Animated Halloween Specials (part 2)

CBS seemed to be the network that had the most and more frequently repeated animated Halloween specials. In the 1970s, CBS was also the home of Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Warner Bros., Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies characters, so it seemed pretty natural that a Bugs Bunny-themed Halloween cartoon would eventually air. Bugs Bunny was already a popular Halloween costume and starred in numerous Halloween comic books.In 1977 BUGS BUNNY'S HOWL-OWEEN SPECIAL debuted. This was not a new cartoon - in fact it was a "clip show" made up of 10 Bugs Bunny theatrical one-reelers.
Many of the shorts featured a scene-stealing character named Witch Hazel who Chuck Jones created in 1954 as an adversary for Bugs in Bewitched Bunny. Hazel proved so popular with audiences that she returned two years later in Broomstick Bunny and again in 1959's A Witch's Tangled Hare. A Disney character with the same named appeared earlier, but had little in common with Chuck's Hazel other than voice actress June Foray who voiced both. (Only after Bea Benaderet was unavailable to return for the second short). 
Hazel also appeared briefly in 1963's Transylvania 6-5000 and then took on Daffy Duck and Speedy Gonzales in 1966's A Haunting We will Go. She later resurfaced in the dreadful feature Space Jam (1996) and in several episodes of WB cartoon shows.

Airing after Bug's annual outing was RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY IN THE PUMPKIN WHO COULDN'T SMILE - that's a mouthful! Ann & Andy were introduced to the public in 1918 and 1920 as storybook characters in a series of books written and illustrated by Johnny Gruelle. They made the leap to animation in the 1940s in three theatrical shorts. In 1977, a feature film called RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY: A MUSICAL ADVENTURE met some success - enough for former Bugs Bunny animator Chuck Jones to adapt them for television with June Foray (!) providing the voice of Ann! Is there nothing this woman cannot voice?!

This special continued to air on CBS for a few years, and later on the Disney Channel.

Having never seen it, I'd be interested to see what life Jones was able to breath into these ragdolls. For more on the history of Raggedy Ann & Andy go here and here.

ELVIRA: Mistress of the Dark

Ever re-watch a movie that you thought you loved and discovered that maybe you didn't love it after all. ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK is that kind of movie. I remember seeing it shortly after it was released in 1988 (directed by James Signorelli) and thinking, "Hey, this is actually better than I thought it would be." 20 years later, I'm thinking, "Hey, this is NOT actually even as good as I thought it would be the first time I saw it, when I thought it was gonna be bad!". Well, having said, it's not terrible. It does have it's comedic moments, mostly supplied by great character actors like Edie McClurg (most famous as Mrs. Poole on THE HOGAN FAMILY) and Pat Crawford Brown (now known as Ida Greenberg on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES).

The story concerns the curvaceous Elvira (Cassandra Peterson), a local TV horror hostess who dreams of playing Vegas. After she is fired from her job, she learns that the casino that she booked needs $50,000 upfront before they'll let her perform. Within minutes, news that her Great Aunt Morgana has died and has possibly left her an inheritance, gives her (and us) hope that she will make it to Vegas. 

Buxon beauty Elvira drives cross country in her awesome convertible to Fallwell, MA (tee-hee), the most conservative town this side of Harper Valley. Once there, she meets the locals - all prim, proper  and highly bigoted. What follows is an unending series of  breast and penis jokes. Our busty goth gal soon discovers that she has a Great Uncle Vincent (which would have been great if Vincent Price played the part), who despises her as well. Turns out, the full-figured Elvira inherits her great aunt's decaying Mansion on the Universal backlot and a mysterious book of "recipes." Uncle Vinnie, who inherits nothing– is not amused.

Her creepy uncle goes to all sorts of extremes to get the book out of Elvira's possession, including hiring sleazy Jeff Conaway and some other goon to abscond it. Various subplots involving bosomy Elvira's crush on the local hunky movie theater owner (could he wear his jeans any tighter-or higher?), her "new wave" makeover of  Aunt Morgana's dog Algonquin (poor thing!) and her titillating friendship with the local teens all play out as silly as can be expected. The voluptuous vixen is fun to watch at times, but her wisecracking "valley girl" schtick wears thin pretty quickly. McClurg's Chastity Pariah has a few great lines when a local outdoor fair turns into an orgy thanks to our little chesty witch.

