Retro Action-Adventure-Thon

If you are like me and LOVE vintage TV action shows, you may want to check out the L.os Angeles' Paley Center event next Friday and Saturday. (Friday, September 21, 2012 @ 7:00 pm and Saturday, September 22 starting @ 10:00 am). The Retro Action-Adventure-Thon promises to be a thrill-packed weekend of rare screenings, exhibits, and onstage conversations celebrating a groovy collection of some of TV’s greatest action-adventure shows and TV specials.

The Paley Center and The Warner Archive Collection start the weekend by welcoming Patrick Duffy, star of MAN FROM ATLANTIS Friday at 7PM. Duffy will be interviewed by TV GUIDE's Will Keck and an episode of the series will be screened. Before DALLAS, Duffy turned heads as NBC's answer to Aquaman. See my previews posts about this awesome show and it's ephemera.

Saturday morning starts, appropriately with a cartoon - but not just any old cartoon - Hanna-Barbera's acclaimed adaptation of Ray Bradbury's THE HALLOWEEN TREE at 10AM.

At 11AM, journey back in time to the late 1960s when Hanna-Barbera's THE HERCULOIDS ruled the Saturday-morning landscape.

At 12noon, TV's TARZAN Ron Ely for an interview and screening of a Season One episode!

At 2PM, stick around for a rare screening of an second season episode of SUPERBOY featuring Ron Ely as Superman!

At 3PM, man's man Clint Walker joins the celebration for a conversation with Warner Archive's own hero, Mr. George Feltenstein and a screening of a CHEYENNE episode.

At 5PM, take a tour of the WARNER BROS.' TELEVISION OUT OF THE BOX exhibit - celebrating nearly 60 years of great WB Television!

At 6PM, Michael Gray, co-star of SHAZAM!, the Filmation cult classic, will take the stage for an interview by author and media critic, Alonso Duralde. For more on SHAZAM!, go here.

And finally, at 8PM - THE LEGENDS OF THE SUPER HEROES: THE CHALLENGE will make its big-screen debut.

For more on this unbelievable show go here. I hope I see some Dougsploitation fans at this event - if you do attend, be sure to say "hello"!

Eastern​/​Central & Mountain​/​Pacific

I really haven't had the chance to do much blogging lately, but when my talented friend Mary Edwards sent me the link to her new album, Eastern/Central & Mountain/Pacific, I knew I just had to tell the world about it. This musical trip through time sounds and feel like it was made just for me - and I know some (if not all) of my readers will feel the same way. Let's take a look at it song by song.

The opening track, Time and I just sweeps you away to a luscious stoned soul picnic where echoes of The Fifth Dimension and Swing Out Sister drown out all the noise of the surrounding madworld and set the tone for the rest of the addictive playlist.

The Girl Who KnewTomorrow is the theme from that lost Susan Dey ABC Movie of the Week she did after The Partridge Family, but before L.A. Law. You know the one where she's a college student with ESP who falls for a married professor played by Ted Bessell? Set the dvr for that one.

Bouleversant invokes a warm spring day at an outdoor cafe, where everything should be perfect, but something is very wrong. Melancholia sets in as memories of a love lost overwhelm the mood, but not enough to spoil the day.

Eventual World is, of course, the theme song from Karen Valentine's Room 222 spin-off that follows Alice Johnson to San Francisco as she takes a job as an legal assistant at a Union Square-based law firm. Co-starring David Hartman, Barbara McNair and a young Robert Urich. God, I loved that show. All 13 episodes.

Neil Simon's Daydream Window was a TV-move that adapted his little-known play and starred Barbara Harris as a disillusioned divorcee and Jack Klugman as her TV-producer ex-husband. Turns out Jack was creating a sitcom based on their divorce, and Barbara hires lawyer Tony Roberts to stop him! Look for Robert Guillaume in a breakout performance as Roberts' best friend.

