My Wall of Christmas Music

Here's an old chestnut from 2010...

Regular visitors to the humble home of Dougsploitation know that the "LP wall" is a revolving gallery of the finest long playing record art imaginable. The holiday season is always the hardest time of the year to decide what records to frame because I own so many great ones - and I acquire new ones each year. This year's six:

Not to be confused with the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, Christmas in the Stars is the STAR WARS Christmas Album. I found this recently at Amoeba Records, and didn't have time to listen to it before it made it to the wall. It features the original voices of R2D2 and C3PO!

As a companion I have the soundtrack to the 1977 Nelvana animated holiday special, A COSMIC CHRISTMAS featuring songs and music by Canadian Crystal Gayle lookalike Sylvia Tyson.

Christmas: A Gift of Music Vol 3 featuring a creepy collection of Christmas dolls and a selection of songs from a variety of artists from Dinah Shore to The Korean Orphan Choir. Those orphans can really sing!

Next up is last year's favorite Sing with Marcy. I won't go on about her again. I swear.

Santa and the 3 Bears is another animated soundtrack. This one is from a 1970 low-budget theatrical release which turned up on local stations in the late 70s as an hour-long special. The album came with a dimensional Santa decoration (still intact) !

Last, but certainly not least is Elvin The Little Black Elf from 1982, described as "A Musical Christmas Special About Our Newest Christmas Hero." I don't think the special was ever made, but it's nice to know the soundtrack was released. I love Elvin. Here's a few of my other favorites that didn't make this year's wall.

Four exciting Christmas adventures of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN. Bionics and Christmas go together like Superheroes and Christmas...

Exciting Christmas Stories starring Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman. I miss Peter Pan Records.

Christmas at Home starring a big, scary baby.

Christmas with the King Family...one of my childhood obsessions.

Christmas with Colonel Sanders - he brought the world greasy, artery-clogging fried chicken so therefore he must know a lot about Christmas.

So much so that he even had another Christmas album - though it looks like the old guy may not make it through the evening.

Speaking of not making it through the night, I always read this album's title as "Merry Christmas from the Hillside Stranglers."

And finally, one of my all-time favorites, Imagine the Joys of Christmas presented by Sylvania light bulbs and featuring a family that clearly forgot to pay their electric bill. Sad.

SUPERTRAIN returns!

This is a repost from 2008 (and 2010).

In the past few seasons NBC has brought back both BIONIC WOMAN and KNIGHT RIDER, which forced me to recall the another terrible NBC show about a futuristic vehicle–SUPERTRAIN! A failed attempt by the peacock network to launch it's own LOVE BOAT-type franchise, SUPERTRAIN is one of the most critically lambasted TV shows ever. While the train itself was mighty impressive (There was a disco and a swimming pool on board!), the series lacked several things that viewers were looking for at the time - big name guest stars and comedy. SUPERTRAIN premiered February 7, 1979 at 8PM and limped along for a few weeks before it was "retooled" and rescheduled to air in more "adult" the Saturday 10PM slot. I remember watching it a few times and thinking that it really sucked, excepted for the train. I always hoped that it would at least stay on the air long enough to inspire a cool line of toys. That never happened, in total, only 9 episodes aired.
Well, maybe NBC will revisit the concept since they seem to have been mining the NBC archives with revivals for the past few seasons (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, THE BIONIC WOMAN, AMERICAN GLADIATORS, KNIGHT RIDER). With V turning up as a revival on ABC, Can SUPERTRAIN be that far behind? Thanks to Tony Cook for posting some great SUPERTRAIN clips on YouTube .

Tragic Halloween Costumes Megapost

Here's my entire Tragic Halloween Costumes series from 2008 for you to enjoy (again).
Ben Cooper costumes were always the highlight of the season for me. Even as a kid I knew that some of the costumes were pretty lame. For example, take a gander at this Kaye Ballard costume. Kaye, co-star of TV's lost treasure THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW has never looked better with her reverse flip hairdo and big bright smile...Oh wait a minute, why is Kaye Ballard wearing a plastic smock that says "Marie Osmond" and holding a box that pictures Donny, Marie and the dreaded Jimmy Osmond? Oh - because it's NOT a Kaye Ballard costume - it's Marie Osmond!!! Or is it? You decide...