Along the way, our ample heroine learns that she's inherited some magical abilities and can now use them to great effect. The climax of the film is the best part, as she is about to be burned at the stake by the townsfolk. I will not spoil it for those who have not seen it. Suffice to say, she makes it to Vegas in time to performing a Cher-meets-Divine dance number that includes some outrageous pastie twirling. Overall a very mixed bag, but fun to watch if your expectations are very low...low-cut and lowbrow.

Using my old "Huh?" scale - I'd give this one a 5 outta 10.

Cassandra Peterson herself gets a perfect 10 in my book. Her commitment to causes such as gay rights and animal welfare have earned her legions of fans outside of the horror movie world. Playing the same character in all sorts of media (TV, films, radio, music, theme parks, video games, comic books, etc.) for over 25 years, she has created a larger-than-life persona that continues to entertain new audiences internationally and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Check out her website for her latest appearances.

Tragic Halloween Costumes (bionic edition)

Well, I've had absolutely no requests for any more of my parody NBC 1974 SLIDESHOW slides, so here's some more hideous Halloween costumes from the seventies. Here we have THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, who looks more like CBS newsman Dan Rather. Also, the graphic illustration is perversely out of proportion. I did not realise that Steve Austin has elephantitis of the head.
And then there's THE BIONIC WOMAN...which isn't half-bad, but why does she look like she's sleeping? Oh - this must represent Jamie Sommers' in a coma - after her parachuting accident. Wake up, Jamie - wake up!!!
I wonder if Ben Cooper ever made a FEMBOT costume? Now that would have been terrific - especially if it came with the requisite rainbow smock and Ronald MacDonald fright wig!

How's about a nice SLIDESHOW?

For the past three years, there's been an incredible fun (and cheap!) thing to do in LA called SLIDESHOW. It happens once a month in a cool space called THE FAKE GALLERY (4319 Melrose Avenue in Hollywood, CA 90028). Well on Friday, October 17th, Steve Silverman's cult hit turns the BIG THREE! If you haven't seen it (or been in it, like me) - this is your chance to experience one of the most unique theater/performance art/stand-up comedy/monologue things in town.Basically a bunch of performers (sometimes famous, sometimes not) tell you a story (often times hysterically funny, sometimes poignant) while clicking through accompanying and almost always appropriate slides. The subjects range from topics as diverse as the performers themselves. Some of my favorites included a collection of department store kiddie portraits, a tragic Hawaiian honeymoon and a sordid tale of a horny teen-age gay stalker. Like I said - something for everyone! My "performance" was a parody of the NBC 1974 line-up...here's a few samples of my slides with commentary (I will post more if there's a clamoring for them...)This year Monday Night at the Movies features a stellar line-up of movies in which child star Linda Blair is imprisoned and assaulted repeatedly, becomes an alcoholic, runs away, steals things and finally–gets possessed! 
Yes, LITTLE WHOREHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE - sure to warm the heart with tales of cowboys & sexually transmitted diseases...and soon to be a Broadway musical...BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.
Following the whores is a bold new show that combines the star of a great musical film with the premise of an action thriller. It's CABARET meets DIRTY HARRY in...THE EQUALIZA! Oscar winner Liza Minnelli takes the law into her own hands and sings her way through the mean streets of San Francisco, cleaning up the city scum with 45 calibers worth of jazz hands and Fosse-inspired dance steps.
We proudly present an ensemble cast of eight rising young actors who are ready to do whatever it takes to rescue those in need. Introducing Chad, Max, Randy, Cody, Ridge, Conner, Ben and Ryan...THE RANGERS IN THE WILD. These 8 handsome young rangers will patrol the Sierra National Park, charged with keeping the park clean and supervising the ever-growing number of tourists who come to enjoy it. An average episode involves protecting half-naked campers from bears, rescuing lost campers and enforcing very strict regulations.
Get me THAT SLUT COP! She's a tramp working undercover for the Los Angeles Police Department... Is that Angie Dickinson? Who else can pull of slutty and coppish. I'd like to see Bea Arthur try THAT in a muu muu!!

