Sooner or Later: The Special Edition

Here's another "rerun" post from the old days (2007) -enhanced with new images!Imagine a 13-year-old Julie Kavner lookalike named Jessie. Now imagine Jessie reading a trashy romance novel in class when she's supposed to be watching a slide show about the birds and the bees. You see, Jessie's a bit mature for her age and her teacher Lynn Redgrave knows this. Lynn also knows how to put in a plug for the original BIONIC WOMAN series, which had just jumped to NBC the very season that SOONER OR LATER originally aired.After school, Jessie makes a trip to the local mall with her nerdy blonde friend (we will call her Penny Pingleton because I don't think they ever say her name!). Once at Gimbels, Hollywood relic Vivian Blaine gives Jessie a makeover that transforms her into a 16-year-old whore. Then Viv charges Jessie $10 for a jar of Pond's Cold Cream. Outside of the mall, Michael Sky (Rex Smith) his Sky Band are giving a free concert. Jessie rushes to the stage and stares at Rex with his Leif Garrett hair, Godspell suspenders and camel toe. We can tell she's already smitten.

Next up we see Jessie in her bedroom, teaching herself to play guitar. Penny thinks she sucks, and tells her to get real lessons. Oh, then Penny tells Jess how she wants to makeout with her dentist. This gives me the creeps. Especially when we see her dentist - he looks like Larry from THREE'S COMPANY. Jess decides Penny is right and takes the bus crosstown with her guitar, fending off all the mean folks who ride the bus. She arrives at the Eddie Nova Guitar Institute, where TV Land survivor Morey Amsterdam charges her $10 bucks for a guitar lesson - taught by...guess who? Michael Sky! With his lion's mane of hair, shirt wide open and ultra tight jeans, Jessie's putty in his hands. I think we learn that he's 17. Once back home, we meet Jessie's cool mom (Barbara Feldon), who we will call "99".For her second lesson , Jess decides to dress to impress and starts to tell Rex lies about herself, saying she's 16, goes to Catholic High School and likes to jog. Rex drives her home, where she wipes off here make-up in time to light some candles in an obviously Jewish ceremony. We now meet Jess's dad - Judd Hirsch from TAXI!The next day, Jess goes jogging (wearing an ascot!) as "You Take My Breath Away" by Rex Smith blares over the soundtrack. Jess meets up with Rex and pretends to twist her ankle to have him pay more attention to her. Afterwards, Rex takes his friends for a ride and we meet a slutty redhead who wants to get in Rex's pants! Later Jessie is seen putting on her makeup on the bus...and then sneaks into a crowd of high school girls so Rex will think she's as old as them when he picks her up.
At a Sky Band rehearsal, slutty redhead tells Jess that she was wondering if Rex was gay! After the rehearsal, Rex offer Jess a beer and then forces her to perform a song with him in front of all his friends. She does and they kiss!

Next, Jess is back home for a boring Jewish dinner. Grandma complains that the soup is too salty - AFTER she eats most of it! Then Judd puts in a plug for DAYS OF OUR LIVES. (wow that makes two NBC references that are both still relevant!! Editor's note: the new BIONIC WOMAN has since been cancelled) Next Judd & 99 share an uncomfortable discussion about sex and who is gonna tell Jessie all about it. Grandma then takes upon herself to tell Jessie about her love for an older boy when she was a teen. The next day, Rex asks Jess out to see MANDINGO!!! Holy shit - MANDINGO!!!

While he readies himself for a date with 99, Judd treats us all to "Sunrise, Sunset" from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF - Wow they really are Jewish! Jessie is all impatient with her parents because she wants them to leave so she can sneak out with Rex. The parents and Granny leave, and Rex picks up Jess and takes her to the drive-in. Jess nervously orders EVERYTHING from the snack bar and eats it all. They then make out and Jess tells Rex that she's loved him since the shopping mall. Rex can tell she is hiding something from him. She confesses "I'm not Catholic...and I'm 13".
Rex freaks out and drives her home. She tells him she loves him and she didn't mean to be a tease. He drives away and she proceeds to eat an entire Sara Lee chocolate cake...and cries. She really is a young Julie Kavner! Meanwhile Rex buys a beer and redhead slutty girl tries to get all up on him. He rejects her...again. The next day, Jessie is sad, 99 tries to talk to her about sex -but there's nothing this little bitch doesn't already know, after all she's seen MANDINGO! Then 99 tells her about the older boy at sleepaway camp. Hmmm...first Grandma, then 99, then Penny now Jess...all young girls LOVE older guys!!!