Low Soft Shoulder takes me away to a sultry Southern night, minus the Glen Campbell, thank you.

Close Up brings back visions of Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson sipping Martini & Rossi on the rocks. Say "yes".

And lastly, Something in the Sunshine is the gorgeous closing theme to the Dusty Springfield Variety Hour with this week's guests The Carpenters, Laura Nyro, Herb Alpert and Mary Edwards.

I hope these images help you feel the way I do about Mary and her beautiful music. Visit Ms. Edwards on Facebook as well.

Happy 50th Birthday, Kristy McNichol

Here's a post from a few years back, slightly updated. To me, September 11th will always be remembered as Kristy McNichol's birthday. Born 50 years ago today in Los Angeles, Kristy is best known for her roles as tomboy 'Buddy' Lawrence on the ABC drama series FAMILY (1976–80) and later as tomboy-ish Barbara on the NBC sitcom EMPTY NEST.Kristy's first TV series was the CBS drama APPLE'S WAY (1974). The short-lived family series was unfortunately scheduled Sunday evenings at 7:30PM opposite the still-popular THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY on NBC.
Then came FAMILY, the highly acclaimed series for which McNichol won two Best Supporting Actress Emmy Awards. I remember watching this show with my parents, and wishing that my family was more like the Lawrences.

In 1977 and 1978 McNichol appeared on two Carpenters Christmas specials. Following in Karen and Richard's footsteps, Kristy and her brother Jimmy recorded an album, Kristy & Jimmy McNichol, and released a single covering the Chiffons 1963 hit "He's So Fine".
Also in 1978, she starred in the acclaimed NBC TV-movie SUMMER OF MY GERMAN SOLDIER and had a role in the hit Burt Reynolds comedy THE END. I still think THE END was the best film Burt ever starred in.Then came LITTLE DARLINGS. This dirty little 1980 teen comedy co-starred teen rival Tatum O'Neal. Kristy and Tatum played high school girls away at summer camp involved in a contest to lose their virginity to Matt Dillon.
I cannot tell you how much I loved this film when I saw it in high school. I so wanted to be friends with slutty girls like Kristy and Tatum...and boys like Matt.After the success of LITTLE DARLINGS, Kristy appeared with Dennis Quaid and Mark Hamill in THE NIGHT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA (1981), based on the wacky Vicki Lawrence song from the early 1970s. From what I recall, the film does not tell the same story as the song.
Later that year, Kristi co-starred with Marsha Mason in Neil Simon's ONLY WHEN I LAUGH and was nominated for a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress.
McNichol's next project was the ill-conceived musical THE PIRATE MOVIE, co-starring THE BLUE LAGOON's frequently naked gay icon Christopher Atkins. This film was a crazy Gilbert & Sullivan mash-up that I tried watching about a year ago and it made my head hurt.
Next up came WHITE DOG, a controversial and highly acclaimed 1982 drama directed by Samuel Fuller, based Romain Gary's 1970 novel of the same title. The film depicts the intense struggle of a dog trainer named Keys (Paul Winfield), trying to retrain a dog that is trained to attack any black person. The film carries a powerful anti-racism message, but due to its sensitive subject matter it received very minimal release. It is currently out on dvd as part of The Criterion Collection.
When McNichol stormed off the set of the film JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, rumors of alleged drug use made Kristy a tabloid darling. She was diagnosed with clinical depression, and she eventually completed the film, but her professional reputation was damaged.After taking a few years off, Kristi was ready to work again. In 1988, she was cast in EMPTY NEST, a spin-off from the huge Susan Harris hit, THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Kristi seemed happy, healthy and looked great. But unfortunately her on-set behavior soon became an issue and was she let go from the series 1992 when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She did return to the series for the final episode in 1995, which became her last screen appearance to date.Since 1995, Kristy has only taken voiceover roles. Her last public statement was in June 2001, when she said: "A lot of people have wondered what I've been up to. I retired from my career after 24 years. My feeling was that it was time to play my biggest part — MYSELF! I must say that it has been the best thing that ever happened to me. So many fans are disappointed that I'm not currently acting, however some may not realize that the process I'm in at this time is necessary and vital for my personal happiness and well-being."