Spooky. To complete the unholy Osmond trinity, here were have the frightening duo of Prop 8 supporter (boo! hiss!) Donny and Jimmy Osmond...Donny (pictured above) also looks a bit like Kaye Ballard...or perhaps even JoAnne Worley! There is something extremely unsettling about this mask - especially grouped with Marie and little Jimmy (pictured below).Jimmy, in the non-Halloween world, was always the creepiest and least talented of the Osmonds - and his Halloween mask has a certain sadness about it. The mask looks like it's saying "I know I'm not as pretty as Marie or as non-threateningly cute as Donny, but please try to look into your heart and try not to hate me - my parents forced me into this. I wish I wasn't born an Osmond, there's just too much pressure. Help."

Long before the madness known as AMERICAN GIRL became our latest national nightmare, young girls (and some adventurous boys) imagined themselves living in the pioneer world of LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. Yes, there were kids who actually enjoyed making believe they worked the fields in Walnut Grove, taught in a school for the blind and battled the devil incarnate herself, Nellie Oleson. Melissa Gilbert as Laura Ingalls Wilder was extremely cute, but it didn't hurt your teeth to look at her (like many other sugary child stars of the 1970s). She had a sweet, wholesome and believable cuteness that kept us tuning in on Monday nights, even into the 1980s when Laura had a husband and kids of her own.So why then, did they make a Halloween mask that made her look more like, um...Perez Hilton?Poor "Half Pint". Next, let's take a look at some magically themed Halloween costumes. Starting with BEWITCHED's Samantha Stephens herself...Well, looking a bit like a drunken drag queen, Sam came in two un-fabulous versions. Both with garish mustard yellow capes and old school witch hats. Why not make the costume match the famous animated Samantha from the opening titles? Oh Ben Cooper, you were such a tease! Well, at least they got her hair color right, unlike...Jeannie from I DREAM OF JEANNIE! Why on Earth would they give her red hair? And again with the yellow! Yuck! Jeannie was known for wearing PINK, not yellow! It's almost like they went out of their way to make her look nothing like the actual character. And these were official licensed products! Ironically, the mask looks more like Barbara Eden today...Getting back to witches...
Here's Witchiepoo from Sid & Marty Krofft's psychedelic kiddie classic H.R. PUFNSTUF. This costume actually works for me. The mask looks like the character and the trippy graphic is kinda cute, even though the illustration makes her look more like 70s era Bette Midler than Billie Hayes. I think this is the best costume I've come across (so far).

Next we have THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, who looks more like CBS newsman Dan Rather. Also, the graphic illustration is perversely out of proportion. I did not realise that Steve Austin has elephantitis of the head.
And then there's THE BIONIC WOMAN...which isn't half-bad, but why does she look like she's sleeping? Oh - this must represent Jamie Sommers' in a coma - after her parachuting accident. Wake up, Jamie - wake up!!!
I wonder if Ben Cooper ever made a FEMBOT costume? Now that would have been terrific - especially if it came with the requisite rainbow smock and Ronald MacDonald fright wig!Now let's take a at some Garry Marshall inspired fright masks. No, not a Julia Roberts/PRETTY WOMAN hooker costume, but some 1970s classics from the days when Marshall was behind almost every ABC sitcom. He-ey! Check out this great Abe Vigoda mask...no wait ...it's Henry Winkler as Arthur Fonzerelli...
Why did they feel the need to make Fonzie's ears, nose and chin gigantic??? Moving right along, we have those lovable roommates, LAVERNE & SHIRLEY...Yikes!!!

Actually and sadly, these masks are pretty accurate. But what Laverne without her giant "L"??? Boo! Hey does anybody have a Pam Dawber mask? Nope, just the annoying alien known as Mork from Ork...

Na-No, Na-No...Shaz-Bot! I have nothing else to say. After Garry, Aaron Spelling was responsible for some of the most memorable TV shows of the 1970s. His ABC shows of this period ran the gamut from crime dramas to romantic comedies. Most were Top 10 hits and were mostly aimed towards "adult" audiences, but a few inspired Halloween costumes.Nothing like dressing up your little girl as the late Farah Fawcett-Majors, the queen of "jiggle tv". Not sure why Farah's costume isn't branded as a CHARLIE'S ANGELS costume like Kate Jackson's Sabrina. Oddly enough, the horse-faced Kate mask looks more like Tori Spelling!

Wow - a Gavin MacLeod costume! Well, he didn't get one as Murray from MARY TYLER MOORE, but I wonder what little kid actually wanted to be Captain Stubing from THE LOVE BOAT for Halloween.
And finally, Tattoo from FANTASY ISLAND. What a wonderful way to empower your short child! Wonder if they had a Mr. Rouke get-up for the taller kids?