Eight all-time favorites (Bobby Banuelos, Hutch Foster, Stacy McQueen, Elizabeth Payne, Amanda Philipson, that guy Steve Silverman, Terri Simmons and Mari Weis) will be returning to load up Steve's state-of-the-art 1974 Kodak Carousel Slide Projector and deliver what the LA Times calls "Shockingly honest stories" and "Downright magical!" To make it a real party - they even got FREE FOOD, FREE DRINK, and HUGE PRIZE GIVEAWAYS! If you miss the 1970's - and WHO DOESN'T? - then DON'T MISS SLIDESHOW'S Third Anniversary Show! Call 323-692-3086 for more info and to make a reservation! Tell 'em Dougsploitation sent ya!

Spooky Pulp Novels

I'm sure there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of great gothic paperback novel covers out there. I came across a few that I thought would be fun to see as Halloween season kicks into high gear.Walk in My Parlor by Rona Randall (What a great name! Does anybody name their daughters "Rona" anymore?) is spooky and sexy at the same time. The gorgeously painted cover features the iconic combination of wrought iron and candles–which always seems evoke helplessness and thrills. I love that the book also features "Easy Read Large Type."

Ah, The Devil's Mansion, here Rex Jardin tells the terrifying tale of Janet, who "was forced to escape the eerie old house or become the bride of the Devil himself!". Talk about spoilers - why not just include "The End," since the entire plot is given away on the cover?! Also beautifully painted.
Monica Robert's Woman of Darkness is "The Finest in Adult Reading" if adults like reading stories about bad ladies and kitty cats. Can't tell if the little girl pictured is the main character as a girl or perhaps her daughter–or victim! I just can't get past those cute cat illustrations.

Ah - now we're talking! Satan's Daughter is an "Epic Book" by the ever-popular Jan Hudson. Here pops looks on as his daughter whips a man in a suit and a lady in her undies. The story: "Desperately, passionately in love with Randy [underwear girl], Jerry [suit guy] thought he found happiness–until he ran headlong [ouch!] into a leather-jacketed band of cruel, lusting wanton,[need another adjective, Jan] twisted [thank you!] he-women...one who wanted Randy even more than he!" Wow - Satan's daughter is a horny, sadistic lesbian - who knew? 

Tragic Halloween Costumes (magic edition)

Since I'm already on the subject of BEWITCHED, let's take a look at some magically themed Halloween costumes. Starting with the lovely Samantha Stephens herself...Well, looking a bit like a drunken drag queen, Sam came in two un-fabulous versions. Both with garish mustard yellow capes and old school witch hats. Why not make the costume match the famous animated Samantha from the opening titles? Oh Ben Cooper, you were such a tease! Well, at least they got her hair color right, unlike...Jeannie from I DREAM OF JEANNIE! Why on Earth would they give her red hair? And again with the yellow! Yuck! Jeannie was known for wearing PINK, not yellow! It's almost like they went out of their way to make her look nothing like the actual character. And these were official licensed products! Ironically, the mask looks more like Barbara Eden today...Getting back to witches...
Here's Witchiepoo from Sid & Marty Krofft's psychedelic kiddie classic H.R. PUFNSTUF. This costume actually works for me. The mask looks like the character and the trippy graphic is kinda cute, even though the illustration makes her look more like 70s era Bette Midler than Billie Hayes. I think this is the best costume I've come across (so far).

TV tie-in merchandise that makes you say "huh?"

I love coloring books! I love crayons! I love BEWITCHED! (the original tv show, NOT that abortion of a feature film) So what's more fun on a scorching 95 degree LA October day that digging out my old BEWITCHED Coloring Book and some melted crayons? Hey wait a minute, what's that in Darrin's mouth, a white crayon? Oh no - it's a cigarette!!! Magic, Mirth and Mystery? It's more like Marlboro, Merit and More?