Happy Birthday Kristy, this fan hopes to see you on screen again one day soon.

Hal David (1921-2012)

THE BEGUILED

After Clint Eastwood's puzzling appearance at the RNC the other night, here's a post from 2008 harking back to the days of a kinder, gentler, saner Clint.
Part Civil War epic, part baroque melodrama, part dirty soap opera, part gothic horror movie, part gender politics study and part Brothers Grimm fairy tale: THE BEGUILED (directed by Don Siegel) stars Clint Eastwood in his most intriguing and unusual role since he was elected mayor of Carmel, Ca.

After the requisite montage of real Civil War atrocities via sepia-tinted black and white photos...we arrive somewhere in Louisiana during the last days of the Civil War. Eastwood is John McBurney, a Yankee soldier who is near death after falling out of a tree. My guess is that he was hiding up there when he was shot.

A 12 year old girl named Amy (Pamelyn Ferdin, Edna Unger from TV's ODD COUPLE) is out picking mushrooms and discovers his severely wounded body. They talk, exchange names and cell phone numbers, and just before the girl helps him to stand, he tells her she's "old enough to kiss a man" and pulls her down beside him and gives her a long, hard kiss on the mouth. Huh??? She's confused, but happy. I'm confused and kinda grossed out. She then drags him to the mansion on a old plantation that serves as an all-girls school, where "McB" slowly regains his health under the care of sexually repressed headmistress Martha Farnsworth (Geraldine Page) and the horny girl students who live there. Sort of like when Blair first dragged Jo back to the Eastland school where sexually repressed Mrs. Garrett welcomed her with open arms.

Martha puts her skeptical slave Hallie in charge of washing him...above and below the waist! We are treated to hints of incest when Hallie dresses him in Martha's brother's shirt. Afraid of being turned over to the rebel forces, McB behaves like a polite and appreciative guest, after all he is a Quaker! As he gets healthier, he begins to charm (or beguile if you may) the love-starved students.

Soon the girls begin to vie for his affections, at first we think he's actually falling for virginal teacher Edwina (Elizabeth Hartman), but he seems to be inspiring jealousy among some of the others. This reminds me of Tatum O'Neal and Kristie McNichol both going after Matt Dillon in LITTLE DARLINGS. When one of the spurned girls tries to turn McB over to the Confederate army, Martha comes to his defense, claiming that he's her cousin from Texas. When McB tries to "thank" the headmistress for offering him a permanent residence at the school as the groundskeeper (replacing her brother) we witness a full flashback of Martha and and her lusty sibling getting it on. Donny and Marie Osmond they are not!

Following this we are then treated to Martha's wine-induced dream sequence, an eerie montage of McB frolicking with both Martha and Edwina, ending with a lesbian-tinged three-way that transforms itself into a painting of The Pieta. I swear...McB then gets to suck the nipple of one of the slutty girls - teenaged hussy Carol - leading to a an altercation with an enraged Edwina which ends with McB at the foot of the long circular staircase with a newly re-wounded leg. The battle of the sexes has begun!

SPOILERS START HERE. Martha has the girls harness him up and tie him to the dining room table- and announces that she plans to cut off his leg before it becomes infected with gangrene. What follows is some pretty brutal stuff, involving blood, knives, a saw, bloody hands, sweat, facial close-ups, more blood, blurry faces, a sweaty slave, more blood - you name it...

Clint flips out when he wakes up the next day without a leg, and he's now a prisoner rather than a welcomed guest. Amy tells McB that she loves him and he loves her back. I think she's 13 now. Somehow McB gets his hands on a gun - and now he has the upper hand...but only one leg!

