If They Ever Made a _________________ Movie...

Ever sit around with friends or co-workers and cast movies based on other stuff? Sure - who doesn't? Me and my friends are always casting films based on comic books, old TV shows, cartoons, older movies etc. Sometimes we even cast movies based on game shows! Here's the cast of my favorite, WHAT'S MY LINE?

Let me know what you think of my cast - and suggest other movies based on stuff that you'd like me to cast!

I Love Nudists

Who doesn't love old photos of unattractive people doing things they shouldn't be doing...nude? Well, I sure do! This is an old favorite of mine.

Yes - people circa 1960-something participating in some sort of beauty pageant - in the nude. Well, it looks like we have a couple of winners! I have so many questions. Were they a couple? Were they married to each other? Were they swingers? Did they have kids? What ever happened to them? Now 40 years later, are they still nudists? Do their grandkids know about this photo? Do they blog about their days at the nudist colony? Are they on Facebook? I just gotta know. I know my readers may have some possible clues to who these people are and what their story is - so feel free to submit your theories!

50 is the New 17

What do these diverse celebrities have in common? Danny Bonaduce, Judd Nelson, Kyle MacLachlan, Lydia Lunch, Mackenzie Phillips, Marie Osmond, Perry Farrell, Rosanna Arquette, Sheena Easton, Val Kilmer, Apollonia, Vanity, Sade and Barbie®?That's right they are all somewhat plastic and have all been in rehab. Just kidding!!! Actually, that might be true, but what I'm getting at is they are all turning 50 this year!Yes, the Barbie Doll is 50 years old - and she doesn't look a day over 17! She's still long limbed, shapely and beautiful, and still only 11" tall. Barbie’s measurements are 5 inches (bust), 3¼ inches (waist), 5 3/16 inches (hips). Her weight is 7.25 ounces!Ruth and Elliot Handler of Mattel Toys launched the fabulous fashion doll named after their own daughter, Barbie - 50 years ago. Barbie's full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. (Pictured below is a TV Guide advertisement telling you when a TV advertisement for Talking Barbie is going to air - an ad for an ad - how odd!)And strangely, Barbie's soon to be boyfriend Ken, was named after their son. Um, that's kinda gross. (Below is an issue of Dell Comic's BARBIE AND KEN, detailing their European tour, where Barbie almost discovered that Ken was her brother!!!)

By the late 1960s, her adoring public purchased $500 million worth of Barbie products.  And not just dolls - but other cool stuff like records... (Six teen-age tunes sung by Barbie and Ken! I wonder what that sounds like?)

and phones...(How cool is this pink Barbie phone? And not that yucky modern PMS 219  "Barbie pink", but real girl-ish 1960s pink!)
Oddly enough, Barbie has never been married , apparently she just likes to model wedding gowns and leaves Ken at the altar repeatedly. Barbie has managed to keep up with current trends in hairstyles, makeup and clothing, becoming a reflection of the history of fashion and style - for better or worse!The best-selling Barbie doll ever was the freakish white-trashy 1992 Totally Hair Barbie®, with hair from the top of her head to her toes.My sister had this very same Dream House and I was never allowed to play with it. I guess they'd though I'd turn out gay if I played with Barbie. Um, guess what? (Check out that stylish brick fireplace below!)Well, happy 50th birthday to the girl who has it all, has been it all from schoolteacher to astronaut (Barbie has had more than 108 careers and has been a presidential candidate four times as an Independent candidate!) and most all all, always a great Malibu tan.

Will we see fireworks?

I certainly hope so.

LEGENDS - One Night Only!

Legends is a celebrated and rarely performed play written by James Kirkwood, Jr. It originally toured the states from January 1986 to January 1987. The play concerns the rivalry of two aging film stars, originally played by Broadway grande dames Mary Martin and Carol Channing. It also inspired Kirkwood's memoir, Diary of a Mad Playwright. Joan Collins and Linda Evans, former DYNASTY co-stars, toured with the show from September 2006 to May 2007. Both productions never made it to Broadway.