Why would the publishers of a coloring book for children place a cigarette on the cover? I guess for the same reason there was this: Yes, Fred & Barney - friends of Samantha (according to the famous crossover episode) - also smoked tobacco! Shocking! But hey, it was the 1960s, a totally different time. Speaking of TV, advertising and the 60s, who wouldn't love to see a MAD MEN coloring book???

Well, here's something pretty close, THE EXECUTIVE COLORING BOOK. Read more about it at AdLand.

Tragic Halloween Costumes (part 3)

Long before the madness known as AMERICAN GIRL became our latest national nightmare, young girls (and some adventurous boys) imagined themselves living in the pioneer world of LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. Yes, there were kids who actually enjoyed making believe they worked the fields in Walnut Grove, taught in a school for the blind and battled the devil incarnate herself, Nellie Oleson. Melissa Gilbert as Laura Ingalls Wilder was extremely cute, but it didn't hurt your teeth to look at her (like many other sugary child stars of the 1970s). She had a sweet, wholesome and believable cuteness that kept us tuning in on Monday nights, even into the 1980s when Laura had a husband and kids of her own.So why then, did they make a Halloween mask that made her look more like, um...Perez Hilton?Poor "Half Pint".

Sad "Sonseed" News

Sal from Sonseed has informed me that beloved band member John Wieners passed away on September 29.
Just 20 days before on September 9th, Mr. Weiners sent me this email...

"I would really like to thank you for posting all the Sonseed stuff...as a former member, it was GREAT to walk down memory lane, and to know that people still remember that magical time...as I do.

I guess I am 'Sleepy'...LOL...I am the former Bro. John, CSC...a religious teaching brother at the time who was a member of the group and was instrumental in giving the group a rehearsal space and an auditorium for our Christian Coffeehouse, called HIS PLACE....

BTW...I was the lead singer on our groups signature song.." Sonseed"...

Thanks for having this site, buddy...it's really FUN

John Wieners"

Rest in Peace, Brother John

This one is for you...

Tragic Halloween Costumes (part 2)

To complete the unholy Osmond trinity, here were have the frightening duo of Donny and Jimmy Osmond...Donny (pictured above) also looks a bit like Kaye Ballard...or perhaps even JoAnne Worley! There is something extremely unsettling about this mask - especially grouped with Marie and little Jimmy (pictured below).Jimmy, in the non-Halloween world, was always the creepiest and least talented of the Osmonds - and his Halloween mask has a certain sadness about it. The mask looks like it's saying "I know I'm not as pretty as Marie or as non-threateningly cute as Donny, but please try to look into your heart and try not to hate me - my parents forced me into this. I wish I wasn't born an Osmond, there's just too much pressure. Help." 

For an totally outrageous and angry review of Donny & Marie's 1978 Christmas special by my friend Danny (aka Frieda Laye), go here. Be forwarded that Danny (not DOUG...or Donny) refers to Marie by the word Jane Fonda let slip out on the TODAY SHOW. Also, Jimmy sings a song titled (no lie) "What if Jesus Came". You've been warned.

SPINE-TINGLER! THE WILLIAM CASTLE STORY

Jeffrey Schwarz's outstanding documentary, SPINE TINGLER! THE WILLIAM CASTLE STORY, which tells the story of the last great American showman, filmmaker William Castle,will be showing at several festivals this month including L.A's Screamfest!Castle was a master of promotional gimmicks who's name became synonymous with horror movie gimmicks. Castle's films include the Joan Crawford classics STRAIGHT-JACKET and I SAW WHAT YOU DID as well as the amazing HOMICIDAL, THE TINGLER, and the original versions of 13 GHOSTS and HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL. He also produced ROSEMARY'S BABY. Jeffrey's film is an entertaining and loving tribute to Castle - and a MUST SEE for fans of genre films, cult movies and exploitation lovers. 