In the end, Morey tries to teach Jess some fancy guitar moves, but then Rex shows up at the music school wearing gold cowboy boots and proclaims that he loves her back - and then they pledge to "take it real slow"...
Wow - what an epic love story. Denise Miller is really charming as young Jessie, and the film is highly watchable, despite the underlying creepy subtext about young girls and older guys. Penny even has a framed photo of Burt Reynolds in her bedroom - and she's overjoyed when she develops a cavity -another excuse to visit her sleazy dentist!

Special thanks to Brett Freedman for lending me this dvd. I can see why he loves it so much. This one's a keeper! 10 out of 10 "Huhs".

NORMAN...IS THAT YOU?

From 2010...

NORMAN...IS THAT YOU? (1976, directed by George Schlatter of LAUGH-IN fame) is a movie that I've always known existed, even as a kid, but for one reason another never got a chance to see. I always thought Norman Lear was somehow connected because of the title and the casting. I was silly.

Until now. The movie (based on a 1970 play by Ron Clark and Sam Bobrick) opens with Ben Chambers (Redd Foxx, then star of Lear's SANFORD & SON) riding on a bus, as Smokey Robinson croons a Motown ditty about Redd being an “old-fashioned man, living in a brand new world.” Redd then arrives in Los Angeles and transfers to a taxicab which takes him directly to Hollywood (though it looks like WEST Hollywood to me).

Redd arrives at his son Norman's apartment building as his hunky son awakens from his waterbed slumber in nothing but a pair of form-fitting blue undies. Norman (Michael Warren of HILL STREET BLUES), in a panic, directs Redd to take the stairs to delay his arrival. Norman then puts on a paint of form-fitting pistachio green slacks that fit him like the skin on a grape. Norman attempts to awaken the other person in the bed, who appears at first to be a very lazy and annoying woman. But is soon revealed to be an extremely feminine and annoying man named Garson (Dennis Dugan, later of RICHIE BROCKLEMAN, PRIVATE EYE).

Garson just had the "most faaaaaabulous dream” instantly informing us that he is the embarrassing gay character that we've all seen a million times before. The mincing queen who wears caftans and delivers lines like he's Kay Thompson. To the film's credit, in 1976 we probably hadn't seen many characters like this before. But, why on earth would Norman be attracted to this? To each his own, I guess.

Norman, clearly embarrassed by Garson, makes him hide as he lets Redd into the apartment. Redd notices Norman's exquisite 1976 decor and comments on the purple drapes and declares "to each his own." (Just like I did a paragraph above!) After introducing Garson to Redd as his "neighbor" who came by to use the toilet, we learn that pops is here to visit because Norman's mother ran off to Mexico with his uncle, keeping it "all in the family". ;)

Garson, meanwhile, is visiting his puppeteer friend Larry Davenport (Waylon Flowers, later of MADAME'S PLACE). That's right, Garson's friends are even gayer than he is! Not only does Madame answers the phone when Norman calls, but Madame's sassy (nameless) black friend also makes a brief appearance, causing me to scream with laughter and disbelief. Meanwhile, Redd unpacks his suitcase and starts going through his son's drawers. So to speak. First he finds some frilly underthings and then he finds an Asian-style gown and jumps to the conclusion that Norman has a lady friend. Just then, Garson, Norman's lady friend, reappears and Redd begins to put two and two together.

After first declaring that he'll kill his gay son, he then calms down and tries to figure out what he and his wife did wrong. “Maybe we toilet trained him too soon?” Yeah, right...that's it Redd. After taking a walk through Hollywood, Redd pops into a bookstore and asks to see the gay section. He ends up picking up a bunch of books at random and buys them all from Barbara Sharma (of RHODA fame). He then plants himself on a park bench and reads them all. Out loud. He seems to harp on the fact that one out of every six people has had a homosexual experience. Hmmm....

After he absorbing all the knowledge he can, he comes to the conclusion that his son ISN'T gay - he's just on drugs. “Thank God my son is on drugs!” Did Redd ever consider that Norman is gay AND on drugs?
So Redd's denial continues and he breaks up with Garson for Norman, and they he hires CLEOPATRA JONES to fuck the gay out of his son. Yes, the stunning Audrey the hooker (Tamara Dobson) attempts to turn Norman straight, but alas the boy flees for the comfort of his fruit fly Melody (Vernee Watson of CARTER COUNTRY and a hundred other sitcoms), who gets him drunk in order to fuck the gay outta him. Doesn't work, and pisses her off.