Now - for one night only   - MONDAY, MARCH 23 Legends will be staged at New York's Town Hall starring LYPSINKA, WHOOPI GOLDBERG and CHARLES BUSCH! Also starring BRYAN BATT of TV's MAD MEN! This is a once-in-a-lifetime event. If you love theater and/or are a fan of any of these outstanding performers - you must see Legends!

Go here for the lower priced tickets. For VIP tickets call 800 996 5433.
Also, visit Lypsinka's Blog for more news and info.

Every Trip's a Pleasure Trip!

While my family didn't go on many vacations (I think I can count them all on one hand) - we did manage a road trip to Walt Disney World in 1974. We travelled from New York to Orlando via Domenico bus (mostly because my dad didn't drive) with a bunch of strangers, who we never saw again. What I remember most about the bus trip is that the driver had a meltdown somewhere along the way, that we stayed at a motel called the 1776 Inn (because it cost only $17.76 a night) ...and that we stopped at a wonderful store called Stuckey's along the way! Stuckey's was a roadside souvenir shop that specialized in sweet, sticky pecan snacks and fun things kids could play with in the car. What I remember most about Stuckey's is that my family purchased four things there...

1) A monkey bank carved out of coconut

2) Issue #134 of The Amazing Spider-Man

3) A small bottle of Orange Blossom perfume (for my sister) that came attched to a seashell4) and a Yes & Know puzzle book with Invisible Ink pen!

So of course, upon the occasion of my recent road trip from California to Orlando, I needed to recreate as much of my 1974 experience as possible. This time we drove in a Hybrid (oddly enough, we came across only ONE other Hybrid during our entire two week trip - proving how out of step the rest of the states are with California). We searched high and low for a Stuckey's along the way, to no avail. It seemed like Cracker Barrel Country Store has taken over the roadside stop business and unfortunately the iPhone does not come with a "Stuckey's Finder" app (though the Starbucks Finder came in VERY handy).

Once in Florida, I was sure that we could find a Stuckey's, so I consulted the interweb and discovered there were actually THREE off Route 10 that we somehow missed. Damn! We'll just have to hit on them on the way back. While in Florida, I searched everywhere for Orange Blossom perfume, but the souvenir shops seemed more concerned with stocking alligator carcasses and aborted shark fetuses than perfume.

So after spending 8 days in Orlando, it was time to hit the road back to Burbank - and hopefully to Stuckey's! Finally, we found one - in Florida - but it was basically just an Exxon station that sold some wonderfully retro-packaged Stuckey's products.

I was disappointed, but did manage to buy some Peanut Brittle...

A Pecan Log Roll...

And a Yes & Know puzzle book!!! Complete with magic Invisible Ink pen!!! Hours and hours of "BY-YOURSELF ENJOYMENT" ® I was very happy, but hoped we'd have a more fulfilling Stuckey's experience. Oh well, there were TWO more Stuckey's on the way home. They've got to be better than this one. So we hit the next Stuckey's, also in Florida, but close to the Alabama border.

This one was even worse since they seemed to specialize in Confederate flag memorbilia and right-wing bumper stickers. Ugh. But they did have coconut monkey banks - but I was too disgusted to buy one.

The third and final Stuckey's was in the state of Texas and right out of THE TEXAS CHAINSHAW MASSACRE. On a dirt road with nothing else around. There was a little old lady behind the counter who we named "Maud Frickett" for some reason. There was also some provocative graphitti ("Show Your ____")  in the men's room accompanying a "glory hole" with eyelashes drawn around it. We suspect that Maud drilled the hole and dressed it up with the eyelashes to attract potential customers. I wish I took a photo of it, but this recreation will have to do.

I guess, as Stuckey's once proclaimed, "Every Trip's a Pleasure Trip!"

A not so "happy ending" to the Stuckey's saga, if you ask me.