See it in Los Angeles:
Saturday, October 12, 12:00PM
Grauman Mann's Chinese 6
6801 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90028
www.screamfestla.com

See it in Spain:
Sitges Film Festival
Sitges, Spain
October 11
www.cinemasitges.com

See it in Pennsylvania:
Eerie Horror Film Festival
Eerie, PA
October 11
www.eeriehorrorfilmfestival.com

See it in New Orleans:
New Orleans Film Festival
New Orleans, LA
October 11
www.neworleansfilmfest.com

See it in Sacramento:
Sacramento Horror Film Festival
Sacramento, CA
October 19
www.sachorrorfilmfest.com

See it in DC:
Spooky Movie Festival
Washington, DC
October 19
www.thespookymovie.com

Tragic Halloween Costumes (part 1)

Ben Cooper costumes were always the highlight of the season for me. Even as a kid I knew that some of the costumes were pretty lame. For example, take a gander at this Kaye Ballard costume. Kaye, co-star of TV's lost treasure THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW has never looked better with her reverse flip hairdo and big bright smile...Oh wait a minute, why is Kaye Ballard wearing a plastic smock that says "Marie Osmond" and holding a box that pictures Donny, Marie and the dreaded Jimmy Osmond? Oh - because it's NOT a Kaye Ballard costume - it's Marie Osmond!!!

Or is it? You decide...

Spooky.

Animated Halloween Specials (part 1)

Am I the only person who gets super excited by this 5-second piece of video?When I was a kid, the sound of the CBS SPECIAL PRESENTATION i.d. was enough to make me drop my action figures and run through the house and plop my ass in front of the closest color TV set. To those too young to understand, there was actually a time before VCRs, dvds, TIVO and the internet when you actually had to watch TV when it was "on". Holiday specials aired once and if you missed 'em, you were out of luck. There was something "special" about "specials" back then. Now, you can watch FROSTY THE SNOWMAN at 3 AM in the middle of the summer. Back in the day, it was an "event" that you waited all year for...and it never disappointed.

Here's two of the less popular animated holiday specials from the CBS library:

THE FAT ALBERT HALLOWEEN special first aired on October 24, 1977. This, of course, is from Filmation Studios, not known for great animation or storytelling. (See my review of HAPPILY EVER AFTER and my friend Danny's skewering of the HE-MAN/SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL.) FAT ALBERT was Filmation's jewel in the crown. Because Bill Cosby was involved, the show was a few notchs above the other shows the studio produced. I watched the Saturday-morning series sometimes, but not on as regular basis. I did love the funky theme song though...

The second cartoon in this double-feature is the awkwardly titled PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING LIES. While not Halloween themed, I guess the brass at CBS figured "dragon=scary=Halloween" and scheduled it to air after FAT ALBERT. Or maybe it was a "obese lead character" theme night? After all the TV Guide ad screams "TWO BIG ONES, BACK TO BACK." I don't think I ever saw this particular show, which is a sequel to 1978's PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON, which in turn was based on the song from folk legends Peter, Paul & Mary. Sung here by Miss Dolly Parton...(insert BIG ONES joke here)

 This cartoon told the story of a little girl dealing with her parent's divorce by telling lies!!! Cartoons in the 1970s were so cool...and relevant. Too bad there isn't a cartoon based on Tammy Wynette's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" - that would really be great!

Look for more Halloween (and country music?) treats from Dougsploitation in the coming weeks!

The Witch Next Door

Happy October! Another fun childrens' book that had a profound effect on me was THE WITCH NEXT DOOR - a sweet Scholastic paperback from 1965. I acquired this book circa 1970 through the school book club and it's been in my library ever since.The story is told from the point of view of a brother and sister who befriend a green-haired witch who moves into their neighborhood. The witch soon paints her house black, hangs her all-black laundry out to dry, and casts some harmless spells. The nameless enchantress throws wild witch parties and has the neighborhood kids over for tea and cookies. She's a bit different, but a very good neighbor. Unfortunately there's some (obviously Republican) folks who want the witch to leave. These intolerant bigots look past all the good things about the sorceress and declare that they "don't want witches in our neighborhood." Fuck them, I say!
Our witchy friend at first responds with anger, as do the neighborhood children–but then casts a terrible spell on them...a wonderfully terrible hex which transforms the hateful right-wingers into a handsome young royal couple! Basically - she gives them an extreme makeover–both inside and out!
When the kids ask to be turned into a prince and a princess too, the witch tells them no, they are perfect the way they are. Awwww...The End. What a incredible way to teach kids about prejudice and tolerance-in 1965! I guess TV shows of the time, BEWITCHED, THE MUNSTERS and THE ADDAMS FAMILY were all kinda sending out the same message - it's okay to be different or eccentric. I guess that message became a way of life for me. Thanks Norman Bridwell!