Meanwhile, back at gay, Garson comes over and bonds with Redd and the two go to see Madame's drag puppet show. Redd later has a dream where he's decked in glitter and accepting some gay award. GLAAD? When Garson awakens Redd from the dream, the old man yells "Rape!" Yeah right, like Garson is a top!

The next day, Norman's mother Beatrice (the legendary Pearl Bailey) shows up and when Redd tells her that their son is gay, she's not having it. Until Audrey the hooker shows up and Beatrice asks her, "Norman...is that you?".

Then real Norman shows up and announces that he's joined the Navy! What? Yes - so Norman decides to abandon his lover, and his parents by joining the military. Don't ask, don't tell. But what of poor tragic Garson? Well, Redd invites his new "son" to live with him and his wife in Arizona and to work in their shop (I'm thinking it's a dry cleaners for some JEFFERSON-inspired reason). All's well that ends well. Before the end credits Redd looks out to the viewing audience and wonders who out there might be gay as Thelma Houston belts out “One Out Of Every Six.”

Wow.  I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I guess despite all it's internalized homophobia, the film was way ahead of its time. I mean, there are still gay films being made today that deal with this same exact subject and are no less preachy and just as filled with bad stereotypes. The film totally feels like a stage production, though the original characters were Jewish and not African American. I think this was a bold choice by the producers since homophobia was (and still is) very prevalent in the black community. I also think the late actors Redd Foxx and Pearl Bailey deserve to be commended for appearing in a project that was intended to teach tolerance in a time when it wasn't very popular. Despite it's many flaws (and numerous plot holes), the film is certainly a curiosity and should be seen (to be believed!). 7 outta 10.

THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW: The Loud & The Furious

From 2010

I'm currently nearing the end of Disc 7 in the eight-disc THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW Complete Series collection. For those who are unfamiliar with the show, the series was a two-season wonder from producer Desi Arnaz that ran on NBC Sunday night between megahits WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY and BONANZA from 1967 through 1969.

THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW was a big, brassy sitcom built around sweet, lovable wisecracking actress Eve Arden and loud, abrasive musical-comedy performer Kaye Ballard. The two are cast as long-time neighbors: WASPy Eve Hubbard and ethnic Kaye Buell whose college student children (Eve's daughter Susie and Kaye's son Jerry) have decided to marry. The two moms are constantly competing with each other — and for attention of their lovelorn children. After the kids marry they move into the converted garage between the Hubbard and Buell houses, creating an additional reasons for friction between the Moms.

Eve and Kaye's henpecked husbands, the cantankerous lawyer Herb Hubbard (played by Herbert Rudley) and frugal TV writer Roger Buell (played by gay actor Roger C. Carmel in season one, replaced by gay actor Richard Deacon in season two), always get drawn into the ludicrous situations their wives create. The Lucy-like plots usually wind up with all four of the parents either covered in some kind of goop or performing a big musical number.

While some episodes border on unwatchable, there are several that stand out as great time capsules of the late 1960s when "the generation gap" seemed to be the trigger of so many comedic conflicts between television characters. One interesting episode features handsome game show panelist Scoey Mitchell as a lawyer who tries to rent the garage when Susie and Jerry plan on moving out. The girls are trying to be open minded about having an African-American tenant but wind up coming off as extremely prejudiced. It's an awkward situation and aside from a terrible watermelon joke, it's very well-played.

Jokes always seem to stem from situations involving Roger's cheapness, Kaye's Italian heritage, and Eve's penchant for redecorating. The Hubbards and Buells have a love-hate-love relationship and often end up arguing loudly about something ridiculous before each episode is over. Kaye and Eve can't help but interfere in almost every aspect of their kids' lives - a situation aggravated even further in season two when Susie gets pregnant.

Other recurring gags include Eve being referred to as "Mother Hubbard", the garage door in the kid's apartment opening to comedic effect, Kaye insisting that their grandchild will be a boy and Eve convinced it will be a girl (spoiler alert - Susie has twins!). All-in-all the show is quite entertaining. The live studio audience adds to the theatrical feeling and the performers always seem like they are giving it their all. A  special treat and curiosity on Disc 8 is the unsold Desi Arnaz pilot for THE CAROL CHANNING SHOW. 