After he threatens Hallie, we flashback to her being raped by Martha's brother. Charming fellow. McB then discovers the wine cellar, then he interrupts the girl's lunch with a drunken rant...and news that he has discovered love letters between Martha and her brother! When Amy tries to lighten things up, he flings her pet turtle across the room, killing it!!! Huh? After this hysteria, Martha convinces sweet, innocent Amy to put down the bloody turtle and gather up some yummy mushrooms for the evening's dinner.

At dinner, McB apologizes for his drunken behavior, leads the table in prayer and and announces his intention to marry Edwina, but it is too late...he's been poisoned by Amy's mushrooms!!! Clint realizes this and slowly gets up from the table and struggles to leave the room. Martha demands that the girls leave him be and finish their dinner. They do. He tumbles to the ground off camera and dies. Next the girls wrap up his body and carry it outside the gate to dump it. The end.

This movie is brilliant. I'm not much of an Eastwood fan, but between this and PLAY MISTY FOR ME, I gotta say - he really knew how to pick 'em back them. Great acting from Clint, Page and Hartman also set this film apart from the pack. THE BEGUILED gets a big 10 outta 10 in my book. In an odd coincidence, two of the actresses, Elizabeth Hartman and Geraldine Page, died in the same week. Hartman died on June 10, 1987 after jumping out of an 5-story window in an apparent suicide. Page died on June 13, 1987 of a heart attack. Sad.

More Diller Memories - Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number!

God I loved this movie as a kid - a silly sex comedy with Bob as a nervous husband, Elke Somer (before her feud with Zsa Zsa Gabor) covered in bubbles and my favorite atheist Republican Phyllis Diller playing (essentially) herself. What a riot. What's not to love?

More Diller Memories: Garbage Soup

Wow.

Diller Memories: THE FAT SPY

A special trip down memory lane with the late Ms. Diller from my 2nd post - way back in 2007!After recently reading Phyllis Diller's autobiography (brilliantly titled Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse), I have decided to seek out her rare appearances in film. In her book, Ms. Diller describes 1966's THE FAT SPY as "one of the worst things ever committed to celluloid, full of lousy jokes and terrible music." With a description like that, I just had to find it!

Well, I found it (via Netflix). I'm just not sure what to say about it. It's basically a beach party movie without Frankie and Annette and without much of a plot. But what it does have is love goddess Jayne Mansfield!!! Our favorite 50s sex bomb (that's right, Marilyn, you heard us). From THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT to THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD... from the TV-movie bio starring Loni Anderson to the awesome Siouxsie & the Banshees song "Kiss Them For Me" - Jayne has always been one of my special guilty pleasures. Phyllis describes Jayne as "overweight, hooked on pills and firmly on the skids." How could you NOT love that? Jayne was Anna Nicole before Anna Nicole was born!

Well, back to the movie. From what I can ascertain, the plot goes like this: there is some island, which is is supposed to be the fountain of youth. An annoying teenage band, The Wild Ones, and their girlfriends, descend on the island for a scavenger hunt — which pisses off the island's owner, who enlists his daughter named Junior(?) (played by Jayne), to evict the kids. Junior 's lover Irving (played by comedian Jack E. Leonard) is asked to "spy "on the rowdy teenagers hence the "Fat Spy" title. Ugh. Irving's twin brother Herman, (also Jack E. Leonard) and his lover, Camille Salamander (Phyllis Diller), also show up - looking for the fountain of youth. In between all this The Wild Ones manage to perform about 100 crappy songs. Oh yeah, and some guy drowns himself so he can live with mermaids!

Phyllis describes the filming of THE FAT SPY on location in Florida as being a nightmare. Between the heat, swarms of mosquitoes and production problems, she often skips over discussing this film and calls 1966's BOY DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER her REAL first film. (Much like how Carol Channing dismisses the LSD musical-comedy SKIDOO).