Worst TV Show Ever?

I love Lynda Carter and I like Loni Anderson a lot. Then I should have really liked PARTNERS IN CRIME - shouldn't I have?From 1984, this "high concept" NBC mystery series told the story of Carole (Lynda) and Sydney (Loni), who had nothing in common but an ex-husband! Carole is a former society matron, who is now flat-broke and trying to make a go at it as a photographer. Sydney is a con-man's daughter, a thief and she also plays the bass! When their shared ex is murdered, he wills his private investigation agency to them both! Of course after they solve his murder, they decided to become private eyes together. What a wacky idea for a TV series - TWO fishes out of water and one Odd Couple! I remember being excited when this show was announced (I must have been high) - and then being embarrassed about watching it. Luckily the curvaceous co-stars escaped this mess to do better work. Lynda went on to great small roles in films like SUPER TROOPER and SKY HIGH and, er Loni resurfaced in continuing rolls on shows like NURSES, THE MULLETS and SO NOTORIOUS. Hmmm - "Dougsploitation Hall of Fame"... I think we have a nominee...after all she also starred in...
For much more info on PARTNERS IN CRIME go here.

TV tie-in merchandise that makes you say "huh?"

JULIA was a ground-breaking, but light-hearted NBC TV sitcom about a widowed African-American nurse played by Diahann Carroll. The show dealt Julia Baker and the difficulties of managing a career and raising a son, Corey (aged 6 at the series start). Corey's best friend was named "Earl J. Waggedorn", whom he addressed as such.
In this "authorized edition", Corey and Earl J. play Show and Tell. I'm not one to guess what exactly this game of Show and Tell encompasses, but Earl Jr. clearly is amused and satisfied, while Corey is looking back over his shoulder as if he's been caught showing something that he shouldn't have. It could be anything: mom's bra, a condom he found in his late father's nightstand drawer, a photo of Earl Jr.'s parents at a Klan rally...anything. I don't know, but there's just something creepy about this bookcover.

After doing a bit of research, I discovered that the book is about this: "Corey decides to take his good friend Earl to school for his Show and Tell". Okay, that is pretty creepy, but kind of cute, I guess.

87% of Criswell's Predictions Have Come True!

The Amazing Criswell (1907-1982) was a psychic who was famous for his bizarre and inaccurate predictions...even though the back of his book claims that 87% have come true! Criswell also became famous for appearing in a few films by Ed Wood including the classic PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959), and the unwatchable  ORGY OF THE DEAD (1965). Criswell as also immortalized on screen by actor Jeffrey Jones in the brilliant Tim Burton biopic, ED WOOD (1994).
So, he may have predicted that Reagan would be governor of California and that JFK wouldn't finish his first four years in office–but he also claimed that Denver would be destroyed by aliens, Fidel Castro would be assassinated and there would be HOMOSEXUAL CITIES!!! Yee-haa! (He also prophecized that the world would end on his 92nd birthday - August 18,1999 - but, sadly, he died when he was pnly 75).

That's right, HOMOSEXUAL CITIES near Des Moines and Columbus! "Perversion will parade shamelessly" - did that ever happen? Oh yeah, they cities "will be complete with stores, churches, bars and restaurants which will ...(have)...organized orgies"! Wow, Criswell - maybe bars - but ORGIES in stores, churches, and restaurants?! It sounds like a uber-gay version of Walt Disney's original plans for EPCOT. Oh, Criswell if only you were 99% accurate...

PS- The Onion A.V. Club ran a great piece on Criswell back in 1999. Check it out.