Who is that masked man? The Lone Ranger? The Red Arrow? The Red Lantern? Nope - it's "One of The Brady Bunch"!!! This has got to be the lamest costume yet. "One of The Brady Bunch"??? WTF? They couldn't make a Greg or Marcia mask - or even a generic set of brunette guys and blonde gals??? I feel sorry for the kids who had to wear this dumb get-up. Even cousin Oliver wouldn't be caught dead in this one.

Hey Mr.Kotter, show you how much we love ya- here's a costume with some badly drawn caricatures of you and your favorite students...

As a bonus we have everybody's favorite sweathog, Vinnie Barbarino as played by everybody's favorite Scientologist–John Travolta!
The mask is not that bad, but once again the costume leaves much to be desired. "BARBARINO" it screams with electrifying Dianetically-inspired red and yellow mortices behind a black & white illustration of Travolta's head. Actually, it's growing on me–it kinda has a pop art appeal, in fact it would make a pretty awesome tee-shirt.

Okay, next here's a duo of Halloween costumes that I guess were progressive for their time. First up - we have David Carradine as half-Chinese 19th-Century monk and martial artist Caine from the cult TV series KUNG FU. Of course as a kid, I thought the character was actually named "Kung Fu" and the costume graphic doesn't dispute that concept. Also, I never questioned why the actor was clearly caucasian - I just took it for granted - I guess bald=Asian, like Yul Brynner in THE KING & I. It's believable that Carradine might be at least half Chinese, right? (In fact, the late Carradine had Irish, English, Scottish, Welsh, German, Spanish, Italian, Ukrainian and Cherokee ancestry - seemingly everything BUT Chinese).

As far as the costume goes, the mask is pretty good - but once again the costume part is pretty bad. Though, much like Barbarino - this would make a hot tee-shirt. If Caine ever travelled through time and needed someone to nurse his battle wounds, JULIA would be the perfect woman for the job!
I really like this costume, mostly because it doesn't say "JULIA" across the front of it. The mask is pleasant enough, though a bit dark compared to Diahann Carroll's skin tone, but I'll let that slide. I do like that it has a white nurse's cap on top and that the "cape" is emboldened with medical symbols, making it very authentic (for a kid's costume). What I also like is that this is actually a costume that could be used year-round whenever kids decided to play doctor - unlike most of the Halloween get-ups which seem so specific. This is totally one of my faves.

Sid & Marty Krofft created some of the freakiest and best-loved kids shows of the 1970s. Because most of their shows featured people in strange costumes - Halloween was the perfect time to celebrate the weird and wonderful world of Krofft. Let's start with the classic sci-fi adventure LAND OF THE LOST. This NBC outing was the saga of a family (Marshall, Will and Holly) who, on a routine expedition, met the greatest Earthquake ever known! Somehow they wound up in a strange world populated by friendly and not-so-friendly dinosaurs, ape-like creatures called Pakuni and lizard-men called Sleestaks. I could go on for days about the show: how Marshall was replaced by "Uncle Jack," and how the big-budget, big-screen adaptation sucked so much. But instead, here is a Sleestak costume:

The mask is pretty good - but too bad the smock isn't as fabulous as the shimmering one worn by the TV Sleestaks. I guess I should stop complaining about these damn costumes by now, but WHY is there a horrible drawing of a Pakuni family rather than a portrait of Marshall, Will and Holly??? Another fun Krofft adventure show was ELECTRA WOMAN AND DYNA GIRL - which aired as part of ABC's KROFFT SUPERSHOW. Electra Woman was brilliantly portrayed by delightful daytime diva Deidre Hall (best known as the sometimes Satan-possessed Dr Marlena Evans on DAYS OF OUR LIVES).
Okay, I have to admit - this costume is pretty good, but I wonder how many little girls (or gay men) recycled the mask and put on a lab coat and green contacts to go as Marlena for Halloween???A lesser known Krofft show was ABC's BIGFOOT AND WILDBOY . Here's the costume...
Bruce Vilanch never looked better.

And finally - just for fun here's the over-the-top Witchie-Poo from H.R. PUFNSTUF again cause I just love Billie Hayes. Check out her cool website! She's adorable and does great things for animals.
So there you have it – the good, the bad and the ugly. But enough about Jimmy Osmond.

Three Specials Back to Back!