Another World 50th Anniversary: The Final Word

Tom Eplin as Jake McKinnon and the suspects in the "Who Shot Jake?" mystery storyline.

Pictured Left to Right: Cali Timmons as Paulina, a mystery woman as Marley Love, Carmen Duncan as Iris Wheeler, Anne Heche as Vicky Hudson and Anna Stuart as Donna Love. If only Judi Evans was already playing Paulina–then this would be a perfect shot.
Here's the cast from 1982. How many can YOU name?
Here's a candid shot from the 19th anniversary party (1983).Here's a 25th Anniversary ad from The Hollywood Reporter circa 1989.

And finally, from 20 years ago - as the cast celebrates 30 years with a retro-themed party. Thanks for humoring me and my obsession with the continuing story called ANOTHER WORLD.

Another World 50th Anniversary: The Romance Novels

Today is the 50th Anniversary of ANOTHER WORLD, that soap that I followed for most of it's 35 year run on NBC. Today I present several romance novels inspired by the series.

The first, Another World by Kate Lowe Kerrigan was published in 1978. With an amazing new logo and wonderful cover art, this novelization was successfuil enough to spawn a sequel.Published later that same year, Another World II picked up right from where the first ended. It went back to press with a new cover for it's second printing.
Classic.In 1986, a line of novels called Soaps & Serials was launched and Another World was included in the line-up. The 14-book series adapted storylines from 1967 to 1976. Each book had it's own subtitle.

When Felicia Gallant came to Bay City - she brought her history of being a romance novelist along with her. Among her fictional titles were the classics : The Bride of Bombay, Doctor's Desire, Ebony Heartbeat, Embers in the Snow, Fallen Females, Gardenias for Gwendolyn, Gone with the Dawn, The Heart That Heals, Into the Fire, The Lady and the Laborer, Lust in the Kremlin, The Manly Heart, Moonlight Desires, Paradise Delayed, Passion's Progress, Savage Love, Torrid Tundra Nights and White Snow in Hell.  In the real world, actress Linda Dano teamed with writer Rebecca Flanders to create Dreamweaver, a Harlequin Romance. A novel idea!

Another World 50th Anniversary: TV Guide Ads

Over its 35 years on NBC, ANOTHER WORLD was occasionally promoted by the network. Here is a collection of TV Guide print advertisements that appeared during the 1980s and 1990s.

The Passion Never Ends was NBC's tagline for its daytime line-up back in the early 80s. Of the 4 soaps featured in these ads, only one, DAYS OF OUR LIVES is still airing on the network. In fact, DAYS is the last soap standing on the peacock network. AW's heroine Rachel Cory (Victoria Wyndham) is trapped! She is married to powerful publishing magnate Mac Cory - but pregnant with the child of sexy con-man Mitch Blake (William Gray Espy)!

Apparently things have gone from bad to worse for Rachel as now Mitch has been shot - and she could now be charged with his murder. Spoiler: He didn't die, he just left the show and came back years to be reunited with his teen-age son Matt. Notice Mac Cory's daughter Iris Wheeler (Beverly McKinsey) in the ad for her short-lived spin-off series TEXAS.

Bask in our Afterglow. THE DOCTORS and TEXAS are now gone - replaced by SEARCH FOR TOMORROW (transplanted from CBS) and the early reality show called FANTASY (hosted by the odd trio of Peter Marshall, Leslie Uggams and Glen Scarpelli!). ANOTHER WORLD was deep into the love triangle between Mac Cory's son Sandy (Chris Rich), his wife Blaine Ewing (Laura Malone) and the brilliantly conniving Cecile DePoulignac (Nancy Frangione). It was around this time that Cecile hired Alma Rudder (the chilling Elizabeth Franz), a crazed mountain woman to kidnap and poison Blaine AND to dress up as a giant Raggedy Ann doll and torment poor Blaine. It was pure genius!