Any Phyllis fan should check THE FAT SPY out as a curiosity. A friend of ours recently played it at a party and said it became a great conversation piece - definitely a movie that makes you say "huh?". Directed by Joseph Cates. Rating: 7 outta 10 "huhs".

Diller Memories...HAPPILY EVER AFTER

In the wake of the two recent SNOW WHITE feature films, here's a little gem from 2008 - reposted for your reading pleasure!From the creative geniuses at Filmation that brought us the HE-MAN/SHE-RA CHRISTMAS SPECIAL  comes HAPPILY EVER AFTER (made in 1988 - but released in 1993) an animated feature that thinks it's a sequel to Disney's 1937 classic. With voice talent like Carol Channing, Phyllis Diller, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sally Kellerman and Tracey Ullmann - one expects to be in for a treat - or at least a camp classic. One should not have such great expectations.First off, the much-loved Dwarfs have been replaced here by a group of mismatched grotesque female trolls called (believe it or not) Dwarfelles (all idiotically named: Muddy, Sunburn, Blossom, Marina, Critterita, Moonbeam and Thunderella) and the fierce Evil Queen is replaced by her fey brother Lord Maliss (Malcolm McDowell, CALIGULA), who looks like every Scooby-Doo bad guy rolled into one. Jolly Dom DeLuise is the voice of the magic mirror, who recounts the entire plotline of SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS as this film opens. This is actually the best part.Meanwhile, cigar-smoking Scowl the Owl (voiced by Ed Asner) and a bunch of bats, rats and ogres are celebrating the death of the Evil Queen, when her shape-shifting brother arrives looking for his sister. The mirror tells him that the Queen is now dead and Snow White (Irene Cara of FAME fame) is to blame! He asks the mirror, "Who's the pretty boy she's with?" Hmmmm...Maliss (or Malice) then declares himself all fabulous and vows to "control the laws of nature and bend them to (his) will!"  Then he transforms himself into a big, blood-engorged red dragon and leaves.Scowl the Owl then begins rapping about being the "Baddest". And he's right. You have not lived until you've heard Ed Asner do hip hop. At this point I consider ejecting the dvd and using it as a coaster, but alas, it belongs to Netflix and not I. Meanwhile, because Evite doesn't exit yet, Snow White and her Prince are traveling on horseback to deliver invitations to the Dwarfs for their wedding. Maliss in his dragon form attacks them - first capturing Snow White, but the owl helps her escape. Maliss then tells the Prince that he "has something VERY special in store for him". I'll bet. ;)Snow White flees "into the woods", where the Dwarfs used to live, only they've gone "bye, bye" and their female cousins are now in charge. Each Dwarfelle (I can't believe I'm typing that word!) magically and inexplicably controls an aspect of nature - Muddy (Channing) makes earthquakes, Blossom (Gabor) grows flowers, butch lesbian Sunburn (Kellerman) controls sunlight and Thunderella (Ullman) manages the weather. They all report to Mother Nature (Diller). After we meet all the gals, Ullman warbles a horrible song that sounds like it was played on a Casio keyboard. Okay, I think I'm really done with this now, when someone I like is forced to sing a dreadful song - it's time to hit STOP.To be honest with you, the animation is so bloody awful, even worse than the usual Filmation crap , I could barely watch it. Every character seems like they were drawn in a different amateur-ish style and the unimaginative backgrounds and murky colors don't help at all. All-in-all a very feeble attempt at trying to fool audience into thinking that Snow White's story continues to unfold in this horrific way. So I FFWed. In the end, the troll women defeat the villain and Snow White and the Prince are reunited. Big surpise. They then invite all the Dwarfelles and Dwarfs to their royal wedding! And they all lived...well, you know what.If you have kids and want to punish them HAPPILY EVER AFTER is highly recommended. Otherwise, steer clear and watch any Disney original instead. FYI...Filmation also made A SNOW WHITE CHRISTMAS (though there seems to be no continuity between the two projects whatsoever).