Black Diva History Month, Part 3 (1942-present)

The final entry in my three-part series. You may notice some obvious omissions - especially when it comes to the disco era and the current wave of divas. There's always next February.
Marlena Shaw (Marlina Burgess, born 1942) an outrageous jazz and cabaret singer who started performing in the 1960s. Sandra Bernhard's take on Me & Mrs. Jones is a direct homage to Marlena's performance style.
Aretha Louise Franklin (born 1942) is "The Queen of Soul”. In 2008,  Rolling Stone ranked Franklin #1 on its list of The Greatest Singers of All Time. Franklin has won 20 Grammys to date, which include the Living Legend Grammy and the Lifetime Achievement Grammy. In 1987, Franklin became the first female artist to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She recently sang in a ridiculous hat at the presidential inauguration of Barack Obama.
Marilyn McCoo (born 1943) is singer, well known for being the lead female vocalist in the group The Fifth Dimension, as well as hosting the popular 1980s music countdown series SOLID GOLD. The Fifth Dimension is a multiple Grammy-winning popular music vocal group, known for the hits Up, Up and Away, Wedding Bell Blues, Stoned Soul Picnic  and Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In.

Leslie Uggams (Born 1943) is an actress and singer, perhaps best known for her role in ROOTS, as Kizzy. Uggams also starred in the 1975 cult film POOR PRETTY EDDIE in which she played a singer who is abused and humiliated by the sick & twisted denizens of a backwoods Southern town. Read my review here. Early in 2009, Uggams will appearas the legendary jazz singer Lena Horne in the stage musical Stormy Weather at the Pasadena Playhouse in California.
Gladys Maria Knight (Born 1944), "The Empress of Soul," is an R&B/soul singer-songwriter. With her group, The Pips she scored many hits including The Midnight Train to Georgia. In 1986, Knight joined with Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, and Elton John on the AIDS benefit single, That's What Friends Are For which won a Grammy. In the spring of 2008, Gladys appeared alongside Chaka Khan, Patti Labelle and Diana Ross at the Divas with Heart concert.Patti LaBelle (Patricia Louise Holte, born 1944) is a R&B and soul singer-songwriter and cookbook author. She fronted two groups, Patti LaBelle and the Bluebelles, and Labelle, which had a breakthrough hit in 1974 with their song Lady Marmalade. She went on to have a solo recording career well into the 1990s.
Diana Ross (Diane Ernestine Ross, born 1944) is a recording artist, actress, and entertainer. During the 1960s, she was the lead singer of The Supremes before leaving for a solo career in the beginning of 1970. In 1972, LADY SINGS THE BLUES featured Ross giving a bravura performance as Billie Holiday, earning her an Oscar nomination. In 1975, Ross starred in the camp classic MAHOGANY and in 1978 she was featured in the commercial and critical failure THE WIZ .
Joan Anita Barbara Armatrading, (Born 1950) is a British singer, songwriter, and guitarist. Armatrading had a string of critically acclaimed albums through the 1970s and 80s, and she is a three-time Grammy Award-nominee.Natalie Maria Cole (Born 1950), the daughter of legendary crooner Nat King Cole is a pop music performer who has won ten Grammy Awards. She achieved success in her early career as an R&B star, but smoothly changed her repertoire toward a more jazz orientated musical style in the early 1990s, including a posthumous duet with her father.
Chaka Khan (Born 1953) is an singer known for hit songs such as I'm Every Woman and I Feel for You. Khan was first featured as a member of the funk band Rufus before beginning her solo career, earning her the title of the "Queen of Funk Soul"Dianne Reeves (Born 1956) is a jazz singer, known for her outstanding live performances as much as her albums. I’ve seen her perform a few times and is quite memorable. She has to date won four Grammy Awards.Cassandra Wilson (Born 1955) is an jazz musician, vocalist, songwriter, and producer. Her cover versions of pop standards and rock songs are modern classics. She has won two Grammy Awards.Mary Edwards (Born 1960-something) is an up and coming composer and performer whose 1960s and 1970s influences are evident in her cinematically-inspired recordings.Dana Elaine Owens (born 1970), better known by her stage name Queen Latifah, is a former rapper who has found much acclaim as smooth-voiced pop singer and actress. Latifah's work in music, film and television has earned her a Golden Globe award, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, two Image Awards, and a Grammy Award.

