Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Strange Fiction Double Feature
This post is dedicated to the late Jill Hayworth (1945-2011). Way back in 2009 my dvd player was getting repaired, so I decided to watch a couple of flicks that were sitting on my dvr for the past few weeks. I choose two movies that I thought would have nothing in common. Boy was I ever wrong! The first film was Alan J. Pakula's THE STERILE CUCKOO...
...HORROR HOUSE was distributed by American International.
...and Frankie Avalon in HORROR HOUSE.
...and Frankie has an awkward hex scene.
Will Frankie cross the threshold of terror?
...the other one was Michael Armstrong's HORROR HOUSE (also known as THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR).
Okay, you may be saying, "wait a minute there, Doug - one is a poignant character study and the other is a schlocky horror film - how could these two have anything in common?" And you would be right, because on the surface these two films exist in different universes, but in the Dougsploitation world, they are kissing cousins. I will now present my evidence.
Exhibit A : Both films were released in the same year - 1969. THE STERILE CUCKOO was distributed by Paramount Pictures.
...HORROR HOUSE was distributed by American International.Exhibit B : Both films feature a star who is known for musical comedy in a rare dramatic role. Liza Minnelli in THE STERILE CUCKOO...
...and Frankie Avalon in HORROR HOUSE.Exhibit C : Both films are about a group of experimental college-age young adults. Liza has an awkward sex scene...
...and Frankie has an awkward hex scene.
Exhibit D : Both films feature extensive scenes set at a party where drugs, booze and cigarettes are consumed in great quantities. Liza gets drunk and carries on with her boyfriend's roommate.
...the HORROR HOUSE gang all get drunk and carry a search for their missing friends.
...the HORROR HOUSE gang all get drunk and carry a search for their missing friends.Exhibit E : Both films have characters that are dealing with tragic childhood events. Minnelli's Pookie had a mother who died in childbirth...
...and HORROR HOUSE's Richard had a family incident from his childhood that left him an orphan.
Exhibit F : Both directors were nominated for prestigious screenplay awards in 1983 for subsequent films - Pakula for SOPHIE'S CHOICE...
...and Armstrong for HOUSE OF LONG SHADOWS.
...and Armstrong for HOUSE OF LONG SHADOWS.Exhibit G : Both films feature scenes of orgy-like behavior. Will Liza cross the threshold of pleasure?
Exhibit H : One film features a character named "Dorothy" who looks like Goldie Hawn...
...the other features an actress whose mother played a character named "Dorothy" and co-starred in a terrifically terrible CBS TV special with Goldie Hawn!
Exhibit I : Liza gives a gripping performance which highlighted her acting chops and set the stage for the Award-winning performance in the film version of CABARET...
Exhibit J : Both films featured stunning wardrobes...
...and hair styles!
...while Frankie gripped a flashlight, setting the stage for his role of Teen Angel in the film version of GREASE!
Exhibit J : Both films featured stunning wardrobes......and hair styles!Exhibit K : Liza's storyline has a tragic ending.
Frankie's storyline has a MORE tragic ending...
I rest my case.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Golden Globe Award Winner Pia Zadora!
Pia Zadora won the "Best Female Newcomer" at the Golden Globes for her role in the 1982 neo noir film BUTTERFLY, based on the classic James M. Cain novel. This was after her husband, Turkish cosmetic and liquor mogul Meshulam Riklis wined and dined members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association in Las Vegas and treated them to Pia's cabaret act, resulting accusations that the award had been "bought". You be the judge.
I personally prefer this performance in an amazing Dubonnet commercial from the 80s.
I personally prefer this performance in an amazing Dubonnet commercial from the 80s.
Golden Globe winner...BUTTERFLY
In honor of the Golden Globes, I recently watched the very likable Pia Zadora in a little indie flick called BUTTERFLY (1982, directed by Matteo Ottaviano). 
This notorious potboiler is an adaptation of the classic James M. Cain pulp novel. 
Set in the late 1930s, Zadora plays a dirty little sex kitten named Kady, who has been jilted by the father of her bastard child. 