Cecile's best friend Donna Love (Anna Stuart) didn't like the fact that her brother Peter (John Hutton) was going to marry the very common Sally Frame (Mary Page Keller), so Donna employed Cecile to break up the romance between them. It worked. :)
Ah, Cecile strikes again! Have I mentioned how she is my all-time favorite AW character? Followed closely by Donna Love. Nancy Frangione and Anna Stuart were incredible whenever they shared screen time. It was always a bitchfest royale!
Here's an odd ad for an Engagement Calendar that also promoted a bizarre storyline involving a killer named "Ross" who did in a bunch of minor characters. Pictured: Donna Love, Catlin Ewing (Thomas Ian Grffith), Kathleen McKinnon (Julie Osburn), Sally Frame, Cecile DePoulignac, Ross (Robert Phalen), Cass Winthrop (Stephen Schnetzer) and Nurse Emily Benson (Alexandra Neil). By the way, I think this was around the time Cecile became the Queen of Tanquir.Sally Frame, who was dumped by Peter Love eventually fell in love with Catlin Ewing. The two became a super-couple and were well on their way to the altar. Unfortunately Catlin's dead wife Brittany Peterson decided to show up. Played by EDGE OF NIGHT's Sharon Gabet - Brittany was left deaf mute after a boating accident. Gabet's performance was amazing.

Catlin was torn between Sally and Brittany. He eventually chose Sally and Brittany ended up with Peter Love! (see above). Unfortunately Peter (now played by Marcus Smythe) evolved into a villain in the tradition of his father Reginald (John Considine) and ended up on the wrong side of Brittany's shotgun.

Fanny Grady aka romance novelist Felicia Gallant (Linda Dano) married Brittany's rescuer Zane Lindquist (Patrick Tovatt) in a lavish ceremony attended by Liberace!
Evil mastermind Carl Hutchins (Charles Keating), ex-husband of Donna Love returned to Bay City to settle and old score with Mac Cory. Along the way he terrorized the hot young lovers Jake McKinnon (Tom Eplin as Kathleen's cousin), Marley Love (Ellen Wheeler as Donna's "sister"), Nancy McGowan (Jane Cameron as Rachel's sister) and Chris Chapin (Don Scardino).

As a result of Carl's machinations, a jar of poisoned dust travelled throughout Bay City killing off some minor characters.

The Sin Stalker came to Bay City and killed off a bunch of beloved minor characters like Maisie the waitress and glamorous architect Quinn Harding (Petronia Paley). Crystal Gayle managed to survive though - and got to perform the new theme song.

One will be betrayed. One will disappear, One will die. Jake and Marley broke up thanks to Marley's twin Victoria; Catlin became a widower when Sally (now played by ALL MY CHILDREN transplant Taylor Miller) was killed by Carl Hutchins; Kathleen disappeared and Cass set to to find her. Carl Hutchins eventually tried to kill her too.

Donna Love (now played by Philece Sampler, who was an amazing Renee DiMera on DAYS) was swept away again by her former stable boy Michael Hudson (Kale Brown)-but an affair with his Viet Nam vet brother John (David Forsyth) put an end to their happiness.

Another serial killer tormented Bay City. I'm not sure if this was Dr. Alan Glaser or Dr. Fax Newman, in fact Dr. Bailey Thompson and Dr. Taylor Benson were also twisted. One raped Sharlene Frame (Anna Holbrook) when she was a child, the other tried to kill her with an exploding boat. Bay City had its share of crazed doctors.

Yay! Cecile's back! The producers would convince Nancy to come back to the show every few years to spice things up- and it always worked. Especially when teamed with Cass Wintrop.

The show celebrated it's 25th Anniversary in style with a week-long reunion party that brought many much-loved characters from the Matthews and Frame family trees. This ad featured hot young super-couple Sam Fowler (Mitch Blake's younger brother, played by Robert Kelker-Kelly) and Amanda Cory (Rachel's daughter, played by Sandra Ferguson).

Two two "hosted" 2 special episodes that examined the changing rules of romance and sex in the 1990s.I'm not sure if this ad in in the right order, but whatever. Here we have Michael Hudson and Donna Love (notice Philece's head on Anna Stuart's body); Lisa Grady (Felicia's neice, played by Joanna Going) and Jamie Frame (Rachel's son, now played by ALL MY CHILDREN vet Larry Lau); and Cheryl McKinnon (Kathleen's baby sister played by Kristen Marie) and my favorite AW hunk ever Scott LaSalle (the son of Reginald Love, played by Hank Cheyne).

The final ad for ANOTHER WORLD - Jake McKinnon is determined to win back Paulina Cory (Mac Cory's daughter, played by the stunning and talented Judi Evans) from Ian Rain (Julian McMahon in his pre-NIP/TUCK days).