Where do I begin? At 8PM - short & sassy Olympic skater DOROTHY HAMILL with Gene ("Xanadu") Kelly brought to you by MetLife and Clairol! At 9PM - short & simple JOHN DENVER with The Starland Vocal Band, Joanne ("Three Faces of Eve") Woodward and the shark from "Jaws", sponsored by Timex. What the fuck? And at 10PM, short & Aussie OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN with Elliot ("M*A*S*H") Gould, Rona Barett, Lynda ("Wonder Woman") Carter, Lee ("Six Million Dollar Man") Majors and Nancy (director of "Can't Stop the Music") Walker!!! This is the most insane trio of variety specials...ever.

The Return of The Saturday Morning Revamp

I originally posted this last year. I re-present it here for newer readers who may have interest in what kind of stuff goes through my head at 3 in the morning. Enjoy!

It has long been a television tradition to take a hit prime-time series and adapt it into a Saturday morning cartoon series or animated special. Through the years, I've been fascinated by this concept and have finally compiled a list of these shows. Note: I've left out shows based on comic book superheroes (BATMAN, SUPERMAN, etc.) and comic strip adventures (TARZAN) since they were based on the original source material and not the primetime TV shows. Also, shows based on films that were also TV shows (like PLANET OF THE APES for instance) and primetime animated specials based on shows THE NANNY, THE CONEHEADS and RHODA will be examined at a future date. (Though I already covered THE NANNY here.)After appearing on an an episode of CBS's NEW SCOOBY-DOO MOVIES, THE ADDAMS FAMILY, originally based on the Charles Addams one-panel cartoon, had two runs as animated series, the first aired on NBC from 1973-75, and in 1992 a revival aired on ABC, though this was spun-off from the theatrical film version. Inerestingly, Jackie Coogan and Ted Cassiday reprised their prime-roles of Fester and Lurch on the original version (where Jodie Foster voiced Pugsley!), while John Astin returned to voice Gomez for 1990s series! I'm
NBC's wise-cracking alien sitcom ALF, had two animated shows, ALF (1987-89) and ALF TALES (1988-90). The second series retold classic fairy tales, kinda like SHREK from outer space.THE BIONIC SIX (1987) This syndicated had nothing to do with Steve Austin or Jamie Somers other than it's title. Jennifer Darling, who played Peggy Callahan (Mr. Goldman's assistant) on THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN and THE BIONIC WOMAN voiced a villainess named  Madame-O. Imagine how cool a real Bionic cartoon show would have been!
THE BRADY KIDS - ABC (1972-74) The classic example of the primetime-to-Saturday morning format. Here the kids appear (unexplained) sans parents and Alice–but with the assistance of two pandas named Ping and Pong and a magical mynah bird named Marlon! The original cast recreated their roles-for at least the first season. Wonder Woman and Superman made guest appearances. The pilot originally aired on the amazing ABC weekly anthology series THE SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE.THE COMPLETELY MENTAL MISADVENTURES OF ED GRIMLEY - Canadian comedian Martin Short brought his SCTV and SNL character to this NBC daytime show. (1988-89). Even Count Floyd was featured!
DENNIS THE MENACE (Syndicated/CBS 1985-88) Based on Hank Ketchum's comic strip as well as the classic 1960s TV series. Dennis later was featured in a string of theatrical and TV-movies. Crabby Margaret was surely a stand-out.THE DUKES (CBS 1983) The Hazzards brought their white-trash clan to Saturday mornings via this short-lived Hanna-Barbera effort. I was never a fan of either version of this show. In  fact, I don't think I ever sat through an entire episode of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. Now, BJ AND THE BEAR was another story!EMERGENCY + FOUR - NBC's primetime hit came to Saturday mornings. Gage and Desoto took in four kids to help them save cats and put out fires. (1973-76) Unfortunately Julie London's fabulously sexy Nurse Dixie McCall was left out. Darn, she would have made a great transition to animation!
FONZ & THE HAPPY DAYS GANG - ABC's hit 1950s era becomes a time-travel adventure featuring the new character named Cupcake! Featuring the voices of Henry Winkler, Ron Howard and Donny Most. What, no Anson Williams???(1980-82). I think I was too old to watch most bad cartoons at this point. Thankfully.