Stacy Keach plays Jess Tyler, a loner who has spent way too many years guarding an old abandoned silver mine in Nevada. You see, Kady is Jess's full-grown daughter who he has not seen since she was an infant. Kady's wicked little plan is to use her sexy ways to actually sexually arouse her horny old daddy and get him to reopen the silver mine.
and lets him bathe her in possibly one of the most uncomfortable scenes I've ever watched, and I've seen some of 2 GIRLS 1 CUP.
Before you know it old Jess has a full house when his other daughter Janey, his TB-infected wife Belle (Lois Nettleton), her lover Moke Blue (James Franciscus) and Kady's son all show up. Complicating things further, Wash Gillespie (Edward Albert), the bastard's child, proposes marriage to Kady.
After some more incest, a lot of bad dialogue, worse acting and cameos by Ed McMahon, June Lockhart and Orson Welles we learn the dark secret about Kady's birth. You'll just have to watch it to find out what it is!
The accompanying documentary reveals that the film was financed by Pia Zadora's husband, multimillionaire Meshulam Riklis - who met Pia when she was just out of her teens. He apparently thought she was 10 years old and fell in love at first sight. I swear, he actually says this.
The doc also covers the Golden Globe scandal. Pia won "Best Female Newcomer" at the Golden Globes for the film that year, beating out Elizabeth McGovern and Kathleen Turner. Rumor had it that Riklis wined and dined some Hollywood Foreign Press Association members in Vegas and the resulting accusations were that the award had been "bought". Pia's heartfelt revelation that she was mortified by the whole ordeal shows a rare, intimate side of the woman and makes you want to like her even more.
Pia also won "Worst Actress" and "Worst New Star", and Ed McMahon took home "Worst Supporting Actor" in the Golden Raspberry Awards. I'd give this one a 6 outta 10. You'll want to use your fast-forward button quite a bit.
This notorious potboiler is an adaptation of the classic James M. Cain pulp novel. Set in the late 1930s, Zadora plays a dirty little sex kitten named Kady, who has been jilted by the father of her bastard child. Stacy Keach plays Jess Tyler, a loner who has spent way too many years guarding an old abandoned silver mine in Nevada. You see, Kady is Jess's full-grown daughter who he has not seen since she was an infant. Kady's wicked little plan is to use her sexy ways to actually sexually arouse her horny old daddy and get him to reopen the silver mine.So she decides to walk around naked...
and lets him bathe her in possibly one of the most uncomfortable scenes I've ever watched, and I've seen some of 2 GIRLS 1 CUP.Before you know it old Jess has a full house when his other daughter Janey, his TB-infected wife Belle (Lois Nettleton), her lover Moke Blue (James Franciscus) and Kady's son all show up. Complicating things further, Wash Gillespie (Edward Albert), the bastard's child, proposes marriage to Kady.After some more incest, a lot of bad dialogue, worse acting and cameos by Ed McMahon, June Lockhart and Orson Welles we learn the dark secret about Kady's birth. You'll just have to watch it to find out what it is!The accompanying documentary reveals that the film was financed by Pia Zadora's husband, multimillionaire Meshulam Riklis - who met Pia when she was just out of her teens. He apparently thought she was 10 years old and fell in love at first sight. I swear, he actually says this.The doc also covers the Golden Globe scandal. Pia won "Best Female Newcomer" at the Golden Globes for the film that year, beating out Elizabeth McGovern and Kathleen Turner. Rumor had it that Riklis wined and dined some Hollywood Foreign Press Association members in Vegas and the resulting accusations were that the award had been "bought". Pia's heartfelt revelation that she was mortified by the whole ordeal shows a rare, intimate side of the woman and makes you want to like her even more.Pia also won "Worst Actress" and "Worst New Star", and Ed McMahon took home "Worst Supporting Actor" in the Golden Raspberry Awards. I'd give this one a 6 outta 10. You'll want to use your fast-forward button quite a bit.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
THE BIG BUS
I first sawTHE BIG BUS in 1976 when it played at a local theater. As a 12-year-old I thought it was the funniest thing I ever saw. I watched it again this past weekend and um, not so much.