Black Diva History Month, Part 2 (1930-1940)

Here's a dozen more great ladies of song and screen.Dakota Staton (Aliyah Rabia 1930-2007) was an jazz vocalist who found fame and acclaim with the 1957’s gorgeous The Late, Late Show. One of my favorite LPs for all time.Nina Simone (Eunice Kathleen Waymon 1933-2003) was a Grammy Award-nominated jazz singer, folk songwriter, classical pianist, arranger and civil rights activist. Her work covers an eclectic variety of musical styles including soul, R&B, gospel, and pop music. Known as The High Priestess of Soul, she recorded her last album – the amazing A Single Woman in 1993.
Della Reese (Born 1931), is an actress and singer. She started her career in the late 1950s as a pop singer, best known for her 1959 hit single Don't You Know which was adapted from an aria (Muzetta's Waltz) from Puccini's La Boheme. She subsequently became an actress, best known for the long-running CBS hit TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL.
Barbara McNair (1934-2007) was an sadly underrated singer and actress. In 1969 alone she hosted her own syndicated variety hour, starred alongside Mary Tyler Moore and Elvis in CHANGE OF HABIT (1969) and had a role in the sexy Italian film VENUS IN FURS, directed by Jesus Franco. The following year she portrayed Sidney Poitier's wife in They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! (1970). Ms. McNair continued performing into the 2000s, until her tragic death in 2007.
Ketty Lester (Revoyda Frierson, born 1934) is a singer and television actress, who is best known for her classic 1962 hit single, Love Letters - used effectively in David Lynch's cult classic BLUE VELVET. Lester would later establish herself as a fine actress in the 1970s and 1980s. Appearing on two NBC shows, DAYS OF OUR LIVES from 1975 to 1977, and as Hester-Sue on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE from 1978 to 1983.
Diahann Carroll (Born 1935) is an award-winning actress and songstress. Carroll's first film role was in CARMEN JONES in 1954, followed by the film version of Gershwin's PORGY AND BESS. Carroll is best known for her Emmy-nominated title role in the 1968 show JULIA in 1968. In the 1980s, Carroll joined ABC’s megahit DYNASTY as the jet setter, Dominique Deveraux, half-sister of Blake Carrington. She is still very active in showbiz.
Dame Shirley Veronica Bassey (born 1937) is a British singer most known for performing three James Bond themes GOLDFINGER (1964), DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971), and MOONRAKER (1979). Ms. Bassey celebrated her 60th birthday by recording the hit History Repeating with The Propellerheads. This led to the 2001 album, The Remix Album: Diamonds Are Forever. In 2008 the song Goldfinger was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. Seeing her perform live in San Francisco is one of the most memorable evenings in my life.
Roberta Flack (born 1937) is a Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter and musician who is notable in the areas of jazz, soul, R&B and folk. Flack is best known for singles such as Killing Me Softly with His Song, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Where Is the Love and The Closer I Get to You (two of her many duets with Donny Hathaway), and Feel Like Makin' Love.
Nancy Wilson (born 1937) is a Grammy-winning song stylist. She is known as both "Fancy Miss Nancy”. Her 1962 album with Cannonball Adderly is a alltime classic. She can be heard weekly on the long-running radio show, JAZZ PROFILES, on NPR.
Etta James (Jamesetta Hawkins, born 1938) is an blues, soul, R&B, rock & roll, gospel and jazz singer and songwriter. James is the winner of four Grammys and was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1993, the Blues Hall of Fame in 2001, and the Grammy Hall of Fame both in 1999 and 2008. She is best known for the song At Last. I have seen Etta perform at least a half-dozen times and she never ceases to entertain and amaze me.
Tina Turner (Anna Mae Bullock, born 1939) is an singer and actress whose career has spanned over 40 years and who has won numerous awards. She has been referred to as "The Queen of Rock 'n' Roll". I’ve seen her perform live on several occasions, and am always blown away by her energy. Oddly, I have never seen her big screen bio, WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?Dionne Warwick (Marie Dionne Warrick, born 1940), is singer best known for her partnership with songwriters and producers Burt Bacharach and Hal David. She also teamed with Barry Manilow for some memorable hits. Dionne is second only to Aretha Franklin as the female vocalist with the most Billboard Hot 100 chart hits during the rock era (1955-1999). No need to mention her acting in RENT A COP alongside Burt Reynolds and Liza or the Psychic Friends Network. Oh, I guess I just did.

Look for Part 3 tomorrow.