOODY BIRTHDAY a solid 8, just for have the moxie to show 10 year olds killing people with reckless abandon. The child acting is pretty believable, making me wonder about the trio of ten-year olds sitting at the table next to me at the Whole Foods cafe while I write this.

BLOODY BIRTHDAY (Again)

Another horror re-post for the Halloween season. For my friend Tony's birthday a few months back, we got together with him and a bunch of his painfully cute friends to eat pasta and watch BLOODY BIRTHDAY, a little-known 1981 horror film directed by Ed Hunt. (The director of such gems as UFOs ARE REAL, STARSHIP INVASION and one episode of NBC's GREATEST HEROES OF THE BIBLE). The story begins in 1970, as three babies are born during a total eclipse. Apparently when the sun and moon team up to block Saturn - any infants that a born instantly become "demon seeds" - without a conscience. Good to know.Fast forward to 1980 and the three babies have now blossomed into the brattiest kids in town. As preparations begin for their big 10th birthday party, strange things begin to happen in the town of Meadowdale or Fernwood or whatever. Think VILAGE OF THE DAMNED on a smaller scale.

First a teen-age couple are brutally killed while having poorly-lit sex in a cemetery plot, setting off a string of ghastly random and Rube Goldberg-esque deaths. Then we meet our unsavory trio : Curtis, a young Stephen Colbert lookalike; Debbie, a dead ringer for a child beauty pageant loser; and some quiet, bowl-cut blond kid who takes orders from the other two. These three madcap mini-MacGyvers manage to turn any found object (jump ropes, skateboards, shovels, baseball bats, etc.) into a murder weapon and soon the deaths begin to add up. Debbie is quite the young entrepreneur, as she charges the neighborhood boys a quarter to watch her sister Beverly (Julie Brown - who goes full T & A) dress and undress through a peep hole. Debbie's dad is the local sheriff, but not for long - as he becomes victim number two. Two constant targets of the trio's shenanigans are camel-toe sporting amateur astrologist (and sometimes school teacher) Joyce and her misunderstood little brother Timmy. The whippersnappers try to run Joyce over in a junkyard with a remote-controlled car (thanks to the bespectacled young inventor Curtis), and then try to make her seem crazy and paranoid when four-eyed Curtis makes her believe that he poisoned the birthday cake frosting with ant killer. It looks just like the Skinny & Sweet!

Daughter of acting legend Lee - Susan Strasberg of MANITOU fame- makes a brief appearance as a schoolteacher - who looks just like Andrea Thomas from ISIS, but sadly, she never gets the chance to transform into the Egyptian goddess before she's shot to death by Curtis- with the gun he stole from Debbie's dead dad. He's very clever, cause he wears glasses.There's a few other deaths, including Julie Brown's encounter with the wrong end of a bow & arrow - and another teen sex scene in bad lighting.

Overall, a pretty creepy and somewhat fun example of early 80s low-budget horror. It definitely helps to watch it with a gaggle of attractive young men. On my old scale of 10 "Huhs" - I'd give BLOODY BIRTHDAY a solid 8, just for have the moxie to show 10 year olds killing people with reckless abandon. The child acting is pretty believable, making me wonder about the trio of ten-year olds sitting at the table next to me at the Whole Foods cafe while I write this.

Celebrating My 550th Post

Anniversaries, birthdays, season premieres - it's like we're always celebrating something these days. Well, I've been busy celebrating all sorts of good things all weekend long, so I've fallen behind on my blogging. Enjoy this vintage cookbook spread while I regroup and figure out what the hell I'm gonna blog about tomorrow.

50 is the New 17

What do these diverse celebrities have in common? Danny Bonaduce, Judd Nelson, Kyle MacLachlan, Lydia Lunch, Mackenzie Phillips, Marie Osmond, Perry Farrell, Rosanna Arquette, Sheena Easton, Val Kilmer, Apollonia, Vanity, Sade and Barbie®?That's right they are all somewhat plastic and have all been in rehab. Just kidding!!! Actually, that might be true, but what I'm getting at is they are all turning 50 this year!Yes, the Barbie Doll is 50 years old - and she doesn't look a day over 17! She's still long limbed, shapely and beautiful, and still only 11" tall. Barbie’s measurements are 5 inches (bust), 3¼ inches (waist), 5 3/16 inches (hips). Her weight is 7.25 ounces!Ruth and Elliot Handler of Mattel Toys launched the fabulous fashion doll named after their own daughter, Barbie - 50 years ago. Barbie's full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. (Pictured below is a TV Guide advertisement telling you when a TV advertisement for Talking Barbie is going to air - an ad for an ad - how odd!)And strangely, Barbie's soon to be boyfriend Ken, was named after their son. Um, that's kinda gross. (Below is an issue of Dell Comic's BARBIE AND KEN, detailing their European tour, where Barbie almost discovered that Ken was her brother!!!)

By the late 1960s, her adoring public purchased $500 million worth of Barbie products.  And not just dolls - but other cool stuff like records... (Six teen-age tunes sung by Barbie and Ken! I wonder what that sounds like?)

and phones...(How cool is this pink Barbie phone? And not that yucky modern PMS 219  "Barbie pink", but real girl-ish 1960s pink!)
Oddly enough, Barbie has never been married , apparently she just likes to model wedding gowns and leaves Ken at the altar repeatedly. Barbie has managed to keep up with current trends in hairstyles, makeup and clothing, becoming a reflection of the history of fashion and style - for better or worse!The best-selling Barbie doll ever was the freakish white-trashy 1992 Totally Hair Barbie®, with hair from the top of her head to her toes.My sister had this very same Dream House and I was never allowed to play with it. I guess they'd though I'd turn out gay if I played with Barbie. Um, guess what? (Check out that stylish brick fireplace below!)Well, happy 50th birthday to the girl who has it all, has been it all from schoolteacher to astronaut (Barbie has had more than 108 careers and has been a presidential candidate four times as an Independent candidate!) and most all all, always a great Malibu tan.