Four years before the brilliant AIRPLANE, the same studio, Paramount released this similar disaster movie send-up. With a cast that included Joseph Bologna as a cannibalistic bus driver with a heart of gold, pre-GREASE Stockard Channing as a smarty-pants nuclear scientist slash stewardess, pre-FLAMINGO ROAD John Beck as a narcoleptic co-driver, post-DELIVERENCE Ned Beatty in the George Kennedy role, Jose Ferrer as a madman in an iron long, Ruth Gordon as Helen Hayes, Harold Gould as an old man, pre-DALLAS Larry Hagman as a doctor, post-M*A*S*H Sally Kellerman as the same character she always plays, pre-SOAP Richard Mulligan as her soon-to-be ex-husband and pre-HOUSE CALLS Lynn Redgrave as a Gloria Swanson clone with a plan of revenge.
The ambitious and convoluted plot involves the maiden voyage of a nuclear-powered bus, the Cyclops from a company called Coyote and the various folks involved in it's journey. The bus itself is a modern miracle - double-deckered, double-long and it includes everything from a cocktail lounge to a bowling alley to a swimming pool. Too bad it takes about 30 minutes before the bus even appears on camera!
Silly subplots deal with Bologna and Channing's romantic reunion, Ferrer's attempts to sabotage the bus, Gordon's dirty old lady trying to help a fallen priest rediscover his faith and Redgrave camping it up like a drag queen. There are also appearances by other TV favorites like Vic Tayback and Stuart Margolin. 
Along the way, there are a few laughs (mostly from Ruth) and some early attempts at the kind of absurd humor that made AIRPLANE so successful. There are also some clever homages to the disaster film genre (notice the paintings in Ferrer's "sitting room") and an absolutely crazy scene involving Bolgona, Channing and a airtight room filled with Coke, Root Beer, Fanta and Fresca. The whole thing never quite gels correctly and it just kinda ends - as if the producers ran out of money. On my old scale of 1 outta 10, this one gets about a 5, mostly worth checking out to see the bus.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
FOXES
Here's a post back from the days when I had time to really write about movie's I watched. Ah, the days of sweet, sweet unemployment. :)
FOXES is a movie I was forbidden to see in high school because some parent in the neighborhood told all the parents that it was about teen prostitutes. Well, FOXES (1980, directed by Adrian Lyne) has been sitting on my dvr for about six months - and I think I'm finally old enough to see this so-called "teen hooker" movie. As Donna Summer's "On the Air" plays, we see the foxes in their natural habit - bed. 
They are so NOT teen prostitutes. Whores maybe, but not hookers. Jodie Foster is Jeanie - the sensible one; Cherie Currie is Annie - the wild one with a dad who's a cop; Kandice Stroh is Deidre, who looks like she's 40; Marilyn Kagan is chubby virginal Madge, who we later learn is dating a older guy named Jay (future trouble-magnet Randy Quaid). 
These four Valley girls are the focus of the film, but we soon meet some of their posse including their younger skate-boarding friend Brad (Scott Baio) who thinks of himself as quite the ladies man and is always coming on to Annie. 
The foxes all think that school sucks and the boys in their lives are all punks (like Robert Romanus, who was Snake on FACTS OF LIFE, and Speed on DAYS OF OUR LIVES).
Their parents are all self-centered and living in their our worlds. Jeanie's parents are divorced - her mother (Sally Kellerman) is having an affair with a married man and her dad manages a glam rock band named Angel. (Angel performs the theme song "20th Century Foxes").
Let me point out that the film's Giorgio Moroder produced soundtrack features an array of artists on the Casablanca record label, including Cher, who's "Bad Love" is used as recurring background music. Various imagery of the band KISS is also seen.
After Madge loses her virginity, the girls celebrate with a dinner party at her boyfriend's that eventually turns into a brawl - and the foxes wind up behind bars. After she's bailed out Sally and Jodie go at it - touching upon all their dysfunctions as a mother and daughter. 
Randy Quaid then yells at his 16 year old girlfriend Madge for trashing his place - "What are you gonna do, be a waitress at Denny's?!" He wants her to come back so he can beat her.
Jodie hangs out with Scott Baio for day and they bond over all sorts of teen stuff. When they get back to her house, Annie calls - she's loaded!!! Jodie and Scott rescue her from the crowd of tough druggies that she's fallen in with. They attempt to sober her up - but she's on pills! Annie decides she's going to Oregon. Jodie shows her some "tough love" - but freaks out when she sees a patrol car she thinks it's her over-protective dad looking for her again.