THE GARY COLEMAN SHOW (NBC 1982-83) Not based on DIFF'RENT STROKES, but on a TV-movie called THE KID WITH THE BROKEN HALO - in which Gary Coleman dies-and becomes an angel. Creepy.GIDGET MAKES THE WRONG CONNECTION (ABC, 1972) was a SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE from Hanna-Barbera based on the girl surfer series of films and TV series starring Sally Field. Moondoggie still looks pretty dreamy even in cartoon form.GILLIGAN'S ISLAND returned to TV twice in animated form. First on ABC from 1974-77 as THE NEW ADVENTURES OF GILLIGAN and then on CBS from 1982-83 as GILLIGAN'S PLANET. In the first series, Gilligan had a pet monkey named Snubby and on the second show he had a pet alien named Bumper. Filmation, you guys were just sick.THE HARDY BOYS - After two MICKEY MOUSE CLUB serials in the 1950s and a failed CBS primetime pilot, ABC and Filmation brought the boy detectives to Saturday mornings from 1969-71. this time out they had a rock band. A fun ABC live-action primetime series followed in 1977-79 and a Canadian syndicated series ran in 1995. The Cartoon Network's VENTURE BROS. was surely inspired by this show.The beautiful genie named JEANNIE came to CBS in 1973-75 without her supporting cast. Instead of Tony the astronaut, her "master" this time around was a teen teen surfer named Corry (voiced by Mark Hamill). And her friend Babu was such a giant queen! ("Yapple Dapple!")
LASSIE'S RESCUE RANGERS (ABC 1973-75) followed the new adventures of the canine film and TV star. The pilot aired on THE SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE. Poor Lassie. Skip this and watch the recent film version. It's a tear-jerker.
LAVERNE & SHIRLEY IN THE ARMY came to ABC daytime in 1981-82 transforming into LAVERNE & SHIRLEY WITH THE FONZ in 1982-83 and THE MORK AND MINDY/LAVERNE & SHIRLEY/FONZ HOUR in 1982-83. Cindy Williams left this series too. Who can blame her?LOST IN SPACE returned to the airwaves via ABC in 1973 via SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE. Dr. Smith was back, but the Robinsons were a completely different family! Not to be confused by the Space Family Robinson comic book or the futuristic Disney cgi animated film MEET THE ROBINSONS . So little space, so many Robinsons.M*U*S*H was a canine-themed parody of M*A*S*H from the minds of Filmation. It aired as part of the sadly overlooked satiric  show UNCLE CROC'S BLOCK starring the late, great Charles Nelson Rielly. It ran on ABC 1975-76.
MINI-MUNSTERS was another SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE on ABC 1974. Only Grandpa Al Lewis returned. From the title it sounds like they were younger versions of the misunderstood TV family–but the screencap does not indicate that.MUPPET BABIES (CBS, 1984-92) was the hit show that started the trend of infantilizing existing characters. This was followed by FLINTSTONE KIDS, A PUP NAMED SCOOBY-DOO and a slew of other annoyingly bad ideas that populated Saturday mornings throughout the 1980s and 90s.MY FAVORITE MARTIANS ran on CBS 1973-75 with a totally different cast, but the same basic premise of the prime-time hit. I could not fin any actual artwork from this Filmation series. Instead, a fun cover of the Gold Key comic book series.
Juliet Mills, Richard Long and Kim Richards lent their voices to two SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIEs -NANNY & THE PROFESSOR (1972) and NANNY & THE PROFESSOR AND THE PHANTOM OF THE CIRCUS (1973). Phoebe Figalilly is an awesome character! Maybe the two shows will be included when the primetime show is finally released on dvd!THE ODDBALL COUPLE brought Felix and Oscar to kids TV-transformed into a cat and dog: Spiffy and Fleabag. This ran on ABC on 1975-77, after THE ODD COUPLE had ended its five-year run.THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY 2220 AD (CBS 1974-75) took the musical family into space - and Shirley Partridge was renamed Connie!!! It's like THE JETSONS if George died and Jane started a rock band.IT'S PUNKY BREWSTER (NBC 1985-89) Before her breast-reduction surgery, Soleil-Moon Frye and her friends shared animated adventures!STAR TREK (NBC 1973-75) Considered by many to be the all-time best animated series based on a prime-time show. (If not the all-time best animated series!) This effort was intelligent and featured the best Filmation animation ever. A true labor of love.TABITHA AND ADAM AND THE CLOWN FAMILY (ABC, 1972) The BEWITCHED kids are now magical teens and their parents are nowhere to be found in this SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE. This, of course led to the wickedly awful TABITHA prime-time series.And finally we have THAT GIRL IN WONDERLAND (ABC, 1973) - Yet another SATURDAY SUPERSTAR MOVIE. Marlo Thomas dreams her way into various fairy tales in this ambitious Rankin-Bass production. This I'd really love to see again! Well - that's all I have. If there's any you recall, that i haven't touched on, just let me know! A special thanks to all the fine folks out there whose images I've borrowed.