Annie's wandering around in a drugged out stupor when her pill-popping friends show up. Scott manages to distract them with his crowd-pleasing skateboard antics, but Annie ends up at Tony's Bar. She tries calling Jodie on a pay phone, but Jodie's busy driving her pick-up truck around Mulholland Drive calling "Annie!".
A couple of drunken swingers named Daryl and his wife Bert pick her up and want to have their way with her–but they crash into a moving truck. As the ER doctors attempt to save her life, the entire cast shows up at the hospital, only to find out that "We've lost her." beep...beep...beep....flatline
Then Madge marries creepy Randy Quaid outside the ugliest church ever filmed and Jodie tells mom Sally Kellerman that she loves her as "On the Radio" plays once more and Jodie visits Annie's grave with the flowers from Madge's wedding. The End.
I wish it really was about teen hookers.
FOXES is a movie I was forbidden to see in high school because some parent in the neighborhood told all the parents that it was about teen prostitutes. Well, FOXES (1980, directed by Adrian Lyne) has been sitting on my dvr for about six months - and I think I'm finally old enough to see this so-called "teen hooker" movie. As Donna Summer's "On the Air" plays, we see the foxes in their natural habit - bed. They are so NOT teen prostitutes. Whores maybe, but not hookers. Jodie Foster is Jeanie - the sensible one; Cherie Currie is Annie - the wild one with a dad who's a cop; Kandice Stroh is Deidre, who looks like she's 40; Marilyn Kagan is chubby virginal Madge, who we later learn is dating a older guy named Jay (future trouble-magnet Randy Quaid). These four Valley girls are the focus of the film, but we soon meet some of their posse including their younger skate-boarding friend Brad (Scott Baio) who thinks of himself as quite the ladies man and is always coming on to Annie. The foxes all think that school sucks and the boys in their lives are all punks (like Robert Romanus, who was Snake on FACTS OF LIFE, and Speed on DAYS OF OUR LIVES).Their parents are all self-centered and living in their our worlds. Jeanie's parents are divorced - her mother (Sally Kellerman) is having an affair with a married man and her dad manages a glam rock band named Angel. (Angel performs the theme song "20th Century Foxes").Let me point out that the film's Giorgio Moroder produced soundtrack features an array of artists on the Casablanca record label, including Cher, who's "Bad Love" is used as recurring background music. Various imagery of the band KISS is also seen.After Madge loses her virginity, the girls celebrate with a dinner party at her boyfriend's that eventually turns into a brawl - and the foxes wind up behind bars. After she's bailed out Sally and Jodie go at it - touching upon all their dysfunctions as a mother and daughter. Randy Quaid then yells at his 16 year old girlfriend Madge for trashing his place - "What are you gonna do, be a waitress at Denny's?!" He wants her to come back so he can beat her.Jodie hangs out with Scott Baio for day and they bond over all sorts of teen stuff. When they get back to her house, Annie calls - she's loaded!!! Jodie and Scott rescue her from the crowd of tough druggies that she's fallen in with. They attempt to sober her up - but she's on pills! Annie decides she's going to Oregon. Jodie shows her some "tough love" - but freaks out when she sees a patrol car she thinks it's her over-protective dad looking for her again.
Annie's wandering around in a drugged out stupor when her pill-popping friends show up. Scott manages to distract them with his crowd-pleasing skateboard antics, but Annie ends up at Tony's Bar. She tries calling Jodie on a pay phone, but Jodie's busy driving her pick-up truck around Mulholland Drive calling "Annie!".
A couple of drunken swingers named Daryl and his wife Bert pick her up and want to have their way with her–but they crash into a moving truck. As the ER doctors attempt to save her life, the entire cast shows up at the hospital, only to find out that "We've lost her." beep...beep...beep....flatlineThen Madge marries creepy Randy Quaid outside the ugliest church ever filmed and Jodie tells mom Sally Kellerman that she loves her as "On the Radio" plays once more and Jodie visits Annie's grave with the flowers from Madge's wedding. The End.I wish it really was about teen hookers.
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